Oh Dream Team, you just had to go and poke the sloth.
Honor Thy Father:
0:00 0:03: Which path will our heroes take? 6'o Clock or Where Eagles Dare?
0:03 0:14: They took Damage Inc. What a shock.
0:14 0:55: I'm calling this an update / transposition of Learning to Live martial opening riff to the nu young cool millennium and at 25 for the first time in my life I feel focking old. I must admit there is something undeniably pleasing in the guitar chunkiness though.
0:55 1:06: Sped up Tom Morello riffage. Interesting. No, I am serious, it is interesting. Maybe this album is starting to get its attitude right?
1:06 1:26: Repetition, hence The Drive:
Nice car. A bit uncomfortable for the passenger though. Is your girlfriend ok with it?
Now, the correct answer would have been: Sure. if I had one she would be very comfortable with you asking that question from that very seat as well, you conniving slut.
Alas I was 25, proud owner of a dick, and it was way more natural and satisfying to think of her as innocently compelled to be flirtatious. So the actual response was:
Don't have one. But if you get accostumed to it by the end of the trip you may apply.
What a douche. And a very dumb one at that.
1:26 1:59: I hate to repeat myself even under stress despite of my handle but Why The Fock Tool of All the Shitty Bands? You want to sacrify your personality on the altar of the nu fads? Be my guest, but at least try to show some good taste, for all the love we shared's sake.
1:59 2:19: Oh do fock off. That's it, no need for further elaboration.
2:19 2:37: Now that was nice, but if I were this section I would be offended for being placed amidst rubbish. And I think the Ancient Mariner should be a bit offended too.
2:37 2:57: Ok, I've played James' advocate so far, but at this point, if you accept to utter that yeah, I can't keep seeing you as just the poor mistreated loyal team player anymore; I now start to suspect you've focking lost touch with what you are and more importantly what you are not. Are you telling me Pantera was part of the inspiration corner but nobody actually bothered listening to Walk's most significant piece of lyrics?
2:57 3:18: Repetition, hence The Drive:
What I've learned about the Black Bitch during the first 150 Kms:
. She's single (Lie #1, but didn't know it yet)
. She likes Jeff Buckley and the Queens of the Stone Age (Well, could be worse, but honestly I don't give a fock: my penis is deaf.)
. She's not into show-business (Lie #2, and a big evil one at that) and she does those dancing gigs to pay for the Academy of Arts. She wants to be a painter. (Nice, another lie, and I don't give a fock anyway: my gentleman sausage is quite egalitarian regarding career choices.)
. She really is a Ann Hathaway lookalike, and that's what ultimately erased every hope I had to detect lies and unsound intent.
I was literally a lamb led to the slaughter while fancying itself a wolf on the prowl.
3:18 3:50: Slightly re-Tooled with.
3:50 4:28: A hell of a Maiden section once again. This album's leit motif so far is the irrepressible way pieces of authentic DT good music make their way through old man at the club crap every 2/3 minutes.
4:28 4:49: Once again, Singer at the Wrong Gig.
4:49 5:03: Suddenly we're flashbacking right inside AcoS, and I'm just waiting for goodbye, and ... I won't dignify with a mention what I got instead.
5:03 6:25: And in a dramatic turn of events, this part focking rips, samples and all. It makes sense, it fits the mood, it tells a story, it owns its nasty. The whole song should have been like this, and with a bit of courage and no James involvement whatsoever we would have got this generation's Revolution #9. Which is kinda rubbish, but respectable.
6:25 6:54: Ghosts 'n' Goblins, third stage.
6:54 7:37:
But once JM tinkers with the harmony, it suddenly becomes a brilliant piece of music.
7:37 7:50: I am so tired of this contrived experimentation. I mean, if you experiment in every direction all the time, what the fock are you actually experimenting?
7:50 8:09: I swear this is Beyond this Life recycling. I have a strange feeling, and it actually began with the last album; once upon a time, while listening, I could just picture the guys assembling music, now I picture them assembling minutes. Huge difference.
8:09 10:12: Repetition (plus small mammals rape noises) hence The Drive:
You know, I find men who make me laugh extremely sexy, and I love Young Frankenstein, and I feel so adventurous, and it's such a lovely night, and ...
And we never made it home.
Coming Next: 25 minutes of album redemption
Topic: Scenes From My Memory v. Honor Thy Father (Read 137308 times)
