The Depressed/Angry Thread.

[Hyperplex]

Why does it seem like every time I have a nice night planned with friends, all usually goes to shit because said friends decide at the last minute that they don't want to go at all? (Rhetorical question, obviously.)

[bout to crash]

Why does it seem like every time I have a nice night planned with friends, all usually goes to shit because said friends decide at the last minute that they don't want to go at all? (Rhetorical question, obviously.)

I think it just seems that way sometimes.

I've found that sometimes my expectations are too high though when it comes to things going as planned. Things never go as planned and I need to not get upset about that so much. It's life. That said, it still sucks to get bailed on by flaky people. I try to avoid those people.

[Hyperplex]

Oh I know and understand that. As it turns out, we got some even cooler people to go with. It just sucked when the people we had spent time planning with decided to up and ditch out of nowhere. People can be shits.

[PlaysLikeMyung]

I'm fucking sick of people cancelling plans with me at the last fucking second

Yeah, I hate that as well. Sadly, the more you're looking forward to something planned, the more likely it is that it won't happen...

I don't ask a lot of my friends at all, but when I do, it all goes to pieces. Sometimes I really hate being me

[Hyperplex]

It seems to be a rather common thing; people not giving a shit about the people they make plans with. All that matters is their own bullshit and fuck others if they change their minds. I'm happy we found other people to go out with. We should have made plans with them in the first place; they are always cool and up for fun.

[AcidLameLTE]

Ever since I moved to Aberdeen, I've struggled to make friends. Not because I'm difficult to get on with or something but because I'm so shy that I never bother to go out, even when I'm invited because I don't know enough people going or something stupid like that and because of that, less and less people are inviting me to do things. First year of university was the fucking worst. I had even less friends than I did now. The only people I could hang out with was my flat mates in the student accomodation and a couple of people from my course.

This is seriously depressing considering how many friends I had in Stornoway and how I pretty much had an oppertunity to hang out with people whenever.

Due to my lack of going out and making friends, I've found it very difficult to find any sort of relationship while I've been here as well.

Life sucks, big time. Sure, I've got a very good work placement, I've got a lot of money coming in, I'm doing well in university, I've got lots of possessions etc. but it doesn't make me happy.

[/rant]

[PlaysLikeMyung]

You always have us

[robwebster]

Ever since I moved to Aberdeen, I've struggled to make friends. Not because I'm difficult to get on with or something but because I'm so shy that I never bother to go out, even when I'm invited because I don't know enough people going or something stupid like that and because of that, less and less people are inviting me to do things. First year of university was the fucking worst. I had even less friends than I did now. The only people I could hang out with was my flat mates in the student accomodation and a couple of people from my course.

This is seriously depressing considering how many friends I had in Stornoway and how I pretty much had an oppertunity to hang out with people whenever.

Due to my lack of going out and making friends, I've found it very difficult to find any sort of relationship while I've been here as well.

Life sucks, big time. Sure, I've got a very good work placement, I've got a lot of money coming in, I'm doing well in university, I've got lots of possessions etc. but it doesn't make me happy.

[/rant]

Dude, just... go out! Chat to people. You're a pleasant, funny guy. Go to a party, get a couple of drinks down you, and join in a little. If you've got even one mate there, ask them to introduce you to people - get the ball rolling. You won't be their best friends immediately, but you can add them on facebook, say hi to them in the hallways; the works.

I've got a couple of housemates who don't do anything. I'm not sure how many friends they actually have outside of the house. I've never seen them leave the house except to go into town, or to go to lectures. They just sit indoors, watching horror films. I have no idea how - I'm almost too far the other way, I'm the one going a little too wild and sleeping in till two, missing half the lectures in the process. I have no idea how they're content to not know anyone, but they seem to be happy, and so that's fine. But if you're getting a bit wistful, then there's no reason you should think you're not able to find a few chums. Because you are.

Also, everyone's shy. Especially here in Britain. I'm always abluster with words and thoughts and silly jokes but I know that I'm awful at small talk. I always think I'm being tedious and patronising. "So, uni eh? Finished all your lectures? Ah that's pretty cool. Nice to finish your lectures." Blah blah blah blah BLAH! Awful rubbish. But if I told someone I was shy, they'd shower me in phlegm telling me not to be a c*nt. Everyone's riddled with insecurities, but most other people won't even notice you've got anything to be insecure about. Even if they do think "oh, he's not a natural," nobody's gonna go "what a HIDEOUS BASTARD he is for being shy." So don't worry about it! Very few people are lording it over as some kind of arbiter of social taste - by and large, the other person is just as likely also thinking "Oh I hope I'm coming across right." We're all wired the same. Just go outside and have a good laugh!

[nightmare_cinema]

Cheers Hyperplex and sonatafanica.

Yeah, that must be terrible to watch. I'm all about empowerment and taking control of a situation, but in those situations you have to, as they say, accept the things you can't change. I mean, you can still try to encourage her to go the healthy route but ultimately she makes her own decisions and you can't have the responsibility resting on your shoulders. Do what you can for her and be with her in the moment, but you're not obligated to be with her all the time.

Yeah I'm just backing away a bit now. I'm expecting the worst to happen at some point in the not too distant future, if it all goes wrong I know I can look back and believe I really tried my best but ultimately it's all about taking personal responsibility for your own actions so I'm there for her, but I'm not gonna ruin my own life trying to change things I can't affect. I have the best friends in the world for support and music to rely on so it's not as bad as it could be

[Pyroph]

Went to the dining center today to find a huge hole in a broken window. I think the reason why I'm so quiet/shy from people is from being reinforced from things like this.


Hope your situation gets better nc.

[bout to crash]

Cheers Hyperplex and sonatafanica.

Yeah, that must be terrible to watch. I'm all about empowerment and taking control of a situation, but in those situations you have to, as they say, accept the things you can't change. I mean, you can still try to encourage her to go the healthy route but ultimately she makes her own decisions and you can't have the responsibility resting on your shoulders. Do what you can for her and be with her in the moment, but you're not obligated to be with her all the time.

Yeah I'm just backing away a bit now. I'm expecting the worst to happen at some point in the not too distant future, if it all goes wrong I know I can look back and believe I really tried my best but ultimately it's all about taking personal responsibility for your own actions so I'm there for her, but I'm not gonna ruin my own life trying to change things I can't affect. I have the best friends in the world for support and music to rely on so it's not as bad as it could be

 

[Silver Tears]

I've been feeling a bit low recently, not because there's anything wrong with me personally but because one of my friends is going through a really tough time and I'm the only one she feels she can talk to about it. I really want to be there for her but it's hard because her life is falling to pieces and there's nothing she can do about it. It just sucks 'cos I'm usually really good at listening to people's problems and giving advice, but in this situation I just don't know what to do or say to make her feel better.

And AcidRain, you've now scared me that I won't have any friends when I go to uni. But Robwebster's right; go out and have some fun, us Aberdonians are a friendly bunch. 

[zepp-head]

Time to vent.

Rewind to December, I'm saving up for an engagement ring in order to propose to the woman I loved and dated for years.  We were planning a wedding in Summer of 2011 and everything was great.  The day after her birthday/Christmas (they're the same day) she tells me on the phone that she wants a break.  This was completely out of nowhere and I had no reason to assume she was the slightest bit unhappy in any way.  Turns out she had been cheating on me for a week.  She had sex with some random unprotected stranger she met one night before I went up to visit her before Christmas, and then again, the day after I left from visiting her. 

This led to months of feeling awful, as my life had just been completely flipped.  Turns out she went off her medication for anxiety and depression, and she just isn't the same person without it.  In fact, I think she is only capable of being a good person when she is chemically balanced, so she has only continued to get worse.  She is currently living in her parents basement, jobless and sleeping all day, sapping her family of all of their resources (and she is in a lot of financial trouble herself).  For a while I thought I could get it back on track if she went back on medication and went through therapy, but she never had the drive to do so, and wound up using the chance I gave her to get yet a new boyfriend.  She has now had a couple new guys since me and God knows how many she has slept with (I was lucky 16, so she is up to at least 20 now), so I had to cut contact because she treated me so poorly.

Now, we didn't officially live together, but I have a rented house of my own and have tons of her things in it which she said she would let me use until I am done with them.  I am moving soon so the plan is to have her get her things this Wednesday when I am not there.  I made one simple request, that her boyfriend doesn't come to help because I don't want him in my house.  She apparently threw a fit about this and is still fuming.  She told me if I'm going to be such a piss ant that I can box up all her things for her and leave them on the porch.  Seriously?  To make things better, her mother asked me if I have any friends that can help her.  I told her the truth, that all my friends hate her now (her family knows about all the cheating and going off meds) and that none of them would help her.  Can I honestly be expected to accommodate her this much?  Is my request that unreasonable?

She sure wasn't like this when I dated her.  I think it says something that her own family tells me I'm too good for her.  But still, getting that mad over my request makes me want to punch something.  I mean, why am I the bad guy here?

[robwebster]

Mate, she's cheated on you. Repeatedly. She's not got any moral high ground to take. Morally, she's not even clutching at straws - plunging towards the core of the earth. I'd wager not far from the mantle, by now, but she's on her way. To have that level of entitlement is frankly ridiculous. Just keep her stuff until she learns a bit of humility!

[AcidLameLTE]

Ever since I moved to Aberdeen, I've struggled to make friends. Not because I'm difficult to get on with or something but because I'm so shy that I never bother to go out, even when I'm invited because I don't know enough people going or something stupid like that and because of that, less and less people are inviting me to do things. First year of university was the fucking worst. I had even less friends than I did now. The only people I could hang out with was my flat mates in the student accomodation and a couple of people from my course.

This is seriously depressing considering how many friends I had in Stornoway and how I pretty much had an oppertunity to hang out with people whenever.

Due to my lack of going out and making friends, I've found it very difficult to find any sort of relationship while I've been here as well.

Life sucks, big time. Sure, I've got a very good work placement, I've got a lot of money coming in, I'm doing well in university, I've got lots of possessions etc. but it doesn't make me happy.

[/rant]

Dude, just... go out! Chat to people. You're a pleasant, funny guy. Go to a party, get a couple of drinks down you, and join in a little. If you've got even one mate there, ask them to introduce you to people - get the ball rolling. You won't be their best friends immediately, but you can add them on facebook, say hi to them in the hallways; the works.

I've got a couple of housemates who don't do anything. I'm not sure how many friends they actually have outside of the house. I've never seen them leave the house except to go into town, or to go to lectures. They just sit indoors, watching horror films. I have no idea how - I'm almost too far the other way, I'm the one going a little too wild and sleeping in till two, missing half the lectures in the process. I have no idea how they're content to not know anyone, but they seem to be happy, and so that's fine. But if you're getting a bit wistful, then there's no reason you should think you're not able to find a few chums. Because you are.

Also, everyone's shy. Especially here in Britain. I'm always abluster with words and thoughts and silly jokes but I know that I'm awful at small talk. I always think I'm being tedious and patronising. "So, uni eh? Finished all your lectures? Ah that's pretty cool. Nice to finish your lectures." Blah blah blah blah BLAH! Awful rubbish. But if I told someone I was shy, they'd shower me in phlegm telling me not to be a c*nt. Everyone's riddled with insecurities, but most other people won't even notice you've got anything to be insecure about. Even if they do think "oh, he's not a natural," nobody's gonna go "what a HIDEOUS BASTARD he is for being shy." So don't worry about it! Very few people are lording it over as some kind of arbiter of social taste - by and large, the other person is just as likely also thinking "Oh I hope I'm coming across right." We're all wired the same. Just go outside and have a good laugh!

Thanks. I'll try.

And AcidRain, you've now scared me that I won't have any friends when I go to uni. But Robwebster's right; go out and have some fun, us Aberdonians are a friendly bunch. 

I'm sure you'll be fine. I'm just too set in my islander ways

I've been feeling a bit low recently, not because there's anything wrong with me personally but because one of my friends is going through a really tough time and I'm the only one she feels she can talk to about it. I really want to be there for her but it's hard because her life is falling to pieces and there's nothing she can do about it. It just sucks 'cos I'm usually really good at listening to people's problems and giving advice, but in this situation I just don't know what to do or say to make her feel better.

I hate that feeling

[Silver Tears]

I've been feeling a bit low recently, not because there's anything wrong with me personally but because one of my friends is going through a really tough time and I'm the only one she feels she can talk to about it. I really want to be there for her but it's hard because her life is falling to pieces and there's nothing she can do about it. It just sucks 'cos I'm usually really good at listening to people's problems and giving advice, but in this situation I just don't know what to do or say to make her feel better.

I hate that feeling

Yeah it sucks  . This thread is pretty depressing...

[AcidLameLTE]

Do you know what's depressing? The lack of good gigs in Aberdeen.

Traveling to Glasgow every time I want to go to a gig is annoying. At least I don't have to take a boat, bus and train to get there now though

[Silver Tears]

At least you're going to gigs; none of my friends are into the same music as me so if I want to go see something other than a crappy local band I'd have to go by myself   

[AcidLameLTE]

Well, I've only been to three gigs here. One was with your brother (), when my friend's (from Stornoway) band played in one of the clubs on Belmont Street and some punk band.

[Silver Tears]

It's so weird you know my brother 

I've been to see a few random bands at Moshulu (I know they've changed name but I can't remember what it's called now) and when I was younger I got into Drummonds with my dad to see my brother play in battle of the bands.

[AcidLameLTE]

I think it's called The Warehouse now.

I've been to Battle of the Bands in Stornoway plenty of times. In fact, here's where we ran on stage when they were announcing the winners:

[Silver Tears]

Nice pic  Which one's you?

[AcidLameLTE]

Left. If you can guess what hoodie I'm wearing (from the small part of the logo that you can see), you get 1 million points.

[Silver Tears]

How am I supposed to guess from that tiiinnny part?! Not fair. Dammit I want those points!

[Sigz]

Protest the Hero?

[AcidLameLTE]

No but I want a PTH hoodie/t-shirt

It's Moving Pictures.

[Silver Tears]

Yay Moving Pictures was my first Rush album 

[soundgarden]

I dated a girl for about a year and we were extremely close, almost as if we were one.  Here thoughts were mine, and mine hers.  I felt I met my soul mate, the person who knows every single thing about me and I loved her like nothing else.  I stopped watching porn even.  When I thought about sex, it was always her, always!  My fantasies were always with her.  It was pathetic almost....

I would call her and just leave the phone there, her breathing alone soothed me.  She confided that she knew I was the one she will spend her life with.

Fast forward to earlier last year.  She and I had a fight because she wanted to take the next step, me proposing.  But we were only together for a year, I thought it was a bit reckless.  She then gave me the "if you truly love me you would" which was complete BS.  The fight escalated (our only real big fight ever, mind you).  She had to leave on a trip to Vegas for a week.  So I was home thinking about it, and I decided it was the right thing to do.  We were perfect for each other, we never fight big (except that one time) and we hate being apart, why prolong it?  So I dished out $6,000 and bought a gorgeous ring.  It had this Celtic design engraved on it with nice, but not bombastic, diamond in laid.  

I sent her a text "babe, im sorry for making you angry.  I promise everything will be ok when you return.  Have fun and your ass better not come back broke!"

A few days later I picked her up from the airport.  We took a cab a few blocks from her place and decided to walk the way.  She stopped me and said all of a sudden "i slept with someone".  I froze, my heart began to ache.  Tears instantly from my eyes.  I asked her why and she said "i dont know, but I need you to forgive me.  It was a mistake"

I pulled out the ring, showed her.  She gasped.  I threw it down the sewer and walked away.

I nearly took my life that night.   Good thing I had my friends around.

That was the worse night of my life and god I hope no one ever has to go through that.

So cheers to my fellow depressed.  Life does get better!  Bite the moment and keep looking forward to the bright days!

 

[AcidLameLTE]

Yay Moving Pictures was my first Rush album  

I dated a girl for about a year and we were extremely close, almost as if we were one.  Here thoughts were mine, and mine hers.  I felt I met my soul mate, the person who knows every single thing about me and I loved her like nothing else.

I would call her and just leave the phone there, her breathing alone soothed me.  She confided that she knew I was the one she will spend her life with.

Fast forward to earlier last year.  She and I had a fight because she wanted to take the next step, me proposing.  But we were only together for a year, I thought it was a bit reckless.  She then gave me the "if you truly love me you would" which was complete BS.  The fight escalated (our only real big fight ever, mind you).  She had to leave on a trip to Vegas for a week.  So I was home thinking about it, and I decided it was the right thing to do.  We were perfect for each other, we never fight big (except that one time) and we hate being apart, why prolong it?  So I dished out $6,000 and bought a gorgeous ring.  It had this Celtic design engraved on it with nice, but not bombastic, diamond in laid.  

I sent her a text "babe, im sorry for making you angry.  I promise everything will be ok when you return.  Have fun and your ass better not come back broke!"

A few days later I picked her up from the airport.  We took a cab a few blocks from her place and decided to walk the way.  She stopped me and said all of a sudden "i slept with someone".  I froze, my heart began to ache.  Tears instantly from my eyes.  I asked her why and she said "i dont know, but I need you to forgive me.  It was a mistake"

I pulled out the ring, showed her.  She gasped.  I threw it down the sewer and walked away.

I nearly took my life that night.   Good thing I had my friends around.

That was the worse night of my life and god I hope no one ever has to go through that.

So cheers to my fellow depressed.  Life does get better!  Bite the moment and keep looking forward to the bright days!

 

Wow dude. That's absolutely tragic (I hope that doesn't come off as me being sarcastic because I'm not).

[soundgarden]

I had dropped out of school and at work nothing mattered.  I nearly got fired.   Every night I would imagine in my head another man holding her, being inside her, kissing her, doing things only i was suppose to.  It took me months to fully recover, though I was never able to get into a relationship since her.  I had some flings but nothing manifested.  Till this day, I think of her often but it will be over my dead body that I will get back with that fucking whore.

[Silver Tears]

That must have been rough 

[Super Dude]

I think I'm becoming a needy boyfriend.

[sonatafanica]

Don't sweat it, just remember you have testes.

[Super Dude]

It's just like I get depressed when I'm not with her, and lately she hasn't been able to hang out with me as much, causing me to worry.

[Darkes7]

soundgarden, that sounds absolutely terrible, and my best wishes for you.