The Depressed/Angry Thread.

[MasterShakezula]

Don't do it!  I actually relate to you better and tolerate you far more than the majority of people I come across in real life.  Plus, dying is totally weak and stuff. 

[lateralus88]

I have an interesting history with suicide. One of my best friends attempted it, another best friend didn't do it because I was there for him, my first girlfriend had attempted it while we dated and well I played around with the idea and almost brought myself to it multiple times in the past.

But in the end I know that suicide is the worst possible thing you could ever do. It does absolutely no good. It's just the wrong way out. It means you've given up. And I know that. But yet I still think about it constantly lately. Not so much as a possibility, but muttering the words "I want to die" every now and then. And wondering "Would so and so even give a fuck?" or "what would be different?"

Now as for you Zander. You are awesome. One of the coolest people I have the privilege to say I've met in person and can talk to on a borderline regular basis. I hope you don't ever come even relatively close to doing such a thing to those around you and yourself. Because, and I'm sure many would agree, I'd miss the fuck out of you.




And it's no fun if your corpse can't say no.

[Adami]

I've been having suicidal thoughts regularly for the last week or so.

They're all oddly comforting in their own way. I don't think it's normal, but that's what they feel like.

I'm actually not even depressed or upset over them, but this feels like the right thread to post this in.

Everybody considers suicide at some point or another.

[dethklok09]

I've considered suicide before but nothing like extreme consideration, but I have often wondered about who would care if I commited suicide.

[Ravenheart]

Thanks, guys.

I've struggled with it plenty of times in the past and I've attempted it on several occasions.


This just feels different. I don't know. They just feel comforting but without any moroseness. It's like I'd fully accept it.

But I think I've established myself here enough so that everyone knows I'm fucking weird in general, so it shouldn't be too surprising.

I am suspecting this is just a phase I'm going through and will pass soon. I hope it will at least.

[MasterShakezula]

I've considered suicide before but nothing like extreme consideration, but I have often wondered about who would care if I commited suicide.

Well the loss of a member who actually enjoys metal would prove devastating to this forum, considering there's like 6 of us who even fit that description.  

[JayOctavarium]

I've considered suicide before but nothing like extreme consideration, but I have often wondered about who would care if I commited suicide.

ive wondered that too... and got even more depressed when i tried to count the people that would care.... but hey one is enough.

plus we all have eachother


-yeshomogrouphug-

[lateralus88]

Thanks, guys.

I've struggled with it plenty of times in the past and I've attempted it on several occasions.


This just feels different. I don't know. They just feel comforting but without any moroseness. It's like I'd fully accept it.

But I think I've established myself here enough so that everyone to knows I'm fucking weird in general, so it shouldn't be too surprising.

I am suspecting this is just a phase I'm going through and will pass soon. I hope it will at least.

I might not be the best guy to be saying this but I know it won't be a permanent state of mind. If you ask me you are just simply not completely in tune with your own self (I know, I sound like a no good hippie. Shut up). A loss of perspective is a loss of wholeness in many cases (I am not an expert in this but whatever).

[Jirpo]

One day I just thought about it and told myself I would never, ever commit suicide, under any circumstances. Now I feel completely comfortable, because even if I feel depressed or jokingly think about it, I know it will never happen. I dunno, maybe I'm just not depressed enough.

[MasterShakezula]

I have no interest in suicide, whatsoever.  Never have and never will, cause, really, life's too short as it is, and I wanna do shit, and such. 

[JayOctavarium]

I have no interest in suicide, whatsoever.  Never have and never will, cause, really, life's too short as it is, and I wanna do shit, and such. 

i wont let you die a virgin.

[Jirpo]

I have no interest in suicide, whatsoever.  Never have and never will, cause, really, life's too short as it is, and I wanna do shit, and such. 

Yeah pretty much this for me

[MasterShakezula]

I have no interest in suicide, whatsoever.  Never have and never will, cause, really, life's too short as it is, and I wanna do shit, and such. 

i wont let you die a virgin.

Thank you for being willing to make me lose my virginity.  You have no idea how much that means to me.  ^^

[dethklok09]

I refuse to die before I see one of these bands in concert


System of a down
Pain of salvation
Arcade fire
Or some other of my favorite shitty music

[dethklok09]

I have no interest in suicide, whatsoever.  Never have and never will, cause, really, life's too short as it is, and I wanna do shit, and such. 

i wont let you die a virgin.

Thank you for being willing to make me lose my virginity.  You have no idea how much that means to me.  ^^

Technically he never said he would do that

[JayOctavarium]

I refuse to die before I see one of these bands in concert


System of a down
Pain of salvation
Arcade fire
Or some other of my favorite shitty music

for me it's Pink Floyd.


I WILL NEVER DIE!

[Ravenheart]

Music really helps me cope with all of my nonstop insecurities and frustrations in life.

I guess that's why most of my favorite artists all have gloomy lyrics--Emilie Autumn, Nine Inch Nails, Depeche Mode. Heh... oh well. I love my music. I don't give a fuck if people judge me for it.

[dethklok09]

I refuse to die before I see one of these bands in concert


System of a down
Pain of salvation
Arcade fire
Or some other of my favorite shitty music

for me it's Pink Floyd.


I WILL NEVER DIE!

I never thought I'd say this but now I sort of wish you had the ability to die

[JayOctavarium]

I refuse to die before I see one of these bands in concert


System of a down
Pain of salvation
Arcade fire
Or some other of my favorite shitty music

for me it's Pink Floyd.


I WILL NEVER DIE!

I never thought I'd say this but now I sort of wish you had the ability to die

I know right? seriously i would be ok with dying after seeing Pink Floyd.. whether its with or without roger

[dethklok09]

Actually now that I think about it I'd be happy with just seeing David Gilmour live.

[lateralus88]

I've seen my top 5. I guess I can die now.


Actually no I still need to direct Sonata's script.

[Jirpo]

Music really helps me cope with all of my nonstop insecurities and frustrations in life.

I guess that's why most of my favorite artists all have gloomy lyrics--Emilie Autumn, Nine Inch Nails, Depeche Mode. Heh... oh well. I love my music. I don't give a fuck if people judge me for it.

Obviously no-one will judge you here for what music you listen to Or are you talking about real life?

Maybe its just me, but I find gloomy music just makes me feel worse when I'm depressed - I usually listen to some fast-paced, rocking stuff. Of course it might be different for you

[Ravenheart]

I just meant in general. I didn't mean anyone specifically.

For me, oddly, depressing music cheers me up. I don't know why. I guess just knowing someone else is or was feeling down gives me a sense of consolation. I dunno, I'm weird like that.

[lonestar]

Raven, there is nothing wrong with that. I do it too.  Having someone,especially an artist you enjoy, echo your own emotions gives them credence. Go with it.

[Ravenheart]

Absolutely. Trent Reznor kept me from blowing my brains out in middle and high school. I think connecting with music is a wonderful thing.

[dethklok09]

For some reason I actually like depressing music when i'm depressed. I dunno I guess its comforting to know your not alone

[MasterShakezula]

When I'm feeling down, I sleep.  When I wake up, I then walk for a couple hours, or listen go some upbeat jazz.  Or Pink Floyd.

[lonestar]

Peter Nichols of IQ did the same thing for me 20 years ago, and I still grow and develop every time I listen. Just make a concious effort to come out of the music more concious of what troubles you, dont let it make you dwell on the downside of things.

[dongringo]

For me, oddly, depressing music cheers me up. I don't know why. I guess just knowing someone else is or was feeling down gives me a sense of consolation. I dunno, I'm weird like that.

It makes sense actually. It's like Steven Wilson said when asked why he writes such sad music. He mentioned that like him, there are others who find beauty in sadness.

As far as suicide, sometimes people who are suicidal minimize the effect it would have on others. My twin brother has tried to commit suicide 13 times now and almost succeeded each and every time. The last time was only a month ago and he was in the hospital in a coma for two weeks. The last few years have been brutal to say the least. Every time he tries it, I can hardly function and it effects my work and every other aspect of my life. It has given me extreme anxiety and has given me depression problems myself. Every time he ends up in the hospital, I feel like I've died a little more. His wife and daughter have also been effected to the point that both of them have developed anxiety disorder and depression as well. If he dies, it would be devastating for all of us and I don't think I would be able to go on. My life would turn from living to just existing. Please think of those who love you. And I know there are people who do. Suicide is the ultimate selfish act.

[ACID_FOX]

[Ħ]

The only reason I haven't commit suicide yet is because I'm clinging to the hope of God.  Without him I don't think there's much purpose for anything, so why suffer.

[Super Dude]

From a "friend" of mine who was determined at the beginning of this summer to patch things up between us.  We've been engaged in a number of political debates since then.  Names have been replaced for anonymity.

Hey SD,

 

So, I was talking to Derp earlier, and I told him how we are talking again. He, as I, was happy to hear that. So, naturally I touched upon why you unfriended me in the first place: the past. Although we really didn’t get too deep into detail, it got me thinking about something I found to be interesting, and perhaps something for you to think about. Although you say history is something we can learn from, is nonetheless irrelevant to analyzing the present, I strongly disagree. The whole economics, history, and other such fields would strongly disagree with you on this point as well. But the one industry, which I want to touch upon in this email, which would strongly disagree with you, is the psychological industry.

Although I do not have a phd in psychology, I have known enough people majoring in it, I speak with a psychologist regularly during the school year, and have, surprisingly taken a lot of courses on the subject in both high school and college. Also, let us not forget, I do have a lot of background in economics, which is, by definition, a study of human action (psychological/sociological/etc). But to stay on point, the psychological industry would highly disagree with you because analyzing people, psychologically, requires knowledge of a person’s past, because the past of necessity influences their future behavior (i.e. how you were raised is a very strong indicator of how you will turn out in the future as an individual).

So, as the subject suggests, I wish to briefly talk about the dreaded “middle school days” and how that, I feel, has affected you today. I am going to, as I always request of you, stay very objective, stick to the factual actions that I have observed and also point to the speculations I have made.

Now, before I continue, let me point out that nothing in this email is to bash you in any way, I just thought this analysis was interesting and that perhaps you could get something out of it; if not, toss it and forget it.

So, as we know, your middle school days were pretty rough. I think it would be fair to say you were bullied at School and, from what I understand, and during high school as well. So, what is bullying? Well, according to the dictionary definition, to bully someone is to “use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.” I know that myself and others (Herp, Sherpa, etc) all teased you and had you do some silly things, just because you were easy to convince in this manner. Now, although you weren’t physically bullied, at least not by us (i.e. hung upside for your lunch money lol), you were emotionally bullied and forced into situations you probably would have wished you could’ve stayed away from. I don’t know exactly about high school, but perhaps you were but I don’t know.

In any case, you were clearly bullied at one time. Now, you can disagree with me, but I can, with certainty, tell you that the core ideology and belief behind a bully’s actions relies on force and control. These actions and beliefs may arise from a certain trigger, perhaps insecurities, peer pressure, etc, but nonetheless bullies are driven, philosophically, by control.

So, what did you do, per my observations, when you were bullied? Whom did you seek for comfort? Your parents. Your parents were your authority figures, who guided you intellectually during these times of bullying. I remember the situation at lunch one day when Herp took a joke too far, which sent you running to the office, crying to your mom that you didn’t want to return to school. My speculation is that you felt, amid all the bullying, your parents were your only true friends, the ones who never turned their back on you and never picked on you; this grew a great trust and sense of security for them.

So, you can tell me whether or not I missed something above, but let move on to the present day, and where does psychology play a role? Well, I can tell you from all my classes in psychology, human action, talking with a psychologist regularly, having multiple friends going into the field, using pure logic, and even watching educational shows and reading/hearing stories about the subject, that not always but a trend one can see amongst those who were bullied at a young age, end up being the bullies when they are older. Now, am I calling you a bully, in the social connotation of the word? No. Do I think that you go around, shoving people into lockers, taking their lunch money? No. But what have I, personally, observed over the years? And I am not just referring to today with your current political beliefs, I am referring to many different scenarios when I say that I have observed the same deep rooted belief in your outlook on life that would be found in a bully: control. I shall explain in a minute, but I have also observed that strong tie between you and authority that closely resembles that tie you had with your parents while being bullied.

First for control. This one can best be explained through the example of political beliefs, so I shall briefly touch upon that. We have our political difference, but lets be blunt here when talking about the specific difference: I believe in letting people live their lives how they wish, so long as they allow others to do the same. You, on the other hand, believe that whatever you have conjured up as being “correct,” you wish to see those beliefs be enforced through the coercion of the state. Again, lets be honest here, for a world to resemble your political beliefs, of necessity, you would have to force people to comply to your standards, no questions asked. You don’t want to pay taxes? Too bad. You wish to discriminate in your, privately owned protected by property rights, business? Too bad, I don’t agree so you’re not allowed. Oh, you don’t want to pay for government health care? Too bad, Obamacare here we come. And what happens if I don’t comply? I can probably expect to see armed federal agents pounding down my door to take me away to jail. And for what? Because I didn’t comply with your, let me emphasize YOUR, beliefs. Etc etc etc… You are for high regulation. Despite the fact, and you can fact check me on this, that the government has been dishing out 80,000 new pages of regulations over our lives, annually, on average, you wish that number to be higher. And, not surprisingly, a synonym for control (to get back to the bullying subject), is regulate.

When I ask you for your objective, provable justifications for your beliefs, you answer with “it just feels right to me.” When I say, “doesn’t it bother you that you have very little to no experience in the fields of study necessary to properly understand politics (i.e. business, finance, economics)?” You say no, and don’t show any indication of challenging not only the status quo in Washington, but the status quo in your mind. I am going to be blunt here again, but I don’t care how good your subjective justification is. I don’t care how warm and tingly you feel about your beliefs. Relatively, let me emphasize relatively, speaking I know for a fact I have more reason to be confident in my beliefs over you and your beliefs. If you don’t agree on this point, it would be like saying, Shithead should be more confident than the MD at Huron Valley Hospital about how to perform an operation on someone… This doesn’t make sense. I emphasized relatively because I am, by no means, a phd or a decades of experience backed economist. However, compared to you, I know I understand the field better than you. Again, this doesn’t mean I am right on everything, but in terms of being able to walk away and say, “hey, that person is experienced in what they’re talking about,” I surely have more experience than you in the supporting fields (economics, business, finance, etc).

So, why did I rant about all of that? This leads to my next point. Despite the clear disparity between our experience levels, you insist your beliefs are sound. To step aside from economics and politics for a second, I point to another scenario that occurred just before I was banned from your house years ago. We were down in your basement and talking about your fitness goals. To make a long story short, you told me your goals (gain muscle, burn fat) and I was like, “Great! Good for you.” Then I asked, “Hey! What’s your nutrition look like? You have got to be eating a lot of protein to be building up those muscles.” You replied, “Well, I have 4 meals over the course of a 16 hour day. I have a bowl of cereal in the morning, nothing big, and some apple juice. Then I have a salad for lunch. Then I work out, then a couple of hours later, I have a chicken breast and some rice for dinner, and then an hour before bed I have some healthy yogurt.” Now, I may have got some of the specific meals wrong, but the point is that you had 4 small ass meals, with only one meal really delivering any amount of protein in your day. I said, “Super Dude! You have got to eat way more than that, not nearly as much as I eat, but you got to eat more than that! Especially on the protein, you are getting like nothing…” Your response? “Well, my dad scheduled it for me and, well, you see my dad, he’s strong. So I know this will work.” Then we bickered for a bit, with it ending off in me going… “Ooook SD, we’ll see how far that gets you.” Hitherto, this was coming from a guy who was packing on muscle weekly, and although I wasn’t doing cardio to burn any fat, I think I kind of knew what I was talking about. But that’s fine, you have the right to do what you want. My point on this one is that I have noticed, and not just from this situation alone, that if your parents said anything about anything, not only did you follow it to a tee but also you immediately believed it. In terms of your outlook on life, I see this connection with our national authority, the federal government. It seems as if, despite factual opposition to things, you will take what the administration says, and you will take it to the grave, that is of course so long as it is from a liberal leader.

 

Now, I am going to wrap this up because its already horridly long, but I just thought I would share with you these thoughts. After pondering about your past, I realized the connection. And this runs true for anyone, your past plays a big role in your how you develop into the future. My parents told me at age 12, “If you want anything of importance to a teenager, i.e. a CAR, when you turn 16, you might want to start working now, because we sure as hell are not getting one for you.” Thus, I became independent at the age of 12 and started working at a bowling alley, below minimum wage, under the table pay, every weekend, sometimes pushing 25 hours. But the reason I became independent was because those incentives were put in place. I then pursued my self interest (I want a car when I turn 16) and bit the bullet to start working at age 12, something no one else was doing at that age. Today, I always have money on hand, a paid for car, I buy everything I need, I started my own business, and I am an independent, productive individual in society.

 

So, again, you can take this and ponder it yourself. You can say, wow Shithead nice story, and delete it, it doesn’t matter. But I know the matter of bullying in the past poses big issues for you, so I thought I would share my psychological take on it because I see a correlation, and maybe you will too.

 

Talk to you soon.


               
               
Thanks,

Shithead

I would just like to point out from the get-go that the political ideas he accuses me of having are completely mischaracterized.  I never said someone should be forced at gunpoint to prescribe to government programs.

[73109]

Question...

Does it matter?

[Super Dude]

No, but it's incredibly hurtful.  And this was all from a guy who claimed to have realized he was abrasive and hurtful in his discourse and was trying to tone it down.

[73109]

If the dudes a cock, there's no reason to be upset. He's accusing you of being a bully because you were bullied. If this isn't the case, fuck em.