I have an interesting history with suicide. One of my best friends attempted it, another best friend didn't do it because I was there for him, my first girlfriend had attempted it while we dated and well I played around with the idea and almost brought myself to it multiple times in the past.
But in the end I know that suicide is the worst possible thing you could ever do. It does absolutely no good. It's just the wrong way out. It means you've given up. And I know that. But yet I still think about it constantly lately. Not so much as a possibility, but muttering the words "I want to die" every now and then. And wondering "Would so and so even give a fuck?" or "what would be different?"
Now as for you Zander. You are awesome. One of the coolest people I have the privilege to say I've met in person and can talk to on a borderline regular basis. I hope you don't ever come even relatively close to doing such a thing to those around you and yourself. Because, and I'm sure many would agree, I'd miss the fuck out of you.
And it's no fun if your corpse can't say no.