The Depressed/Angry Thread.

[bout to crash]

Crap, I don't remember how to do  +

[AcidLameLTE]

[bout to crash]

THANK YOU

[sonatafanica]

While at my friend's house a girl we knew from high school paid a visit. She asked about my ex and I told her in as few words as possible that we weren't together anymore. She was absolutely appalled, because she had been childhood friends with her and more distant as the years went on since the first grade, but they were still always friends.

I do not know whether to take comfort in her words or not, but she said, "Sonata, I've known her almost my whole life, and I know for a fact that you're the best thing that happened to her."


Gah I wish I could sleep this off. I sound like a broken record just "blah blah my breakup" and I assure you it would SO be over with if I thought it was just a stupid high schooler relationship.

[AwakeFromOctavarium]

First off, I live in Asia. I refuse to tell which country, though.

This have been bugging me recently. I go to this private high school whose tuition fee is one of the highest in the country. I've got this friend who's not financially well off. But his parents worked really hard to send him to the school. He is one of my few best friends, someone I actually trust (not to the fullest, btw). We are senior highschool students, btw.

So yeah, the school started this month and strangely, he did not show up. Well my class weren't really worried at first, because not many students show up on the first day. But then we realized his name was not on the classlist. That could mean only one thing; he did not enroll. We started contacting him, asking him why he did not enroll and stuff. And as expected, he didn't have the money to pay the tuition.

We also learned that he had a debt of about 4000 US Dollars to the school. It was actually accumulated through out his school life, and the school finally got irritated and they refused to admit him to the senior year. Pretty understandable, actually, but the dude's got dreams too.

Our class is trying to pay the debt for him, which I doubt will work out. I'm actually on the side of "Don't help the helpless poor", but hell, when it comes to friendship, the situation's entirely different. Hope he can graduate with us.

[AcidLameLTE]

...that's amazing that you guys are doing that for him. I hope everything works out

[blackngold29]

...that's amazing that you guys are doing that for him. I hope everything works out

Agreed, your actions are something to be very un-depressed about.

[Jamesman42]

I am oh so depressed right now. *lays down on cold, hard floor*

lolz

[ReaperKK]

It's alright man, I'll join, I'm feeling quite shitty and I"m drowning my sorrows in beer

[Jamesman42]

Isn't it funny? We find our comforts and refuges in different things, but we all hurt.

[ReaperKK]

Yea, it's very true, usually I write but I've had such a long day I'm just on the couch watching Pulp Fiction and drinking.

What ales you my friend?

[icysk8r]

way way way in here. Have been in here. Forever. Getting deeper in here though. gah.  What makes life suck so much?  And I'm tired of these assholes saying "You can be hapy if you choose too"  blah blah fucking blah.  Maybe I could be?  But man, shit has happened.  Shit has happened that has changed me.  I know it. My friends know it. Everyone knows it.  Not everyone knows what changed me because I don't tell everyone what changed me.  All I know is that I went from a semi-happy kid with confidence who wnated to become a drummer, to a depressed slob who has no hope for the future.  One who every day wishes he could bring himself to end it all.  One who goes to therapy and has to watch what he says because he knows he's a few steps away from getting commited.  One who speaks in the third person (wait, lol) 
Needless to say I'm fucked up.

And I HATE when people say "You're only 15, what could you have gone through.  A broken heart? Lost girlfriend? Unrequited love?" No, assholes.  I've felt more pain than you'v e probably felt your whole life. (This isn't talking to you guys, this is adressed to those who belittle every fucking problem I have)

No this wasn't for attention, I'm just in a mood to write it all out. None of my friends are online.  I needed to vent.  Sorry if this is all bothering you or you think I'm trying to get attention.  You didn't have to read it.


tl/dr: I'm fucked up.

[Sintheros]

Too late, I read it. And who's to say you're fucked up? Maybe all the people who belittle you are and you're perfectly normal. Because normal's entirely relative. There are probably thousands of people in the world who feel just like you do with similar circumstances but just believe they're alone because they think their problem is unique enough that it's infeasible that there's someone else suffering the same way you are. I'm speaking from experience, mind you.

EDIT: And I have the solution to said problem yet I lack the spine to do it.

[icysk8r]

I just don't get why everything has to happen in such a short ammount of time.  Literally if you would be talking to me a year ago, I would be (maybe not the happiest, but...) a lot happier than now.  I don't see light of it getting any better, either.  I feel like more shit is going to happen to make me depressed. More is gonna happen that's just gonna knock me down. I know the saying when youget knocked down you get right back up but I'm sick of constantly getting back up.  how long can someone take a beating from life before they decide to give up>?  I know I'm on the brink(coheed reference) of giving it all up.  For some reason there is so me part of me that is clinging to something.  I don't know what I'm clicnging to. I have nothing left.  (Also, I hate when people tell me I have too much to be depressed becase my parents are relatively financially stable.  That doesn't mean jack-shit to me.)
I gues maybe I'm clinging to the last tiny shred of hope that I can make a difference in this world.

I think if I was christian I'd be dead right now.  That's another reason I don't off myself.  I don't believe there's anything after this.
Like I don't want to live with all of this pain anymore, but I don't want to die either.  Limbo party!

[Sintheros]

If I had one goal in life, it'd be to have someone remember me when I'm gone. Some legacy. Narcissistic, I know, but I don't want everything to be for nothing in the long run. Suicide gets you no legacy past your close relatives and a small mention in the newspaper.

[icysk8r]

If I had one goal in life, it'd be to have someone remember me when I'm gone. Some legacy. Narcissistic, I know, but I don't want everything to be for nothing in the long run. Suicide gets you no legacy past your close relatives and a small mention in the newspaper.

Yeah, but at least there's no more pain. I try so hard not to feel anything anymore that it keeps escalating to bigger and bigger things to numb myself.

[Sintheros]

Except you wouldn't be around to welcome the lack of pain, so what's the point? You're much better off waiting for things to look up again, which they probably will given either time or effort depending on the situation. Nothing's permanent really except death, so why miss the opportunity to turn things around?

[AwakeFromOctavarium]

My goal as a teenager is to be as happy as possible, so maybe in 50 years when I look back and say to myself, "Did I live a happy life?" I'll be able to reply, "Yes. A lot of shit happened in my life, but I ultimately had a happier life than most people out there."

Whenever I experience depression, my cure is a change of thought. I say to myself, "This is just temporary. My life isn't shit. Remember the good times. I had more happy times than times like this." Because I know, I know that when I'm out of depression, my life will be full of joy again and I won't remember much about my bad times.

I feel weird while typing this. I am a pessimist when I'm in my mood, and an optimist when I feel shitty.

[icysk8r]

My goal as a teenager is to be as happy as possible, so maybe in 50 years when I look back and say to myself, "Did I live a happy life?" I'll be able to reply, "Yes. A lot of shit happened in my life, but I ultimately had a happier life than most people out there."

Whenever I experience depression, my cure is a change of thought. I say to myself, "This is just temporary. My life isn't shit. Remember the good times. I had more happy times than times like this." Because I know, I know that when I'm out of depression, my life will be full of joy again and I won't remember much about my bad times.

I feel weird while typing this. I am a pessimist when I'm in my mood, and an optimist when I feel shitty.

The problem with me is that I can't look back at happy thoughts and be happy and optimistic.  I look back at happy thoughts longing to re-experience them. Longing for things to be the way they used to be.  the thought that I will never be the same as I was back then depresses me.  I think of how naive I used to be.  How stupidly happy I was.  Now although I might have a little more life-experience, what was the cost?  My happiness.

[Sintheros]

I'd love for blissful ignorance like back when I was younger and didn't have to worry about the things I have no choice but to worry about now. I'm sure a lot of people do. That doesn't mean that there won't be better times in the future though if you give it a chance.

[AwakeFromOctavarium]

I'd love for blissful ignorance like back when I was younger and didn't have to worry about the things I have no choice but to worry about now. I'm sure a lot of people do. That doesn't mean that there won't be better times in the future though if you give it a chance.

I agree. We have to start appreciating small things, and don't be overly anxious about things around us. Worry = Self-Torture

[sonatafanica]

I really need to get out of whatever this is. The entire 18th year of my life was practically wasted from being depressed all the time. These are supposed to be fun times, but they are reaaaly not. I hate that I don't have many friends. I hate that people are mean to me. I hate to know that I'm creative and funny and it comes from feeling like this.

But nothing will change until I make it change.

[In The Wake Of Poseidon]

Ever since I was little I've had trust issues with just about nearly everyone I meet. Even with my closest friends, I can't seem to shake feelings that they might actually dislike me. Every few years I seem to hang around with a different circle of friends because I eventually just detach myself from the old ones. It gets so bad that I begin to feel resentment towards those closest to me. I am always suspicious that they might be talking about me behind my back, or that they just keep me around for monetary reasons. I am up at 2am because I can't go to bed because I can't shake these feelings of distrust. It drives me fucking crazy because I know I'm being irrational, but I still am so emotionally effected.

[ZBomber]

Ever since I was little I've had trust issues with just about nearly everyone I meet. Even with my closest friends, I can't seem to shake feelings that they might actually dislike me. Every few years I seem to hang around with a different circle of friends because I eventually just detach myself from the old ones. It gets so bad that I begin to feel resentment towards those closest to me. I am always suspicious that they might be talking about me behind my back, or that they just keep me around for monetary reasons. I am up at 2am because I can't go to bed because I can't shake these feelings of distrust. It drives me fucking crazy because I know I'm being irrational, but I still am so emotionally effected.

Wow, that sounds eerily similar to me. Not so much anymore, but this was exactly me about a year ago.

[bout to crash]

I really need to get out of whatever this is. The entire 18th year of my life was practically wasted from being depressed all the time. These are supposed to be fun times, but they are reaaaly not. I hate that I don't have many friends. I hate that people are mean to me. I hate to know that I'm creative and funny and it comes from feeling like this.

But nothing will change until I make it change.

Doesn't sound too far from my 18th year (okay, maybe my 16th, 17th, and 19th too). You're right; you're the only one who can make it change. It's just a matter of figuring out how you can get to the place where change is possible. It's different for all of us.

From my experience, it doesn't help to think about how things are "supposed" to be. I don't personally believe in fate or whatever you might call it, but I do believe that things happen for a reason that we might not figure out until later. I was miserable for a long time, but my misery eventually brought me good things, like friends and experiences I learned and grew from. So, I don't know if this helps, but I don't believe any time is wasted because something always comes out of it. Whatever you gain from what you're going through now will help you when you're ready for change and for the rest of your life. 

Also, just because 18 sucked doesn't mean the years after have to suck, and that's all that really matters. What's done is done and you take that with you and make the best of it.

[icysk8r]

You see, I trust people with my life.  I'm an open book to my friends in that regard.  But when it comes to feeling like they're my friend, I constantly feel like I'm being replaced by another or like they don't want to be my friend.  So in some areas I trust, some I don't.

[Hyperplex]

I've been really depressed lately. I think the majority of it stems from three factors: my perception of the friendships in my life, the behavior of two of my coworkers and the fact that my parents' divorce is to become final tomorrow.

[Marvellous G]

Maybe it's because I'm going full swing in my whiny teenager phase, but I just can't stop arguing with my mum about stupid little things. But then as my 20 year old sister says with the benefit of hindsight, our family works best from a distance.

[ReaperKK]

I've been really depressed lately. I think the majority of it stems from three factors: my perception of the friendships in my life, the behavior of two of my coworkers and the fact that my parents' divorce is to become final tomorrow.

Sorry to hear about the divorce. My parents went through a divorce when I was 15 but in the end it turned out better. Especially for my mom, she had a rough few years because she loved my dad but now she is way more happy and more emotionally stable. It made her a stronger woman.

What is it about friendships that is keeping you down.

I'm going through a pretty rough time right now. I'm making money, doing what I love, no debt but my relationships with people closest to me have deteriorated to almost nothing and it's not for lack of trying on my part.

[AwakeFromOctavarium]

I've been really depressed lately. I think the majority of it stems from three factors: my perception of the friendships in my life, the behavior of two of my coworkers and the fact that my parents' divorce is to become final tomorrow.

Really sorry to hear about the divorce too. Good thing it happened when you were a bit aged. Guess what could have happened if they got divorced when you were like, 5.

Relationships are really the universal cause of depression. Nothing else, I guess. We'd like to hear details, if you don't mind.

As of now, my only source of stress is keeping up with my school works. Easy life I'm having as of now.

[Hyperplex]

My parents' divorce had been coming for 30 of the 36 years they were married. I have not the energy nor the space to go into those details. Suffice it to say, it takes two to screw it up but all love was gone. My mother left my dad a week after my wife and I returned from our honeymoon. We all knew it was coming (except for my father) but it was still a blow. Thursday after the settlement, my father called me bragging & full of joy that he "is no longer married to my mother." It's just hard for me to hear how out of love he is.

As for relationships, I don't really know where to begin. On this community, I seem to be repected but in real life things don't feel the same, especially when it comes to my coworkers. While for the most part I don't care what other people think, if the reactions/attitudes follow me everywhere, it's difficult to not believe that the common denominator is me, not everyone else. And that is not a confidence builder.

[Marvellous G]

Goddam, exams finished two days ago and I should be over the moon but I'm already depressed as I see how little of a social life I have compared to other sixteen year olds, and how I know only a handful of girls outside of school, none of whom are possible girlfriends. The summer when you're 16 is meant to be about parties and girls, but mine is not.

[icysk8r]

Goddam, exams finished two days ago and I should be over the moon but I'm already depressed as I see how little of a social life I have compared to other sixteen year olds, and how I know only a handful of girls outside of school, none of whom are possible girlfriends. The summer when you're 16 is meant to be about parties and girls, but mine is not.

I have no social life either other than at school mostly because I don't live near any of my friends.  Although this year I am making more of an effort and asking people to hang out.

[Marvellous G]

Goddam, exams finished two days ago and I should be over the moon but I'm already depressed as I see how little of a social life I have compared to other sixteen year olds, and how I know only a handful of girls outside of school, none of whom are possible girlfriends. The summer when you're 16 is meant to be about parties and girls, but mine is not.

I have no social life either other than at school mostly because I don't live near any of my friends.  Although this year I am making more of an effort and asking people to hang out.

I have a pretty active social life with quite a lot of friends, but I'm not out partying or anything, and none of said friends are girls.  I hopefully shouldn't be at a loss for stuff to do with people this summer, it's just I'd rather be out at a club with some girls than at Thorpe Park with my friends or something, which is shallow, but... meh.

[Super Dude]

Here's something to actually get down about: the gradual realization that the US could turn into a failed state in the next 20 or so years is a very real possibility.