Charlie Sheen: I'm Sick of Sitting Around and Pretending my Life Isn't Perfect.

[ReaPsTA]

Ho boy.  Listen here:

https://www.wwtdd.com/2011/02/charlie-sheen-got-high-and-called-alex-jones-today/

Or read the highlights here:

https://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2011/02/charlie-sheen-aint-care

I think when he was talking about Warlock assassins he actually was joking, but otherwise this whole thing is insane.

Perhaps the best part is when he said he will either love or hate you violently.  I wish Alex Jones had gone for the obvious joke:

Sheen "If I love you, I will love you violently."
Jones "You mean rape them?"

Actually I take that back.  Nothing will ever top "I'm an F-18 bro."  I can't even think about it without laughing.

[Fluffy Lothario]

If Sheen doesn't have a meme based around him already, I'd be very surprised if he doesn't by the end of the week.

I mean, the guy's practically caught hilarious-quote-salmonella.

[ClairvoyantCat]

Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bullshit! I cured it with my brain, with my mind.

[antigoon]

That was priceless. I'm an F-18, bro!

[DarkEternalNight]

I think I'm the only person that thinks he's fucking awesome.

[skydivingninja]

 

That was hilarious.  At least he's not threatening to get cops to kill his wife this time...

[Big Crouton]

I think I'm the only person that thinks he's fucking awesome.

Well, clearly he does too, so you're not alone.

[Bombardana]

"I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows ... I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong."

  AWESSOMMMEE

[ClairvoyantCat]

If I were that famous I would act this way just for the fun of it too! 




The man is fucking hilarious.

[ReaPsTA]

https://www.tmz.com/2011/02/24/charlie-sheen-chuck-lorre-two-and-a-half-men-war-show-bahamas-octagon/

He wants to fight Chuck Lorre too, the guy that created the show.  Apparently Sheen thinks he owns it.

Perhaps obviously, CBS has shut down production.

[Pyroph]

Yeah, thank god, now we can all join him drinking in celebration!

[Jamesman42]

i dont know why (well, too muc wine) but im laughing my butt off thinking about outlandish quotes and celebrities and it's funyn

[ReaPsTA]

Sheen's response to the hold on production:

What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows ... I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.
 
Remember these are my people ... not yours...we will continue on together...
 
Charlie Sheen

Well then.  If Two and a Half Men is canceled, can someone please give Charlie a reality show?

[Dimitrius]

This is pure gold!

[Marvellous G]

I think I'm the only person that thinks he's fucking awesome.

Well, clearly he does too, so you're not alone.

[El Barto]

I'm kinda torn on the guy.  On the one hand, he seems to be a real jackass.  He thinks he's more powerful than the people who employ him and that almost never works out well.  His antics will cost plenty of people who relied on him their livelihood, as well.  He'd really be best served by keeping his damn mouth shut. 

On the other hand, he seems to be doing exactly what he wants to with his life.  Mainly doing blow and banging porn stars.  I can think of many much less rewarding lifestyles.  And, unlike the majority of people, he's not the slightest bit embarrassed or ashamed about it.   He's not doing anything egregious or evil.  I say more power to him. 

Now to be clear, I don't approve of how he's doing this, I just have no problem with what he's doing.  Personally, I'd be playing the game quite a bit different then he is.  There's no reason to be so antagonistic and the amount of cola he's doing is going to kill him very quickly.  I'd love to be able to lead a life with of such wretched excess, but I think I'd manage my debauchery a whole lot better than he is. 

[ClairvoyantCat]

I'd love to be able to lead a life with of such wretched excess, but I think I'd manage my debauchery a whole lot better than he is. 

I don't think he even tries to manage his debauchery.  I mean, one day he is going to end up dead from all the drugs or a washed up used-to be celebrity confined to late-night talk shows and older comeback attempts, but I don't think he's really a think-ahead kind of guy.  The reason I like him is because, with all of the other celebrities constantly wearing a mask and pretending to be much less ignorant and debaucherous and immoral than they are, he's almost a breath of fucked up fresh air in a way. 

[tjanuranus]

I think I'm the only person that thinks he's fucking awesome.

He's awesome if threatening to kill your wife with a knife is awesome. Honestly i have NO idea how this guy has a career after the trouble he's been in.

[millahh]

I'll give him this:  he introduced me to the idea that one can be a social crack-user.

[King Postwhore]

In the words of Charlie Sheen, "Win".

[ReaPsTA]

I think I'm the only person that thinks he's fucking awesome.

He's awesome if threatening to kill your wife with a knife is awesome. Honestly i have NO idea how this guy has a career after the trouble he's been in.

He makes money on TV and they want money.  Notice how he hasn't had a huge movie career really because he's not a huge box office draw.

[King Postwhore]

He was vey good in Spin City which was a catalist for him to do this show.

Besides, would you say the same about Robert Downey Jr?  Think if he was never given a chance again.

[Progmetty]

I think I'm the only person that thinks he's fucking awesome.

THANK YOU!
Recalling an old El Barto wisdom when I asked why does Tiger Woods give a flying fuck what people think of him personally and why people give a flying fuck what he does in his private life, El Barto said it was because we have turned into this crying apologetic Oprah-influenced society.
All I need to know about Sheen is that he was hilarious in the Hot Shots movies, he could rape pigs in his spare time for all I care.

[Dr. DTVT]

That was the most insane ramble I ever heard.  Listening to it has got to be the guiltiest pleasure ever...and its fat free and zero calories.

[orcus116]

He wants to fight Chuck Lorre too, the guy that created the show.  Apparently Sheen thinks he owns it.

Considering he is one of the titular characters, he kinda does.

[TempusVox]

[Fluffy Lothario]

Honestly i have NO idea how this guy has a career after the trouble he's been in.

Most of his recent career has been a playful reference on that real life persona. On Spin City, he was Charlie Crawford, and on Two and a Half Men Charlie Harper. Both roles were to some extent just tamed down, TV-cutified versions of who he really is. He's kept a career because he's been cleverly put into roles that acknowledge who he is and make light of it, which I think softens the blow when news of his real-life antics gets out unless it's really serious. People just think, "oh well, that's Charlie". And considering that, as el Barto said, there are a lot of people who could think of worse lifestyles than his, it actually appeals to a sizeable audience.

[El JoNNo]

  I just made a Warlock|Assassin Hybrid D&D character yesterday...

[skydivingninja]

So apparently the vatican assassin/warlock assassin thing was an inside joke between Charlie, Alex Jones, and a baseball player.  I mean, it still doesn't make any freaking sense, but that bit wasn't completely random.  I'm not sure why I listened to the whole twenty minutes rather than out of morbid curiosity.  It was pretty hilarious how during the whole thing they're like "oh man the mainstream media's going to spin this," like everything was a big joke that they were in on.  If it weren't for the whole insulting Chuck Lorre thing it might've just been a hilarious, Kanye-like rant moment, but now its cost him his job.  Oh well.

A side note for anyone who's played GTA4: doesn't he sound like Brucie whenever he talks about winning? 

[TheOutlawXanadu]

Sometimes I can't help but think that I would love to be Charlie Sheen. Not because I would love to do what he does, but because he doesn't seem to have a worry in the world. He doesn't bang porn stars and strippers then ask, "What kind of effect will this have on my children?" He just goes and does it. And he never gets stressed about it.

It's 100% wrong, sure. But it's probably easier than actually, you know, being caring and competent.

[King Postwhore]

A side note for anyone who's played GTA4: doesn't he sound like Brucie whenever he talks about winning? 

He sounds like Jim Rome to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfjwTtxdmac

[Dr. DTVT]

[Sigz]

I think 2 and a half men is a pretty cool guy, eh does cocaine and screws porn stars and doesn't afraid of anything.

[King Postwhore]

Imagine playing yourself.  Drugging, whoring, drinking and getting paid for it?!  Who's the fool.

[Nick]

This interview may represent the best use of 18 minutes in my life ever.