Teenagers and their sexual openness.

[Adami]

It surprises me that America is getting more openly sexual, considering that less and less people in America are physically attractive.

I see insane amounts of attractive people of both sexes anytime I go outside. Maybe you need to move?

I live in California, which is supposed to be the home of the most attractive people in the US. 

I guess if you like barbie dolls.


Come hang out with me in chicago, ill show you some sexy people.

[MasterShakezula]

It surprises me that America is getting more openly sexual, considering that less and less people in America are physically attractive.

I see insane amounts of attractive people of both sexes anytime I go outside. Maybe you need to move?

I live in California, which is supposed to be the home of the most attractive people in the US. 

I guess if you like barbie dolls.


Come hang out with me in chicago, ill show you some sexy people.

Any gothic hippies?

[dethklok09]

I knew football wouldn't get me laid... Drumline it is

I wouldn't recommend it.  4-5 hour practices, 5 times a week for 5 months straight: Dec. to April.  4 more months from August to November if you school also has a marching band.  I didn't mind that, as much as I despised my dick-ass coach.  Hence, I just did it for one year.   

Also, I didn't get laid.   

So does that mean I can't haz the womenz? 

There could be another way.  Lately, I've routinely ignored or acted coldly towards most female peers and such, and have caught girls looking me over sometimes.  I'd also recommend going to theme parks with friends; I tend to get flirted with by college-agers at theme parks.  Though, they always tend to be gothic hippies.  And drunk.  

Well I wasn't exactly serious in my posts. Btw I remember you told me about that in the lonely hearts thread lol.

Anyway on to the topic when I'm with my friends we honestly rarely talk about sex or anything of that nature (like an actual talk about it, not like "lol no balls"). Even in conversations I overhear I rarely hear it. There are a few really slutty girls at my school but that seems to be it. Also I rarely ever see people grinding but making out isnt too uncommon.

[MasterShakezula]

I knew football wouldn't get me laid... Drumline it is

I wouldn't recommend it.  4-5 hour practices, 5 times a week for 5 months straight: Dec. to April.  4 more months from August to November if you school also has a marching band.  I didn't mind that, as much as I despised my dick-ass coach.  Hence, I just did it for one year.   

Also, I didn't get laid.   

So does that mean I can't haz the womenz? 

There could be another way.  Lately, I've routinely ignored or acted coldly towards most female peers and such, and have caught girls looking me over sometimes.  I'd also recommend going to theme parks with friends; I tend to get flirted with by college-agers at theme parks.  Though, they always tend to be gothic hippies.  And drunk.  

Well I wasn't exactly serious in my posts. Btw I remember you told me about that in the lonely hearts thread lol.

Anyway on to the topic when I'm with my friends we honestly rarely talk about sex or anything of that nature (like an actual talk about it, not like "lol no balls"). Even in conversations I overhear I rarely hear it. There are a few really slutty girls at my school but that seems to be it. Also I rarely ever see people grinding but making out isnt too uncommon.

In my German class, last year, which was full of freshmen, me being a sophomore (due to not knowing about colleges requiring foreign language experience freshman year), and it was kind of painful to see how blatant these 14 year olds were, in regard to their talking about sex.  As in, there was one girl, who'd routinely leave to go to the bathroom. 

It turned out that she was going there to do the dew.

I found that out, due to half the class talking about it (LOUDLY) in frank terms. 

[Implode]

When did "do the dew" become a euphemism for sex? 

[MasterShakezula]

When did "do the dew" become a euphemism for sex? 

When I used it as a euphemism for sex. 

[setrataeso]

I don't think it's a bad thing, necessarily. But, I do feel like some kids are trying to grow up too fast, and they're doing it the wrong way. It seems now that a lot of kids are missing out on their last years of being a kid, meanwhile they are trying so hard to be an adult, and become more sexually open is the way they think it's done. I just feel bad for them; you only get to be a kid once, and they've basically lost it.

That's an interesting take, because in many ways I see it as the exact opposite.  It seems to me like adults are largely responsible for taking the fun out of being a kid.  13 freaking years of getting up at 7:30 in the morning and spending all day at school.  You're expected to bust your ass so you can get into a good college, immediately get a good job and be a responsible adult.  None of this spend a year roaming around Europe garbage.  Don't drink.  Don't smoke.  Do your homework.  Don't screw your girlfriend.  Hell,  they've even turned sports into work now.  I'm not disagreeing with what you're saying at all, they are rushing to grow up as fast as they can, and in some ways that's a shame, but we're not exactly making being a kid much fun anymore.  

Yeah, that's a good point.
However, I think those are all things that can be attributed to the parents, rather than the kids. If the parents are forcing the kid to act responsible, that's on them.
I mean, yeah, I had to get up and go to school and do my homework and shit. But, my parents never busted my ass about getting straight As or acting like an adult. They wanted me to make my own choices, and part of that for me was choosing to have fun, so they me be a kid. I don't think telling kids don't smoke, or drink, or have sex at an early age is confining them to a "serious kid life"; every kid has to follow rules. Part of having rules is breaking them, if you're a kid.
Plus, I think parents 40 years ago were way tougher than now. Parents are a lot more lax about certain things now. These days, the tough stuff for kids is more contemporary. It's about parents trying too hard to have their kids grow up because it's "what's best for them". It's not this 1960's "get my slippers, child" sort of lifestyle, where it was more about respecting your elders. Nowadays, the parents are trying to even out the playing field by trying to be friends with their children. The parents think they are looking out for their kids this way, but it's almost too much. Kids can't make mistakes anymore, because the parents are too scared for their kids now.

Actually, I'm getting into a whole other topic here.
But, I agree. However, I think it's still a mixture of the parent's authority, and also the kids wanting to grow up quicker.

[jmplayer]

I'm going to be a HS senior this year and I rarely hear about such thing. I guess I must have pretty conservative friends, or I focus on studying.

Though my HS had one 'doing the dew' incident a year ago, and everyone knew.

[alirocker08]

So, I fit into your peer group (I was born in '95) and yes, I have to agree that vouching for the English youth, we're pretty damn sexually open. Example. Me and my boyfriend had been going out for 2 and a half months when I went out for a birthday meal with one of my friends and some of her friends who I didn't really talk to. Being somewhat of a curiosity (for the most of my Secondary School life I was the good little nerdy girl who never wore make up) they started asking me whether me and my boyfriend had had sex yet. You know, because that's polite conversation when your out for a posh meal in a restaurant full of strangers. They were shocked to find out that I hadn't slept with him after two and a half months.

The conversation then moved onto the other's sexual experiences.

In short, according to the small selection of 'popular' girls who I spoke to, something is wrong with you if you haven't slept with your partner after two and a half months and it is entirely appropriate to talk about such matters in a nice restaurant. Oh society!

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

I love Mountain Dew.

[lordxizor]

I would guess that if you looked purely at statistics, the same percentage of kids in high school are having sex than over the last few decades, but they're probably much more open about it than previously and are obviously much more likely to broadcast pictures and/or videos of themselves than previously.

[El Barto]

I don't think it's a bad thing, necessarily. But, I do feel like some kids are trying to grow up too fast, and they're doing it the wrong way. It seems now that a lot of kids are missing out on their last years of being a kid, meanwhile they are trying so hard to be an adult, and become more sexually open is the way they think it's done. I just feel bad for them; you only get to be a kid once, and they've basically lost it.

That's an interesting take, because in many ways I see it as the exact opposite.  It seems to me like adults are largely responsible for taking the fun out of being a kid.  13 freaking years of getting up at 7:30 in the morning and spending all day at school.  You're expected to bust your ass so you can get into a good college, immediately get a good job and be a responsible adult.  None of this spend a year roaming around Europe garbage.  Don't drink.  Don't smoke.  Do your homework.  Don't screw your girlfriend.  Hell,  they've even turned sports into work now.  I'm not disagreeing with what you're saying at all, they are rushing to grow up as fast as they can, and in some ways that's a shame, but we're not exactly making being a kid much fun anymore.  

Yeah, that's a good point.
However, I think those are all things that can be attributed to the parents, rather than the kids. If the parents are forcing the kid to act responsible, that's on them.
I mean, yeah, I had to get up and go to school and do my homework and shit. But, my parents never busted my ass about getting straight As or acting like an adult. They wanted me to make my own choices, and part of that for me was choosing to have fun, so they me be a kid. I don't think telling kids don't smoke, or drink, or have sex at an early age is confining them to a "serious kid life"; every kid has to follow rules. Part of having rules is breaking them, if you're a kid.
Plus, I think parents 40 years ago were way tougher than now. Parents are a lot more lax about certain things now. These days, the tough stuff for kids is more contemporary. It's about parents trying too hard to have their kids grow up because it's "what's best for them". It's not this 1960's "get my slippers, child" sort of lifestyle, where it was more about respecting your elders. Nowadays, the parents are trying to even out the playing field by trying to be friends with their children. The parents think they are looking out for their kids this way, but it's almost too much. Kids can't make mistakes anymore, because the parents are too scared for their kids now.

Actually, I'm getting into a whole other topic here.
But, I agree. However, I think it's still a mixture of the parent's authority, and also the kids wanting to grow up quicker.

Can't really argue with that.  I suppose that part of my problem is that the nature of our society kind of forces that adherence to structure and discipline.  The fact that college is so expensive, and even nowadays, is still considered obligatory certainly puts too much emphasis on doing well in school.  I'd really like to see the European notion of the gap-year take hold here. 

I would guess that if you looked purely at statistics, the same percentage of kids in high school are having sex than over the last few decades, but they're probably much more open about it than previously and are obviously much more likely to broadcast pictures and/or videos of themselves than previously.

I had meant to mention the availability of cameras and webcams earlier.  That's been a massive impetus for the more open nature of kids and sexuality.  The fact that not only can they see adults doing freaky shit on the internet, but can also see their peers doing it, certainly changes that aspect of society in a huge way. 

Don't really think that's such a bad thing, either.  My HS girlfriend and I would have killed to have access to what today's kiddos take for granted, and wouldn't have caused us to do any more than we were already doing. 

[zerogravityfat]

no, my high school, which is a very strict and traditional english boarding school was a fuck fest. though europe is usually more open so i can't speak for usa.

[Super Dude]

Honestly, it depends on where you are or who you spend time with.  For my first two years I had a rather traditional high school experience (y'know the kind with jocks and cheerleaders and prom nights), but it was in a community with a large Christian community so hardly anybody went against the dress code except the folks I hung out with (who were generally considered deviants as it is).

My second two years I was at a very liberal high school, where they say the locals who were hippies back in the day sent their kids to school and sometimes became teachers themselves.  There was somewhat more of a frankness about sex, and I quickly came to realize that by our senior year, almost everyone had gone out with almost everyone.  And yes there was a group of "deviants" there who drew penises on the ceiling and things like that, but generally the atmosphere of openness about sex never had the feeling of being in poor taste.

[TheOutlawXanadu]

I was one of those kids who drew penises everywhere and was way too open about stuff but only with friends.

I see no problem with being open about sex. My life philosophy is: The more laid-back, the better. The only problem is that most kids/people are stupid, so more openness might lead to more people boning everyone that moves, which never ends well.

[sonatafanica]

man where was all of this when i was in high school


my girlfriends were prudes and bitches >:/

[Super Dude]

@TOX: Absolutely, totally agreed.

I kinda wanna post the back page of my senior year yearbook so y'alls can see the epic footlong a friend of mine drew.

[Orbert]

I think there's a growing dichotomy in high schools regarding sex and sexuality.  If the statistics and "experts" are correct, the percentage of teens who are sexually active is down overall.  Yet there's no question that in some circles, sex is happening more frequently and at a younger age.

Also interesting is that homosexuality is less stigmatized than when I was in high school.  In the 70's and 80's, if you were a gay guy, or merely suspected of being gay, you were ridiculed, ostracized, and often beaten up.  I'm sure it still happens in some places/schools today, but there's also more openness about it in some places/schools.  Males and females proudly flaunting their homosexual status on Facebook, that kind of thing.  Last summer, I was at my buddy's house and his daughter (a junior at the time) had a male friend over.  When it came time to crash, I asked if I could use the guest room, or how it would work with Joe being there.  They told me that Joe would just sleep in their daughter's room.  I didn't say anything, but I'm sure my face showed some surprise.  "It's okay," they said, "he's gay."  High school juniors.

Things are different now.

[Ravenheart]

I don't think it's bad, but then again, I'm a stupid teenager who hasn't had any life experiences at all and is completely unqualified to give an opinion about anything.

[Implode]

something is wrong with you if you haven't slept with your partner after two and a half months

I can't imagine what these kind of people might've thought of me after not sleeping with a girlfriend after 3.5 years!

[MasterShakezula]

something is wrong with you if you haven't slept with your partner after two and a half months

I can't imagine what these kind of people might've thought of me after not sleeping with a girlfriend after 3.5 years!

Some people think I'm-a-gay because I'm a virgin and girlfriend-free at 16. 

I'd consider myself more education-minded-or-at-least-rather-afraid-of-not-getting-into-college than anything else. 

[Global Laziness]

I can't speak for the group of kids born between '93 and '97 as the OP suggested, but I can speak based on personal experiences (having been born in '91). There will always be people (or teenagers or children or whoever) pushing the line in terms of what is socially acceptable and what isn't. When I was in high school (I graduated two years ago), some people within my own social circles were having sex and some weren't. By and large, those who were having sex were discreet about it and sometimes they discussed it maturely with their friends.

With response to lordxizor's comment about sharing pictures and videos, I didn't know anybody who did it, but I assume that if they did, they would have done it privately.

The thing is, the vast majority of teenagers are way more responsible than you think. It's usually just the bad eggs who grab the spotlight - which really isn't much different than adults.

I was one of those kids who drew penises everywhere and was way too open about stuff but only with friends.

People actually do that? That was one of the strangest parts of Superbad...

[ReaperKK]

something is wrong with you if you haven't slept with your partner after two and a half months

I can't imagine what these kind of people might've thought of me after not sleeping with a girlfriend after 3.5 years!

Some people think I'm-a-gay because I'm a virgin and girlfriend-free at 16. 

I'd consider myself more education-minded-or-at-least-rather-afraid-of-not-getting-into-college than anything else. 

Nothing wrong with you not having a girlfriend at 16.

Also I had a gf all through HS and I still got in a good college (UF)

[Super Dude]

I didn't have my first real girlfriend till I was almost 20.

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

I was one of those kids who drew penises everywhere and was way too open about stuff but only with friends.

People actually do that? That was one of the strangest parts of Superbad...

There is not one textbook in my school with less than 5 penises drawn in it, I can guarantee that. I never got the joy in that.

[Ħ]

It surprises me that America is getting more openly sexual, considering that less and less people in America are physically attractive.

I see insane amounts of attractive people of both sexes anytime I go outside. Maybe you need to move?

I live in California, which is supposed to be the home of the most attractive people in the US. 

I guess if you like barbie dolls.


Come hang out with me in chicago, ill show you some sexy people.

I honestly don't.  But I hear that Chicago isn't much better.

[Global Laziness]

I was one of those kids who drew penises everywhere and was way too open about stuff but only with friends.

People actually do that? That was one of the strangest parts of Superbad...

There is not one textbook in my school with less than 5 penises drawn in it, I can guarantee that. I never got the joy in that.

Weird...

[Adami]

It surprises me that America is getting more openly sexual, considering that less and less people in America are physically attractive.

I see insane amounts of attractive people of both sexes anytime I go outside. Maybe you need to move?

I live in California, which is supposed to be the home of the most attractive people in the US. 

I guess if you like barbie dolls.


Come hang out with me in chicago, ill show you some sexy people.

I honestly don't.  But I hear that Chicago isn't much better.

I guess it depends how insanely picky you are. I see insanely sexy guys and girls all over the place here. Some ugly ones too of course.

[Ħ]

It surprises me that America is getting more openly sexual, considering that less and less people in America are physically attractive.

I see insane amounts of attractive people of both sexes anytime I go outside. Maybe you need to move?

I live in California, which is supposed to be the home of the most attractive people in the US. 

I guess if you like barbie dolls.


Come hang out with me in chicago, ill show you some sexy people.

I honestly don't.  But I hear that Chicago isn't much better.

I guess it depends how insanely picky you are. I see insanely sexy guys and girls all over the place here. Some ugly ones too of course.

Two biggest turnoffs for me: phonyness and unhealthiness.  Unfortunately that makes me shallow in modern American society.  What is your type Adami?

[SPNKr]

I would guess that if you looked purely at statistics, the same percentage of kids in high school are having sex than over the last few decades, but they're probably much more open about it than previously and are obviously much more likely to broadcast pictures and/or videos of themselves than previously.

THISTHISTHIS

[73109]

Being in your age group, born in 1995, I think that you are correct, and there is definitely a boom in sexual openess. I don't mind it. What I do mind are when a bunch of dickwad guys and slutty girls think that having sex at 13 is what makes someone cool. I had a chick text me a while ago and ask me if not having sex if you're 16 is embarrassing. The fuck is this shit!?!? I mean, I'm really open and liberal about everything, but I do find it to be somewhat lame that many people in highschool think like, "LOL. Let's have sex and smoke weed. It makes us cool."

[Arch Benemy]

I've definitely noticed the increase in sexual openness. I'm an '87 kid myself, and when I was at school it was quite a talking point when the first of my clique had sex at 16. Our school uniforms for girls were very reserved, trousers and long skirts, and it was only the sluts (for want of a better word) who were the ones to hitch their skirts up a few inches. But this girl who is a few years younger than me and who I'm sort of involved with has told me that most of her friends had had sex by 15, and also that her and many of her girlfriends had also had sex with other girls at not much older than that. From what she's told me it's a similar story at many of the other schools in the area where she had friends.

It's certainly true that school uniform has changed, with shorter skirts and lower cut tops, but that's more down to the individual than the school, and a seemingly greater need to be 'noticed.' Where has that need come from? As El Barto said so well earlier, the internet and social networking has given young people a massive new medium in which to express themselves. And what easier way for teenage girls in particular to be noticed in this new forum than to flash some flesh? I hate to be the guy who's up in arms about 'the evils of the internet' corrupting 'the fabric of society,' and I for one believe that it is much healthier to flaunt your sexuality than to repress it, but it does seem that if teenagers are more sexually open online then it is bound to become the norm and spill out into day to day society.

Is that a bad thing? In the eyes of the law, I guess so. The age of consent is 16 here and I believe 18 in most of the States, but it certainly seems that those laws are becoming more and more outdated. I think the bigger issue is not that more kids are becoming sexually active at a younger age, but that they are criminalised for what is a perfectly natural reaction to puberty. Of course it is still necessary to have an age of consent as a benchmark in order to protect more vulnerable youths from some unsavoury people who might wish to take advantage, but sexual behaviour between people of a similar age beneath that cut-off? Perfectly reasonable in my opinion, although that might be a topic of discussion for another thread, and as I am still drinking I'll stop typing now 

[Nefyn]

Many people in highschool think like, "LOL. Let's have sex and smoke weed. It makes us cool."

I was born in '93 and this is a mass occurrence, it really is annoying.

[sonatafanica]

"LOL. Let's have sex and smoke weed. It makes us cool."

to be fair,


doing both of those things is better than not doing both of those things

[MasterShakezula]

"LOL. Let's have sex and smoke weed. It makes us cool."

to be fair,


doing both of those things is better than not doing both of those things

I'm happy to be drug-free, but I sure could go for sum lovin. 
Preferably with a girl. 
Like, the kind with breasts. 
But only with protection.