What attracts guys to a girl?

[True Death of Life]

I'm sorry if I offend any females by making this thread directed towards men only, but I've noticed that most females are attracted to a man more by their personality than looks/women aren't as picky about physicality (I understand that this is not always true, however).

The reason I am so curious is that, a few days ago, a guy friend of mine was saying how he hates that girls feel that they have to be "skinny" to be pretty. "I like girls with some meat on them!" he said, shaking his head.

He then launched into a rant, saying that society is ruining beauty: telling girls with small boobs to either slim down or get plastic surgery, telling heavier girls to diet and wear loose clothing, and generally just setting "rules" for attractiveness. "It's so hard to find a genuinely happy, confident girl because of all that shit," he said, "and that's what makes them most attractive."

The reasons this hit me so hard are
A. He's known for being extremely--but not cruelly--honest
B. He's a girl's dream: good-looking (he looks just like Prince), smart, and a musical prodigy (including singing), so
C. he could really get any girl he wanted. He is currently dating a girl who is not ugly, but not very attractive, but has the most enthusiastic, loving personality ever and he loves her very much.

This gave me a lot of hope and made me wonder; are all the messages girls get from society really wrong? (Don't worry about offending me if you're not like my friend; I want honesty here and that's the 1st time I had heard that.)



tl;dr: A handsome, talented guy friend of mine (who could get any girl) is going out with an average-looking girl but values inside qualities over everything in a partner. What about you?

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

He then launched into a rant, saying that society is ruining beauty: telling girls with small boobs to either slim down or get plastic surgery, telling heavier girls to diet and wear loose clothing, and generally just setting "rules" for attractiveness. "It's so hard to find a genuinely happy, confident girl because of all that shit," he said, "and that's what makes them most attractive."

Your friend sounds like a smart guy.

I'm a personality guy, really. Although there is some physicality in the mix.

[True Death of Life]

Do the physicality bits agree with society?

[ZBomber]

I'm a personality guy, really. Although there is some physicality in the mix.

This. Honestly, a girl's personality is almost everything for me.

As for physically... I've never cared about body type. I've dated a girl who was bigger than me (that's not hard, I'm a fucking twig) who had huge boobs, and I've dated a girl who was even skinnier than me and had small boobs. I guess the only thing that physically attracts me to someone is a face...so I guess my only physical requirement is a cute face.  Again, personality really is the most important thing, for men or women. Of course, you still need to be attracted to the person you're seeing...

[Ravenheart]

I'm pretty shallow. I go for solely for looks.








No I'm kidding. Personality > looks, but I think any guy would be lying if he said that good-looking girls don't demand more attention from him when he first meets them, though that can immediately change if the girl turns out to be a bitch. Some of the most physically attractive girls I've met are incredibly shallow and self-centered, and impossible to have a semi-intelligent conversation with. But I've met plenty of "not so attractive" girls that fall under that description as well. My best friend is both extremely beautiful (to me, at least) and very smart. She's lucky.

I've personally never been attracted to one specific body type. I might find some more attractive than others, but I've never felt gravitated towards only one.

Above all, though, I think personality typically rules over looks, whether or not the guys consciously sense it.

[King Postwhore]

What first attracted me to my wife was her physical features.  What makes a relationship last is you gravitate to the other features.  My wife is gracious, strong willed, caring.  Always putting others needs ahead of her own.  She laughs at my silly jokes and I can say anything to her.  These are the true things that make a real relationship.

[lonestar]

Initial attractors to me are eyes and a nice smile, and the smile usually is an indicator(but not always) of a personality that I will grow with.  A nice body never hurts either, but I am not attracted to any specific type.  Skinny, thick, short, tall, they all are nice to me.  Needless to say, I appreciate the female form in general.

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

As for physically... I've never cared about body type. I've dated a girl who was bigger than me (that's not hard, I'm a fucking twig) who had huge boobs, and I've dated a girl who was even skinnier than me and had small boobs. I guess the only thing that physically attracts me to someone is a face...so I guess my only physical requirement is a cute face.  Again, personality really is the most important thing, for men or women. Of course, you still need to be attracted to the person you're seeing...

Haha, exactly this. Also, I guess I sorta have a thing for goths too.

[Implode]

What first attracted me to my wife was her physical features.  What makes a relationship last is you gravitate to the other features.

I agree with this. I don't really believe in love at first sight. You could see a girl, find her very attractive, and then get to know her and fall in love with her personality. Physical aspects might be the first thing I notice, but it's nowhere near the most important thing in a significant other.

[wolfking]

It's gotta be a mixture of both IMO.  I agree, I'm not overly fond of super skinny girls, I LOVE curves.  I am always more attracted to women with beautiful curves, not overweight, just that in between stage.  You gotta like thier personality too for any chance at a relationship.  But at the same time, people in general shouldn't slim down just to look good, it should be for their health and lifestyle. 

[sonatafanica]

To be honest, there are some physical factors that come into play in how attracted I am to a girl. They're not so much things I prefer rather than what I don't prefer. So I'm not picky in that sense as there's a pretty wide range of what I find attractive inside that gamut. Faces are really the most attractive to me.

But as far as personality goes, I am so surrounded by boring, characterless people all the time that whenever I come across a girl who actually has some god damn substance to them as a human being, the amount of attraction soars.



And as long as we're on appearances, I'm usually not too concerned about mine, but the other day I took a look in the mirror as if I were someone else and realized that I look like a crazy person because I never sleep, my hair is perpetually messy, and there are usually splashes of ink across my hands  

[Sigz]

Physical attraction is part of any relationship. There are times you may not initially be attracted to someone but as you get to know them and like them you'll find them more attractive, but in most cases in the dating world the initial attraction is what gets you interested in the person.

That said, personality is a much more important factor in the end. As said above, I may not initially be that attracted to someone, but my entire perspective can change if our chemistry is right. That relationship goes both ways too - I may see some girl who I find really cute, but after meeting her her personality totally kills it, and I can't even really look at her as being that good looking afterwards.

As far as society's standards on what's attractive, they're pretty much bullshit as far as I'm concerned.

[antigoon]

Do the physicality bits agree with society?

In a general sense, yeah. But i think when it comes to physicality, a lot of people have a certain type they're attracted to.

[ZBomber]

As for the message that society is giving girls... I don't know. It's hard to say. Certainly, that message is not the ONLY way to be. Personally, I don't find the "typical attractive woman" that good looking. It looks too.... fake for me. I much prefer someone who has natural beauty... not someone who tries to change themselves to fit some kind of mold.

You shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone. If you are happy with your appearance, then that should be enough, it doesn't matter what society tells you is attractive and what isn't. There are plenty of men out there who appreciate a woman for who and what she really is.

[Nick]

Well, I look at it this way, a highly compatible personality is the most important thing I'm looking for in a woman, but if she physically isn't acceptable to me I know the relationship won't stand a chance.

That said I don't really care if a girl has big breasts or not, I generally like a girl of a healthy weight with a good looking body. So my goal is to find a woman who I find attractive that I also mesh with really well.

[HarlequinForest]

I doubt many, if any, men on a nerdy prog forum would fess up to valuing physicality over personality.

As far as your question

are all the messages girls get from society really wrong?

No benefits are had from the pressure/stress, eating disorders, plastic surgery, etc. induced by trying to maintain a certain image.  If there are no positives but many negatives, I'd say it's wrong.

[El Barto]

I agree that society in general has some screwed up taste.  The emphasis on being scrawny with giant tits is fairly disturbing.

As for my personal tastes, I give quite a bit of leeway as long as we stay inside the extremes.  I really don't have a type.  As long as somebody isn't disturbing to look at, it's all good.

[Nick]

Oh, and while I'm playing the shallow dick card a little bit, I have a bit of a rant I'd like to go on.

Girls that are very obese should NOT be told to love their body and that if that's who they are then it's alright. Obesity is the biggest preventable health risk in this country, and should be no more accepted than smoking. I'm not saying you should go around telling fat people to diet, but there is certainly no reason to support an unhealthy lifestyle. I am very thankful I had parents who scrutinized me regularly for my weight, without them doing that I would never have lost 70 lbs and become a much healthier, happier person because of it.

And let's face simple facts, losing weight (to a healthy reasonable point) is win-win-win, you are healthier, you are more self-confident, and you become more desirable to society, and by that I don't just mean for relationships, but studies have shown that for better or worse non-obese people have a better shot at things like jobs and promotions.

*flameshield on*

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

I want to sleep with hot girls.

I want to spend my time around girls with sunny personalities, personal drive, great senses of humor, and a fair share of intelligence.

Obviously, I'm going to pick the second girl for a long term relationship (But if she's easy on the eyes, that's all the better for me).

[jsem]

However, one must remember that this forum is not a median of the general population. This is a prog forum.






Personality means more to me than the looks. If a girl looks really good but doesn't have the personality I wouldn't be able to connect with her on any level. If the personality is really good though, the looks aren't really that important. (they can't look awful and hideous though, I have some standards.. lal)

[Ravenheart]

Oh, and while I'm playing the shallow dick card a little bit, I have a bit of a rant I'd like to go on.

Girls that are very obese should NOT be told to love their body and that if that's who they are then it's alright. Obesity is the biggest preventable health risk in this country, and should be no more accepted than smoking. I'm not saying you should go around telling fat people to diet, but there is certainly no reason to support an unhealthy lifestyle.

Eh, anyone who disagrees with you on this needs to open up their eyes. If you love your obese body, get ready to endure all of the terrible hardships and limitless dilemmas that come with that sort of a lifestyle.

[KevShmev]

Oh, and while I'm playing the shallow dick card a little bit, I have a bit of a rant I'd like to go on.

Girls that are very obese should NOT be told to love their body and that if that's who they are then it's alright. Obesity is the biggest preventable health risk in this country, and should be no more accepted than smoking. I'm not saying you should go around telling fat people to diet, but there is certainly no reason to support an unhealthy lifestyle. I am very thankful I had parents who scrutinized me regularly for my weight, without them doing that I would never have lost 70 lbs and become a much healthier, happier person because of it.

And let's face simple facts, losing weight (to a healthy reasonable point) is win-win-win, you are healthier, you are more self-confident, and you become more desirable to society, and by that I don't just mean for relationships, but studies have shown that for better or worse non-obese people have a better shot at things like jobs and promotions.

*flameshield on*

Saying all of that makes you neither shallow nor a dick; it makes you a truth-teller.  Sadly, being obese is almost the norm nowadays.

[Jamesman42]

Oh, and while I'm playing the shallow dick card a little bit, I have a bit of a rant I'd like to go on.

Girls that are very obese should NOT be told to love their body and that if that's who they are then it's alright. Obesity is the biggest preventable health risk in this country, and should be no more accepted than smoking. I'm not saying you should go around telling fat people to diet, but there is certainly no reason to support an unhealthy lifestyle. I am very thankful I had parents who scrutinized me regularly for my weight, without them doing that I would never have lost 70 lbs and become a much healthier, happier person because of it.

And let's face simple facts, losing weight (to a healthy reasonable point) is win-win-win, you are healthier, you are more self-confident, and you become more desirable to society, and by that I don't just mean for relationships, but studies have shown that for better or worse non-obese people have a better shot at things like jobs and promotions.

*flameshield on*

Fat-bottomed girls make the rocking world go round dawg

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

Yes, but Freddy Mercury was gay. Without fat girls, he'd have no hags, and if there's one thing gays love, it's their hags.

[jsem]

He was talking about obese chicks.

Seriously. Obesity is repulsive. People should stop gettin so fat.

[King Postwhore]

I want to sleep with hot girls.

You should just live vicariously through DarkLord_Lalinc.  

[ZBomber]

Yes, but Freddy Mercury was gay. Without fat girls, he'd have no hags, and if there's one thing gays love, it's their hags.

Brian May wrote Fat Bottomed Girls

TAKE THAT!

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

Yes, but Freddy Mercury was gay. Without fat girls, he'd have no hags, and if there's one thing gays love, it's their hags.

Brian May wrote Fat Bottomed Girls

TAKE THAT!

Like I said, if there's one thing Mays love, it's their hags.

[Jamesman42]

I was born in May...does that mean I like men?

[Nick]

Sure does.

[LeeHarveyKennedy]

I was born in May...does that mean I like men?

No. What you did to me last night means you like men.

[Jamesman42]

Sorry Nick, but even then you have no chance with me

[ZBomber]

 

DTF - Turning serious into FUN!

[Jamesman42]

Turning straight into curves

[jsem]

I miss jackie in this thread