The day after my son Nolan was born, we were informed that he seemed a bit too lethargic for the hospital's liking. He was immedeately being sent to Tufts Floating Hospital for Children in Boston. We spent three days and nights there in the NICU unit. The infant next to him had a hole in his heart. Our son was stable, thank God.
Six weeks later he would be back in the hospital as he could not keep any food down. Our local hospital could not treat him to our satisfaction, so remembering the care he received at Tufts, we drove him up there at 4 in the morning. He was diagnosed with Pyloric Stenosis, which is a fairly common thing. It involves a muscle squeezing the base of the stomach. He was diagnosed and in surgery in a few hours. We handed him over to the surgeon and we were fucking balling our eyes out. The doctor told us it was literally the biggest one he's ever seen. Special. He still has a scar.
His delays in speech would become apparent. Early intervention, pre school. We had to come to grips that we would have a special needs child. "on the spectrum" as they say.
Nolan's greatest asset would be his personality. Many were hesitant to label him autistic because he was so social. He had the support of his classmates, as evident today as they were in elementary school. We could stop at any service area on our trips to Disney, and he would walk by a bunch of bikers and totally disarm and melt them.
Through the years, our IEP meetings would be like sticking a needle in our eyes. He's at "this" reading level, his speech is at "that" level. We could basically count on 3-4 gut punch meetings per year. The worst was when we were told that for 7th grade, we would have to switch school systems. We toured a number of programs in area towns, until we met an extraordinary young teacher in the next town over. We live in West B., and my son would attend school in East B. New school, no friends. Holy fuck! I stepped down in jobs to accommodate greater flexibility in our schedules.
With the help of a group of amazing teachers, my son excelled, earning Honor Roll accolades, as well as ultimately passing his MCAS, which meant he would not graduate with a mere certificate, but with an actual fucking diploma!
We were gutted when we heard we would be having a "drive thru" Graduation. WTF?? Everything we've been through. The tears, the frustrations, hell, we even got our lawyer involved one year... We were livid.
That is until...my wife and son went to the graduation rehersal on Thursday. He was so fired up.The quirkiness of the whole thing really appealed to him, and we began to view it differently. It was about him, and he was totally happy.
We had to be in our assigned parking space this morning at 10 for an 11:00 ceremony. That meant for an hour, it was like a giant tailgate. All of the kids were socializing, hugging, taking pictures together....no masks. It was beautiful. Many of these kids hadn't seen each other in many weeks. Months even.
Not one kid walked by our space without saying "HI Nolan!". He rubs off on everyone, across class. Jock, nerd, black, white. We are so proud of that.
That hour of tailgating socializing may not have been possible with a normal ceremony. Honestly, this might have been one of the most impactful hours in each of these students' lives.
The ceremony would be followed with a car parade through the town. Again, this is not our hometown, yet in over a dozen spots, the people knew my son. We were so proud.
I would be remiss to mention that he has an amazing and supportive younger brother. He has been gifted with many things. While he is growing a quarantine beard and hair, but during the quarantine, he has taken three college AP exams and is only a junior in high school.
tl:dr
My son graduated high school today!
https://youtu.be/wIa2gOVSmjg?t=3664