Author Topic: The Depressed/Angry Thread.  (Read 253524 times)

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Offline Train of Naught

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Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2485 on: February 26, 2024, 08:41:01 AM »
It's kinda nice that "this topic has not been posted in for at least 90 days."

It's been a brutal February.  I think I've been as low in my life as I've ever been. Living with depression sucks.  For me, there are many many different layers and nuances to what's triggered it, but there was a period of about 10 days where nothing mattered.  Literally nothing - there were times I didn't even care about or have the energy to eat.  I would never take my own life, but the thoughts are there - I was driving on the highway one day, passing a big transport truck and though "if he sideswiped me into the ditch, that wouldn't be so bad".  I don't know where I got the energy to put on a brave face and make it thru my work days.  The past few days have been better, but it's a pretty big hole to have to climb out of.  I'm still mostly faking my way thru things.

I miss me.
The old me.
The happy me.
The bright me.
The smiling me.
The laughing me.
The gone me.
         --Unknown


... but I'm trying to get back there.


Remember if you can go through all of that I bet soon enough you will find it in you to find the help you need, no one can help you enough if you don't want to help yourself, Remember if you decide to get help, the help will arrive in the ways you want it to arrive.. Much love to you, poor soul
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Offline Stadler

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Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2486 on: February 26, 2024, 09:50:26 AM »
I stumbled upon this last week.  I can't say I'm a huge BBT fan but this resonated with me on a level that is hard to put into words.  He describes exactly how I feel in my grief over the loss of my sister well on 2 years ago now.

I know many here are dealing with grief and loss.  Maybe it will help.  I hope it does....at least as much as anything could ever possibly help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Pn3y7S5FAw

Yeah, I can vouch for all of that.   I don't know if the percentages are right, and "sad" isn't really the right word, but I carry that melancholy as well.  I'm just now coming to grips with what Billy Bob said, and that is it will be with me from here on out. 

Offline OpenYourEyes311

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Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #2487 on: February 26, 2024, 01:11:55 PM »
I would never take my own life, but the thoughts are there.

I miss me.
The old me.
The happy me.
The bright me.
The smiling me.
The laughing me.
The gone me.
         --Unknown

Wow. I could have wrote that. Both the bolded and the poem. Hope you find some peace.

This is how I like to express my depression ... some say they suffer from it, I say I live with it.  For me, it's no difference than having any form of chronic physical illness - arthritis, or MS, or something like that.  Some days it's barely noticeable, some days it's tough, and others it's debilitating.  But it's always there.  I know the REALLY bad times won't last forever, but (for me) they don't just fall off. 

As I reflect on my life, I've always had it (at least as far back as my teens), I just didn't recognize it for what it was until my mid-30s, or suppressed it with various means (drugs in my teens; partying/alcohol in my early 20s; love/infatuation in my late 20s; parenthood in my early 30s).

Re: the bolded part here, that's how I feel as well. It's always there and it's been a very hard year getting out of it. It's crazy the things we do to suppress the bad feelings. I never used drugs or alcohol, but it's funny how this post triggered how I'm sort of using parenthood to do my very best at masking the depression. He makes every day worth living, even when it doesn't feel like it.
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