What attracts guys to a girl?

[Nick]

James, remember that night in college you blacked out and can't remember at all what happened to you?

My point is I have a chance with you, whether you know it or not.

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

I miss jackie in this thread

I miss Jackie in every thread, in the laughter of every child, in the gentle caress of the breeze upon a grove of flowers, in the fizzy sort of plopping sound of beer spilt onto a hardwood floor, in the dissertation of every book that goes awry, and in that feeling that you get when you think you're falling out of bed but then you jolt yourself awake and discover that you're in the middle of the bed and not even close to any of the edges, and whoa, wasn't that weird? It's been, like, a year since that last happened.

Anyway, what were we talking about?

[Jamesman42]

James, remember that night in college you blacked out and can't remember at all what happened to you?

My point is I have a chance with you, whether you know it or not.

That chance is so slim that even Ally Mcbeal would think about that and give up on the spot.

[Fluffy Lothario]

Once, while looking over photos, my friend pointed out to me that I've never been with a girl who didn't have huge boobs. The funny thing is, I normally don't even notice a girl's boobs when I'm getting to like her. I must do it subconsciously.

Anyway, I personally prefer girls who aren't super slim. Broomstick women just don't appeal to me so much. A couple of my girlfriends have been what some people would probably regard fat girls. I wouldn't rule out being with quite a skinny girl, if we were getting along and everything, but it generally just isn't what attracts me, so it hasn't happened yet.

I dunno if anyone would back me up on this, but to me, being hot has more to do with looking in proportion than looking slim. Small girls with absolutely ginormous boobs would look kinda silly. And a girl with a bigger build can actually be carrying quite a bit of weight, but as long as it doesn't LOOK out of place on her, as long as she still has a nice, shapely, feminine build (I'm not sure how to describe what I mean), it'll still look hot.

I guess you could take all this to mean I'm not overly fussy, though I don't particularly like wafer thin girls, which means the stereotype of guys wanting thin girls doesn't really apply to me at all. But at the end of the day, I'm never gonna be into a girl if we don't have some things in common, if we can't just talk shit and laugh and chill around each other, if something doesn't click between us. So yes, it is more about personality.

[73109]

I knew exactly who this was once you said Prince.

[ZBomber]

I miss jackie in this thread

I miss Jackie in every thread, in the laughter of every child, in the gentle caress of the breeze upon a grove of flowers, in the fizzy sort of plopping sound of beer spilt onto a hardwood floor, in the dissertation of every book that goes awry, and in that feeling that you get when you think you're falling out of bed but then you jolt yourself awake and discover that you're in the middle of the bed and not even close to any of the edges, and whoa, wasn't that weird? It's been, like, a year since that last happened.

Anyway, what were we talking about?

Well, we might as well turn this into another LHK appreciation thread now...

[Jamesman42]

But that night in college, I thought that was your mom with her mouth wide open after eating a bunch of girl scout cookies, doubled over and moaning her dietary regrets.

[AcidLameLTE]

I have to admit, I have a thing for fairly skinny girls.

[ariich]

To be honest, the fact that you think (or thought) girls generally go for personality and guys generally go for looks shows how young you are. A lot of people from both genders are like one or the other, but once you get past high school age I've not noticed any trend one way or the other. Some people are shallow, others aren't.

So don't generalise about men kthxbye.

[Fluffy Lothario]

Also, look at older people (let's say thirty five, forty onwards). How many of them are with someone else? Most of them, I'd say. How many of them look like supermodels? More importantly, how many of them probably never looked like supermodels?

Really, regardless of whether they're fat or ugly or they smell like a bucket of fish heads, most people end up with someone eventually. To me, that says something about how much the standards you see being forced onto girls really matter.

[ehra]

To be honest, the fact that you think (or thought) girls generally go for personality and guys generally go for looks shows how young you are. A lot of people from both genders are like one or the other, but once you get past high school age I've not noticed any trend one way or the other. Some people are shallow, others aren't.

So don't generalise about men kthxbye.

Weren't you one of the people in a thread awhile ago who was arguing that girls go for assholes? 

[ariich]

To be honest, the fact that you think (or thought) girls generally go for personality and guys generally go for looks shows how young you are. A lot of people from both genders are like one or the other, but once you get past high school age I've not noticed any trend one way or the other. Some people are shallow, others aren't.

So don't generalise about men kthxbye.

Weren't you one of the people in a thread awhile ago who was arguing that girls go for assholes? 

I don't think so, unless it was in September when I'd been dumped, in which case maybe.

[j]

In college I slept around quite a bit with a lot of chicks who I couldn't stand to be around otherwise.  I never once considered even dating any of them for any period of time, no matter how hot they were.  Personality is important outside of one night stands.

My wife and I were first attracted to each other based on physical factors and the personal chemistry developed fairly quickly afterward, but I know a lot of people who had it happen the opposite way as well.  Guys DO find physical attractiveness important too.

BUT, "society" doesn't have anything to do with it.  I'm certainly not into fat chicks, but the bony-ass 12-year-old-boy-looking fashion model "ideal" is just as gross as a 300 lb whale woman IMO.  There are guys who like fat chicks, guys who like skinny chicks, and everything in between.  I can GUARANTEE you, that no matter what a girl looks like (except for extreme cases, probably ), there are plenty of guys out there who will think she's gorgeous.

-J

[ariich]

I can GUARANTEE you, that no matter what a girl looks like (except for extreme cases, probably ), there are plenty of guys out there who will think she's gorgeous.

Bingo, well said man.

[ehra]

I'm really curious to know just how many guys genuinely prefer "skinny" girls to "fit" or "athletic". There's supposed to be all of this pressure for girls to get super skinny, but is that really what most guys prefer?

[juice]

I like girls that look a healthy shape, not too skinny not too fat.

[Orbert]

A handsome, talented guy friend of mine (who could get any girl) is going out with an average-looking girl but values inside qualities over everything in a partner. What about you?

Sarah, are you asking what attracts guys to a girl, or what guys are looking for in an actual relationship?  Because they are two different things.  Certainly there are certain physical types that guys find attractive, and every guy has his own taste.  But those of us with IQs above room temperature are looking for more than "OMG TITS!!" Maybe for a one-night stand, but for a relationship, there has to be compatibility.

It's just a fact that the first thing a guy notices is physical attributes.  What else does he have to go on?  But I think girls overestimate the "standards" that guys have.  In my experience, most guys find most girls at least moderately attractive.  A nice smile and not being grossly overweight/underweight, and you're in.  Seriously, unless you're downright ugly (which you are not) then guys will talk to you, get you a drink, etc.  From there, it's the personality that will get you to the finish line.  If he's gonna get serious, he's going to be attracted to your personality, not your looks.

[True Death of Life]

I want to sleep with hot girls.

I want to spend my time around girls with sunny personalities, personal drive, great senses of humor, and a fair share of intelligence.

Obviously, I'm going to pick the second girl for a long term relationship (But if she's easy on the eyes, that's all the better for me).

This actually really makes a lot of sense...

To be honest, the fact that you think (or thought) girls generally go for personality and guys generally go for looks shows how young you are. A lot of people from both genders are like one or the other, but once you get past high school age I've not noticed any trend one way or the other. Some people are shallow, others aren't.

So don't generalise about men kthxbye.

Sorry mang, I thought I covered this in the OP

Maybe it's just the girls and guys I hang out with, but this is the message that's constantly being thrown at me. I have very limited experience otherwise.

[AcidLameLTE]

I like girls that look a healthy shape, not too skinny not too fat.

I guess this would be closer to what I meant to say.

[True Death of Life]

A handsome, talented guy friend of mine (who could get any girl) is going out with an average-looking girl but values inside qualities over everything in a partner. What about you?

Sarah, are you asking what attracts guys to a girl, or what guys are looking for in an actual relationship?  Because they are two different things.  Certainly there are certain physical types that guys find attractive, and every guy has his own taste.  But those of us with IQs above room temperature are looking for more than "OMG TITS!!" Maybe for a one-night stand, but for a relationship, there has to be compatibility.

It's just a fact that the first thing a guy notices is physical attributes.  What else does he have to go on?  But I think girls overestimate the "standards" that guys have.  In my experience, most guys find most girls at least moderately attractive.  A nice smile and not being grossly overweight/underweight, and you're in.  Seriously, unless you're downright ugly (which you are not) then guys will talk to you, get you a drink, etc.  From there, it's the personality that will get you to the finish line.  If he's gonna get serious, he's going to be attracted to your personality, not your looks.

I guess I was was asking both...honestly, a lot of these posts have cleared up a lot of things for me. I see really awful relationships that should NOT last as long as they do-- it's all physical attraction -- and, for multiple reasons, I find myself thinking that maybe I'm just being stuck-up and this is what guys really want from a relationship.

[Orbert]

As has been said, there are shallow people of both genders, and also people who are looking for something deeper.  A lot of it depends on the maturity level of both parties, which not surprisingly is correlated with age, but not entirely.

Ask the average 20-something or college student what they're looking for, and you'll get completely different answers from 30-somethings or 40-somethings.  You could say that we've become jaded or more cynical or something, having figured out that we're not going to marry a supermodel or having gotten burned too many times, but that's just the extremely ugly part of growing up and gaining some experience.  It really is what lies beneath the surface that matters, and we've figured that out.  Younger folks are just looking for hot bodies to bang and think that if they came home to that every night, then their lives will be complete.  Yeah, right.  And you'll magically learn to get along and have the same interests and friends and like the same movies and music.  Sure, that happens a small percentage of the time, but in general, personality and compatibility wins.

[SPNKr]

I want to sleep with a girl, not to have sex with but just to sleep with and see how that goes ya know..?


This is a good question because I've been exploring these aspects of certain women (or a certain woman I know ) and it can be very interesting.

[Kura]

B. He's a girl's dream: good-looking (he looks just like Prince), smart, and a musical prodigy (including singing), so
C. he could really get any girl he wanted. He is currently dating a girl who is not ugly, but not very attractive, but has the most enthusiastic, loving personality ever and he loves her very much.

B: So why are those qualities considered to be a "dream" to women? I know I value loyalty, generosity, ambition, and understanding WAY higher than just the fact that someone can be good with music.
C: Who are outsiders in a relationship to judge what's "ugly but not attractive"? That's the problem right there. Society isn't just media deeming what is supposed to look "good", it's everyday people.

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

B. He's a girl's dream: good-looking (he looks just like Prince), smart, and a musical prodigy (including singing), so
C. he could really get any girl he wanted. He is currently dating a girl who is not ugly, but not very attractive, but has the most enthusiastic, loving personality ever and he loves her very much.

B: So why are those qualities considered to be a "dream" to women? I know I value loyalty, generosity, ambition, and understanding WAY higher than just the fact that someone can be good with music.
C: Who are outsiders in a relationship to judge what's "ugly but not attractive"? That's the problem right there. Society isn't just media deeming what is supposed to look "good", it's everyday people.

Also, is Prince really that attractive?

[Kura]

B. He's a girl's dream: good-looking (he looks just like Prince), smart, and a musical prodigy (including singing), so
C. he could really get any girl he wanted. He is currently dating a girl who is not ugly, but not very attractive, but has the most enthusiastic, loving personality ever and he loves her very much.

B: So why are those qualities considered to be a "dream" to women? I know I value loyalty, generosity, ambition, and understanding WAY higher than just the fact that someone can be good with music.
C: Who are outsiders in a relationship to judge what's "ugly but not attractive"? That's the problem right there. Society isn't just media deeming what is supposed to look "good", it's everyday people.

Also, is Prince really that attractive?

Depends on who you ask- different people have different tastes.

[kala1928]

I thought about posting a reply then realized OP is 15.

So there.

[AcidLameLTE]

Charming.

[zxlkho]

I thought about posting a reply then realized OP is 15.

So there.

[ClairvoyantCat]

I don't really have specific preferences for girls... mostly with some it just all comes together.  They can have different features, or whatever. 


Anyway, I don't think most girls are really struggling to change their appearance or feel constantly under pressure from society.  At least not most of the ones I know.  That point is often sensationalized. 

[MetalManiac666]

I doubt many, if any, men on a nerdy prog forum would fess up to valuing physicality over personality.

Truth.

[TheOutlawXanadu]

For most guys, the #1 thing is looks so far as immediate attraction goes. But there are a lot of people in the world. There aren't as many guys who value personality over looks as there are guys who value looks over personality, but there are still tons of both.

[zxlkho]

I doubt many, if any, men on a nerdy prog forum would fess up to valuing physicality over personality.

Truth.

/thread

[True Death of Life]

B. He's a girl's dream: good-looking (he looks just like Prince), smart, and a musical prodigy (including singing), so
C. he could really get any girl he wanted. He is currently dating a girl who is not ugly, but not very attractive, but has the most enthusiastic, loving personality ever and he loves her very much.

B: So why are those qualities considered to be a "dream" to women? I know I value loyalty, generosity, ambition, and understanding WAY higher than just the fact that someone can be good with music.
C: Who are outsiders in a relationship to judge what's "ugly but not attractive"? That's the problem right there. Society isn't just media deeming what is supposed to look "good", it's everyday people.

I meant at a first glance. Him being a musical prodigy is part of his reputation.

Look, everyone's a hypocrite...I never once said, "I am free of these stereotypes." But, as a 100% straight, 100% human being, I am judging her looks. Like j said earlier,

I can GUARANTEE you, that no matter what a girl looks like (except for extreme cases, probably ), there are plenty of guys out there who will think she's gorgeous.

. I agree with and understand this entirely; but by me saying she was not particularly attractive nor particularly ugly was me stating she was perfectly average-looking to the majority of the public and that this surprised me because there are many beautiful girls (this is not just an assumption) at my school who are head-over-heels for him; and I'm pretty sure he knows this.

I thought about posting a reply then realized OP is 15.

So there.

Thank you, letters

I'm really sorry that that made you refrain from posting. Any particular reasons why?

[SPNKr]

I thought about posting a reply then realized OP is 15.

So there.

That's barely a decent excuse. You can learn from all of the responses so far, at least.
Pretend she's not 15.

edit time: Henry Rollins once said "someone out there in the world thinks you're hot! Anything about you will be hot to someone."

[Ravenheart]

I don't think anyone would readily fess up to preferring looks over personality. It's not really the nicest quality to have  

I'd say my ratio of female friends to male friends is actually a lot higher on the female side these days, which is weird, since for most of my life, girls didn't want to have anything to do with me.