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Author Topic: The Adventures of God  (Read 2763 times)

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Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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The Adventures of God
« on: August 10, 2010, 06:58:09 PM »
https://www.collegehumor.com/article:1803435

I

God: Noah, all the people of earth are sinners. You alone are righteous.

Noah: Thanks God. Long time fan, first time prophet.

God: So, I have decided to smite the entire world with a flood.

(pause)

Noah: Couldn’t you just teach man goodness?

God: No. I’m thinking “flood”.

Noah: So you’d rather just kill every-

God: What part of “flood” do you not understand?

 

II

God: Moses…I have seen the plight of the Jews in Egypt.

Moses: Wow. Only after, uh, 400 years there, right?

God: Yes.

Moses: Awesome.

God: I will take you out of Egypt after ten terrible, terrible plagues.

Moses: …ten?

God: Is there a problem?

Moses: It’s just…ten is a lot. For, you know, God. Couldn’t you get this done in like, two plagues max?

God: No. For you see Moses, I will harden Pharaoh’s heart against me.

Moses: So…you are going to stop him from letting us free from slavery.

God: Yes.

Moses: So you can bring more terrible, terrible plagues upon the people.

God: Yes.

Moses: And you see nothing wrong with this picture?

God: ...

Moses: Are there any other God’s up there I can talk to?



III

Mary: Did you send the child support?

God: Frankincense and myrrh. Yeah.

Mary  Annnnnd?

God: (sighs). And gold. And the gold.

Mary: That’s better.



IV

Job: …

God: Well, this is awkward.



V

God: Abraham, you must circumcise yourself.

Abraham: As you wish, my lord.

God: Oh my Me. He’s totally going to do it.
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Offline bosk1

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2010, 07:03:29 PM »
At first I was like:  :|

And then I was like:  "But...#5..." and I ran off and hid in the corner and was like :rollin

And then I came back and was like:  :| again
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Offline Sigz

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2010, 07:05:47 PM »
 :rollin :rollin :rollin
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Quote
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Offline Dr. SeaWolf

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2010, 07:48:22 PM »
That's fantastic!

:rollin
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Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2010, 09:43:21 PM »
 :lol
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Offline Perpetual Change

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2010, 09:46:48 PM »
Very funny.
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Offline Jamesman42

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2010, 09:48:19 PM »
I lol'd, and I don't know if I should have. :lol
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Offline ThroughHerEyesDude6

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2010, 02:38:30 PM »
I lol'd and I know I had to :lol
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Offline TAC

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2010, 02:51:47 PM »
Very funny! :lol

The "two plagues max" line was hilarious.
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Quote from: wkiml on June 08, 2012, 10:06:35 AM
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
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Winger Theater Forums........or WTF.  ;D
Quote from: Buddyhunter1 on April 22, 2023, 06:54:45 PM
TAC got a higher score than me in the electronic round? Honestly, can I just drop out now? :lol

Offline fsh3702

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #9 on: August 25, 2010, 01:06:42 AM »
i don't get where the funny parts are.
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Offline Portrucci

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #10 on: August 25, 2010, 01:40:14 AM »
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Quote from: black_floyd on June 16, 2011, 06:03:58 PM
on par with the anguish one would have from getting unconsensually bent over and buttloved.

Offline Arcaeus

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #11 on: August 25, 2010, 08:04:32 AM »
Too tired to laugh out loud, but I found it pretty amusing :lol
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Offline Phantasmatron

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Re: The Adventures of God
« Reply #12 on: August 25, 2010, 10:39:25 AM »
Quote from: Arcaeus on August 25, 2010, 08:04:32 AM
Too tired to laugh out loud, but I found it pretty amusing :lol

This.  :lol
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