The Depressed/Angry Thread.

[dethklok09]

I dunno I just really needed to vent, I'm not out for compliments or whatever. Anyway I've been trying to work on fixing these issues for a long time now. I mean I'll have times where I go in the positive direction but then eventually I just go back to where I started. anyway hopefully I can pull myself out of this, and atleast keep onto the positive direction for as long as possible. Anyway thanks bro, it does actually really mean a lot that I'm able to get this off my chest and be able to communicate with someone about it.

[MasterShakezula]

Well, all I can say is that it'll take as long as it takes.  It took me my first 2 years of high school to figure out what I really wanted and needed out of life, and that's just as far as I know right now.  I hope you get to where you're looking to get, socially and emotionally, preferably sooner rather than later.

And no problem, bro; this is one of those weird-ass communities where people are absurdly close and willing to lend a helping hand; I'm glad to do so for ya.

[Ħ]

I don't know what I want to do in life...

Everyone seems to be passionate about at least something, but I really can't get interested in a whole lot.

[MasterShakezula]

I know what I want (to have a career involving the playing/writing/teaching of music).

I just hope I wouldn't be figuratively committing suicide by doing so.   

As for you, Hayden, think about what all you're good at, and what all you really are passionate about.  Then think about what overlaps between the two, or what you are passionate about that you could be willing to put the work into getting good at.

There's a start, at any rate.

[dethklok09]

I agree with shake, I mean myself I've basically figured that I might as well enjoy what I'm doing to make a living if I only live once. I know it sounds all cheesy and over said but I mean it's basically just something I live by.

[lateralus88]

I really want to crawl in a hole, develop the memory of a goldfish and flush myself of all human emotions.



I don't even care if I am being angsty, I hate things right now. All of the things.

[jcmistat]

I don't know what I want to do in life...

Everyone seems to be passionate about at least something, but I really can't get interested in a whole lot.

That's how I feel, running out of time. Dropped out of junior college after one semester. I'm 24 and got my first job a couple of weeks ago and got my first paycheck this week but I should be happier. I actually have some sort of schedule instead of wasting my days away. Although I've only worked for 3 weeks I already feel like I'm a drone. I'm not going to quit early though, I want the money. I finally took that first step to move on with my life yet it feels like I haven't progressed.

[Aramatheis]

trivial problems

[Aramatheis]

sorry about the double post.


oh, and the fucking text wall of doom up there. none of you care about my personal life.
why the fuck am I bothering you guys with this shit..

[MasterShakezula]

Dude, here are two things I think I could offer you:

1.  Is what you're studying (chemistry) something you truly have a passion for and something you will be able to sleep at night in the future knowing that it's what you'll be involved in for the rest of your life?

If that's the case, it sounds like you're just in a rut, or something; it it isn't something you have a passion for, anyways, then no wonder it's troubling you; when you're studying something to that extent and you have no passion for it, you're going to be rafting uphill from the start.

2.  As for your family, perhaps you need time away from your family.  Some people in life just have better chemistry with their families, and can relate more with them than others, and it sounds like you're just not on the same dot as them.  For example, I love my family, but I don't plan on sticking around with them too much when I'm in college; I just don't have that much in common with them.

[PuffyPat]

I'm not so much depressed, but more just need to say some stuff.

When I was in high school I had a really good group of friends, and then one of them moved to Florida to go to college, and after that our group has really just grown apart. We used to have epic movie nights and go for walks in the park at 3 in the morning during the winter, and now we barely talk. And we're talking about my closest friends here. I know stuff like this was bound to happen, but I never realized it would happen so quick. Right after I started college we just stopped hanging out. I really miss just sitting around in basements, living rooms, and garages, and just talking about things. Just thinking about all the stuff we used to do just makes me feel empty inside. I mean these are the friends who pretty much kept from falling of the edge when I was really depressed in high school, and now we barely talk. I guess friends come and go, I just thought that these were gonna be my best friends for a long time. They probably will be, but right now is just a weird phase for us.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd... I'm done.

[jcmistat]

I have a core group of friends that I've known all my life. Still strong today but I know eventually we will have to move on. I don't want it to happen. Slowly losing members and seeing it fall apart sucks.

[chknptpie]

Holy shit my sister pisses me off... and I'm now not looking forward to thanksgiving or christmas.

So a couple weeks ago we were at dinner, discussing Thanksgiving. My boyfriend and I have three to go to - His mom, His Dad, My family. So we told her, let us know when your dinner is we will work around it. She says no big deal, whenever. My family is flying in as well, so we plan on seeing them Wednesday and Friday. We said we will come over in the afternoon, they can eat without us.

Today she asks me if she should count us in for dinner since she is going shopping soon. I told her thought you were doing dinner without us? You are going to wait for us now? To which is replied with "no, the 12 other people want to eat at 2. Kind of surprised 4 family members you haven't seen in 3 years isn't a bit more of a priority to you."

WTF, at this point I'm so pissed off that I leave work early. I tell her I think that statement is rude and she brings up last year about waiting for us. I reiterate that we have 3 places to visit, they can eat without us. We have to accommodate everyone. She then explains how it's messed up that time is split 3 ways, it should be 50/50. I tell her my boyfriend has 2 families, there is no changing that. If our dad was alive it would be split 4 ways. Thats also why her house is the last stop, so we can stay there as late as everyone is up - not be forced to leave at some point. Also the reason that we are spending Wednesday and Friday with my family - because they have flown in... not to mention they are going to Vegas on Saturday, soooooo....

She says my family was placed on the backburner last year, which is total bullshit. We had a schedule and were pretty close to it. She sent mean texts about us not being there early enough last year, even though we said we would be there around 6.  We are the ones driving around to 3 different dinners, we need some leeway here. It is not okay for her to make us feel guilty about spending time with my boyfriends family.

She then states that we should host so everyone comes to us... jesus. Also says "didn't realize your family means so little to you".

I then tell her that time is actually split 50/50 this year because Adam's mom has graciously set her Thanksgiving for Sunday. To which basically shuts her up for the most part. She then brings up Christmas and how we will work on her schedule for that holiday and that next year Adam and I will host every one.

I tell her that I am not planning for holiday's over a year in advance. There is no telling whose family is coming or if we might go to visit people. She ends with "You unbudging pain in my ass! Whatever, I'm done with this conversation"


Soooooooo excited for holidays now.

tl;dr my sister is a bitch

[dethklok09]

Sounds like she's fuckin' full of herself and can't seem to comprehend how much stress you guys are already going through. Jesus christ.


Anyway as for me, struggling in school, trying to keep a 2 bands going (the shit has to be held in my basement because lugging drums around isn't gonna work) while my parents have weird working/school schedules and me having no car, and eventually i'm gonna have to focus on getting a job.

I know as far as the band things it's not a necessity, but i'm really trying to get some band experience in before I get to college. I just want to have atleast a shot at maybe becoming a musician when I get older.

Other minor shit has been pissing me off too, but whatever

[Aramatheis]

@chknptpie

I can see how frustrating that is.. my sister makes me feel like this as well, sometimes (well, most of the time).
All I can think to say to you about this would be not to take it to heart. I say this because, even though it is unfair of your sister to treat you like this (from a purely logical standpoint you've done nothing wrong), you have to keep in mind that your sister isn't as angry with you as she is upset, since she clearly values you being around for these holidays.

So do your best to make everything work out (schedule wise), and talk to your sister in person about it. Calmly explain your position/situation, and that her words upset you. Hopefully then you two can be friendly again, and maybe work something out for future holidays.

good luck

[chknptpie]

Aramatheis... thanks. Thats actually a pretty calming thing to read in the morning when I'm still pissed off ha. It's very hard and frustrating to stay calm when I'm being insulted. It's also very hard for my boyfriend to not go off on her, since it revolves around his family as well.

[Aramatheis]

 

no problem
hopefully you'll all be able to get through this without any regrets/resentment

[chknptpie]

no problem
hopefully you'll all be able to get through this without any regrets/resentment

sadly it doesn't appear to be that way


Email string below, start at bottom..


From: Tricia
To: 'Laurinda

I really have no idea what is going on with you. Have you started new medication or something? I care enough to work with 3 families to schedule holidays. I care enough to drive all over the east valley to visit people. If you are saying that you don’t want to be involved in Christmas, then we can just drop the presents off. THAT is what I am saying.

I refuse to continue to argue about this. It has to be scheduled and compromised from ALL parties involved. Holidays are not just about you and what you are doing. You have Bryan’s family, we both have mom, Adam and I have his mom and Dad. It’s not something that one person figures out. We can talk about this when you stop making things so dramatic and stressful. You are starting to act like mom was acting about your wedding and its getting pretty frightening.


From: Laurinda
To: Tricia

If visiting is so important to you, then you plan it. So far all I’m reading is you care enough to drop presents at a doorstep.


From: Tricia
To: Laurinda

Dinner doesn’t matter to me, visiting with everyone is what matters to me. If you don’t care, we’ll just drop the presents off at your door and let you do whatever you want with them. Dinner is not important.


From: Laurinda
To: Tricia

Do whatever. You figure it out. I’m not even getting a tree. I’m sure you don’t care about a dinner cause you already have 2.


From: Tricia
To: Laurinda

Christmas can be as easy as getting together and opening presents, at my house or yours, whichever. It doesn’t have to be a big deal with a major dinner. No family will be here from out of town right? Or did I miss that memo.


From: Laurinda
To: Tricia

You might want to talk to Amy about not coming for dinner. She is upset and would rather wait till 4 if it meant you’d be there.

Mom is not coming at all now.

I am not doing Christmas. DONE.

[Dark Castle]

Some assholes dumped laundry detergent all over my car, and I can't get it off  .  Any help?

[Aramatheis]

sadness

well all I can think of is giving your mother a call so she can hear your side of the story

maybe she'll lay down the law and set things straight with your sister

[chknptpie]

sadness

well all I can think of is giving your mother a call so she can hear your side of the story

maybe she'll lay down the law and set things straight with your sister

Not a problem, my mother and sister are also fighting about my sister spending $400 on food and decorations and invited more people than expected... and my sister is now asking our family that is flying in to help pay for things... WTF

My mother is no longer coming to Thanksgiving because my sister is acting so psychotic.

[Jamesman42]

oh, hi, deep depression

[Jamesman42]

This semester was hard on me besides the actual internship. I felt like a kamikaze the entire time. It was a lot of extra work piled on to having to be teaching from 7am to 2pm and working more, all for free.

I had some financial support from my uncle but it was rare. I even had to borrow money from a friend. I have worked as much as possible. I killed myself this semester and I feel I have nothing to show for it. I have never been this broke before living on my own. I feel pathetic.

In 6 weeks I will well on my way to doing very good with finances. But right now I feel utterly alone, depressed, and wanting to say walk away and give up. How? I dunno. Drive somewhere far away, as far as I could afford (not very far).

I just want to fucking take a break from life and come back soon. Fuck everyone and everything because life is shitty and not worth a damn.

[Progmetty]

Is the diet making this whole thing worse for you?

[Jamesman42]

I don't think so. If anything it makes me think clearer. Which may be a bad thing in this case, but actually if I was eating bad still I'd be having much worse thoughts.

[Progmetty]

So that's good

[Jamesman42]

Relatively, yeah...

[nightmare_cinema]

My life is filled with fail right now...

I'm seriously skint. I was already poor enough (despite just being paid), and then yesterday I found a seven inch crack in my car windscreen. Now I have to get that repaired and pay for prescription medication, I have around -£10 to last me the next 30 days. I have no backup plan except for a credit card and I'm already paying off a large loan that I took out to clear my student overdraft and credit card a few months ago.

My career's going nowhere fast. I know what I want to do, but I can't do it yet, so I'm treading water at a job I don't particularly like and which isn't even remotely in my field of interest.

I'm in pain every day, for the past seven years. Long story, let's just say I'm seriously ill (not terminally, just as in my quality of life is shit right now), and the one treatment that could possibly help me has been rejected by the NHS because it costs too much money. So I take 100 pills a week just to try and cope, take prescription Ketamine and Morphine and try carry on, get disciplinary action at work because of all the time I've had off sick. It makes me SO drowsy I've been nearly falling asleep driving to work in the mornings, on the days I can actually go.

My mum's still dead, it's approaching the one year anniversary and no matter how bad I feel about it and how much I want her back, she's gonna stay dead. I lost her to alcoholism and I wouldn't wish what she went through on my worst enemies.

I hate myself right now, I put on around a stone this past year over medication and I want to be skinny again SO much I actually feel sick when I see myself. I feel like I have an eating disorder yet I can't stop eating, and I can't make myself sick.

[lateralus88]

You need a hug. A large, gigantic, furry bear hug.




*provides*

[nightmare_cinema]

*accepts* thank you luckily I have the most incredible friends and a tiny but amazing family but I'm still a bit sick of my current situation.

Went to this Christmas turning on of lights thing in my city tonight with my nephew and brother and boyfriend and it was near the place my mum worked, I could have cried right there in the middle of a few thousand people celebrating because she should have been there with us, watching my nephew grow up and experiencing life, but instead she died due to an awful illness which ruined her life and feels like it almost ruined ours. I'm ok but I just miss her, you know? it's nearly a year now and I wish it wasn't going so fast, it's been too long since I last got to talk to her. /splurge

[Jamesman42]

*accepts* thank you luckily I have the most incredible friends and a tiny but amazing family but I'm still a bit sick of my current situation.

Went to this Christmas turning on of lights thing in my city tonight with my nephew and brother and boyfriend and it was near the place my mum worked, I could have cried right there in the middle of a few thousand people celebrating because she should have been there with us, watching my nephew grow up and experiencing life, but instead she died due to an awful illness which ruined her life and feels like it almost ruined ours. I'm ok but I just miss her, you know? it's nearly a year now and I wish it wasn't going so fast, it's been too long since I last got to talk to her. /splurge

I'm sorry for your loss. I dunno if you saw my thread, but I lost my mom 8 years ago. It's still rough sometimes, but amazing people in your life (including DTF) make it bearable and can help you rise above. Time is a healer. Love you NC

[nightmare_cinema]

Aww thank you, no I didn't see your thread, I've been so busy lately I've not had as much time to come on here. I feel okay like 90% of the time, even on the days when I can't get her out of my head. But then something will set me off, like our two minutes silence for fallen war heros we had a week or two ago, and I'll just feel like my heart has been torn out. And then I'll remember who she used to be before she got sick, and who I've lost and what she won't be there for in the future. And I just miss her, it's rough watching a person you love to bits go through total hell!

[XJDenton]

Sending a giant hug your direction.

*HUGS*

[jcmistat]

Never had a good relationship with my Dad and so glad I am going to a friends for Thanksgiving dinner.

[dethklok09]

Ever feel like nothing makes you happy, and that even if you become happy, you'll just end up being extremely depressed again anyway.

As if happiness is supposed to be some rare occurance
 
And like feeling completely shitty and without ambition is how life is supposed to be lived out.

Yup I guess I feel that way I guess