There are worse:
- true metal must have NO INNOVATION. If it doesn't sound like the '80s metal, it's gay and commercial.
- true metal can't sound modern. If it sounds modern, it's gay and commercial.
- true metal can't have songs above 4 minutes. If it does, it's gay, commercial, or Opeth.
- true metal can't have concept albums. If it's a concept album, it's pretentious. Pretentious things are gay and commercial.
- true metal must never have emo lyrics - that is, not about death, Vikings, death, battles, death, Satan, or death. Emo lyrics are gay and commercial.
- true metal can't have musicians capable of playing in something else than 4/4 and of above-average technicality. If it does, it's wankery, which is, quite obviously, gay and commercial. If it's Meshuggah or Dream Theater, BUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNN.
- true metal can NEVER SOUND ANYTHING CLOSE TO NU-METAL. If it's anything nu-metal, it's... yeah, you guessed it. (In case you don't know, according to one kvltist on Metal Archives, OSI "Blood" is nu-metal)
- true metal must be always metal from start to finish. If it has any calmer parts, it's... is it that predictable?
- true metal is only true if it doesn't progress. If a band's 20th album sounds just like the first one, they're really fvcking methul!!!!11
That'll do for starters.