Author Topic: Altered Beast - HOLY DUCK NEW PREVIEW TRACK (Read 4477 times)

ZBomber · « **on:** May 15, 2011, 12:59:43 AM »

Altered Beast is a progressive shitcore band from central MA. The duo (sometimes trio when they drink large amounts of alcoholic brews, ie brewskis, ie natty ice) have been performing A++ quality music since the spring of 2009 when the two entered a slam poetry contest and totally nailed all the chicks there.

The two shortly thereafter entered a dingy recording studio known as "Bubba's Butt Barn" where they recorded their 30 song debut album "Become The Werebear". Featuring such hits as "Anne Frank And Beans", "Beer N Shit", "Pokecock", and "Ball Sweat", the band ensured themselves among the best in the genre. Playing in crack houses, broken homes, and nudist colonies across the state, they gained the title of "Best Live Act" for 5 years in a row. Later that summer, AB recorded their sophomore album "Grab The Power-Up", returning to their Sega Genesis roots with some sweet in-your-face chiptune fuckage. "Octamom" was nominated for a Grammy, "Craigslist Killer" was a true testament of its time, and "Acid Trip" was based on a true story that never happened for legal reasons.

Feeling fully evolved as a band, John and Mike ventured to new unexplored realms... sodomy. "That One Time I Lost My Virginity to Mr. Mime" was released in September 2009, featuring the life stories of over 50 different Pokemon. It is the first album in a concept suite covering the original 151 Pokemanz. Nintendo has sued the band for copyright abuse but fuck that shit fight the man etc

The band's last full release, an EP titled "The Beast Goes Punk" is pop punk and shit. Snuff films. Marbles. MARBLES.

Altered Beast will be opening for Thundersword on their 2011 tour of Somalia and the Galapagos Islands. They are working on their next album, which is a concept album based upon biblical fictionture.

Also, you should totally pirate their music. Here is their greatest hits album "The Adventures of One Pale Kid And One Slightly Less Pale Kid"

https://www.megaupload.com/?d=APE5IZKH

Facedick: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Altered-Beast/87955028517
Award Winning Live Performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsRRKFQORxg
Outerspace: https://www.myspace.com/spaghettiosband

Ravenheart · « **Reply #1 on:** May 15, 2011, 01:00:58 AM »

lateralus88 · « **Reply #2 on:** May 15, 2011, 01:01:33 AM »

Bestest.

Gadough · « **Reply #3 on:** May 15, 2011, 01:01:59 AM »

My five favorite bands:

1. Altered Beast
2. Thundersword
3. Bloodstained Angels
4. Morbid Goat Fornicator
5. Insane Clown Posse

King Postwhore · « **Reply #4 on:** May 15, 2011, 06:45:47 AM »

So your named after a video game I played as a kid. Cool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwvkRys93Iw

ZBomber · « **Reply #5 on:** May 15, 2011, 10:25:19 AM »

Quote from: kingshmegland on May 15, 2011, 06:45:47 AM

So your named after a video game I played as a kid. Cool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwvkRys93Iw

Actually, the developers wants to make a game based on our life and music. We would only allow it if they granted the player the ability to

POWER UP

zxlkho · « **Reply #6 on:** May 15, 2011, 10:29:12 AM »

Quote from: Gadough on May 15, 2011, 01:01:59 AM

My five favorite bands:

1. Altered Beast
2. Thundersword
3. Bloodstained Angels
4. Morbid Goat Fornicator
5. Insane Clown Posse

contest_sanity · « **Reply #7 on:** May 16, 2011, 01:34:19 PM »

Quote from: lateralus88 on May 15, 2011, 01:01:33 AM

Bestest.

BEASTEST !!!

lateralus88 · « **Reply #8 on:** May 16, 2011, 04:51:00 PM »

This album is pure genius.

ZBomber · « **Reply #9 on:** May 16, 2011, 07:45:06 PM »

Since it is pretty clear that Altered Beast is DTF's new favorite band, I have decided to upload the EP "The Beast Goes Punk". It's totally Pop Punk so it's guranteed to be ~~shit~~ ~~horrible~~ fabulous.

https://www.megaupload.com/?d=PHIZEEI3
The Beast Goes PUNK
1. Super Glue
2. That's What She Said
3. Pop Punk Until I Die

BONUS TRAX:
4. When In Doubt Rub It Out
5. Peanut Butter and Fetus
Run time: ~8 minutes

lateralus88 · « **Reply #10 on:** May 16, 2011, 11:56:12 PM »

Downloading RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

ZBomber · « **Reply #11 on:** May 17, 2011, 11:11:32 PM »

Quote from: lateralus88 on May 16, 2011, 11:56:12 PM

Downloading RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

Seeing as how you have not reported back, I can only assume that you were fapping to the album and your parents walked in and then you quickly tried to cover yourself with a blanket but it was too late your mother had already seen your junk so you tried to play it cool like you didnt care that they saw you doing that but it eventually ate away at your soul until you jumped from your window seeking out death, only to crash into a pecker bush HOW IRONIC

or maybe you just didnt like it idk

lateralus88 · « **Reply #12 on:** May 18, 2011, 12:07:10 AM »

I went into comatose over how good it was. Super Glue has some of the greatest vocal harmonies I've ever heard. Absolutely stunning.

Also the above scenario was half true.

ZBomber · « **Reply #13 on:** February 06, 2012, 11:00:27 PM »

Altered Beast jamboree get your tshirts and your megaphones and lets teamwork this together. New album in petcos everywhere February 14th which is valentines day so give that special woman in your life the gift that lives forever... an Altered Beast teamwork double-team

Dark Castle · « **Reply #14 on:** February 06, 2012, 11:05:46 PM »

Since Megaupload is now taken down, is there anywhere else to get this GENIUS?

ZBomber · « **Reply #15 on:** February 06, 2012, 11:13:53 PM »

Quote from: Dark Castle on February 06, 2012, 11:05:46 PM

Since Megaupload is now taken down, is there anywhere else to get this GENIUS?

We have received bid offers from 5 different major online websites (4 of them extreme bondage/cat fetish websites). We currently have not decided who we should bear the honor of hosting our albums yet. Just be assured that by this time next week, you will get to curl up in your bed, clutching tightly to your ipod or idevice or cd player containing ILLEGAL BOOTLEG MODIFIED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT if youre a loser who supports this kind of thing as Altered Beast crawls into your ears, erects a statue to our god who oddly resembles a black man in clown gear, as the dawns of eternity cascade through a tunnel of wisdom and truth and FREEDOM to your brain.

Um. But. I hope you will enjoy this album in 3DIMENSIONAL IMAX February 14 2012 thank you

Dark Castle · « **Reply #16 on:** February 06, 2012, 11:16:39 PM »

Quote from: ZBomber on February 06, 2012, 11:13:53 PM

Quote from: Dark Castle on February 06, 2012, 11:05:46 PM
Since Megaupload is now taken down, is there anywhere else to get this GENIUS?

We have received bid offers from 5 different major online websites (4 of them extreme bondage/cat fetish websites). We currently have not decided who we should bear the honor of hosting our albums yet. Just be assured that by this time next week, you will get to curl up in your bed, clutching tightly to your ipod or idevice or cd player containing ILLEGAL BOOTLEG MODIFIED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT if youre a loser who supports this kind of thing as Altered Beast crawls into your ears, erects a statue to our god who oddly resembles a black man in clown gear, as the dawns of eternity cascade through a tunnel of wisdom and truth and FREEDOM to your brain.

Um. But. I hope you will enjoy this album in 3DIMENSIONAL IMAX February 14 2012 thank you

Gadough · « **Reply #17 on:** February 06, 2012, 11:33:54 PM »

Quote from: ZBomber on May 15, 2011, 12:59:43 AM

Altered Beast is a progressive shitcore band from central MA.

Almost a year later, I still can't read this without laughing.

lateralus88 · « **Reply #18 on:** February 07, 2012, 12:30:23 AM »

I still better be the first person to hear this album in its entirety.

Jamesman42 · « **Reply #19 on:** February 07, 2012, 12:33:30 AM »

I already heard it

Yes I'm so indie I knew I was indie before you did

lateralus88 · « **Reply #20 on:** February 07, 2012, 08:47:36 AM »

Holy fuck this album is Ah. Maze. Zing. It just makes me want to get up and get my dance on.

Zook · « **Reply #21 on:** February 07, 2012, 09:21:29 AM »

Sigh...

skydivingninja · « **Reply #22 on:** February 07, 2012, 09:48:57 AM »

tbh, Altered Beast is actually a pretty awesome band name.

antigoon · « **Reply #23 on:** February 07, 2012, 09:51:54 AM »

Quote from: skydivingninja on February 07, 2012, 09:48:57 AM

tbh, Altered Beast is actually a pretty awesome band name.

Yeah...for a joke band

ZBomber · « **Reply #24 on:** February 07, 2012, 10:04:12 AM »

Quote from: Zook on February 07, 2012, 09:21:29 AM

Sigh...

Don't worry Zook. I haven't forgotten that you were the first person to ever come up with a band of this nature. I know that the course of time hasn't been very kind to your band and you have been replaced in the hearts of your fans by video games and magic the gathering card packs (tm). As a result, I would like to extend the invitation for Krotchraut to play as the opening band in the venue parking lot on our nationwide tour this summer. I think it will be a heart warming experience for those that really enjoy sucking dick.

AcidLameLTE · « **Reply #25 on:** February 07, 2012, 12:02:13 PM »

To be honest, Static Crap have been going for 6 years now so Zook can't really complain about them being more popular than his joke band.

skydivingninja · « **Reply #26 on:** February 07, 2012, 12:28:00 PM »

Quote from: ZBomber on February 07, 2012, 10:04:12 AM

Quote from: Zook on February 07, 2012, 09:21:29 AM
Sigh...

Don't worry Zook. I haven't forgotten that you were the first person to ever come up with a band of this nature. I know that the course of time hasn't been very kind to your band and you have been replaced in the hearts of your fans by video games and magic the gathering card packs (tm). As a result, I would like to extend the invitation for Krotchraut to play as the opening band in the venue parking lot on our nationwide tour this summer. I think it will be a heart warming experience for those that really enjoy sucking dick.

Hey now. Magic: the Gathering (tm) cards have filled my heart for 10 years. There's no way Krotchraut or Altered Beast could ever fit in there alongside them.

ZBomber · « **Reply #27 on:** February 07, 2012, 02:42:46 PM »

Quote from: skydivingninja on February 07, 2012, 12:28:00 PM

Quote from: ZBomber on February 07, 2012, 10:04:12 AM
Quote from: Zook on February 07, 2012, 09:21:29 AM
Sigh...

Don't worry Zook. I haven't forgotten that you were the first person to ever come up with a band of this nature. I know that the course of time hasn't been very kind to your band and you have been replaced in the hearts of your fans by video games and magic the gathering card packs (tm). As a result, I would like to extend the invitation for Krotchraut to play as the opening band in the venue parking lot on our nationwide tour this summer. I think it will be a heart warming experience for those that really enjoy sucking dick.

Hey now. Magic: the Gathering (tm) cards have filled my heart for 10 years. There's no way Krotchraut or Altered Beast could ever fit in there alongside them.

But we can still fit alongside video games? NICE!!

glaurung · « **Reply #28 on:** February 07, 2012, 04:59:38 PM »

Altered Beast cured my athlete's foot and helped me get an A on my math test.

Zook · « **Reply #29 on:** February 07, 2012, 06:39:05 PM »

Quote from: AcidLameLTE on February 07, 2012, 12:02:13 PM

To be honest, Static Crap have been going for 6 years now so Zook can't really complain about them being more popular than his joke band.

Actually, my complaint lies with you fellas dissing and just writing my band off before even listening to it, but when any of the guys in The Harry And The Pears Club makes a band, it's the greatest thing ever.

Oh well. Boo frickety hoo.

antigoon · « **Reply #30 on:** February 07, 2012, 11:49:25 PM »

I think you should start a new joke band.

AcidLameLTE · « **Reply #31 on:** February 08, 2012, 02:07:15 AM »

New band is on the way.

It's going to be the worst/best one yet.

Edit: I've already got a song title to base the song around

TheVoxyn · « **Reply #32 on:** February 08, 2012, 04:20:11 AM »

Those live performances

Jamesman42 · « **Reply #33 on:** February 08, 2012, 06:30:57 AM »

Quote from: glaurung on February 07, 2012, 04:59:38 PM

Altered Beast cured my athlete's foot and helped me get an A on my math test.

Wait now, I could have done that by simply licking your foot and telling you how precious I really think you are.

ZBomber · « **Reply #34 on:** February 08, 2012, 06:33:51 AM »

Quote from: AcidLameLTE on February 08, 2012, 02:07:15 AM

New band is on the way.

It's going to be the worst/best one yet.

Edit: I've already got a song title to base the song around

You should call it Mike and the Pears. Or maybe Zookini

Quote from: Jamesman42 on February 08, 2012, 06:30:57 AM

Quote from: glaurung on February 07, 2012, 04:59:38 PM
Altered Beast cured my athlete's foot and helped me get an A on my math test.

Wait now, I could have done that by simply licking your foot and telling you how precious I really think you are.

Oh. Well, we just brought him to a doctor who gave him medication for his athlete's foot/ADD.

News: The staff at DTF wish to remind you all that a firm grasp of the rules of Yahtzee can save your life and the lives of your loved ones. Be safe out there.

Author Topic: Altered Beast - HOLY DUCK NEW PREVIEW TRACK (Read 4477 times)