The Count Of Portnoy v. mock letter

[Tick]

Ok, this will get ripped apart and probably locked in a couple minutes but listening to TCOT inspired a looney tunes moment.


Could this be the end?
Is this the way I lie?
Leaving my own band
No one by my side

I don't understand
I don't feel that I deserve this
What did I do wrong?
I just don't understand

Give me one more chance
Let me please explain
You know that I'm the man
I'll tell you once again

You took me for a ride
Leaving me a fast departure
Next thing that I know
I'm tweeting for my life

Now wait a minute man
That's not how it is
You must be confused
I'm Mike fucking Portnoy!

Please don't be afraid
I would never try to rule you
This is how we lived
Strange although it seems
You always listened to me

The albums and my growls
The crying and my whine
The fables and the tales
Were mostly fucking mine

Of course you're free to go
Go lie to them about my story
Eat my balls and ass
Tell them you left me
 
The Count Mike Portnoy eeeee!

[Sixtease]

Next thing that I know
I'm tweeting for my life

[Mindflux]

The Tick is not looney tunes!

HARK! A MESSAGE FROM MY TEETH!

also, no 'eat my ass and balls' fail. It's MP!

[Perpetual Change]

Tick, I hope you don't take this the wrong way or anything, and considering all the time I burn at this place this is really a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but anyway...

You just spent how many minutes of your life doing that?

Not trying to be a jerk, but just think about it.

 

[Mebert78]

I think you should record this over the instrumental TCoT.

[Tick]

Tick, I hope you don't take this the wrong way or anything, and considering all the time I burn at this place this is really a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but anyway...

You just spent how many minutes of your life doing that?

Not trying to be a jerk, but just think about it.

 

I don't take it the wrong way at all. I could care less PC. I  had just mopped my kitchen floor and while I was waiting for it to dry, I felt like wasting a few minutes. When your brain is as warped as mine, trust me, it doesn't take me long to come up with this shit at all. It took me all of about 10 minutes to start and finish.

oh and I didn't want to start a thread for this but when I went to post it in the out of control Portnoy thread it was closed so...

[Tick]

I think you should record this over the instrumental TCoT.

Hmm...

[Tick]

The Tick is not looney tunes!

HARK! A MESSAGE FROM MY TEETH!

also, no 'eat my ass and balls' fail. It's MP!

Feel free to waste your own life writing a parody and you can include Mikes balls and ass in yours.

but it would have worked.

I used it! Hope you don't mind. It fit well!

[Perpetual Change]

I don't take it the wrong way at all. I could care less PC. I just had just mopped my kitchen floor and while I was waiting for it to dry, I felt like wasting a few minutes. When your brain is as warped as mine, trust me, it doesn't take me long to come up with this shit at all. It took me all of about 10 minutes to start and finish.

oh and I didn't want to start a thread for this but when I went to post it in the out of control Portnoy thread it was closed so...

Yeah I hear ya. I only bring it up because lately I've been evaluating how much time I at this place, and rarely now do I post without thinking, "man, do I really need to post that?" first.

Now I just waste time lurking more.

[Tick]

I don't take it the wrong way at all. I could care less PC. I just had just mopped my kitchen floor and while I was waiting for it to dry, I felt like wasting a few minutes. When your brain is as warped as mine, trust me, it doesn't take me long to come up with this shit at all. It took me all of about 10 minutes to start and finish.

oh and I didn't want to start a thread for this but when I went to post it in the out of control Portnoy thread it was closed so...

Yeah I hear ya. I only bring it up because lately I've been evaluating how much time I at this place, and rarely now do I post without thinking, "man, do I really need to post that?" first.

Now I just waste time lurking more.

I'm a perpetual time waster PC. I find that I waste a shitload of time fucking around. Then all at once I feel guilty and I go balls to the wall to get a bunch of shit done to make up for it. Can you relate to that?

[Perpetual Change]

I'm a perpetual time waster PC. I find that I waste a shitload of time fucking around. Then all at once I feel guilty and I go balls to the wall to get a bunch of shit done to make up for it. Can you relate to that?

Nah, for me I spend about half of the day slacking and half of the day getting shit done, so I never really focus enough on either, and always feel guilty that I'm not doing enough or one or the other.

[Zook]

I laughed so hard I shit my pants.

[Jarlaxle]

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

I thoroughly enjoyed this. 

[toro]

The albums and my growls
The crying and my whine
The fables and the tales
Were mostly fucking mine

[wolfking]

I'm sure CJS would be all for re-recording it with these new lyrics! 

[Ħ]

I'm sure CJS would be all for re-recording it with these new lyrics! 

In fact, someone that can sing and has the BCSL stems should overlay their own vocals with these updated lyrics!

[Tick]

I'm sure CJS would be all for re-recording it with these new lyrics! 

In fact, someone that can sing and has the BCSL stems should overlay their own vocals with these updated lyrics!

I am considering it.

By the way, I'm glad you all found the humor in it!

[ScioPath]

Where's that Nicky kid?

[Adami]

Where's that Nicky kid?

I assume he's with the band auditioning drummers.

[Aniland]

Loved it.

[wolfking]

I'm sure CJS would be all for re-recording it with these new lyrics! 

In fact, someone that can sing and has the BCSL stems should overlay their own vocals with these updated lyrics!

I am considering it.

By the way, I'm glad you all found the humor in it!

Do it and then post your link on the MP forum.

[?]

  LOL, that was funny!

[Tick]

20 Plus Years...


There just the kind of band
You hear about
Who ditch there drummer
just cause he wanted out
Burnt out he saw the signs
And then he said a word
He couldn't take another day

Help me I'm on the floor now
Sinking in my quick sand
I think I need some water
This fucked up my future plan

Once your road
of life is altered
Shit falls on your shoulders
Once the cloud that's raining
down then your head is aware
and that noise that you'll hear
Is the crashing down of 20 plus years

There just a bunch of guys
You cared about
Willing to take another
Not gonna be without
They leave you high and dry
Don't tell you anything
When you tweet, they don't reply



Help me I'm on the floor now
Wishing I had my band
I wish this wasn't water
I'm not where I thought I'd land

I got boned
and now I'm under
a pile of fucking boulders
the mound of shit that hanging
Over your head reappears
That noise that you'll hear
Is Mike Portnoy crying in his beer

Yeah, I waste too much time....


*DISCLAIMER* The following depiction of Mike Portnoy is fictional and strictly for entertainment purposes. Mike is a recovering addict and thus does not indulge in beer or any other alcoholic beverages.

[Sixtease]

Wow, that last line was hard. Please do record the covers!

[Tick]

Wow, that last line was hard. Please do record the covers!

All in good fun!

[Mebert78]

When you tweet, they don't reply

lol

[Tick]

Read my latest parody, located in this thread!

[Tick]

Read the post 4 up from this one!

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

I got boned
and now I'm under
a pile of fucking boulders
the mound of shit that hanging
Over your head reappears
That noise that you'll hear
Is Mike Portnoy crying in his beer

[2Timer]

Wow, that last line was hard. Please do record the covers!

All in good fun!

Yeah, and I hope this thread doesn't get locked, because hopefully everyone can tell that it isn't really bashing MP.
I think it's cool that people are being light-hearted about the whole situation; it's what we need. And I just might contribute some of my own parodies after I give it some thought.