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The Depressed/Angry Thread.

Started by Marvellous G, January 30, 2010, 05:13:29 PM

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TAC


King Postwhore

Kade, I'm glad you're around to share your pain. My shoulder is here for you. Love you man.  Tomorrow,  wake up knowing this fat ass is hugging you.
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." - Bon Newhart.

TAC

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 08, 2022, 08:23:30 PM
Tomorrow,  wake up knowing this fat ass is hugging you.

Dude, we're trying to cheer him up, man. :lol

King Postwhore

 :lol

I'm a teddy bear mother fucker! :lol
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." - Bon Newhart.

ProfessorPeart

Quote from: ProfessorPeart on September 07, 2022, 12:12:39 PM
Not sure where to put this but I needed somewhere to vent.

My wife went into the hospital on 7/26 with double pneumonia. She spent a week in the hospital and was discharged because she could breathe on her own without issue. A week later we were back in the ER. Pneumonia came raging back. She spent a week there and then got moved to a long-term acute care hospital where she was for a week.

Yesterday we were back in the ER again. Her pneumonia is gone but her lungs are not working well. She is now at her worst since she got sick. They have her on a special breathing machine at the moment. She called not too long ago and she is having a slew of tests and procedures scheduled to try and figure out why her lungs are so bad.

I was rolling with it, but it's starting to really weigh me down emotionally right now. November will be 30 years that we have been together as a couple. I don't know anything else other than being with her. I just want this to be over and her to be home.

Today has sucked. All tests that would've shown a clot came up empty. I kinda wish they had found one because what they are talking about now is way worse. They are thinking she has interstitial lung disease, for which there is no cure. Essentially, they think her lungs have started to scar, which is permanent. She needs a special biopsy to confirm but the hospital she is in now does not do that. It is part of the system I work for and they want to transport her into Chicago to our main hospital to do the procedure there. She is not even stable enough at the moment to get the procedure so we are not even sure when this is going to happen.

If this is confirmed, she is possibly looking at a life of oxygen, steroids and immunosuppressants for the rest of her life with the worst case being eventual lung transplant.

After she called me and gave me the news, I shut off my work laptop and just left for the hospital. Didn't tell anyone I was leaving. Just messaged my bosses a few minutes ago and told them I can't work tomorrow. They both responded and said that taking time off was a good idea. It's also my son's birthday and now we are trying to figure out how to have a gathering at the hospital instead of our house.

I'm just at a loss right now.

King Postwhore

Fuck.  I'm so sorry. That is horrible. 
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." - Bon Newhart.

TAC

Wow, man. That's fucking awful. Let's pray the worst case scenario doesn't play out. Hopefully the tests in Chicago prove to be something more manageable.

Glasser

Quote from: wolfking on September 08, 2022, 06:46:58 PM
The other thing I want to add is that I beat myself up daily for allowing myself to use my accident as an excuse.  I get scolded from my misses about it considering what happened but it's true.  I feel, even in darkest times, let things sink in and take time to deal with them but remember there's always someone worse off.  Try your hardest to see if issues you are facing can somehow be put aside, even for a little bit.  I've let it wallow which for me is disappointing.

I think the longer things manifest, the more it can become an excuse to allow you to continue to be down.  I've never spoken to any shrink or gotten professional help, I refuse to but if my words offend anyone that actually have had depression issues diagnosed please feel free to comment.  Everyone is different I guess.

I read both parts of this. Bottom line, mental illness is the "invisible monster" as I have suffered my entire life, its VERY real but it has made me a kinder and more compassionate person. I navigate through crippling anxiety and debilitating panic attacks every day since I was 15. 2 of my 3 boys suffer as well. Bottom line, I stopped overthinking and giving a crap what others think because it doesn't serve me. I don't think about yesterday or tomorrow and that helps me immensely. I finally got to a point where I do not react angrily or aggressively to any bad situation. I stop, breathe, and respond calmly. Great post Kade. I'm here to speak ANYTIME if you ever need to. I mean that.

KevShmev

#2143
ProfessorPeart, very sorry to hear that.  That hits really close to home for me, as my mom had interstitial lung disease.  I won't get into details (and I don't have the heart to do so at the moment), but I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Thoughts are with others in this thread as well (hard to reply and address every bad situation...life is not easy right now for many of us).

wolfking

Quote from: Glasser on September 08, 2022, 09:09:41 PM
Quote from: wolfking on September 08, 2022, 06:46:58 PM
The other thing I want to add is that I beat myself up daily for allowing myself to use my accident as an excuse.  I get scolded from my misses about it considering what happened but it's true.  I feel, even in darkest times, let things sink in and take time to deal with them but remember there's always someone worse off.  Try your hardest to see if issues you are facing can somehow be put aside, even for a little bit.  I've let it wallow which for me is disappointing.

I think the longer things manifest, the more it can become an excuse to allow you to continue to be down.  I've never spoken to any shrink or gotten professional help, I refuse to but if my words offend anyone that actually have had depression issues diagnosed please feel free to comment.  Everyone is different I guess.

I read both parts of this. Bottom line, mental illness is the "invisible monster" as I have suffered my entire life, its VERY real but it has made me a kinder and more compassionate person. I navigate through crippling anxiety and debilitating panic attacks every day since I was 15. 2 of my 3 boys suffer as well. Bottom line, I stopped overthinking and giving a crap what others think because it doesn't serve me. I don't think about yesterday or tomorrow and that helps me immensely. I finally got to a point where I do not react angrily or aggressively to any bad situation. I stop, breathe, and respond calmly. Great post Kade. I'm here to speak ANYTIME if you ever need to. I mean that.

Thanks Tom, same to you mate.  Not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow us a great piece of advice.  Something I adopt for work struggles and made things much easier to deal with.

wolfking

Peart, I'm so sorry.  I don't pray but will say a prayer for you guys.  Fingers crossed the worst case scenario doesn't play out.  Couldn't imagine what you're going through.

wolfking

Quote from: kingshmegland on September 08, 2022, 08:23:30 PM
Kade, I'm glad you're around to share your pain. My shoulder is here for you. Love you man.  Tomorrow,  wake up knowing this fat ass is hugging you.

Haha, thanks Joe.  :heart

jingle.boy

Quote from: TAC on September 08, 2022, 08:34:52 PM
Wow, man. That's fucking awful. Let's pray the worst case scenario doesn't play out. Hopefully the tests in Chicago prove to be something more manageable.

Exactly what I was thinking, and am hoping for.  I can't even begin to imagine what your family is going thru
Quote from: TAC on July 31, 2021, 07:55:07 PMIf I can do it, it's idiot proof.
Quote from: Stadler on January 03, 2024, 10:00:00 AMThat's a word salad - and take it from me, I know word salad
Quote from: hefdaddy42 on November 04, 2021, 06:14:36 AMI fear for the day when something happens on the right that is SO nuts that even Stadler says "That's crazy".

Stadler

Quote from: ProfessorPeart on September 08, 2022, 08:30:34 PM
Quote from: ProfessorPeart on September 07, 2022, 12:12:39 PM
Not sure where to put this but I needed somewhere to vent.

My wife went into the hospital on 7/26 with double pneumonia. She spent a week in the hospital and was discharged because she could breathe on her own without issue. A week later we were back in the ER. Pneumonia came raging back. She spent a week there and then got moved to a long-term acute care hospital where she was for a week.

Yesterday we were back in the ER again. Her pneumonia is gone but her lungs are not working well. She is now at her worst since she got sick. They have her on a special breathing machine at the moment. She called not too long ago and she is having a slew of tests and procedures scheduled to try and figure out why her lungs are so bad.

I was rolling with it, but it's starting to really weigh me down emotionally right now. November will be 30 years that we have been together as a couple. I don't know anything else other than being with her. I just want this to be over and her to be home.

Today has sucked. All tests that would've shown a clot came up empty. I kinda wish they had found one because what they are talking about now is way worse. They are thinking she has interstitial lung disease, for which there is no cure. Essentially, they think her lungs have started to scar, which is permanent. She needs a special biopsy to confirm but the hospital she is in now does not do that. It is part of the system I work for and they want to transport her into Chicago to our main hospital to do the procedure there. She is not even stable enough at the moment to get the procedure so we are not even sure when this is going to happen.

If this is confirmed, she is possibly looking at a life of oxygen, steroids and immunosuppressants for the rest of her life with the worst case being eventual lung transplant.

After she called me and gave me the news, I shut off my work laptop and just left for the hospital. Didn't tell anyone I was leaving. Just messaged my bosses a few minutes ago and told them I can't work tomorrow. They both responded and said that taking time off was a good idea. It's also my son's birthday and now we are trying to figure out how to have a gathering at the hospital instead of our house.

I'm just at a loss right now.

I'll be thinking about you and even if it's not your thing, I'll be saying a prayer for you and your family. 

Dublagent66

Quote from: wolfking on September 06, 2022, 08:50:00 PM
I keep meaning to post something here but not sure where to start.  I will though.

Dublagent, can I ask what's lead you to live like you have the last year and have you always been that way?   I get what you mean though and for me it's just work and home at the moment.  But I've always kinda been like that.

Sorry man, just saw your post.  Yes, I've pretty much always been that way.  Never married.  No kids.  Been in lots of relationships, but none lasting more than 5 years.  This last year has been more about saving money for my retirement goal in 4 years.  Plus, these days, I just don't feel like being around a lot people.  Concerts have pretty much come to a stop.  Working from home 3 days a week.  It all just makes sense to chill out and try to weather this economic storm.

However, for me it's mostly a personality thing.  This is gonna make you laugh, but long ago as a kid one time, my mom sent me to my room for whatever I did.  3 hours later I'm still playing in my room.  I think I've always been able to be happy on my own for the most part.  I do like going out with friends once in a while, but not so much lately.

TheCountOfNYC

Man I've been having a rough time these past few weeks. Apparently I have some unresolved trauma from my past that's coming back.

As a writers assistant for Nick Cannon's Wild N Out, my girlfriend has to travel for work sometimes. She left for Atlanta for this season on August 24th and she's coming back on September 24th. I was supposed to go visit her for Labor Day weekend, but earlier in the week she told me not to come because she needed time to herself as that weekend would be her first days off since she got there. My mind tends to escalate things, and I've been on a bit of a spiral since then. She's never given me any reason not to trust her, but I have severe trust issues from my dad's infidelity and my parents' subsequent divorce along with my ex-girlfriend and her repeated cheating throughout our nearly eight year relationship, and my mind is assuming the worst. I can't bring it up to my girlfriend as it would really hurt her because she's been nothing but great to me, and I know deep down that I can trust her, but my crippling self-doubt has been destroying me for the past couple of weeks to the point that I've been feeling physically ill. I don't know what to do, and part of me feels like I deserve it.

TAC

Quote from: TheCountOfNYC on September 11, 2022, 01:15:26 PM
I was supposed to go visit her for Labor Day weekend, but earlier in the week she told me not to come because she needed time to herself as that weekend would be her first days off since she got there.

That's a red flag, brother. It shouldn't be looked any other way. And it's ok for you to question it because it's well....questionable. You don't have to consider your parents and ex-girlfriend. None of that matters to what will happen in a future relationship, good or bad.

Cool Chris

I was on board with everything until you got to the "deserve" part. Did you mean you deserve to be cheated on, or deserve to feel sick about the situation?

To everyone struggling right now, ProfessorPeart, Tempus, and anyone else, my heart is with you all, my friends.

TheCountOfNYC

Quote from: TAC on September 11, 2022, 01:20:01 PM
Quote from: TheCountOfNYC on September 11, 2022, 01:15:26 PM
I was supposed to go visit her for Labor Day weekend, but earlier in the week she told me not to come because she needed time to herself as that weekend would be her first days off since she got there.

That's a red flag, brother. It shouldn't be looked any other way. And it's ok for you to question it because it's well....questionable. You don't have to consider your parents and ex-girlfriend. None of that matters to what will happen in a future relationship, good or bad.

How do I even approach her about this?

TAC

Quote from: TheCountOfNYC on September 11, 2022, 01:24:00 PM
Quote from: TAC on September 11, 2022, 01:20:01 PM
Quote from: TheCountOfNYC on September 11, 2022, 01:15:26 PM
I was supposed to go visit her for Labor Day weekend, but earlier in the week she told me not to come because she needed time to herself as that weekend would be her first days off since she got there.

That's a red flag, brother. It shouldn't be looked any other way. And it's ok for you to question it because it's well....questionable. You don't have to consider your parents and ex-girlfriend. None of that matters to what will happen in a future relationship, good or bad.

How do I even approach her about this?

Honestly.

wolfking

Quote from: Dublagent66 on September 09, 2022, 01:04:13 PM
Quote from: wolfking on September 06, 2022, 08:50:00 PM
I keep meaning to post something here but not sure where to start.  I will though.

Dublagent, can I ask what's lead you to live like you have the last year and have you always been that way?   I get what you mean though and for me it's just work and home at the moment.  But I've always kinda been like that.

Sorry man, just saw your post.  Yes, I've pretty much always been that way.  Never married.  No kids.  Been in lots of relationships, but none lasting more than 5 years.  This last year has been more about saving money for my retirement goal in 4 years.  Plus, these days, I just don't feel like being around a lot people.  Concerts have pretty much come to a stop.  Working from home 3 days a week.  It all just makes sense to chill out and try to weather this economic storm.

However, for me it's mostly a personality thing.  This is gonna make you laugh, but long ago as a kid one time, my mom sent me to my room for whatever I did.  3 hours later I'm still playing in my room.  I think I've always been able to be happy on my own for the most part.  I do like going out with friends once in a while, but not so much lately.

Thanks for the sharing your thoughts there mate.  I figured as much, I can mostly relate.  That doesn't make me laugh though.  I was kind of the same.  Wanted a hobby, picked up the guitar and rarely came out again.  As I get older too, I prefer my own company, with the misses of course.  But even we like time apart and do our own things differently.  I don't try and get away from her to go out 'with the boys,' I get away to have my own time.

My wanting and needing for friends has just gone downhill.  I always thought it was crazy I never really wanted many friends and go out and be social as I was getting older but the older I get, the more comfortable I am with not needing that.  We live this life alone essentially and I realised you need to do things for yourself.  So these days while others are out socializing and whatnot, I'll be out there running, improving my guitar skills or just having time out.  I want to improve myself, not waste time on people who don't really give a fuck about me.

Choosing this place is better anyway, there's more people here that give a fuck about me than people in real life, so I'm blessed and happy with that.

wolfking

Quote from: TheCountOfNYC on September 11, 2022, 01:15:26 PM
Man I've been having a rough time these past few weeks. Apparently I have some unresolved trauma from my past that's coming back.

As a writers assistant for Nick Cannon's Wild N Out, my girlfriend has to travel for work sometimes. She left for Atlanta for this season on August 24th and she's coming back on September 24th. I was supposed to go visit her for Labor Day weekend, but earlier in the week she told me not to come because she needed time to herself as that weekend would be her first days off since she got there. My mind tends to escalate things, and I've been on a bit of a spiral since then. She's never given me any reason not to trust her, but I have severe trust issues from my dad's infidelity and my parents' subsequent divorce along with my ex-girlfriend and her repeated cheating throughout our nearly eight year relationship, and my mind is assuming the worst. I can't bring it up to my girlfriend as it would really hurt her because she's been nothing but great to me, and I know deep down that I can trust her, but my crippling self-doubt has been destroying me for the past couple of weeks to the point that I've been feeling physically ill. I don't know what to do, and part of me feels like I deserve it.

How long have you guys been together?

Tim is kinda right, that's a bit of a red flag mate.

Cool Chris

It might be a red flag, it might be nothing. The problem is you can't know which it is without discussing it.

TheCountOfNYC

Quote from: wolfking on September 11, 2022, 04:52:33 PM
Quote from: TheCountOfNYC on September 11, 2022, 01:15:26 PM
Man I've been having a rough time these past few weeks. Apparently I have some unresolved trauma from my past that's coming back.

As a writers assistant for Nick Cannon's Wild N Out, my girlfriend has to travel for work sometimes. She left for Atlanta for this season on August 24th and she's coming back on September 24th. I was supposed to go visit her for Labor Day weekend, but earlier in the week she told me not to come because she needed time to herself as that weekend would be her first days off since she got there. My mind tends to escalate things, and I've been on a bit of a spiral since then. She's never given me any reason not to trust her, but I have severe trust issues from my dad's infidelity and my parents' subsequent divorce along with my ex-girlfriend and her repeated cheating throughout our nearly eight year relationship, and my mind is assuming the worst. I can't bring it up to my girlfriend as it would really hurt her because she's been nothing but great to me, and I know deep down that I can trust her, but my crippling self-doubt has been destroying me for the past couple of weeks to the point that I've been feeling physically ill. I don't know what to do, and part of me feels like I deserve it.

How long have you guys been together?

Tim is kinda right, that's a bit of a red flag mate.

We've been together for three and a half years. We spoke last night and even then she was working on her day off (she sent me a picture of what she was working on). She's barely spoken to her family while she's down there, which is an entirely different issue that I want to talk to her about when she gets back because I'm worried she's getting lost in her work and losing sight of those important to her, but we talked things out.

Skeever

I've really felt down the last few days. Just kind of have that feeling like my life is over, if I were to die tomorrow, it'd suck for my wife/kid, but also, not so much for me, I'd just feel bad about how much work my wife is being left with to do on her own.

Feels very shameful to say, especially when you have people in this very thread who are grappling with their own mortality in a way very more present than I am. But it's a really hard feeling to shake, like my own life is just one task after the next.

TheCountOfNYC

Quote from: Skeever on September 12, 2022, 10:44:50 AM
I've really felt down the last few days. Just kind of have that feeling like my life is over, if I were to die tomorrow, it'd suck for my wife/kid, but also, not so much for me, I'd just feel bad about how much work my wife is being left with to do on her own.

Feels very shameful to say, especially when you have people in this very thread who are grappling with their own mortality in a way very more present than I am. But it's a really hard feeling to shake, like my own life is just one task after the next.

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I think we've all been there. There's a lot of things people could recommend, be it therapy or medication, but I would try something different.

Once a month, try to do something that you've never done before but has always interested you. It could break up the monotony in life and give you a monthly adventure to look forward to.

Also, never feel guilty about your feelings. I always quantify it with physical injuries since they're easier to rationalize visually. If you break your ankle, and someone else breaks their femur, sure, maybe the femur is a more gruesome injury, but that doesn't mean your ankle suddenly isn't broken. Just because someone theoretically has it worse than you doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel your pain. Empathy for others is great, but have some empathy for yourself as well.

Dublagent66

Quote from: wolfking on September 11, 2022, 04:50:54 PM
Quote from: Dublagent66 on September 09, 2022, 01:04:13 PM
Quote from: wolfking on September 06, 2022, 08:50:00 PM
I keep meaning to post something here but not sure where to start.  I will though.

Dublagent, can I ask what's lead you to live like you have the last year and have you always been that way?   I get what you mean though and for me it's just work and home at the moment.  But I've always kinda been like that.

Sorry man, just saw your post.  Yes, I've pretty much always been that way.  Never married.  No kids.  Been in lots of relationships, but none lasting more than 5 years.  This last year has been more about saving money for my retirement goal in 4 years.  Plus, these days, I just don't feel like being around a lot people.  Concerts have pretty much come to a stop.  Working from home 3 days a week.  It all just makes sense to chill out and try to weather this economic storm.

However, for me it's mostly a personality thing.  This is gonna make you laugh, but long ago as a kid one time, my mom sent me to my room for whatever I did.  3 hours later I'm still playing in my room.  I think I've always been able to be happy on my own for the most part.  I do like going out with friends once in a while, but not so much lately.

Thanks for the sharing your thoughts there mate.  I figured as much, I can mostly relate.  That doesn't make me laugh though.  I was kind of the same.  Wanted a hobby, picked up the guitar and rarely came out again.  As I get older too, I prefer my own company, with the misses of course.  But even we like time apart and do our own things differently.  I don't try and get away from her to go out 'with the boys,' I get away to have my own time.

My wanting and needing for friends has just gone downhill.  I always thought it was crazy I never really wanted many friends and go out and be social as I was getting older but the older I get, the more comfortable I am with not needing that.  We live this life alone essentially and I realised you need to do things for yourself.  So these days while others are out socializing and whatnot, I'll be out there running, improving my guitar skills or just having time out.  I want to improve myself, not waste time on people who don't really give a fuck about me.

Choosing this place is better anyway, there's more people here that give a fuck about me than people in real life, so I'm blessed and happy with that.

That's understandable.  I think aging has quite a bit to do with it too, but some people just have the right personality to be constantly on the go and always in a socializing mood.  I say do whatever makes you happy bro!  :tup

wolfking

Quote from: Dublagent66 on September 12, 2022, 04:25:48 PM
Quote from: wolfking on September 11, 2022, 04:50:54 PM
Quote from: Dublagent66 on September 09, 2022, 01:04:13 PM
Quote from: wolfking on September 06, 2022, 08:50:00 PM
I keep meaning to post something here but not sure where to start.  I will though.

Dublagent, can I ask what's lead you to live like you have the last year and have you always been that way?   I get what you mean though and for me it's just work and home at the moment.  But I've always kinda been like that.

Sorry man, just saw your post.  Yes, I've pretty much always been that way.  Never married.  No kids.  Been in lots of relationships, but none lasting more than 5 years.  This last year has been more about saving money for my retirement goal in 4 years.  Plus, these days, I just don't feel like being around a lot people.  Concerts have pretty much come to a stop.  Working from home 3 days a week.  It all just makes sense to chill out and try to weather this economic storm.

However, for me it's mostly a personality thing.  This is gonna make you laugh, but long ago as a kid one time, my mom sent me to my room for whatever I did.  3 hours later I'm still playing in my room.  I think I've always been able to be happy on my own for the most part.  I do like going out with friends once in a while, but not so much lately.

Thanks for the sharing your thoughts there mate.  I figured as much, I can mostly relate.  That doesn't make me laugh though.  I was kind of the same.  Wanted a hobby, picked up the guitar and rarely came out again.  As I get older too, I prefer my own company, with the misses of course.  But even we like time apart and do our own things differently.  I don't try and get away from her to go out 'with the boys,' I get away to have my own time.

My wanting and needing for friends has just gone downhill.  I always thought it was crazy I never really wanted many friends and go out and be social as I was getting older but the older I get, the more comfortable I am with not needing that.  We live this life alone essentially and I realised you need to do things for yourself.  So these days while others are out socializing and whatnot, I'll be out there running, improving my guitar skills or just having time out.  I want to improve myself, not waste time on people who don't really give a fuck about me.

Choosing this place is better anyway, there's more people here that give a fuck about me than people in real life, so I'm blessed and happy with that.

That's understandable.  I think aging has quite a bit to do with it too, but some people just have the right personality to be constantly on the go and always in a socializing mood. I say do whatever makes you happy bro! :tup

Same to you mate.  That's a simple yet wonderful piece of advice.

wolfking

Quote from: TheCountOfNYC on September 12, 2022, 10:05:57 AM
Quote from: wolfking on September 11, 2022, 04:52:33 PM
Quote from: TheCountOfNYC on September 11, 2022, 01:15:26 PM
Man I've been having a rough time these past few weeks. Apparently I have some unresolved trauma from my past that's coming back.

As a writers assistant for Nick Cannon's Wild N Out, my girlfriend has to travel for work sometimes. She left for Atlanta for this season on August 24th and she's coming back on September 24th. I was supposed to go visit her for Labor Day weekend, but earlier in the week she told me not to come because she needed time to herself as that weekend would be her first days off since she got there. My mind tends to escalate things, and I've been on a bit of a spiral since then. She's never given me any reason not to trust her, but I have severe trust issues from my dad's infidelity and my parents' subsequent divorce along with my ex-girlfriend and her repeated cheating throughout our nearly eight year relationship, and my mind is assuming the worst. I can't bring it up to my girlfriend as it would really hurt her because she's been nothing but great to me, and I know deep down that I can trust her, but my crippling self-doubt has been destroying me for the past couple of weeks to the point that I've been feeling physically ill. I don't know what to do, and part of me feels like I deserve it.

How long have you guys been together?

Tim is kinda right, that's a bit of a red flag mate.

We've been together for three and a half years. We spoke last night and even then she was working on her day off (she sent me a picture of what she was working on). She's barely spoken to her family while she's down there, which is an entirely different issue that I want to talk to her about when she gets back because I'm worried she's getting lost in her work and losing sight of those important to her, but we talked things out.

Ah, fair enough then mate, nice on speaking to her right away instead of letting it bubble away.  I've been on the end where the misses was getting fed up with work taking so much of my time.  A conversation or two definitely can easily resolve some things.

wolfking

Quote from: Skeever on September 12, 2022, 10:44:50 AM
I've really felt down the last few days. Just kind of have that feeling like my life is over, if I were to die tomorrow, it'd suck for my wife/kid, but also, not so much for me, I'd just feel bad about how much work my wife is being left with to do on her own.

Feels very shameful to say, especially when you have people in this very thread who are grappling with their own mortality in a way very more present than I am. But it's a really hard feeling to shake, like my own life is just one task after the next.

Your wife and child don't give you something you want to live for?  Genuine question.

Skeever

Quote from: wolfking on September 12, 2022, 04:49:32 PM
Quote from: Skeever on September 12, 2022, 10:44:50 AM
I've really felt down the last few days. Just kind of have that feeling like my life is over, if I were to die tomorrow, it'd suck for my wife/kid, but also, not so much for me, I'd just feel bad about how much work my wife is being left with to do on her own.

Feels very shameful to say, especially when you have people in this very thread who are grappling with their own mortality in a way very more present than I am. But it's a really hard feeling to shake, like my own life is just one task after the next.

Your wife and child don't give you something you want to live for?  Genuine question.

Oh they give me something to live for. But just because you get married and become a parent doesn't mean that you automatically feel 100% fulfilled in life. It's hard work- the hardest job I've ever had. I envy guys who can just be 100% into their wife and kids and have no personal aspirations outside the family. But also, I've met exactly 0 of them. Kids grow up, women also have aspirations outside of you, pouring everything into that and not working toward any sense of self fulfillment beyond the family seems like a recipe for some codependent issues to me

TAC

Quote from: Skeever on September 12, 2022, 06:33:35 PM
Quote from: wolfking on September 12, 2022, 04:49:32 PM
Quote from: Skeever on September 12, 2022, 10:44:50 AM
I've really felt down the last few days. Just kind of have that feeling like my life is over, if I were to die tomorrow, it'd suck for my wife/kid, but also, not so much for me, I'd just feel bad about how much work my wife is being left with to do on her own.

Feels very shameful to say, especially when you have people in this very thread who are grappling with their own mortality in a way very more present than I am. But it's a really hard feeling to shake, like my own life is just one task after the next.

Your wife and child don't give you something you want to live for?  Genuine question.

Oh they give me something to live for. But just because you get married and become a parent doesn't mean that you automatically feel 100% fulfilled in life. It's hard work- the hardest job I've ever had. I envy guys who can just be 100% into their wife and kids and have no personal aspirations outside the family. But also, I've met exactly 0 of them. Kids grow up, women also have aspirations outside of you, pouring everything into that and not working toward any sense of self fulfillment beyond the family seems like a recipe for some codependent issues to me

Again, an honest question...what kind of aspirations do you have? Curing cancer? Climbing Mt Everest? yeah, those aren't getting met.

A hobby? Job satisfaction? DTFing? Listening to music? These are all things that provide enjoyment to my day that I do for myself. Is there nothing that you can do or think of that makes YOU smile during the day?

wolfking

Quote from: Skeever on September 12, 2022, 06:33:35 PM
Quote from: wolfking on September 12, 2022, 04:49:32 PM
Quote from: Skeever on September 12, 2022, 10:44:50 AM
I've really felt down the last few days. Just kind of have that feeling like my life is over, if I were to die tomorrow, it'd suck for my wife/kid, but also, not so much for me, I'd just feel bad about how much work my wife is being left with to do on her own.

Feels very shameful to say, especially when you have people in this very thread who are grappling with their own mortality in a way very more present than I am. But it's a really hard feeling to shake, like my own life is just one task after the next.

Your wife and child don't give you something you want to live for?  Genuine question.

Oh they give me something to live for. But just because you get married and become a parent doesn't mean that you automatically feel 100% fulfilled in life. It's hard work- the hardest job I've ever had. I envy guys who can just be 100% into their wife and kids and have no personal aspirations outside the family. But also, I've met exactly 0 of them. Kids grow up, women also have aspirations outside of you, pouring everything into that and not working toward any sense of self fulfillment beyond the family seems like a recipe for some codependent issues to me

Oh fuck, thanks, I'll definitely steer clear then.  :lol

What you say makes sense so I guess you need to find something solely for yourself to focus on.  Easier said than done, I know.

Skeever

QuoteA hobby? Job satisfaction? DTFing? Listening to music? These are all things that provide enjoyment to my day that I do for myself. Is there nothing that you can do or think of that makes YOU smile during the day?

Well, please keep in mind I was just venting, I'm working through all of this stuff with professional help and I don't need the form to bail me out or fix it for me. But to answer your question, there are many days where I cant find enjoyment in a single thing because all the other anxieties and pressures of home and work take up every bit of mental energy I have. It could be something very simple, like a broken appliance, but I just can't let it go and relax even if I've done all I can do at the moment.

My wife and I talk about this quite a bit and I am actively looking for some kind of hobby or thing I can do outside to have a break and find some enjoyment but, as wolf said, easier said than done.

wolfking

Quote from: Skeever on September 12, 2022, 06:47:23 PM
QuoteA hobby? Job satisfaction? DTFing? Listening to music? These are all things that provide enjoyment to my day that I do for myself. Is there nothing that you can do or think of that makes YOU smile during the day?

Well, please keep in mind I was just venting, I'm working through all of this stuff with professional help and I don't need the form to bail me out or fix it for me. But to answer your question, there are many days where I cant find enjoyment in a single thing because all the other anxieties and pressures of home and work take up every bit of mental energy I have. It could be something very simple, like a broken appliance, but I just can't let it go and relax even if I've done all I can do at the moment.

My wife and I talk about this quite a bit and I am actively looking for some kind of hobby or thing I can do outside to have a break and find some enjoyment but, as wolf said, easier said than done.

I get that, this year I've had heaps of days of days where nothing gives me pleasure, everything single fucking thing is a chore.  I just accept it, that's life in my eyes.  :lol

Can I ask, has getting professional help actually helped?