THE Tool Thread

[TioJorge]

Mofos need to just chill and let the boys do their thing. It's pretty fuckin' clear that nothing is gonna happen anytime soon. What with Maynard attempting to move things forward and the others kind of twiddling their thumbs...it's best to just forget it and have a happy surprise when they either announce something or it randomly releases. I find that keeping tabs on bands that take their sweet time is just self torture.

Quite frankly it's at their own leisure. I'd rather wait years and years for an album than to have them rush something and then the little fuckin' sheeps come out to baa and whine over the fact that they should have taken their time. Not that anyone here is a sheep.


Not that any human is a sheep. I like sheep. I hate humans. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[PixelDream]

I've been revisiting Lateralus a lot the last couple of weeks. It feels like a journey, patiently searching for perfection. I believe they achieved that beyond measure on the title track. A moment in rock history where music and lyrics collide into something that surpasses my entire concept of what music can be.

[Kotowboy]

I'm not actively waiting for a Tool album. I just find it funny that every time a Tool thread is updated - it's never with any news.

[Buddyhunter1]

That's because there's never any news.

Maybe we should use this thread to discuss their existing albums rather than wait in limbo for the new album which may or may not ever come out?

[Kotowboy]

Yes.

Lateralus - The Title track is something else.
Aenima

10,000 Days


Undertow.




Opiate.

[Buddyhunter1]

That's exactly how I'd rank them too.

[Kotowboy]

[Lolzeez]

Aenima


Lateralus








Undertow





10,000 Days









Opiate

[PixelDream]

Lateralus - Tool's 'Dark Side of the Moon'

10,000 Days
Aenima


Undertow





Opiate

[pain of occupation]

Lateralus
Aenima
10 000 Days (a weaker Lateralus)


Opiate (totes different for them and rocking out and kinda fun)






Undertow (does did nothing for me. i think there was a brief period when i first got into Tool that it induced arousal, before i realized it was boring as fuck. i s'pose it's essentially the same thing as Opeth's My Farms, Your Horse for me)

[Ben_Jamin]

I know there are a few rogue Tool threads about certain albums including the future one, but I figured I'd make a definitive thread akin to the "THE" threads.

Alright so I just got my copy of Lateralus in the mail and I'm really excited to finally own a physical copy because the packaging is awesome. Also, there's a huge new entry on Tool's website with a nice question and answer e-mail type-up that confirms a 2011 United States East Coast tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's the whole thing:

For the past couple of weeks several of the band members have been tirelessly jamming, writing and arranging new music for a forthcoming album (as Maynard finishes up the current APC tour and tends to certain zymurgical pursuits). Contrary to any rumors that might be circulating out there, Adam has not been in England for several weeks hunting pheasant, grouse, partridge, guinea fowl, woodcock, common snipe or any other commonly hunted galliformes. Forget about what you read in the "Upland Journal" - he hasn't been slogging through the pine-clad dales of Yorkshire, nor with shotgun in hand in the mist-enshrouded reed-beds of Cornwall, seeking his quarry. There are no castle hotels, flushing dogs, or unpredictable weather. Thanks to a battery-powered hypnobioscope (a truly remarkable device that I found at a flee-market in Pacoima!), I also know that he's currently not over in Merry Ole investigating Stonehenge, woolly rhinos, or hoaxing agro-glyphs for future comic book issues. Nor has he been studying oil painting and climbing Big Ben whilst eating a McDonald's Big Mac. Same goes for learning the proper way of eating a Mcvities' biscuit, or the buttery goodness of any Hobnobs, shortbread or Tim Tams with his cup of Earl Grey in the warmth of an ensorcelled peat fire in some rustic country house. If you saw someone who looked like Adam sipping ale served by grey-bobbed fustilugs in pubs with names like "The Three-Legged Mare", "Bucket of Blood", "Slug and Lettuce" or "The Hairy Lemon", it wasn't Tool's guitarist. So don't email me about him checking out the crinkum-crankum in any British pub with its real ale, good food, strange, cheerful staff and a very nice cat. No, like I've said - he's been working with his nanoguitar on a complex piece of music whose working title is "Floccinaucinihilipilification." Likewise, take it from this fanfaron that Danny hasn't been going to Lakers home games in his orange Lambo, flying in Gates' burnt-ends for Sunday K.C. Chiefs games (in some futile alexipharmic hope!), attending meetings with Evil Joe Barresi about a possible Volto recording project, purchasing a ribbon-controller and other vintage trifles for his modular monstrosities, nor engaging in strange mesonoxian rituals. As with Adam, the Tool drummer has been focusing all his energy on the new Tool material. Ditto for Justin. Forget anything you've heard about his renting out the SilverLake Cha Cha Lounge for a private party celebrating his 40th birthday, attempting to get forty of his friends to skydive (only to be cancelled due to bad weather conditions... and certain mesonoxian rituals on my part) or refurbishing a 17th-century sailing vessel. As sure as the retrieved Roswell saucer is hidden in an old Tootsie Roll factory in New Jersey, no tequila shots katzenjammer is going to keep him from developing those innovative bass parts!

E-MAIL

Q: "Blair, this is a TOOL website right? Well how about actually posting something TOOL related...anything would be nice. I mean I know Maynard makes wine and that's great and all but, what's going on with the band? Shit man, make something up if you have to, but people in New Orleans can't very well drive to Cali to see VOLTO or go to a wine signing so please, give us some news! Sincerely, Joseph."

A: From what I've been told, the band is planning on doing a 'secret' concert really soon in New Orleans. This is going to be a massive production with a horizontal holographic surround sound system based on the two-dimensional Fourier transform (or something like that). Besides the digitally created phase inversion of sonic holography, there will be lighting effects that include Fairchild plasma optoelectronics and the most advanced (legal) liquid-nitrogen-cooled multicolored laser system available - all of which will be filmed for a live DVD. Supposedly, the set list for this three-hour extravaganza will include MANY songs that the band hasn't played in years, including the "Lateralus" album in its entirety. Additionally, some of the guest performers include Robert Fripp, Jimmy Page, Terry Bossio, Tori Amos, and, of course, Harry Connick Jr. During the encore (a zydeco-rendition of "Hooker With A Penis"), Danny will summon Marie Laveau from the dead in order to reveal true 13 Phase Unity Merkaba Lightbody Activation (thus doing away with the need for any backstage passes!). After the show, as a tribute to all their fans in NOLA, the band will throw a spectacular backstage party, with tuxedoed and top-hatted zombies serving complimentary Dixie Beer, shots of absinthe, and iced champagne laced with Gib's "Bottled Hell." There will also be plenty of special Tool JAMBALAYA, red beans & rice, Jujube-studded flaming Bananas Foster and glittering Beignets! Volto! to support. And when it's all over, in order to keep the live DVD under wraps, all those in attendance will be zapped by a memory-erasing device (Acme Neuralyzer) that was borrowed from Level 7 of the underground facility at Archuleta Mesa in Dulce, New Mexico. Therefore, Joseph, it might be that you've already saw the show of all Tool shows. Even met the band members! Might that explain those Jujubes in your pocket?

Q: "Hello, I would like to know if Tool plans to go on another tour sometime soon? My boyfriend and I live in Virginia and he LOVES Tool! Tool is the only band he will go see in concert. He is one of the Best guys in the world who like many has had a bad year due to lack of work. I would love to surprise him with the opportunity to go to one of your shows and have been checking your site off and on for the past year. Everything has been out west and beyond. I hope you can respond back with good news. I look forward to hearing back from you."

A: Although I don't have any specific details, look for some American tour dates in 2011. East coast venues (possibly including Virginia) are a good possibility.

Q: "Is it a possibility that there will be posters with Adams artwork available at the Australian concerts? Cheers, Matt."

A: Yes, I would expect to see them at the merch booths for each venue. There might also be some left over SIGNED 2010 WEST COAST/CANADA TOUR POSTERS (and shirts) for sale as specialty items in the TOOLARMY SHOPPING BAZAAR in the near future.

Q: "Hello. Are you guys ever coming to San Antonio? That would really make my day! huh.... I guess I'm your youngest fan since I'm fourteen."

A: As a card-carrying member of "The Benevolent Order of Armadillos", I believe that they will (SOMEDAY), although hopefully by then the San Antonio "curse" will be lifted without further banishing rites, etc.

Q: "Will the band be releasing and official vinyl version of "10,000 Days" at all? And would they consider doing a re-issue of "Aenima" on vinyl for those of us who can't afford an original?"

A: I don't know about Aenima, but I'm fairly certain that "10,000 Days" vinyl will be released soon - this because I've recently seen some test-pressings at Danny's manse.

Q: "Hello! My name is ********* and I am enquiring about an all access pass to either Big Day Out Gold Coast on Jan 23rd or Brisbane Entertainment Centre on Jan 24th. I truly know how bloody cheeky this sounds, I actually feel quite bad about enquiring in the first place, but there is a valid reason. I'm not simply a die-hard who wants to meet the band (although I can't rule myself out of that category, either!). I have a ticket already to both of these events (albeit crappy ones). I will however, be 37 weeks pregnant (less than 3 weeks from popping), and can't bear the thought of missing out on the shows while the guys are in Oz. Big Day Out is going to be an interesting scenario because it is exactly that... a HUGE day out, sweltering sun, and no seating. Perfect for a woman the size of a house and about to bust at the guts. My ticket to the entertainment centre is in a silver reserved seat (only took 15 mins for the gold reserved to sell out while I was waiting patiently in line), and is up a MILLION flights of stairs. Again, perfect for the fatty. I'm not even sure who I should be contacting about this issue... but you seemed a good first try. Perhaps you can point me in the right direction? Again, I know I'm being cheeky, but it's worth asking in any case."

A: Banged up, by Jingo! Sounds like someone cracked a fat without a franger. Well, that's wonderful, dear! Nothing like ankle bitters and carpet grubs. Little nipper's gonna be a great croc hunter, I reckon. Though I'm currently busier than a one-armed taxi driver with crabs, here's what I suggest. Once you enter the BDO, with all those bloody yobbos and gutfuls of piss in your way, hoof it - flat out like a lizard drinking - towards the main stage area. Because it's right hot, be sure to take a breather at the first billabong (no worries about that bunyip - it's not as aggro as you've been told). Continue on, watching out for salties, dingos and such... The mozzies and kookas will be bad, but it's the same for every bastard and his dog. Once you've reached the third humpy, sneak around the first jumbuck acting the raw prawn (that's security, but there's no need to fart a crowbar) until you see a fella there with a face like a festered pickle in a brown Akubra. (He'll probably also be wearing a necklace of shark's teeth and other Aussie foofaraw.) Ask him to take you back to where the ambos, garbos, kangas, and divvy vans are parked. Back where the barbies are smoking shrimp for the band and crew. Here, the stage manager should be obvious as a pimple on a pumpkin. He's the fellow buzzing around like a blue-arsed fly. Tell him that your mate, BMB, sent you, and Bob's your uncle! He should be able to give you a seat that fits like a honeymoon cock.

HAPPY TRAILS

So...how was the show?

[Kotowboy]

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news/general_music_news/maynard_wants_nothing_to_do_with_tool_or_their_fans_insufferable_people_retards.html

[TioJorge]

Damn it, Dave! I was literally about to post that when you ninja'd me. 

Except I prefaced it with: "I'm just gonna leave this here...  "

Good stuff. I think this more or less confirms what most people who aren't foaming-at-the-mouth fans were thinking. It'll either be another long while, or it'll never happen. Which is fine by me. I've not been one to piss and moan about any album coming out even if its by one of my favorite bands (other than a "boy I'd love to have a new album by *so-and-so*). With Tool, I love some of their music a lot in handfuls but I'd be totally fine with their legacy being just that and left alone. Especially if the guy is this bitter and done with it as he seems to be. Now, I've made it clear that I'm definitely of the mind that bands should make music on their own terms and fans have all but jack shit of rights to say about it, especially when they get their thongs in a wad and bitch about it. I'm also of the mind that a whole lot of Tool fans, more so than a lot of others bands, are seething douchebags at times, it's still super shitty to say this. Granted, at this point people are basically throwing it in his face and mocking the guy. That much has been apparent for a while, so I do understand that he'd be pissed. Poke a bear with a stick enough times and you're going to get mauled. Still shitty and Maynard still has his head in the clouds. I don't think that's going away.

I guess all this is to say: Tool gonna be Tool. Tool fans gonna be Tool fans. Seriously, what did Maynard expect? "Ah, pardon good sir, might you have any updates on a forthcoming album? I don't mean to bother."  Eh!

*Anticipates/listens to other music that isn't comparable to Sasquatch/Loch Ness Monster/Area 51*

[Kotowboy]

I'm not waiting for a Tool album. The more excuses and bullshit they come up with the funnier it is.


It's like the whole band is pulling some kind of Andy Kaufman shit and there's no new music at all.

[Kotowboy]

At least with Metallica there is evidence they're in the studio at least and updates every once in a while.


With Tool ? Who knows...

[wolfking]

I seriously believe all the new album talk is shit.  I don't think they've done a damn thing.

[Kotowboy]

I seriously believe all the new album talk is shit.  I don't think they've done a damn thing.

There certainly has been no evidence to support the stories. No studio pictures or anything.

Just bullshit on their website about why it's taking so long.

[wolfking]

Whatever the go is, they should give their fans the respect to be upfront and honest.  If there is no plans for an album, just tell us.

[Kotowboy]

For someone like me who doesn't really care one way or the other - if it ever comes out i'll check it out - it's just funny reading all their bullshit.

I can't imagine being a proper TOOL fan and reading everything they say and analysing it for any news at all.

[Deathless]

I do think they are writing music. There was the story a few months ago from Motorhead, who shares a rehearsal space with Tool. The Tool guys were in there writing music (minus Maynard I believe). Who knows, maybe he's not interested?

Fact is, they had that awful weird lawsuit, so they've gotta keep touring, even if it's really small chunks. If that's it though...

[TioJorge]

I was going to say, I thought there was some kind of update, even if it was obscure and not really an actual update, but a veiled one at that...?  Either way I'm with ya Dave, especially on the Andy Kaufman comment, that's awesome. I couldn't care less either but if I had to guess, I'd guess that there is some visage of material out there, perhaps in pieces, maybe even a few songs, but I really doubt there is anything close to an actual, cohesive album that is being worked on steadily (or even on and off). I'm thinking that they know that their fanbase will violently grasp onto that hope and the band itself for long enough to milk whatever they can, hence the weird and random sales of band material/blankets/whatever-the-hell-else. The comment about the touring thing is what is really telling. Being ambivalent and/or taking decades to make an album is one thing but not touring or doing anything to even keep the band's name alive is a whole other concept. Kind of a shame but again, I'm far more than indifferent at this point and indeed Dave, it is getting to the point where you just have to laugh.

[Ben_Jamin]

What's funny is that they ask Maynard. He's said that he doesn't know and it's up to the other guys to provide him music to create melodies.

Why does no one interview Danny,  Adam, or Justin. They write the music. 

Also, good on Maynard for calling out the pissy fans. Most fans like that need that slap in the face. 

[TioJorge]

That's a good point, there are rarely any interviews from the others. But you know, I think that is an image and a routine that Maynard himself has perpetuated and wanted for quite some time. He's this mastermind that's oiling the very rusty parts of the machine that is Tool. But he usually knows how to play the fans that clamor for the album like heroine addicts pretty well. Like I said earlier, I completely agree about the fans and while not that all Tool fans are like this, there's a sect for every band, it just so happens that the Tool fan's sect is very large. Even for Maynard, those comments are pretty shitty. I mean...dude has to know what a lot of his fans are like. Surely. He has backed such things for a very fucking long time. This cannot come off as a surprise to him.  So on one hand I couldn't agree more. On the other, this is nothing new...'retards' and Tool have gone hand in hand for a really long time. I'm pretty sure there are some fans out there that, upon Maynard exclaiming, "Guys, the real reason for the Tool album delay is that I am actually New Horizons and have been taking pictures of planets, so bear with me", would jump up and say "TOLD YOU SO!" 

[Kotowboy]

Why does no one interview Danny,  Adam, or Justin. They write the music. 

Fixed Alex Gray does the artwork .

[Ben_Jamin]

Why does no one interview Danny,  Adam, or Justin. They write the music. 

Fixed Alex Gray does the artwork .

Hahaha  I have no idea why I put Alex. 

[El Barto]

That's a good point, there are rarely any interviews from the others. But you know, I think that is an image and a routine that Maynard himself has perpetuated and wanted for quite some time. He's this mastermind that's oiling the very rusty parts of the machine that is Tool. But he usually knows how to play the fans that clamor for the album like heroine addicts pretty well. Like I said earlier, I completely agree about the fans and while not that all Tool fans are like this, there's a sect for every band, it just so happens that the Tool fan's sect is very large. Even for Maynard, those comments are pretty shitty. I mean...dude has to know what a lot of his fans are like. Surely. He has backed such things for a very fucking long time. This cannot come off as a surprise to him.  So on one hand I couldn't agree more. On the other, this is nothing new...'retards' and Tool have gone hand in hand for a really long time. I'm pretty sure there are some fans out there that, upon Maynard exclaiming, "Guys, the real reason for the Tool album delay is that I am actually New Horizons and have been taking pictures of planets, so bear with me", would jump up and say "TOLD YOU SO!" 

My understanding of it is that a big part of the reason he doesn't stick around for applause and the big bow after shows is because he wants the spotlight to be on the band rather than him. People associate him as Tool and I don't think that's an association he wants or likes at all.

As for the recent article, here was my take on it posted elsewhere:

Nothing in that article suggests any ill-will towards Tool overall. Only that this gig wouldn't have been his first choice. As for the fans I agree with him. Tool seems to attract a surprisingly large number of hyper-aggressive fucksticks. I can sympathize with people who want to play artistic music that wind up having to cater to inbred drunkards who just want to beat the shit out of each other while Tool plays Ænema and Stinkfist. 
     
  The smart move on their part would be to widely publicize "we will not be playing Ænema, Stinkfist, Sober or Forty-Six & 2 on this tour. Come if you want to see the rest of our catalog." A whole lot of us would be thrilled to death to see that. 
     
 Also, I get the impression that Maynard digs the shit out of the music he does with Tool. I wouldn't expect him to ditch that, despite the annoying baggage that it brings along.

[TioJorge]

Hm. I was aware of his social anxiety (of sorts) and playing behind a curtain, not being one to 'play the frontman' so to speak. But I suppose that's true.

[senecadawg2]

NA Tool tour announced. With a show in Charlotte, I'd definitely like to make it, but damn if those tickets aren't a bit pricey...

[Kotowboy]

Nothing came from that Q&A they did either.

I guess they mentioned new album questions were off limits.

[ReaperKK]

Hopefully I can catch them in Charlotte, Nashville, or Atlanta. I want to take my brother and he has never seen them.

[Mindflux]

Thinking of picking up tickets to the San Antonio show. I don't know.

[senecadawg2]

Well I bit the 102 dollar bullet. Hopefully it's a damn good show 

[El Barto]

Damn, I can't believe we used to complain about Ticketmaster a year ago. The whole thing has really become a mess now. Three of us tried to get seats to the local show and all struck out. I can't even get TM to offer me a single to the BOK show, but at this point I wouldn't bother with whatever they have left. Seems that only scalpers are allowed to purchase tickets with a high demand. Real shame.

On the bright side, I've seen this tour 4 times now. It's not like I'm missing anything new.

[Kotowboy]

Well I bit the 102 dollar bullet. Hopefully it's a damn good show 

o_o

The most i've ever paid for one gig is £50 to see Green Day at Wembley.

I think that's about the limit i'd ever spend. Considering the size of the band and the venue.

[senecadawg2]

Yeah it's by far the most I've ever paid for an individual ticket before. Though it works itself out because usually I'm buying for my girlfriend too and she's not into Tool. At least, not that tool

That really sucks EB. I was concerned I wouldn't get in after the loading page idled for 15 minutes. Scalpers are the scum of the earth.