The "groupie" thing, compliments, and how things change as you get older

[Orbert]

So I'm playing in the praise band at one of the huge, multidenominational churches that are becoming more popular these days.  I got into it because one of my co-workers plays bass there, they needed a keyboard player, and he knew I played.  Otherwise, I know no one else at this church except the band and the handful of people I've been introduced to.

After the service, it's "social time" and hundreds of people are sipping coffee and nibbling cookies and stuff, chatting, chasing kids around, etc.  I have nothing to do for half an hour, which is when we start getting ready for the second service, so I hang around and sip coffee along with everyone else.  Except I don't know anyone, so basically I'm just standing there killing time.

This pretty blonde in a nice white dress comes up to me and touches my arm and says "I love what you do up there!  I just wanted to tell you that."  I thanked her and told her I was glad she enjoyed it.

Something in the way she said it -- or maybe the touch on the arm -- made me sure that she meant me personally when she said "you" (she could have meant the whole band (curse you ambiguous pronouns!) but I don't think so.)  I tend to do a lot of little things musically to add to the overall effect, plus between songs I'm the one holding the pads during a verse of scripture or a prayer, sometimes quietly modulating into the next song.  That kind of thing.  It's occurred to me in the past that this is just part of the whole "package" to most, but hopefully people who know a little bit about music realize that the keyboard player is the one holding everything together.

So I decide that she has realized this and just wanted me to know, which I really do appreciate.  Then I muse on the fact that 20 years ago (okay more like 30), if she had come up to me during a break and said that, it would've been better than 50/50 that I'm gonna buy her a drink, and if that goes well, better than 50/50 that we're leaving the place together.  Those were the days.  But we're all middle-aged and married, and this is church fer cryin' out loud, so none of that other stuff matters, and I realize that the compliment is all that really counts.

I don't know what the point of this was, except that maybe it really is the compliments that matter most to musicians.  I didn't play rock and roll in bars to get laid; I did it because I love playing for people, and I get off on them digging us.  The babes were just a bonus.  Take that away, and I don't think the music loses anything.

[RobD]

Praise is a weird one for me. I don't seem to take it well on the grounds that I don't believe I'm deserving of most of it. Which is weird, I'd expect it to be the negative criticism having that affect on me. I do thank people if they do come up and chat to me after a gig, but I think I just feel like I'm cheating them by getting money for what they paid for - I love live music and enjoy playing it in exactly the same way I enjoy seeing it. Maybe that just comes down to audience interaction during playing so they feeling connected to it and I feel like I'm just enjoying a live show.
Eh, I guess I still need to learn how to accept praise for some of the things I do. I think I might've become a tad cynical on it's worth to people since working in audio engineering/producing too

But you can never underestimate the emotional impact music can have on people.