The Depressed/Angry Thread.

[ReaperKK]

Sex about twice a week would be the cure for me.  Everything else in my life is pretty good.  The one thing I'm missing seems to be the hardest to get.  What does a guy have to do these days to get a little lovin'?   

Start trying to pick up some ladies, if all else fails then you're right where you are now. I had some casual sex going with a girl last semester.

[Dublagent66]

Sex about twice a week would be the cure for me.  Everything else in my life is pretty good.  The one thing I'm missing seems to be the hardest to get.  What does a guy have to do these days to get a little lovin'?   

Start trying to pick up some ladies, if all else fails then you're right where you are now. I had some casual sex going with a girl last semester.

That's what's so depressing.  I'm not a pick up artist.  I might need a personality transplant first.   

[ReaperKK]

I'm the same way but you have to get out there and be yourself and make some conversation. You'll only get better at talking to girl.

[icysk8r]

Hey guys.

[bout to crash]

I'm more angry than depressed right now. One of those bittersweet days... but I am angry because I have felt consistently disrespected by my mother, who does not take me seriously when I ask her to. Everything just gets brushed away as no big deal, and she is very careless. When I ask her to respect my wishes and do something for me the way I want it, she won't.

Today's example: I asked her to send my Six Feet Under box set to Colorado because I wanted to share some of it with my class (plus I just wanted it because I love the show). This is the expensive gift set that comes in a very cool box with turf on top (looks like grass and dirt- https://www.amazon.com/Six-Feet-Under-Complete-Gift/dp/B000HEVZBW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1274234303&sr=8-2)... they don't make it anymore, so I asked her to PLEASE package it carefully and put it in a box/make sure it was padded on all sides and didn't move around. I mean, it's a fucking cardboard box; it's not invincible. I gave her careful instructions knowing how she usually is, she said okay, and I received it today wrapped in paper and tape, no box or any kind of padding. The paper was ripped open and the box is seriously fucked up. The front is ripped off and it's falling apart on all sides. Several of the discs were loose and the plastic was broken so they're not secure anymore.

It's not about the damn box. Yes, I am pissed about that. It's very cool, it was fucking expensive and it means a lot to me. It's my favorite damn show and one of the only ones I've ever followed. But fuck that, it won't look the same but it can be fixed. The problem is the complete lack of respect for what I asked and a disregard for my feelings. I was very clear about it; I even told her I would pay for shipping, etc. (she said not to worry about it, now I understand why)... but she still just did what she wanted, not thinking about how it was important to me or what might happen to it.

She has been doing things like this, big and small, for as long as I can remember. The most glaring example is the situation with my abusive bullying fucking brother that she seems to think is not as serious as I do. Rather than hold him accountable for what he does, she just gets mad for a few minutes and then acts like nothing happened and lets him do the same shit over and over again with no consequences. Despite all he's done, the fucking loser is still living in her house at 29 and leeching off of her because he's too mentally unstable to keep a job or anything of that nature. Nothing will ever change without him going into residential treatment or something of that nature, but she has no backbone, he's her son and she can't do it.

Last week when I asked her to send me this DVD set, she said "I can't get to the post office until Saturday, but I'm sure Joe will do it if you ask him." Meanwhile, she damn well knows he is blocked from all of my email addresses for harassing me and threatening me (this only happened a few weeks ago)! She wants me to ask him a favor? As if there's not enough of a power imbalance there? I got upset and told her it was unfair to ask me to do that, and she said "Ok, you didn't need to have a hissy fit lol"

Wtf?? Every time I try to open up and tell her how I feel, I get brushed off (and apparently laughed at), so what's the fucking point? I had planned on sending her a letter about the whole situation to try and help her understand why it affects me so much, but what the fuck is the point? It just makes me nauseous to be brushed aside like this by my own mother. Makes me remember why I'm fucking 1800 miles away, but right now that doesn't help.

[sonatafanica]

That is some rough stuff, girl.

[bout to crash]

Yep 
I'm not as upset as I was before (yay for venting) but it's so fucking frustrating... and it's true, I know she loves me but  I feel like when it comes to certain things she really doesn't give a shit and that really hurts.

[Adami]

Yep 
I'm not as upset as I was before (yay for venting) but it's so fucking frustrating... and it's true, I know she loves me but  I feel like when it comes to certain things she really doesn't give a shit and that really hurts.

And no matter how much you want to walk away and wash your hands, you're not going to, it's just not possible.

[bout to crash]

I know, that's what makes it so frustrating. You can't pick and choose the good and bad parts of your relationships or peoples' personalities... but you can choose how close you stay to them and how much of a part of your life they are... which is why I completely ignore my brother. I don't want to ignore my mother, but I guess there are just things I can't talk to her about. Every relationship is like that, but considering what those things are in this case it really hurts. I want to be able to tell her how something affects me and feel heard, but I guess it's not going to happen. One thing I can do is NOT pass that on, because judging by how my grandparents were it was probably similar for her.

I gave myself a night to chill out before I contacted her about the DVD thing, but was still angry this morning when I sent her a text basically saying I expect to be reimbursed if Tony can't fix it and I can't believe she did that when I asked her to make sure it was well-protected. I'll probably get a one word answer and change of subject , totally minimizing the whole thing

[ReaperKK]

Sorry to hear that but it's so true what you said about how to much you let people be a part of your life. The whole disrespect thing sounded very similar to something my dad and I went through a few years back, since that moment I cut him completely out of my life and while the situation sucks, I couldn't be happier because I'm not having to deal with him.

[bout to crash]

Yeah, I have definitely seen situations like that when it works out for the better. For the most part my mother and I have a good relationship but this is a serious issue, especially when it comes to my brother. She just can't set boundaries with him, even if everyone (especially me) suffers from it. He needs to be cut off until he gets serious help, which is why I blocked him from email, etc. But in the summer I have to go back to NJ and will inevitably have to deal with him in some way even if I don't stay at that house 

Anyway, my mother responded to me asking what happened because she thought the box was okay. I told her it was packaged terribly and what happened to it. She apologized, at least. I asked her to take me seriously the next time  ask her to do something like that, but if I ever need anything fragile/valuable again I will most likely beg Tony to pick it up and send it for me (he is extra cautious about that stuff but lives kinda far from my mom) or just wait until I go back there to get it. Ahhh. I hate having two "homes" and having to go back and forth.

[ReaperKK]

You're in school in Colorado right? If you're going to be there for some time, maybe consider moving as much as you can.

Hell when I moved 2 hours away I moved everything so I didn't have to be back except for the holidays maybe.

[bout to crash]

Yeah, well my program is only another year and I don't have any set plans yet... so it would kind of suck to move everything and then decide to come back east, so I'll probably wait and see what happens when I graduate (if I get a job here, etc). I have too much crap 

[Jamesman42]

Hey guys.

Hey bro, what's up?

[AwakeFromOctavarium]

Reading this thread makes me depressed.

I seem to have a case opposite of Boba's. My parents fully respect me. They treat me really well, and give me all the freedom and joy I can experience at my age. They are really, super cool. Probably the only people on earth that I truly respect.

But all the freedom I earn from them keeps bothering me greatly. Our family is not rich, maybe a middle class family. But my parents managed to send me abroad to study. It's not an affordable thing of course, but they worked their asses off, and still working really hard, to pay the expenses. For the last few years, I was completely ignorant of their efforts, mainly because I was young. I spent quite a lot of money. Of course there were times when I got worried of my excessive spendings, and when I inquired my parents about it, all they said was that it was alright, and they had enough money to support me until I graduate from college. They were lying.

The pressure. God, the pressure. They are too good to me, too good for me to bear. I always wish the time would fly away until I could make my own livings, and start repaying what my parents have done for me. I'll probably never fully repay what they have done.

Ugh I think I'm gonna stop. Thinking about them is just painful.

[Marvellous G]

AwakeFromOctavarium, it sounds like your parents are the kind of people that would want you to enjoy what they had done for you instead of worry about repayment. I know that's the obvious consolation answer, but you really shouldn't feel bad about having parents that care for you so much. Sure you can cut down on spending a bit, and while it's none of my business it might be an idea to do so as it seems like it would make you feel better, but you shouldn't squander this opportunity by worrying about what it's costing your parents. Basically, don't feel so bad, it's not like you're blowing it on drugs or something, you're living abroad which is a great, courageous move!

On my own slightly less depressing note, GCSEs begin tomorrow. Woop.

[bout to crash]

What he said... but your situation is not the opposite of mine, to be fair to my mother. My parents have been very supportive of most of what I do, financially and emotionally... but this is one area where my mother seriously lacks.

[sonatafanica]

I just don't see why I can't get over this break up. It happened months and months ago and I just can't do it. I'm sad and crying all the time. I don't get it.


Trust me, I got over my first girlfriend really quickly when she broke up with me. Because I took a look at it and realized it was just stupid high school love. But this....I really cared a lot about this girl. I am just sick of being depressed and I'm just wondering when something good will happen to at least take my mind off of it. I wish I at least was given a reason as to why she did this. I can't stand feeling like this anymore, something has to happen soon. I can't take it I can't take it I can't take it

[Slain]

This girl and I went out for 2 years, we kind of rushed into things, and both got to the point where we really lost our own selves as individuals and we broke up. A side note would be that she has depression/ocd/anxiety disorder (obviously important for what comes next) I realized that I really did love her, and want to be with her, and we started dating again around 2 years (ish) after we broke up. We both thought we'd grown as people, and that we'd become more of "individuals" than we were before.

Things were going well, and a turn for the worse came. Her medication stopped working, and her depression and anxiety started to get really bad. She started getting angry at everyone, getting distant, acting strange around me (she usually acts normal/like herself around me), and eventually attempted to commit suicide. And there's a misconception that people try to do it because they want attention, this is NOT one of those cases. She thinks in her head that in some way she'd be doing people a favor, which is completely untrue. She was sent to a Psychiatric ward for a week or two, and I visited every day for as long as they'd allow. In a way we grew closer than ever, I stayed over at her house when her family wasn't there to be with her, anytime she needed it...

But over the past few weeks she hasn't been herself. She hasn't been enjoying anything, and I can't tell you how difficult it is to talk to someone when they literally believe they'll leave nothing important behind. And when they literally see no reason to live anymore, and are emotionless about it. She went from saying how much she loved me and appreciated me, to not even caring what I did, or about me at all. I'm afraid I'll most likely become a "trigger" to her depression, and eventually bringing me up at all will bring her back to a bad feeling (Since I've been someone that became "associated" with it, intentional or not) so I've pretty much screwed myself over.

 She broke up with me a few days ago, saying it's not a good time, and she doesn't want anyone. There's nothing I can do except leave her alone, as difficult as that is. I just might not be able to get close to her again. Well, thanks for reading this horribly depressing post, we aren't talking anymore (for her sake, not mine) and I'm not in too good of a mood.

[EPICVIEW]

cheer up everyone!!

[sonatafanica]

no i'm sad leave me alone i hate you

[tri.ad]

cheer up everyone!!

 

[Sigz]

Hey, he's trying to be nice, cut him some slack.

[sonatafanica]

i hate slack too

if you get too much slack you can hang yourself

[EPICVIEW]

Ok..now im sad too..: (

[AcidLameLTE]

You bullies.

[tri.ad]

Hey, he's trying to be nice, cut him some slack.

Yeah, because telling people who posted in this thread and partially are seriously depressed to cheer up, while obviously not having read this thread, is totally nice, sensible and helpful. Really, Sigz? Come on.

[Sigz]

I didn't say it was the smartest or most tactful thing to say, but it certainly wasn't malicious.

[EPICVIEW]

please accept my apology Tri.ad..I meant no harm.'
I was just trying to say "look on the bright side..
stay positive".
and thank you Sigz!

[tri.ad]

Alright, dude, listen. Sigz might be right about your advice not being malicious, but look at it from a (seriously) depressed person's point of view who might have gotten this kind of advice over and over again (without these words being helpful, of course). Due to the lack of understanding, of willingness to help and of empathy towards the situation (and advice like that is usually driven by it), a depressed person would see some kind of malice in statements like this, even if it wasn't intentional.

If you read this thread, you will come across situations that aren't just the usual "temporary downs" and "angst-filled points of view", situations that can't be helped with a simple "Cheer up" or a "Stay positive". And that is were your advice becomes simply unrealistic and comes across as a generic "all-purpose remedy", which it definitely isn't. Your intentions might have been genuine, but the desired effect will most definitely not occur.

[sonatafanica]

You're kind of being a dick to the guy. He just wished us well.

[bout to crash]

Well, I understand both sides here... tri.ad made some important points, as people who are genuinely depressed are often told to just cheer up and this can make things worse on many levels. EPIC probably didn't realize this and shouldn't be attacked for what he said, but I don't see a problem with making him aware of why what he said might offend some people. Only way to prevent it from happening again is to educate him.
Could the response have been handled a little more tactfully? Maybe, but it came from a genuine and understandable place... and I wouldn't say dick level 

/social worker

[Jamesman42]

Alright, dude, listen. Sigz might be right about your advice not being malicious, but look at it from a (seriously) depressed person's point of view who might have gotten this kind of advice over and over again (without these words being helpful, of course). Due to the lack of understanding, of willingness to help and of empathy towards the situation (and advice like that is usually driven by it), a depressed person would see some kind of malice in statements like this, even if it wasn't intentional.

If you read this thread, you will come across situations that aren't just the usual "temporary downs" and "angst-filled points of view", situations that can't be helped with a simple "Cheer up" or a "Stay positive". And that is were your advice becomes simply unrealistic and comes across as a generic "all-purpose remedy", which it definitely isn't. Your intentions might have been genuine, but the desired effect will most definitely not occur.

OK, you're right, but dude, lately you've been uptight. What's been going on?

[AcidLameLTE]

It's probably because of the Count of Tuscany's brother. He's always making people uptight. No accident.

[Jamesman42]

  I walked right into that one. Down the cellar stairs. I disappear.