Author Topic: The Depressed/Angry Thread.  (Read 252431 times)

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Offline blackngold29

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #70 on: January 30, 2010, 08:43:26 PM »
I was depressed from about 10th grade through my first year of college. I'm now in my third year and thought it was behind me and I was actually doing pretty well. I didn't date anyone in high school, mostly because I wanted to avoid all that high school dating drama bullshit -- not that I got many offers.

So a few months ago I meet this girl who seemed to take an intrest in me. And finally three weeks ago -- after not sleeping for a week -- I get the balls to ask her out and she said yes... and now she's pretty much ignored my existance since then.

I asked her if I did something wrong, she says no, says it's other stuff in her life, but doesn't really cheer up when we're around one another. So I have no fricking clue what I did. I thought her saying no would be the worst, but at least I would know where she stands then. This is just torture.
Are you still going out with her?
I don't really know. She said she would go to a movie, I just had to give her a day. I've asked her a few times and she's always busy. It doesn't even have to be a "date" I just like spending time with her.
I hate when you love someone who just wants to ignore you. If you want some simple advice, dump her, and move on. Unless she starts to ship up, get her out of your life. It's the best thing you can do.
I know that's what I should do, but it's so hard when I care about her as much as I do. It kills me becasue I feel like I'm making her sad and I'd stop asking in a second if she just told me to... but she hasn't, so that still kind of gives me some hope. We work together, so we're kind of forced to talk.
When was the last time you had an extremely deep conversation?
I spent about four hours with her the night I asked her, she was fine then. She said yes, we hugged each good bye and she hasn't said much since. We've talked a few times since then, but only breifly when we were alone and she kept insisting that I hadn't done anything wrong. Her actions are speaking louder though. I'm gonna try a few more times to get her to talk, maybe it really is the other stuff she's worried about; which is part of the reason I want to take her out and get her mind off stuff. I just don't want to frak it up so bad that we can't go back to being friends.
My last girlfriend was very closed off emotionally, she didn't like to talk, she didn't like to vent, she didn't like to tell me stuff. I'm the opposite, I HAVE to tell people stuff, and I NEED to know what is going on in there life. So, if you're like me, her being that closed off is killing you on the inside. Try to get her opened up, and if she can't be, then the relationship is going nowhere, and should be ended, before you hurt yourself more.
Yeah, I definately have to ask her questions to get her to talk, but she has a few times, which is good I guess. I actually am usually pretty quiet too, and I think that's part of why I like her, because she'll actully listen to me. I'm hoping that she's not taking it that all I do is complain though.

Offline sonatafanica

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #71 on: January 30, 2010, 10:20:19 PM »
It really sucks when someone you love never gives you a chance to see them in a good light.







Anyways, as far as I go, I'm pretty much always depressed, frustrated, and lonely. All the time. But it's not so bad, because I also like to write songs, and I think having a constant cloud over me is good for writing music. To any who will understand, and I hope this doesn't come off as sounding stupid or anything, I can really relate myself to Steven Wilson.

Offline bout to crash

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #72 on: January 31, 2010, 12:15:34 AM »
I'm normally okay but when I went back to Jersey in December I got pretty miserable dealing with my asshole brother and came back to CO totally unmotivated. I don't know if depression is quite the right word (I spent a lot of time from age 16-20ish being really depressed) but it's something.

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Offline SilentFox

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #73 on: January 31, 2010, 12:29:52 AM »
A couple people have mentioned Zoloft.  I tried Zoloft for a month, but got off it because I noticed that while it made my emotions stable, it made my emotions boring.  While I was never depressed, I was never ecstatic.  During workouts and running, I would always count on that adhrenaline rush to pull me through, but with Zoloft, that disappeared.  Not even prescribed medications help me...

Hey, all you guys that are depressed, tomorrow is the first of February.  Whaddya say we make a goal to try our hardest to face our problems, just for one month?  Failing with girls, being out of shape, being overweight, being lazy, wasting days away, etc.  Let's try to change all that we can, and be the best we can be, just for this one month!  What say you?

Offline sonatafanica

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #74 on: January 31, 2010, 12:35:29 AM »
I can't write songs about that stuff!

Offline Dark Master Of Sin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #75 on: January 31, 2010, 08:21:57 AM »
A couple people have mentioned Zoloft.  I tried Zoloft for a month, but got off it because I noticed that while it made my emotions stable, it made my emotions boring.  While I was never depressed, I was never ecstatic.  During workouts and running, I would always count on that adhrenaline rush to pull me through, but with Zoloft, that disappeared.  Not even prescribed medications help me...

Hey, all you guys that are depressed, tomorrow is the first of February.  Whaddya say we make a goal to try our hardest to face our problems, just for one month?  Failing with girls, being out of shape, being overweight, being lazy, wasting days away, etc.  Let's try to change all that we can, and be the best we can be, just for this one month!  What say you?
The, uh, biggest problem with being depressed is that it tends to become what you're used to, and makes you completely unmotivated. First thing that came to mind when I read your idea, was dread.
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Offline Marvellous G

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #76 on: January 31, 2010, 10:57:31 AM »
I do often have a lot of fun, but then after I've been out with friends for most of the day I come back and realise the key source of my depression- I'm 16, and I go to an all boys school, and I'm not really in the 'popular crowd' so to speak, so I'm not out partying with girls like I see people in my year doing all the time. I know barely any girls out of school, which is quite sad. My comfort is my sister was the same way until Uni, where she quickly found a boyfriend, so I'm hoping the same will happen for me, but still, to be 16 and not be seeing any girls or out partying kinda sucks.

Offline Tuneman

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #77 on: January 31, 2010, 11:30:02 AM »
Listen im not going to preach because nobody is happy all the time but I think I can help as depression was something I recently "beat".

I hear a lot in this thread about girls. But the creation of this thread is exactly what is wrong. You need to realize that these girls will not make you happy.  Happiness comes from inside, not from someone else. It is a skill you will need to practice.  Start by kicking the stupid habit of punishing yourself by thinking of these girls. It isn't easy, no doubt, but take a practical approach and realize that it is not healthy to think about past girlfriends or fiances.   I know it sounds like a generalization, but the only thing that is wrong here is that you are sad.  If a girl broke your heart it sucks, but then it your fault if you let it continue to be broken.

The only, only thing you can do to shake off the depression is to see that it is a bad habit you need to get rid of.  Practice happiness, do not try to find it in someone else or some job, or experience.  Do not "hope" for someone or something to come along to fix things.  You have all the tools you need.


Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #78 on: January 31, 2010, 11:32:10 AM »
Depression isn't a disease that you "beat". It's a description of how people naturally feel. Some people feel it more so than other people, but at no point should it actually be gone.


But I have a feeling everyone else buys into the whole "only be happy, and if you're not happy, do things that make you happy or take meds". So whatever.
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Offline Marvellous G

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #79 on: January 31, 2010, 11:34:01 AM »
Depression isn't a disease that you "beat". It's a description of how people naturally feel. Some people feel it more so than other people, but at no point should it actually be gone.


But I have a feeling everyone else buys into the whole "only be happy, and if you're not happy, do things that make you happy or take meds". So whatever.

For the record I'm with you here.

Offline antigoon

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #80 on: January 31, 2010, 12:22:57 PM »
I'm usually a pretty happy guy but my health conditions have been taking a toll on my emotions lately. I've been having crazy stomach problems for over a year now, and I'm on a restricted diet which excludes wheat, potatoes, eggs, dairy, beans, and alcohol. It just really sucks having to worry about what I'm going to eat anytime I go out, and when the social lives of your friends revolves around boozing it up on the weekends and you can't, it kind of makes you feel left out.

Meh, at least I have supportive friends and an understanding girlfriend.

Offline lonestar

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #81 on: January 31, 2010, 02:34:30 PM »
Listen im not going to preach because nobody is happy all the time but I think I can help as depression was something I recently "beat".

I hear a lot in this thread about girls. But the creation of this thread is exactly what is wrong. You need to realize that these girls will not make you happy.  Happiness comes from inside, not from someone else. It is a skill you will need to practice.  Start by kicking the stupid habit of punishing yourself by thinking of these girls. It isn't easy, no doubt, but take a practical approach and realize that it is not healthy to think about past girlfriends or fiances.   I know it sounds like a generalization, but the only thing that is wrong here is that you are sad.  If a girl broke your heart it sucks, but then it your fault if you let it continue to be broken.

The only, only thing you can do to shake off the depression is to see that it is a bad habit you need to get rid of.  Practice happiness, do not try to find it in someone else or some job, or experience.  Do not "hope" for someone or something to come along to fix things.  You have all the tools you need.



Good point, though I wouldn't quite classify it as a "habit".  Many sources exist for depression, both external and internal, and thinking of it as something to break may belittle the feeling that some of us have.  You are very correct in stating that looking for an external influence to heal oneself is not the answer,  one cannot completely rely on influences beyond their control for something as vital as the basic construct of their personality.  Solidifying your internal view of yourself is something much more reliable. and having a good sense of self will eventually reflect itself on your day to day life.  Once one is comfortable and happy with themselves, they will seek out a lifestyle that they feel they sre worthy of, and will satisfy their inner sense of need.



A side note to those who do suffer from depression, especially the younger of you.  Please seek out any and all methods of help that you can, you may be suprised to find out how much is actually out there, willing to help, if you only open yourself up a little.  Unfortunatly, a little vulnerability is necessary to walk this long path.  As someone who has battled this for the better part of thirty plus years, I cannot claim to have the answers, but I definatly have the experience, and am always willing to share.  DO NOT bury your depression in drug use.  I spent many years as a meth addict(sober eight years now!!!),  and rode the last couple of those years on the edge of sanity.  Burying it doesn't help, it just hides it away, leaving it to fester and sour even more.  Not saying the occasional beer is bad, but once you are altering your state of mind to not feel normal, or to feel less,  or to feel nothing, you are denying emotional processes that are crucial to healing and eventual well being.  Good luck, and my PM box is always open for discussions.

Offline Dark Master Of Sin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #82 on: January 31, 2010, 02:45:53 PM »
I'm not afraid to talk about how I feel, I just don't trust other people.
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Offline lonestar

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #83 on: January 31, 2010, 02:56:07 PM »
I'm not afraid to talk about how I feel, I just don't trust other people.
Lord knows I feel you.  I always felt that is where the good sense of self comes to play.  It helps to shield you from the actions of others.

Offline Dark Master Of Sin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #84 on: January 31, 2010, 03:11:35 PM »
I'm not afraid to talk about how I feel, I just don't trust other people.
Lord knows I feel you.  I always felt that is where the good sense of self comes to play.  It helps to shield you from the actions of others.
Yeah, that's one of the reasons I have trouble making friends.
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Offline lonestar

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #85 on: January 31, 2010, 03:14:46 PM »
I'm not afraid to talk about how I feel, I just don't trust other people.
Lord knows I feel you.  I always felt that is where the good sense of self comes to play.  It helps to shield you from the actions of others.
Yeah, that's one of the reasons I have trouble making friends.
It does get easier, especially about five seconds after you get out of high school(god I fucking hated high school).  The rest of the world does mature as you do, and they become more tolerant and forgiving of individual faults.  Not saying this is a blanket statement, but it is a good generalization.  A little patience goes a long way.

Offline aurorablind

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #86 on: January 31, 2010, 03:21:38 PM »
I've had a couple of batches of really heavy depressions.
The first one when i was 17. I had two major panic attacks that sent me to the hospital. It ended up with me gettong on anti-depressive drugs for allmost two years, and seeing a phsychologist for some period of that time.
The second one when i was 20. I thought i'd sorted my life out, but all the negative emotions and anxiety feelings got back, and i got some minor and one major anxiety-attack that made me having to go on the drugs again.
Now im 23, and i've been of the pills for two and a half years.
Im doing pretty well now, but the feelings come back every now and then. I broke up with my fiance 9 months ago, and even though it was my choice, i ended up struggling really bad with bad concience. I lost 12 kg because of all the stress.

Even though, the periods i've had with serious depression have thought me how to deal with negative emotions much better. Instead of hiding all my thoughts and feelings i try to talk to my friends and family about them, and it really works. That's really the best way of handling depression for me. Being open to the people i trust about my feelings, and also, working out. When im alone and i start to feel like crap i usually go for a run around the neighbourhood and think about stuff just to get my mind fresh. When i get inside i usually feel alot better.

So, thats my story.

Offline SilentFox

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #87 on: January 31, 2010, 03:25:27 PM »
A helpful tip to people that are depressed, that helped me:

If you are depressed in your current state of being, instead of trying to accept it, first try to change it.  Add variety to your life.  Pick up a new hobby.  Get into new music.  Learn how to play a new sport.  Distracting yourself in these ways will help to rid yourself of depressing thoughts.  If you're in school or college, join a club -- not only does it open up fun opportunities, you make friends with the people that have similar interests as you.  Plus, what better place to find a girlfriend than a place where you instantly have one thing in common!  

If you're having trouble with being accepted by the world (or even being accepted by yourself), what really helped me is coming to Christianity.  I don't mean to be a faith-pusher, but Christ rejects no one.

If anyone is in serious despair, and is willing to try to change their perspective and try new things, a book I would highly recommend is Managing Your Mind by Gillian Butler.  That book not only helped me to be happier, but also to become a much better person in general.

Offline Hyperplex

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #88 on: January 31, 2010, 03:38:23 PM »
There is something inherently naive about the way the majority of people in the world approach depression.

Depression as a disorder, as a sickness, is NOT situational. The sadness you feel when you get dumped or the grief you feel when someone you love dies is not depression. They are emotions that pass with time and effort. Depression is not necessarily something that can be explained or changed. If one is sad because something bad happened, that is sadness, grief, angst or whatever emotion is applicable. Depression itself is not an emotion; it is a way of thinking.

That's not to say people who suffer from depression are not influenced by outside situations. Quite the opposite, a depressed person can be thrown further into a deep depression when things go pear-shaped. However, the depression exists without the outside stimuli. Depression is a distortion of thought, a disorder of feeling, not just an emotional response.

Depression is a mood disorder, one that can be helped through therapy, life coaching, expression and, in some cases, medicine. Those who suffer with it are usually not able to simply change their way of thinking. It's the same with other mood disorders like anxiety, as well as with panic disorders; you cannot simply will them away. It takes effort, energy, motivation and a true desire to work to break through something like this.

I can't really explain it any better than that: it only really makes sense to those who have felt it. You might want to change, you might hate that you think what you're thinking, you might know that what you're thinking and feeling is the most inane, stupid thing you know.....you still think it.
"My melancholy wants to rest in the hiding places and abysses of perfection. This is why I need music." –Friedrich Nietzsche

Offline Dark Master Of Sin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #89 on: January 31, 2010, 03:44:37 PM »
I'm not afraid to talk about how I feel, I just don't trust other people.
Lord knows I feel you.  I always felt that is where the good sense of self comes to play.  It helps to shield you from the actions of others.
Yeah, that's one of the reasons I have trouble making friends.
It does get easier, especially about five seconds after you get out of high school(god I fucking hated high school).  The rest of the world does mature as you do, and they become more tolerant and forgiving of individual faults.  Not saying this is a blanket statement, but it is a good generalization.  A little patience goes a long way.
I've always been more mature than most my age, no idea why, I just have, which has always frustrated me.
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Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #90 on: January 31, 2010, 03:45:34 PM »
While I'm sure there are SOME cases that are like what you said, I'd like to point out that just because people don't know what's making them sad, doesn't mean there isn't something there. One of our subconcious tendencies is block out painful things, which can easily cause people to not remember them.

It's just easier to say "ah yes, not your deal, just a disorder, take this and you're good to go".
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Offline Hyperplex

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #91 on: January 31, 2010, 03:50:12 PM »
I never said that at all. If someone suffers from depression, it most certainly is his or her deal. There are experiences that can trigger it. What I am saying is that sadness and depression are two different things.

If I go back and look at my life growing up, I have no "reason" to be depressed. That doesn't change the fact that I am. Medication has helped me, but so has therapy. So have my parents to an extent, and more than anything my wife has helped me.

Depression has also made me who I am, for better or worse. If I stopped taking medication, I'd still be able to deal. Maybe it would be easier, maybe it would be harder. Right now, I'm in a managable balance and doing fine. I still have my dark moments, but on a whole I am okay. It's also taken me the better part of my life to know, understand and grow through it.

EDIT: And I'm not done yet.
"My melancholy wants to rest in the hiding places and abysses of perfection. This is why I need music." –Friedrich Nietzsche

Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #92 on: January 31, 2010, 03:57:27 PM »
My point was that you can't actually look at your life and realize you have no reason to be depressed. That would mean remembering everything you ever experienced ever, and of course assuming that your mind won't hide things from you and that you are fully aware of everything going on in you.
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Offline Dark Master Of Sin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #93 on: January 31, 2010, 04:04:05 PM »
Cool, arguing on a thread dedicated to depression. Real mature guys.
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Offline Hyperplex

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #94 on: January 31, 2010, 04:06:26 PM »
Cool, arguing on a thread dedicated to depression. Real mature guys.

Who is arguing? We are presenting different views on the matter and neither one of us is hostile to the other. Speaking for myself, I am always open to what other people say and in no way meant to belittle what Adami believes and says.

Our discussion is rather mature, I think, as discussion itself is based on sharing differing views and opinions. Don't be so quick to call others out.
"My melancholy wants to rest in the hiding places and abysses of perfection. This is why I need music." –Friedrich Nietzsche

Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #95 on: January 31, 2010, 04:17:20 PM »
Cool, arguing on a thread dedicated to depression. Real mature guys.

Has nothing to do with maturity, it's two people discussing opposing ways of dealing with the topic at hand.

But fair enough, I'll quit.
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Offline Marvellous G

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #96 on: January 31, 2010, 04:19:10 PM »
Hey guys, it's Sunday evening and I'm depressed again. What are your favourite comfort films/songs? Sleepless in Seattle with a bit of John Mayer's Continuum afterwards always soothes me.

Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #97 on: January 31, 2010, 04:23:32 PM »
Hey guys, it's Sunday evening and I'm depressed again. What are your favourite comfort films/songs? Sleepless in Seattle with a bit of John Mayer's Continuum afterwards always soothes me.

I always watch Paul Rudd comedies when I'm down,.
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Offline 73109

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #98 on: January 31, 2010, 04:24:08 PM »
Role Models is in HBO On-Demand if you have it. It is awesome.

Offline SilentFox

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #99 on: January 31, 2010, 04:30:20 PM »
The Office always helps me when I'm feeling depressed.

Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #100 on: January 31, 2010, 04:34:34 PM »
The Office always helps me when I'm feeling depressed.

Which one?

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Offline Hyperplex

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #101 on: January 31, 2010, 04:59:53 PM »
I like listening to Cat Stevens, dredg or Porcupine Tree. There's something about them that seems to hit a nice nerve when I'm in a low spot. I also like the levity of cartoons when I'm depressed. Looney Tunes are almost always a winner in the regard.
"My melancholy wants to rest in the hiding places and abysses of perfection. This is why I need music." –Friedrich Nietzsche

Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #102 on: January 31, 2010, 05:04:27 PM »
Personally, I usually put on a Judd Apatowish comedy, or something similar. That or I'll put my ipod on shuffle, and play mario wii.
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Offline Dark Master Of Sin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #103 on: January 31, 2010, 05:10:17 PM »
Whitest Kids U'know
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Offline SilentFox

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #104 on: January 31, 2010, 05:43:24 PM »
The Office always helps me when I'm feeling depressed.

Which one?


The American version is the one I watch.  I never got into the British one, but I heard it's basically a coin toss in which one you prefer.  You hate one and love the other (or you hate both).