Author Topic: The Depressed/Angry Thread.  (Read 268460 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline wolfking

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 47559
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2240 on: November 27, 2022, 03:13:21 PM »
I guess this is as good a place as any to put this.

As some of you know, my mom passed away this past February and this year has been fairly horrible as a result.  My dad is simply never going to be okay again.  I can see it on him every time I see him.  Honestly, it is depressing even going to the house and having any kind of family get-together as feels depressing to have it without Mom there.  Thanksgiving was actually fairly good because my cousin Maureen (who is in contention for the nicest person you could ever hope to meet) and her husband Tim had all of us over and the distraction of our cousins and close family members to talk to was a major plus, but the next month or so with the Christmas season and all is going to be awful.  And it's not like it will get any better after that, as life will go on and continue to just be awful for all of us. 

I shudder to think of how life will be if/when my dad passes, as I feel like he would just not have much fight in him if he got sick at all.

My wife is related to you?? 


Can't say I feel the same way about my mother as you do, but I do feel that strongly about my father. Just saw him for the first time in a year and a half yesterday, and well, he's definitely going first.

I definitely feel bad for your father. You've still got at half of your life ahead of you though. It'll get easier. It's still the first year.


@ Kev and Tom... Consider yourselves lucky. I have basically lived without my parents in my life for damn near 20 years.

That's awful Tim. I'm blessed to have had the time I did but the pain I now feel is brutal. There was a LOT of collateral loss. My entire family was destroyed. I don't speak to my siblings, first cousins, pretty much everyone except my wife and kids. I just want to disappear.

Cherish you wife and kids mate.

I rarely speak to my siblings and have never spoken to cousins.  We are a fucked up miserable family too and had plenty of issues.  I don't know your situation but take comfort in your not alone in these kind of situations. 

I should cherish my parents more while they are both still here.
Everyone else, except Wolfking is wrong.

Offline Glasser

  • Posts: 4261
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2241 on: November 27, 2022, 05:19:47 PM »
I'm blessed to have had the time I did but the pain I now feel is brutal. There was a LOT of collateral loss. My entire family was destroyed. I don't speak to my siblings, first cousins, pretty much everyone except my wife and kids. I just want to disappear.

Was the collateral damage due to infighting, or more that your folks were the center of the family around who everyone gathered?

Constant fighting and strife.

Offline Glasser

  • Posts: 4261
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2242 on: November 27, 2022, 05:23:13 PM »
I guess this is as good a place as any to put this.

As some of you know, my mom passed away this past February and this year has been fairly horrible as a result.  My dad is simply never going to be okay again.  I can see it on him every time I see him.  Honestly, it is depressing even going to the house and having any kind of family get-together as feels depressing to have it without Mom there.  Thanksgiving was actually fairly good because my cousin Maureen (who is in contention for the nicest person you could ever hope to meet) and her husband Tim had all of us over and the distraction of our cousins and close family members to talk to was a major plus, but the next month or so with the Christmas season and all is going to be awful.  And it's not like it will get any better after that, as life will go on and continue to just be awful for all of us. 

I shudder to think of how life will be if/when my dad passes, as I feel like he would just not have much fight in him if he got sick at all.

My wife is related to you?? 


Can't say I feel the same way about my mother as you do, but I do feel that strongly about my father. Just saw him for the first time in a year and a half yesterday, and well, he's definitely going first.

I definitely feel bad for your father. You've still got at half of your life ahead of you though. It'll get easier. It's still the first year.


@ Kev and Tom... Consider yourselves lucky. I have basically lived without my parents in my life for damn near 20 years.

That's awful Tim. I'm blessed to have had the time I did but the pain I now feel is brutal. There was a LOT of collateral loss. My entire family was destroyed. I don't speak to my siblings, first cousins, pretty much everyone except my wife and kids. I just want to disappear.

Cherish you wife and kids mate.

I rarely speak to my siblings and have never spoken to cousins.  We are a fucked up miserable family too and had plenty of issues.  I don't know your situation but take comfort in your not alone in these kind of situations. 

I should cherish my parents more while they are both still here.

Yes, I would give anything to spend time with them again. I am very grateful for my wife and 3 amazing boys.

Offline TAC

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 76242
  • Gender: Male
  • Arthritic Metal Horns
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2243 on: November 27, 2022, 05:39:21 PM »
I'm blessed to have had the time I did but the pain I now feel is brutal. There was a LOT of collateral loss. My entire family was destroyed. I don't speak to my siblings, first cousins, pretty much everyone except my wife and kids. I just want to disappear.

Was the collateral damage due to infighting, or more that your folks were the center of the family around who everyone gathered?

Constant fighting and strife.

As long as your conscience is clear, fuck 'em. You can't make anyone do or think anything. Take care of YOURSELF and YOUR family. They love and need you.

Plus, you have us now!  :lol
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
Winger Theater Forums........or WTF.  ;D
TAC got a higher score than me in the electronic round? Honestly, can I just drop out now? :lol

Offline wolfking

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 47559
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2244 on: November 27, 2022, 05:48:16 PM »
I'm blessed to have had the time I did but the pain I now feel is brutal. There was a LOT of collateral loss. My entire family was destroyed. I don't speak to my siblings, first cousins, pretty much everyone except my wife and kids. I just want to disappear.

Was the collateral damage due to infighting, or more that your folks were the center of the family around who everyone gathered?

Constant fighting and strife.

As long as your conscience is clear, fuck 'em. You can't make anyone do or think anything. Take care of YOURSELF and YOUR family. They love and need you.

Plus, you have us now!  :lol

DTF has replaced all my extended family, plus my need for children.
Everyone else, except Wolfking is wrong.

Offline Glasser

  • Posts: 4261
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2245 on: November 27, 2022, 08:12:02 PM »
I'm blessed to have had the time I did but the pain I now feel is brutal. There was a LOT of collateral loss. My entire family was destroyed. I don't speak to my siblings, first cousins, pretty much everyone except my wife and kids. I just want to disappear.

Was the collateral damage due to infighting, or more that your folks were the center of the family around who everyone gathered?

Constant fighting and strife.

As long as your conscience is clear, fuck 'em. You can't make anyone do or think anything. Take care of YOURSELF and YOUR family. They love and need you.

Plus, you have us now!  :lol

Thank you Tim. My conscience is crystal clear. I just don't understand how people who claim to love you can you be so cruel, BEYOND abusive, it crushes me. Yes, my DTF family are sweet and kind, I'm thankful for you all.  :heart :metal

Online King Postwhore

  • Couch Potato
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 59814
  • Gender: Male
  • Take that Beethoven, you deaf bastard!!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2246 on: November 28, 2022, 06:42:42 AM »
My cousin's wife passed away this morning to brain cancer.  She lit up the room with her personality.  Too damn young.
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. - Bob Newhart
So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
"Oh, I am definitely a jackass!" - TAC

Online jingle.boy

  • I'm so ronery; so sad and ronery
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 45582
  • Gender: Male
  • DTF's resident deceased dictator
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2247 on: November 28, 2022, 07:22:55 AM »
I'm sorry to hear this King.  :hug:
Sig removed as the forum crashes! :biggrin:

Offline XJDenton

  • What a shame
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 7829
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2248 on: November 28, 2022, 07:30:50 AM »
Cancer is a shit. I'm sorry.
"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman

Offline Lonk

  • DTF.org Member
  • *
  • Posts: 6360
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2249 on: November 28, 2022, 07:35:51 AM »
Sorry to hear that King  :'(

Online jingle.boy

  • I'm so ronery; so sad and ronery
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 45582
  • Gender: Male
  • DTF's resident deceased dictator
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2250 on: November 28, 2022, 08:35:52 AM »
Cancer is a shit. I'm sorry.

F#ck cancer.  Seriously.
Sig removed as the forum crashes! :biggrin:

Offline Stadler

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 44730
  • Gender: Male
  • Pointing out the "unfunny" since 2014!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2251 on: November 28, 2022, 12:42:11 PM »
All this talk about parents; today would have been my mom and dad's 59th wedding anniversary.  As if the Monday after a holiday isn't bad enough.  ;)

Offline MetalJunkie

  • EZBoard Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6891
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2252 on: November 28, 2022, 12:43:25 PM »
All this talk about parents; today would have been my mom and dad's 59th wedding anniversary.  As if the Monday after a holiday isn't bad enough.  ;)
Oh man. May you bask in their warm memories.
Listen! Do you smell something?

Online King Postwhore

  • Couch Potato
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 59814
  • Gender: Male
  • Take that Beethoven, you deaf bastard!!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2253 on: November 28, 2022, 12:53:39 PM »
I think about that stuff too Bill.  Here's a video of Mickey singing at her brother's Christmas show. Her brother is Gary Hoey. She was a powerful singer. I feel so bad for my cousin Larry, her husband.

https://youtu.be/HN3RwmB-FuY
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. - Bob Newhart
So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
"Oh, I am definitely a jackass!" - TAC

Offline TAC

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 76242
  • Gender: Male
  • Arthritic Metal Horns
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2254 on: November 28, 2022, 01:26:45 PM »
My cousin's wife passed away this morning to brain cancer.  She lit up the room with her personality.  Too damn young.

That's awful, Joe. WTF?


All this talk about parents; today would have been my mom and dad's 59th wedding anniversary.  As if the Monday after a holiday isn't bad enough.  ;)

Been thinking about you too, man.
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
Winger Theater Forums........or WTF.  ;D
TAC got a higher score than me in the electronic round? Honestly, can I just drop out now? :lol

Offline KevShmev

  • EZBoard Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 42116
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2255 on: November 29, 2022, 07:58:21 PM »
My cousin's wife passed away this morning to brain cancer.  She lit up the room with her personality.  Too damn young.

Ugh, that is awful. Sorry to hear that, Joe.  :( :(

Online King Postwhore

  • Couch Potato
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 59814
  • Gender: Male
  • Take that Beethoven, you deaf bastard!!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2256 on: November 29, 2022, 07:59:58 PM »
Thanks Kev. She was truly loved. So many posts on Facebook from so many people she has touched. I feel for my cousin and their 2 daughters. 
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. - Bob Newhart
So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
"Oh, I am definitely a jackass!" - TAC

Offline wolfking

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 47559
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2257 on: November 30, 2022, 04:06:01 AM »
That's shit mate.  Life is really fucked up sometimes.
Everyone else, except Wolfking is wrong.

Offline Dublagent66

  • Devouring consciousness...
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 9664
  • Gender: Male
  • ...Digesting power
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2258 on: November 30, 2022, 03:05:23 PM »
I've been through a similar loss, but everyone's situation is still different.  There is no template for grieving a lost loved one.  So sorry to hear about things like this cause it hits so close to home.  Cancer is a fuckin' bitch! >:(
"Two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein
"There's not a pill you can take.  There's not a class you can go to.  Stupid is foreva."  -Ron White

Offline Stadler

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 44730
  • Gender: Male
  • Pointing out the "unfunny" since 2014!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2259 on: December 01, 2022, 06:08:36 AM »
Thanks Kev. She was truly loved. So many posts on Facebook from so many people she has touched. I feel for my cousin and their 2 daughters.

I am very sorry.

I've been through a similar loss, but everyone's situation is still different.  There is no template for grieving a lost loved one.  So sorry to hear about things like this cause it hits so close to home.  Cancer is a fuckin' bitch! >:(

100% THIS.  I knew it would be a tough go when either one of my parents left us, but I had no idea it would be like this. I don't mean that to say it's "worse than I imagined"; in some ways it is, in some ways it's better, believe it or not. But it's DIFFERENT.  These are not the emotions I thought I would be feeling.

Trust yourself, be kind to yourself, and LET YOURSELF GRIEVE. There are no heroes.

Offline Chino

  • Be excellent to each other.
  • DT.net Veteran
  • ****
  • Posts: 25253
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2260 on: December 01, 2022, 09:01:07 AM »
My aunt just died. I haven't talked to her in a couple years now, but it's still casting a pretty good cloud.

She didn't drive, so she called for an ambulance and checked herself into the hospital with a pretty bad UTI. They admitted her for monitoring over night. She choked on her dinner in her hospital bed, struggled to breathe, had a heart attack, was put into a medically induced coma for a couple weeks, and just had the plug pulled. Her husband has early signs of dementia and is in a live-in facility. They hated each other and haven't spoken in years, but legally all their stuff is still intertwined. It's a clusterfuck

Offline XJDenton

  • What a shame
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 7829
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2261 on: December 01, 2022, 09:21:22 AM »
Sorry Chino.

My Maternal Grandmother just died. She'd been deteriorating for the last 5 years or so, was on a DNR and went into assisted living in the summer, so not really a surprise (made it to her mid nineties). Still, sucks.
"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman

Offline Lonk

  • DTF.org Member
  • *
  • Posts: 6360
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2262 on: December 01, 2022, 09:36:42 AM »
Sorry to hear that guys :/


Offline Stadler

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 44730
  • Gender: Male
  • Pointing out the "unfunny" since 2014!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2263 on: December 01, 2022, 02:35:18 PM »
My aunt just died. I haven't talked to her in a couple years now, but it's still casting a pretty good cloud.

She didn't drive, so she called for an ambulance and checked herself into the hospital with a pretty bad UTI. They admitted her for monitoring over night. She choked on her dinner in her hospital bed, struggled to breathe, had a heart attack, was put into a medically induced coma for a couple weeks, and just had the plug pulled. Her husband has early signs of dementia and is in a live-in facility. They hated each other and haven't spoken in years, but legally all their stuff is still intertwined. It's a clusterfuck

Dammit; it's hard when it's messy. My best to you and your family

(I didn't seen this, by the way, when I sent you that PM.)

Offline Stadler

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 44730
  • Gender: Male
  • Pointing out the "unfunny" since 2014!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2264 on: December 01, 2022, 02:36:20 PM »
Sorry Chino.

My Maternal Grandmother just died. She'd been deteriorating for the last 5 years or so, was on a DNR and went into assisted living in the summer, so not really a surprise (made it to her mid nineties). Still, sucks.

It does; I still think about my maternal grandmother (Gram!) and she's been gone almost 30 years now.  Crazy how time flies.

All my sympathies to you and your family.

Offline TAC

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 76242
  • Gender: Male
  • Arthritic Metal Horns
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2265 on: December 01, 2022, 02:38:24 PM »
My maternal grandmother was the most special person I've ever known.


Oh, and In before Ben goes, "People die. Get over it."  ;D
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
Winger Theater Forums........or WTF.  ;D
TAC got a higher score than me in the electronic round? Honestly, can I just drop out now? :lol

Offline JayOctavarium

  • I used to be a whorejerk
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 10021
  • Gender: Male
  • But then I took a Hef to the knee...
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2266 on: December 01, 2022, 03:23:41 PM »
Man do I fucking hate the holidays. It's so hard to not just feel completely alone and isolated.
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

-BlobVanDam on "Scarred"

Online King Postwhore

  • Couch Potato
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 59814
  • Gender: Male
  • Take that Beethoven, you deaf bastard!!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2267 on: December 01, 2022, 07:14:45 PM »
Brian, I'm so sorry.
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. - Bob Newhart
So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
"Oh, I am definitely a jackass!" - TAC

Offline XJDenton

  • What a shame
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 7829
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2268 on: December 02, 2022, 04:15:27 AM »
Sorry Chino.

My Maternal Grandmother just died. She'd been deteriorating for the last 5 years or so, was on a DNR and went into assisted living in the summer, so not really a surprise (made it to her mid nineties). Still, sucks.

It does; I still think about my maternal grandmother (Gram!) and she's been gone almost 30 years now.  Crazy how time flies.

All my sympathies to you and your family.

Cheers Stad. Appreciate it. All doing well as can be expected. And she was surrounded by family at the end, so its as good an ending as any of us can hope for.
"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman

Offline Animal

  • Posts: 264
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2269 on: December 02, 2022, 06:55:34 AM »
dt
« Last Edit: December 09, 2022, 04:35:39 AM by Animal »

Online King Postwhore

  • Couch Potato
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 59814
  • Gender: Male
  • Take that Beethoven, you deaf bastard!!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2270 on: December 02, 2022, 08:00:49 AM »
It never goes away Animal.  My mom passed away in February of 2011.  Only 64 years old.  To this day, when something reminds me of her I well up.  The loss is always there. 
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. - Bob Newhart
So wait, we're spelling it wrong and king is spelling it right? What is going on here? :lol -- BlobVanDam
"Oh, I am definitely a jackass!" - TAC

Offline Cool Chris

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 13769
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2271 on: December 02, 2022, 11:34:56 PM »
Not really angry or depressed, but keeping with one of the themes here... my dad had major heart surgery recently. His recovery is going slowly, but as expected. My mom has been solid through all this, and despite me and my sister's repeated offers, she has declined any help from us. Until yesterday. My dad had to go back to the hospital overnight for observation (he's ok, details not important) and in talking to my mom, she sounded different for the first time during all this. I asked her again what I could do. She said dad always handled the bills and just thinking about them is overwhelming her. I told her to send me everything and I would handle it all until dad was ready to take it on again, and I could hear the weight lift from her voice.

I talked to my sister later and it was the first time she and I ever discussed needing to step up for them as they grow older. It really feels like a page is turning in our family. We knew they wouldn't live in their current house forever - it's too big for just the two of them - but this experience is probably moving up their schedule on when they downsize and move closer to my sister and I.
"Nostalgia is just the ability to forget the things that sucked" - Nelson DeMille, 'Up Country'

Offline TAC

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 76242
  • Gender: Male
  • Arthritic Metal Horns
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2272 on: December 03, 2022, 01:32:38 PM »
Going through something quite similar to this Chris.
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
Winger Theater Forums........or WTF.  ;D
TAC got a higher score than me in the electronic round? Honestly, can I just drop out now? :lol

Offline Podaar

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 9980
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2273 on: December 06, 2022, 05:51:03 AM »
Yeah, my Mom (last remaining parent for Mrs. P and I) just turned 88. She lives alone, is getting a bit vague, and mildly complains about both.

In May, she started talking about selling her condo and moving into an assisted living community. My siblings and I encouraged her to do what she wishes and we would support her. Honestly, she could hire a live-in nurse or med student and put them up in her basement (she's got way more money than she'll ever need), but a community of similar aged people might be nice for her.

We took her out to dinner last night and the subject never came up. I asked her when I dropped her off if she's made any more plans on the issue. She said no, and blamed the lack of progress on no one having the time to go with her to look places over. I know from talking with my sister, that Mom never asks.

It's sad to see Mom frightened and too prideful to ask for help. But at the same time, she raised us all to be self-sufficient and fiercely independent. It's a natural consequence that we all want to give her the same respect.

Anyway, it bums me out.
"Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God. Christopher Hitchens

Offline TAC

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 76242
  • Gender: Male
  • Arthritic Metal Horns
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2274 on: December 06, 2022, 06:34:48 AM »
Well, the fact that SHE talked about moving into an assisted living facility is good. Most people go kicking and screaming. Most acclimate quite nicely and some never get over it. My wife works at a half independant/half assisted.

I wish my parents would consider such a place, but they are hell bet on buying a house, and my father is in rough shape.
would have thought the same thing but seeing the OP was TAC i immediately thought Maiden or DT related
Winger Theater Forums........or WTF.  ;D
TAC got a higher score than me in the electronic round? Honestly, can I just drop out now? :lol