Best Self-Bans Ever?

[Sigz]

On that topic: https://www.theonion.com/articles/japan-pledges-to-halt-production-of-weirdo-porn-th,2657/

[dethklok09]

I searched it up. I went and grabbed the lotion.

[CountVoorhees]

[lonestar]

I remember Arcaeus' ban.  What he posted was a pic of an actual black bosc pear, which happens to look like a big woody johnson(google image it, it's like the third pic, I won't post it here for obvious reasons).  His mistake was the thread title, Bosk's favorite food.

[dethklok09]

You sir just do not understand.

[Arch Benemy]

I can't find the thread or remember the user, but my favourite was the guy who told BlobVanDam that he was 'the load his mother should have swallowed' and then asked to be removed from the forum, along with a load of  

[Nihil-Morari]

Ah yes, that guy.

[MetalManiac666]

I can't find the thread or remember the user, but my favourite was the guy who told BlobVanDam that he was 'the load his mother should have swallowed' and then asked to be removed from the forum, along with a load of 

[Ħ]

At this old forum I went to, every time someone wanted to ban themselves, there was only one way to go: The porn post. They'd max out the length of a post with links to porn sites, images, videos, whatever. They'd also include forum memes that had gotten annoying to the point of an insta-ban (ASCII of Mario riding Yoshi, long story), and they'd get around the language filter (FLICK in the thread title and the like). They were legendary, if a little stupid. But, hey, porn, that's always nice.
 

LUE, right? And the legendary LUEshi?

I remember back on another GameFAQs board, someone tried to account suicide. Posted a single link to a picture containing nudity. Not even exactly porn. The topic reached the post limit of 500. Someone else in the topic was banned for one of their posts in the thread. But the OP got maybe a suspension at most.

I think I know what you're talking about.  Was that the one with Samus?

[Progmetty]

First time I hear of that Janet fellow, what he do?

[Ħ]

First time I hear of that Janet fellow, what he do?

About 20 spam threads when no mods were online.

[TheMadgician]

At this old forum I went to, every time someone wanted to ban themselves, there was only one way to go: The porn post. They'd max out the length of a post with links to porn sites, images, videos, whatever. They'd also include forum memes that had gotten annoying to the point of an insta-ban (ASCII of Mario riding Yoshi, long story), and they'd get around the language filter (FLICK in the thread title and the like). They were legendary, if a little stupid. But, hey, porn, that's always nice.
 

LUE, right? And the legendary LUEshi?

I remember back on another GameFAQs board, someone tried to account suicide. Posted a single link to a picture containing nudity. Not even exactly porn. The topic reached the post limit of 500. Someone else in the topic was banned for one of their posts in the thread. But the OP got maybe a suspension at most.

I think I know what you're talking about.  Was that the one with Samus?

Jeez, it's been at least 4 years or so. Maybe 5, I can't remember all that well. It happened on PotD, that's about as detailed as I remember.

[Adami]

First time I hear of that Janet fellow, what he do?

About 20 spam threads when no mods were online.

I assume they were all deleted or something?

[SPNKr]

First time I hear of that Janet fellow, what he do?

About 20 spam threads when no mods were online.

I assume they were all deleted or something?

They gone, looks it.
They "should" implement the one post per 30 seconds rule. I've seen it on other forums before and even if it doesn't do much, it helps at least a bit.

[Ħ]

At this old forum I went to, every time someone wanted to ban themselves, there was only one way to go: The porn post. They'd max out the length of a post with links to porn sites, images, videos, whatever. They'd also include forum memes that had gotten annoying to the point of an insta-ban (ASCII of Mario riding Yoshi, long story), and they'd get around the language filter (FLICK in the thread title and the like). They were legendary, if a little stupid. But, hey, porn, that's always nice.
 

LUE, right? And the legendary LUEshi?

I remember back on another GameFAQs board, someone tried to account suicide. Posted a single link to a picture containing nudity. Not even exactly porn. The topic reached the post limit of 500. Someone else in the topic was banned for one of their posts in the thread. But the OP got maybe a suspension at most.

I think I know what you're talking about.  Was that the one with Samus?

Jeez, it's been at least 4 years or so. Maybe 5, I can't remember all that well. It happened on PotD, that's about as detailed as I remember.

Oh ok.  I think it's two different occasions we're talking about.  For me, someone one the Super Smash Bros Brawl board posted a nude portrait of Samus in a fountain and it hit about 500 posts in ten minutes.

[TheMadgician]

At this old forum I went to, every time someone wanted to ban themselves, there was only one way to go: The porn post. They'd max out the length of a post with links to porn sites, images, videos, whatever. They'd also include forum memes that had gotten annoying to the point of an insta-ban (ASCII of Mario riding Yoshi, long story), and they'd get around the language filter (FLICK in the thread title and the like). They were legendary, if a little stupid. But, hey, porn, that's always nice.
 

LUE, right? And the legendary LUEshi?

I remember back on another GameFAQs board, someone tried to account suicide. Posted a single link to a picture containing nudity. Not even exactly porn. The topic reached the post limit of 500. Someone else in the topic was banned for one of their posts in the thread. But the OP got maybe a suspension at most.

I think I know what you're talking about.  Was that the one with Samus?

Jeez, it's been at least 4 years or so. Maybe 5, I can't remember all that well. It happened on PotD, that's about as detailed as I remember.

Oh ok.  I think it's two different occasions we're talking about.  For me, someone one the Super Smash Bros Brawl board posted a nude portrait of Samus in a fountain and it hit about 500 posts in ten minutes.

PotD one took like, a few hours at least. Which made it more spectacular, really. It was up for awhile and the mods didn't do shit to the attempted account suicide post and instead took out other posters. Such a glorious failure.

[juice]

On another forum for a christian band there was one guy who provided lulz periodically and became one of the main people who answered for the athiests in the political/religious board.  Some stuff happend and the mods gave him some slack about some of the stuff he did for lulz.  He ended up getting mad and made a thread and put porn in it and changed his sig to a gif of a dog getting beaten with a shovel.  It was similar to what happend at PC's forum where the forum was divided and half left to join his new forum and the other half decided to stick around.  But ever since that there's been very little action going on there because it was a relatively small forum before everyone left.

[Orbert]

This was always my favorite: https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=5033.msg151242#msg151242

I could never figure that guy out.  Spammed the place with his bad photography and ugly models.  Got banned.  Came back with a different account and spammed the place with his bad photography and ugly models.  Rinse and repeat.  IIRC, every time he did it, people had no problem telling him how ugly the models were, because they so bad, but he defended his work relentlessly and insisted that they were great because they were professional models.

Everyone has different taste, and none of that would have been so bad if he hadn't also gotten seriously offended and defensive every time.  Started talking shit, calling people out, and damn, anyone with half a brain would've just stopped doing it.  But he kept doing it.  I guess somewhere in there we were also supposed to be impressed by his photography, which was mediocre at best, and seemed to specialize in ugly models.

I didn't read the thread, but it sounds like mball?

Yep, that was him.  We figured it was almost certainly him by the posting style, photographic style, and taste in ugly models.  I know I keep saying that, and it's mean to the girls, but seriously, everyone thought it and many said it.

[orcus116]

I'm a little proud of DarkMasterOfSin only because of my personal involvement.

[Orbert]

Details?

Actually, people should post summaries anyway, as not everyone knows all the details or was around at the time, and it's always good for a laugh.

[Jamesman42]

I can't find the thread or remember the user, but my favourite was the guy who told BlobVanDam that he was 'the load his mother should have swallowed' and then asked to be removed from the forum, along with a load of 

YES

[Dublagent66]

Well, whatever I missed, I'm glad I didn't miss this.  Thanks Hef.  You're a model mod. 

I AM A GUY

You're a fucking stupid bitch.

[Chino]

I have gotten a permaban and a one week ban. The first time (the permaban), my buddy got on my computer at school. Knowing how much I love these boards, he got on and started saying all kinds of this about the band and the boards. He never used a message board before, and wasn't even aware there were mods. The second time is a little less believable, but it's true. The same guy that got me banned last time, made an account of his own. His username was Beeno or Beano, I don't remember. Anyway, he created this over a year ago and never posted on it I guess. He waited patiently for months, waiting for me to forget to log off his computer. He then decided to post from both accounts, in the same thread. I got a one week for duplicate accounts.

[hefdaddy42]

Well, whatever I missed, I'm glad I didn't miss this.  Thanks Hef.  You're a model mod. 

I AM A GUY

You're a fucking stupid bitch.

Sorry, I was somewhat out of sorts by then.  I should probably be given a temp ban or something.

[Dimitrius]

The second time is a little less believable, but it's true. The same guy that got me banned last time, made an account of his own. His username was Beeno or Beano, I don't remember. Anyway, he created this over a year ago and never posted on it I guess. He waited patiently for months, waiting for me to forget to log off his computer. He then decided to post from both accounts, in the same thread. I got a one week for duplicate accounts.

I remember this.

[lonestar]

Well, whatever I missed, I'm glad I didn't miss this.  Thanks Hef.  You're a model mod. 

I AM A GUY

You're a fucking stupid bitch.

Sorry, I was somewhat out of sorts by then.  I should probably be given a temp ban or something.

Na, it is moments like that that make us appreciate you so much Hef, your little bits of brutal honesty.

[CountVoorhees]

Looks like you got a little brown sauce on your nose, Lonestar.

[lonestar]

Looks like you got a little brown sauce on your nose, Lonestar.

Actually, it's something like I would have said.

[CountVoorhees]

I thought you might have liked the whole food-type reference.

[lonestar]

I thought you might have liked the whole food-type reference.

It's kinda hard to read any post of yours with those sweater puppets in your sig.

[King Postwhore]

He's like to spread his alfredo sauce all over those sweater puppets.  Man that was easy.

[CountVoorhees]

I thought you might have liked the whole food-type reference.

It's kinda hard to read any post of yours with those sweater puppets in your sig.

Yeah, that happens.

[orcus116]

Details?

Actually, people should post summaries anyway, as not everyone knows all the details or was around at the time, and it's always good for a laugh.

The thread is probably out there somewhere but I'm too lazy to find it. The gist was DMOS created another thread about I think it was some girl or something, who knows, and was treating this place like LiveJournal. Nearly everyone was getting fed up and told him they didn't really care and he snapped back pretty viciously. I don't even really remember what I said but I'm fairly sure I was just speaking in line with the crowd and he went off on this beautifully profanity laden outburst directly at me for I'm guessing some hidden personal grudge. I'm pretty sure the words "fucking opinionated asshole" came into play once or twice. It was quite hilarious actually.

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

Haha here it is:

https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=16797.msg603699#msg603699

[Jamesman42]

I can't wait to tell Orcus off like that once I don't care if I get permabanned or not.

Watch out Orcus