Okay, mother fuckin' beaches, here we go with the final results. Fuck my normal rating system by the way, I'm making this shit up as I go.
First off, in the upper left corner we have Ravenheart, weighing in at 34 pounds, with his weapon of choice. Fallen by For My Pain...
What a fantastic choice for the final round, isn't that right Jim?
Yes, yes it is Alex. Let's go ahead and see what we got here. Fallen is an album filled with nothing but good ol' gothic metal goodness. The music is a step above doom in terms of composition, so it's not 100% dreary. The vocals are definitely the high point of this album, Alex.
Is that right, Jim?
Oh yes, indeed. The vocals show much promise in terms of range, but without much showing off. And the musicianship throughout the album is rather top notch. Definitely one fucking hell of an album. Now before we give point deductions for any faults, let's go ahead and give it the base score for now.
Yes Jim, this album for now hits up with a total of 54,300 points.
Wow, congrats Zander. And now onto the second contestant. Weighing in at 352 epic pounds of epicness, we have Ultimetalhead. His weapon of choice for tonights final round is OM by Negura Bunget. Now this is one hell of a contestant, I must say Alex. Why don't you give us the run down for this one.
Certainly. Negura Bunget are an Italian black metal band who deserve every shred of respect they can muster up. And OM definitely proves itself as a powerful album filled with that almost trademark black metal sound and atmosphere. The vocals seem to be made of the purest essence of evil known to man. An essence that only black metal musician can probably pronounce. There is also much progression in the music on this album, folks. With songs that clock in over 10 minutes in length, and do not bore or disappoint the listener. Every aspect of this album seems to be of the highest quality. What is the ranking we are giving this album before deductions, Jim?
105,563points Alex. Alright, onto the last contestant. SkyhivingManga has entered the ring at >9000 pounds and holding a copy of The Flaming Lips album Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. Now this is an odd submission Alex, seeing how we both know how you feel about things that get labeled as Indie, but you know, this album ain't half bad.
That's right Jim, Yoshimi is actually a fairly wonderful album. Not so much something I'd go out of my way to listen to, but something I am very glad that I was exposed to during this final round. The title tracks being the highlight of the album. I don't really have much else to say, but it put up a good fight. I will say that my mood definitely increased as I listened to this album. Very uplifting in an odd sort of way. I'm going to give this album, before deductions, 73,000 points.
Alright folks, now it's time for the final results. Before we declare the winner, we must deduct points from each player based on the biggest negative aspect of their submission. Sorry boys, but it's company policy.
Ravenheart - 54,300 points. You are being deducted 54,295.5 points because your submission has no clear faults but you have too many points. You are now at 4.5 points.
Ultimetalhead - 105,563 points. You are being deducted 105,558 because your submission is not trve kvlt enough. You are now at 5 points.
SykDjentNinja - 73,000 points. You are being deducted 72,997 points for both not sending mehtul and because it's 2indie4me. You are now at 3 points.
Well there you have it folks, our winner appears to be ULTIMETALHEAD. Don't let this discourage the losing contestants, you all sent me fantastic music that I enjoyed listening to regardless of how many points it got. Justin, please stay behind for a few minutes so I may give you the very phallic trophy you deserve.
Good game all. Go away.