if others understood what I like to call 4C-Syndrome I could totally relate to this with production/compression/mixing/mastering issues.
But as far extreme metal vocals, I have come to the point where if the clean vocals suck; i.e. in tone or frankly, if the singer is sounding totally cheesy buttrock to me (Scar Symmetry for example), I would much rather hear any kind of extreme vocals.
Now on the flipside, a few bands who do them like Dillinger Escape Plan and Deftones (and I'll include Exotic Animal Petting Zoo) the punk-screaming seems so upfront and eventually grates on me, I can't tolerate it.
I might add as well, a few of these immature sounding high-pitched singers like Anthony Green of Circa Survive I have the exact same issue with that others have with extreme vocals. It's like fingernails-on-a-chalkboard that anything good with the music is totally moot given how distracting/annoying/unstomach-able the vocals are. And how high in the mix/upfront they are, that they stick out too much and ruin it.
But most extreme vocals are not so high in the mix, that I tend to focus on the other parts of the music and at times, eventually the vocals start to stand out and become a better part of the band's sound.
But 1st and foremost, I take them in like a rhythm guitar part.