The Depressed/Angry Thread.

[73109]

Dude, you're a dude. Having porn is the norm, not the exception. I wouldn't worry.

[Dark Castle]

I've been outed before.  Not for porn, but for other things.  It's so uncomfortable.  I mean, if it means anything, everyone's hiding something, and most people are mature enough to recognize that within themselves, so hopefully they'll still be friends to you.

Well I started a "Men post your bra sizes" thread for comedic humor and it seems to be going well
And I hope that by people telling my friend off that means they don't care about me being a tad of a pervy :B

[Ħ]

What's the forum about?  Obviously you are being open to us about it.  So I imagine there's a good reason you don't want people over there to know about it?

[Dark Castle]

What's the forum about?  Obviously you are being open to us about it.  So I imagine there's a good reason you don't want people over there to know about it?

It's a pixel art forum, and there are a few members who are very, very, very easy to offend.  We had a whole shit storm over Male Gaze and Feminism back in July, so while it's a fun forum, you kind of have to be careful on certain subjects or those few members rear their heads in anger.  The reason why I can be open about it here is that everyone here is obviously much more lax and open on the subject, so I don't feel awkward about it here

[73109]

Dude, you're a dude. Having porn is the norm, not the exception. I wouldn't worry.

[Dark Castle]

Dude, you're a dude. Having porn is the norm, not the exception. I wouldn't worry.

I know, just some people you'd rather not tell :I

[dethklok09]

If they don't like you for having porn, then they're probably not worth associating with (if they're that "elitist" I guess for a lack of a better term)

Anyway whatever, I've been feeling pretty shitty lately too. Three cheers for falling behind in school, and actively being an asshole to all of your friends 

[73109]

Dude, you're a dude. Having porn is the norm, not the exception. I wouldn't worry.

I know, just some people you'd rather not tell :I

I see no reason as to why not. Any contrary idea is absurd. I'd be willing to bet that some dudes on the forum are married...do they not have sex with their partners? I probably think not. It's natural for humans to want to do that shit and if you can't do it with a partner, most people (over 99% of guys) will turn to themselves.

[Dark Castle]

Dude, you're a dude. Having porn is the norm, not the exception. I wouldn't worry.

I know, just some people you'd rather not tell :I

I see no reason as to why not. Any contrary idea is absurd. I'd be willing to bet that some dudes on the forum are married...do they not have sex with their partners? I probably think not. It's natural for humans to want to do that shit and if you can't do it with a partner, most people (over 99% of guys) will turn to themselves.

Luckily everyone's been pretty chill about it, and surprisingly, it's a pretty young forum 13-late 20's at most.  The Admin is only in his early 20s I believe.  But yeah everybody just let it drop and no one's giving me shit so that's a good sign

[73109]

That would be a normal sign...seriously, just

[Dark Castle]

ohh I am alright B))))

EDIT: Oh yeah, and even though I'll never collect it, I won the $20 

[lateralus88]

Man, it feels so wrong that I've been hanging out with two of my best friends and I can't help but feel like a pile of shit all day. Lonely, depressed, and a bit anxious all day.

And my mood keeps bouncing up and down, which is not helping.

[DebraKadabra]

^ I remember times like that.  Chin up, man--it DOES get better, trust me.

[Dark Castle]

Well I just found out that my boss scheduled me all weekend even though I called a few days before the schedule was made to let him know I can't work this weekend. Now I can't attend Global Game Jam at my campus where we split into groups to make a game over 48 hours, and awards Sunday. My Game Design 111 teacher made it a requirement to attend and if we can't we have to make a game all by ourselves... So I guess its a good thing I've been making a shoot em up over the week in anticipation for Global Game Jam....
FUCK.

[MasterShakezula]

I'm in fear of the future, particularly of failing to get into a university out of HS.  Also, I realize more and more that I am probably just average, which means I was lied to by my family my entire life.  Finally, I am the person in my family who LEAST needs to see a psychologist, but next week, I'm going to be seeing one on a regular basis.  I am sane and not handicapped, and do not need a psychologist to know so. 

[73109]

You'll get into a university, you seem fairly smart.

[kirksnosehair]

Dark Castle - pornography is pretty normal for a 19 year old person.  If someone else is uptight about it, that's THEIR problem, not yours.

Reality checks from my dad remind me of what a piece of shit I am.

You're not a piece of shit.  Don't let your dad define who or what you are.  Define yourself.

[Ħ]

I'm in fear of the future, particularly of failing to get into a university out of HS.  Also, I realize more and more that I am probably just average, which means I was lied to by my family my entire life.  Finally, I am the person in my family who LEAST needs to see a psychologist, but next week, I'm going to be seeing one on a regular basis.  I am sane and not handicapped, and do not need a psychologist to know so. 

Hard to say if you were lied to.  We only know our own experience.  From what I know, my family and teachers always buttered me up, telling me I'm bright and smart.  I think I am.  But of course I think I am.  It's really hard to say.

I find that assuming you are better than you are is more effective than assuming you are worse than you are.  If you think you're average, and live with that attitude, the best you'll probably end up being is average.  If you think you're a genius, and live with that attitude, you might not actually acquire ingenuity, but you'll probably be higher than average.

[Fiery Winds]

So apparently you need at least 7 units to qualify for the state university grant at a California State University. Would have been nice for the financial aid office to tell me that 4 weeks ago, when I called to verify the readjusted amount of financial aid if I dropped my elective class and went down to 6 units. They said I'd get 75% of the grant for being 3/4 time (graduate level). Called today and got the truth AFTER the add/drop deadline. Guess who's out $1300? （╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

On top of that, I accidentally texted my ex (clicked the wrong name), which was awkward and brought back horrible memories.  I've been reconsidering the teaching profession for awhile and have started searching for jobs related to my BS degree (pun intended) of Industrial Technology: Electronics and Computer Technology.  It's been 2.5 years since I graduated, so my skills aren't as fresh as they could be. 

I'm still living at home at 25 because I'm either in school or unable to get a job capable of supporting myself on my own, and being around my family all the time is really starting to take its toll.  I need to get out, and fast.

 

[MasterShakezula]

My family and probably the school will as well try to indicate to me that I am screwed out of going to college unless I have a cumulative of like 4.2 or something, like the Asians who are in all honors and stuff. 

Most other students/people here tell me I'm quite fine with a GPA in the upper 3.Xs.  Also, apparently, one can transfer to a university from a community college by doing real well there, whilst saving a good amount of money.  Anyone here know more about that and whether it's true/a dependable method?

Why am I getting so anxious about school?  Why couldn't I have been more concerned and have tried to be more responsable 2 years ago?  (Good god do I sometimes kind of wish my family hadn't stopped being super strict with me about school when I entered high school.   Or were Asian.)  I am so dumb, in the sense that I get super worried about school sometimes, and then proceed to not care and half-ass things.  I really don't like myself when I do that and I keep on doing that because I'm too lazy and unmotivated to stop being lazy and unmotivated.  I mean, hot damn, my grandmother tried all through elementary and middle school emulating Asian parenting to teach me discipline and I LEARNED NOTHING FROM IT! 

[dethklok09]

well you seem more concerned about this than I am about mine (and you're doing much better than I am in the first place). Anyway, I guess just do well on the standardized tests and shit. with a gpa in the 3 range you should be able to have a good selection of places to go to.

[antigoon]

My family and probably the school will as well try to indicate to me that I am screwed out of going to college unless I have a cumulative of like 4.2 or something, like the Asians who are in all honors and stuff. 

Most other students/people here tell me I'm quite fine with a GPA in the upper 3.Xs.  Also, apparently, one can transfer to a university from a community college by doing real well there, whilst saving a good amount of money.  Anyone here know more about that and whether it's true/a dependable method?

Why am I getting so anxious about school?  Why couldn't I have been more concerned and have tried to be more responsable 2 years ago?  (Good god do I sometimes kind of wish my family hadn't stopped being super strict with me about school when I entered high school.   Or were Asian.)  I am so dumb, in the sense that I get super worried about school sometimes, and then proceed to not care and half-ass things.  I really don't like myself when I do that and I keep on doing that because I'm too lazy and unmotivated to stop being lazy and unmotivated.  I mean, hot damn, my grandmother tried all through elementary and middle school emulating Asian parenting to teach me discipline and I LEARNED NOTHING FROM IT! 

DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO ME A FEW DAYS AGO.

[jcmistat]

I'm still living at home at 25 because I'm either in school or unable to get a job capable of supporting myself on my own, and being around my family all the time is really starting to take its toll.  I need to get out, and fast.

 

Turning 25 in July, that's exactly how I feel. The longer I stay at home the worse I'll be. I thought finally getting my first job (retail, 3 months ago) and making income would make me a lot happier. It's the opposite I'm more depressed than I've ever been. I can't afford to move out because I only work part time but no desire to work full. 

[Ħ]

My family and probably the school will as well try to indicate to me that I am screwed out of going to college unless I have a cumulative of like 4.2 or something, like the Asians who are in all honors and stuff. 

Most other students/people here tell me I'm quite fine with a GPA in the upper 3.Xs.  Also, apparently, one can transfer to a university from a community college by doing real well there, whilst saving a good amount of money.  Anyone here know more about that and whether it's true/a dependable method?

Why am I getting so anxious about school?  Why couldn't I have been more concerned and have tried to be more responsable 2 years ago?  (Good god do I sometimes kind of wish my family hadn't stopped being super strict with me about school when I entered high school.   Or were Asian.)  I am so dumb, in the sense that I get super worried about school sometimes, and then proceed to not care and half-ass things.  I really don't like myself when I do that and I keep on doing that because I'm too lazy and unmotivated to stop being lazy and unmotivated.  I mean, hot damn, my grandmother tried all through elementary and middle school emulating Asian parenting to teach me discipline and I LEARNED NOTHING FROM IT! 

Yep. I don't know how it is around the country, but definitely where we're from, the community college route is not only cheaper, but it increases your chances of getting accepted by colleges.

[MasterShakezula]

DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO ME A FEW DAYS AGO.

I did, but my irrational neurotic side speaks WAY louder than my rational, calm, side, and it proceeded to drive me into panic, like it does really well at.   That's probably much more  cause for concern than anything else, really.  Really, that side really ought to calm down a bit.  Or go away. 

(Really, that side of me is a pain in the ass and I'm sick of it as anyone.)

That said, you are definitely making more sense than my family/school authority people. 

Yep. I don't know how it is around the country, but definitely where we're from, the community college route is not only cheaper, but it increases your chances of getting accepted by colleges.

Interesting and will definitely want to consider giving that a shot.

[Sigz]

You can transfer to other unis from CCs, but do be aware that it is not always smooth process (i.e. go to CC for two years, transfer to a UC or other uni for another two years). Getting the classes you need at a CC can be a serious bitch, and basically every CC student I know will take more than four years to get their degree. Of course, it's much cheaper and so easier to support yourself there than at a university.

However, you can definitely still get into a UC with a GPA in the upper 3s, so don't fret about that.

[Fiery Winds]

You can transfer to other unis from CCs, but do be aware that it is not always smooth process (i.e. go to CC for two years, transfer to a UC or other uni for another two years). Getting the classes you need at a CC can be a serious bitch, and basically every CC student I know will take more than four years to get their degree. Of course, it's much cheaper and so easier to support yourself there than at a university.

However, you can definitely still get into a UC with a GPA in the upper 3s, so don't fret about that.

This.  I went the CC to CSU route, and it was much cheaper than going to CSU full time.  If you don't know what you want to major in, just complete all your lower-division General Education courses.  There are 3 GE plans: CSU, UC, and both.  As long as you FULLY complete the plan and have it certified by the CC, it's automatically accepted by the transfer university.  If it's not completed and certified, they can nitpick about qualifying classes, but if it's certified they have to accept it.

[Ħ]

I realized that I'm not getting married or having a family. It's just not going to happen. :/

Through a minute of self-reflection, how did I get from such a high place to such a low one? Crap, the evening's ruined.

[lateralus88]

I've been doing that for years now. And I'm not the best person to give advice on this sort of thing (you know, practice what you preach) but I'm seeing a counselor about this very thing. It's all about self control of thoughts and apparently getting yourself to counter-react to those thoughts with something more positive or add a new twist like "Actually fuck that I have no way of truly telling that it's always going to be this way" and then just leave it at that.


I'm right there with ya man, trying really hard to maintain a less...negative thought pattern.

[MasterShakezula]

I have no interest in having a family.  Could take it or leave marriage.  So, I can't really relate to you, H.  Try not to get so down.  And also, don't be so sure you're not going to be able to get something.  That sort of mindset leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Question:  Any of y'all have to deal with an panic-y, neurotic side that irrationally ends up dominating your good, rational side when stressed or worried?  If so, what are some things you do to let reason prevail and your logical side maintain control? 

[jcmistat]

I realized that I'm not getting married or having a family. It's just not going to happen. :/

Through a minute of self-reflection, how did I get from such a high place to such a low one? Crap, the evening's ruined.

I can't see myself doing those either. Although I want to get married I don't know if I could start a family. Not thinking I'd be a good father. Don't worry my night's ruined too.

[lateralus88]

I have no interest in having a family.  Could take it or leave marriage.  So, I can't really relate to you, H.  Try not to get so down.  And also, don't be so sure you're not going to be able to get something.  That sort of mindset leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Question:  Any of y'all have to deal with an panic-y, neurotic side that irrationally ends up dominating your good, rational side when stressed or worried?  If so, what are some things you do to let reason prevail and your logical side maintain control?

Once again, it's behaviour like this that has caused me to see a counselor through my school. I can't quite say I have a good fix for it, but it really is very much about controlling your thought patterns by coming up with new things to replace the negative with. Especially when you get yourself in a never ending circle of irrational thoughts like "I'll be alone forever".

[Cyclopssss]

I realized that I'm not getting married or having a family. It's just not going to happen. :/

Through a minute of self-reflection, how did I get from such a high place to such a low one? Crap, the evening's ruined.

Dude, you´re 20 frigging years old! Hell, at that age, I hadn´t even had my first gf, let alone a sexual relationship!

Things happen when they happen, the way they happen and when you LEAST expect them to happen, is my experience.

[kirksnosehair]

I realized that I'm not getting married or having a family. It's just not going to happen. :/

Through a minute of self-reflection, how did I get from such a high place to such a low one? Crap, the evening's ruined.

Dude, you´re 20 frigging years old! Hell, at that age, I hadn´t even had my first gf, let alone a sexual relationship!

Things happen when they happen, the way they happen and when you LEAST expect them to happen, is my experience.

Wisdom

[yorost]

I realized that I'm not getting married or having a family. It's just not going to happen. :/

Through a minute of self-reflection, how did I get from such a high place to such a low one? Crap, the evening's ruined.

Dude, you´re 20 frigging years old! Hell, at that age, I hadn´t even had my first gf, let alone a sexual relationship!

Things happen when they happen, the way they happen and when you LEAST expect them to happen, is my experience.

Wisdom

Yup, can't say how many people say this, and it's so true for me.  Of my two most serious relationships, one was completely unexpected right up to when it started, and the other happened almost on accident (and ended in marriage ).