The Depressed/Angry Thread.

[TheCountOfNYC]

In a dark place right now. Currently debating admitting myself into a psychiatric hospital.

[Stadler]

In a dark place right now. Currently debating admitting myself into a psychiatric hospital.

I feel for you; please take care of yourself.   If you think it can bring you some help or peace, please take that step.  Talk to someone who can help you.

[wolfking]

In a dark place right now. Currently debating admitting myself into a psychiatric hospital.

Take care of yourself mate and do what you need.  Feel free to write any thoughts here, we are here to listen.

[TheCountOfNYC]

My life has just fallen apart over the past year, with a job that saps all of my energy so I can't enjoy my hobbies, a never-ending cycle of debt, and now me and my girlfriend are taking a break. I already suffer from depression and anxiety, and my mental illness always gets worse in the winter, and with all of this now I'm at a point where I'm genuinely afraid I won't make it to the spring without professional help.

[wolfking]

My life has just fallen apart over the past year, with a job that saps all of my energy so I can't enjoy my hobbies, a never-ending cycle of debt, and now me and my girlfriend are taking a break. I already suffer from depression and anxiety, and my mental illness always gets worse in the winter, and with all of this now I'm at a point where I'm genuinely afraid I won't make it to the spring without professional help.

I guess you've kind of answered your own question then.

Can you take leave from work in the first instance for a week or two to try and chill out a little?

[TAC]

Count, are your parents still around and do you have a good relationship with them? If so, I'd try and spend some time with them.

[TheCountOfNYC]

Count, are your parents still around and do you have a good relationship with them? If so, I'd try and spend some time with them.

My life has just fallen apart over the past year, with a job that saps all of my energy so I can't enjoy my hobbies, a never-ending cycle of debt, and now me and my girlfriend are taking a break. I already suffer from depression and anxiety, and my mental illness always gets worse in the winter, and with all of this now I'm at a point where I'm genuinely afraid I won't make it to the spring without professional help.

I guess you've kind of answered your own question then.

Can you take leave from work in the first instance for a week or two to try and chill out a little?

I can't really take a leave of absence from work, especially being on probation. There's a whole process I have to go through for any hospitalization as well. I'm waiting until after the holiday weekend to pursue this hospitalization so I don't ruin my family's holiday.

Count, are your parents still around and do you have a good relationship with them? If so, I'd try and spend some time with them.

I'm going to my dad's house for thanksgiving and I live with my mom. The first family member I'm gonna talk to though is my sister.

[TAC]

Count, are your parents still around and do you have a good relationship with them? If so, I'd try and spend some time with them.

I'm going to my dad's house for thanksgiving and I live with my mom. The first family member I'm gonna talk to though is my sister.

At least you can talk with your sister. Hopefully you can talk openly with at least one of your parents though.

[wolfking]

Count, are your parents still around and do you have a good relationship with them? If so, I'd try and spend some time with them.

My life has just fallen apart over the past year, with a job that saps all of my energy so I can't enjoy my hobbies, a never-ending cycle of debt, and now me and my girlfriend are taking a break. I already suffer from depression and anxiety, and my mental illness always gets worse in the winter, and with all of this now I'm at a point where I'm genuinely afraid I won't make it to the spring without professional help.

I guess you've kind of answered your own question then.

Can you take leave from work in the first instance for a week or two to try and chill out a little?

I can't really take a leave of absence from work, especially being on probation. There's a whole process I have to go through for any hospitalization as well. I'm waiting until after the holiday weekend to pursue this hospitalization so I don't ruin my family's holiday.

Count, are your parents still around and do you have a good relationship with them? If so, I'd try and spend some time with them.

I'm going to my dad's house for thanksgiving and I live with my mom. The first family member I'm gonna talk to though is my sister.

So this is a new job if you're on probation?  Not good if it's something new that's taking so much out of you.

[TheCountOfNYC]

Count, are your parents still around and do you have a good relationship with them? If so, I'd try and spend some time with them.

My life has just fallen apart over the past year, with a job that saps all of my energy so I can't enjoy my hobbies, a never-ending cycle of debt, and now me and my girlfriend are taking a break. I already suffer from depression and anxiety, and my mental illness always gets worse in the winter, and with all of this now I'm at a point where I'm genuinely afraid I won't make it to the spring without professional help.

I guess you've kind of answered your own question then.

Can you take leave from work in the first instance for a week or two to try and chill out a little?

I can't really take a leave of absence from work, especially being on probation. There's a whole process I have to go through for any hospitalization as well. I'm waiting until after the holiday weekend to pursue this hospitalization so I don't ruin my family's holiday.

Count, are your parents still around and do you have a good relationship with them? If so, I'd try and spend some time with them.

I'm going to my dad's house for thanksgiving and I live with my mom. The first family member I'm gonna talk to though is my sister.

So this is a new job if you're on probation?  Not good if it's something new that's taking so much out of you.

I'm a sanitation worker. It's a physically demanding job and as a newer person, my seniority is crap so I get bumped around and forced nights a lot.

[Cool Chris]

Whoever it is, sister, dad, mom, us... talk to someone, even if to just connect with another person for a short period. 

[TheCountOfNYC]

Today is hard. I talked to my family about the situation yesterday, and I'm with my dad and my sister today, but I still feel alone.

[wolfking]

Today is hard. I talked to my family about the situation yesterday, and I'm with my dad and my sister today, but I still feel alone.

I totally understand that with immediate family.  We're not that close and even when you chat with them, I too still feel somewhat distant.  You don't even get comfort talking with your mother?

[TheCountOfNYC]

Today is hard. I talked to my family about the situation yesterday, and I'm with my dad and my sister today, but I still feel alone.

I totally understand that with immediate family.  We're not that close and even when you chat with them, I too still feel somewhat distant.  You don't even get comfort talking with your mother?

I do, but I miss my girlfriend. Everything reminds me of her, so no matter how many people are around me that love me, all I feel is her absence.

[wolfking]

Today is hard. I talked to my family about the situation yesterday, and I'm with my dad and my sister today, but I still feel alone.

I totally understand that with immediate family.  We're not that close and even when you chat with them, I too still feel somewhat distant.  You don't even get comfort talking with your mother?

I do, but I miss my girlfriend. Everything reminds me of her, so no matter how many people are around me that love me, all I feel is her absence.

Yeah that's tough.  I'm guessing the break wasn't a mutual decision then?  Hopefully there's a chance for you guys to reconcile.

[TheCountOfNYC]

Today is hard. I talked to my family about the situation yesterday, and I'm with my dad and my sister today, but I still feel alone.

I totally understand that with immediate family.  We're not that close and even when you chat with them, I too still feel somewhat distant.  You don't even get comfort talking with your mother?

I do, but I miss my girlfriend. Everything reminds me of her, so no matter how many people are around me that love me, all I feel is her absence.

Yeah that's tough.  I'm guessing the break wasn't a mutual decision then?  Hopefully there's a chance for you guys to reconcile.

We haven't been seeing eye to eye for the last few months, but I would have preferred for us to work through our issues as a team. It's just very difficult right now.

[TAC]

Is there anything about your job that you can take pride in? Going in and kicking ass can be cyclical to your attitude. No matter what job you have, there must be something you can get out of it. Your will and effort are up to you.

And guess what? We've all been through breakups, even marriages. Yes, it's tough, but life goes on, and other doors will open, likely better ones.

[wolfking]

Is there anything about your job that you can take pride in? Going in and kicking ass can be cyclical to your attitude. No matter what job you have, there must be something you can get out of it. Your will and effort are up to you.

And guess what? We've all been through breakups, even marriages. Yes, it's tough, but life goes on, and other doors will open, likely better ones.

This is pretty much it in a nutshell.  While times are difficult and we all go through rough spots and sometimes things are overwhelming, the only one that can change is us.

Breakups are hard and sometimes you think you will never recover but while Tim is to the point, you can't control what the other person wants as much as it hurts.

I firmly believe now that everything we go through in life happens for a reason.  Finding that reason though can be tricky and always finding a positive is easier said than done.

[Glasser]

Count, I know when you feel this way nothing anyone says really helps but I will say this: This lonely, dark, unsafe place you're in right now is unbearable, like you're entire body and mind feels sick. I've been there more than once and the only person who will ultimately get you through this is you and you will. It feels like it will never end, but I swear, it will. You can't eat, sleep or function. The taste in your mouth is different, its scary and you just want to feel like yourself again but you don't believe you ever will, but in time you will. I'm so glad you vented this here and I empathize with you. Please ride this wave, it will end and you will be stronger when you do. Its ok to fall my brother. I'm from NY and I know I'm a stranger but I feel you. Please reach back if you need some coping mechanisms that got me through some unbearable times.

[KevShmev]

Sorry to hear this, Count. Be well and do not be afraid to reach out if you need someone with whom to chat.

[wolfking]

Count, I know when you feel this way nothing anyone says really helps but I will say this: This lonely, dark, unsafe place you're in right now is unbearable, like you're entire body and mind feels sick. I've been there more than once and the only person who will ultimately get you through this is you and you will. It feels like it will never end, but I swear, it will. You can't eat, sleep or function. The taste in your mouth is different, its scary and you just want to feel like yourself again but you don't believe you ever will, but in time you will. I'm so glad you vented this here and I empathize with you. Please ride this wave, it will end and you will be stronger when you do. Its ok to fall my brother. I'm from NY and I know I'm a stranger but I feel you. Please reach back if you need some coping mechanisms that got me through some unbearable times.

Nice post Tom.

[TheCountOfNYC]

Count, I know when you feel this way nothing anyone says really helps but I will say this: This lonely, dark, unsafe place you're in right now is unbearable, like you're entire body and mind feels sick. I've been there more than once and the only person who will ultimately get you through this is you and you will. It feels like it will never end, but I swear, it will. You can't eat, sleep or function. The taste in your mouth is different, its scary and you just want to feel like yourself again but you don't believe you ever will, but in time you will. I'm so glad you vented this here and I empathize with you. Please ride this wave, it will end and you will be stronger when you do. Its ok to fall my brother. I'm from NY and I know I'm a stranger but I feel you. Please reach back if you need some coping mechanisms that got me through some unbearable times.

I appreciate this. Thank you.

[carl320]

I haven't posted much in recent years (or much at all).  Even then, I have a first appointment with a therapist on Thursday.  It's been a rough year that I haven't really talked about online.  It's not really just the last year, as I've had issues that I've needed to try to work out that have been a big part of my life.  But in the the last year, things have happened that have made me realize how isolated I am.  I don't have high hopes, since it can be a process finding the right therapist, but I guess this is the first step.

[TAC]

Good luck, Brother.

[King Postwhore]

You have us to talk to. Please think of us when you need it the most.   

[TheCountOfNYC]

I haven't posted much in recent years (or much at all).  Even then, I have a first appointment with a therapist on Thursday.  It's been a rough year that I haven't really talked about online.  It's not really just the last year, as I've had issues that I've needed to try to work out that have been a big part of my life.  But in the the last year, things have happened that have made me realize how isolated I am.  I don't have high hopes, since it can be a process finding the right therapist, but I guess this is the first step.

Therapy can be so helpful when you find the right therapist. I hope it gets you to where you want to be.

[KevShmev]

I guess this is as good a place as any to put this.

As some of you know, my mom passed away this past February and this year has been fairly horrible as a result.  My dad is simply never going to be okay again.  I can see it on him every time I see him.  Honestly, it is depressing even going to the house and having any kind of family get-together as feels depressing to have it without Mom there.  Thanksgiving was actually fairly good because my cousin Maureen (who is in contention for the nicest person you could ever hope to meet) and her husband Tim had all of us over and the distraction of our cousins and close family members to talk to was a major plus, but the next month or so with the Christmas season and all is going to be awful.  And it's not like it will get any better after that, as life will go on and continue to just be awful for all of us. 

I shudder to think of how life will be if/when my dad passes, as I feel like he would just not have much fight in him if he got sick at all. 

[Glasser]

I guess this is as good a place as any to put this.

As some of you know, my mom passed away this past February and this year has been fairly horrible as a result.  My dad is simply never going to be okay again.  I can see it on him every time I see him.  Honestly, it is depressing even going to the house and having any kind of family get-together as feels depressing to have it without Mom there.  Thanksgiving was actually fairly good because my cousin Maureen (who is in contention for the nicest person you could ever hope to meet) and her husband Tim had all of us over and the distraction of our cousins and close family members to talk to was a major plus, but the next month or so with the Christmas season and all is going to be awful.  And it's not like it will get any better after that, as life will go on and continue to just be awful for all of us. 

I shudder to think of how life will be if/when my dad passes, as I feel like he would just not have much fight in him if he got sick at all.

I'm heartbroken for you kev. Its unbearable. I lost both my parents horrifically. My father age 70 in 2020 and my mom age 71 this past Mother's day. I feel like an orphan. Like my oxygen is cut off and it's getting harder with time. Its shattering. I haven't been the same since.

[KevShmev]

I guess this is as good a place as any to put this.

As some of you know, my mom passed away this past February and this year has been fairly horrible as a result.  My dad is simply never going to be okay again.  I can see it on him every time I see him.  Honestly, it is depressing even going to the house and having any kind of family get-together as feels depressing to have it without Mom there.  Thanksgiving was actually fairly good because my cousin Maureen (who is in contention for the nicest person you could ever hope to meet) and her husband Tim had all of us over and the distraction of our cousins and close family members to talk to was a major plus, but the next month or so with the Christmas season and all is going to be awful.  And it's not like it will get any better after that, as life will go on and continue to just be awful for all of us. 

I shudder to think of how life will be if/when my dad passes, as I feel like he would just not have much fight in him if he got sick at all.

I'm heartbroken for you kev. Its unbearable. I lost both my parents horrifically. My father age 70 in 2020 and my mom age 71 this past Mother's day. I feel like an orphan. Like my oxygen is cut off and it's getting harder with time. Its shattering. I haven't been the same since.

My heart breaks for you as well. That is just awful. 

[TAC]

I guess this is as good a place as any to put this.

As some of you know, my mom passed away this past February and this year has been fairly horrible as a result.  My dad is simply never going to be okay again.  I can see it on him every time I see him.  Honestly, it is depressing even going to the house and having any kind of family get-together as feels depressing to have it without Mom there.  Thanksgiving was actually fairly good because my cousin Maureen (who is in contention for the nicest person you could ever hope to meet) and her husband Tim had all of us over and the distraction of our cousins and close family members to talk to was a major plus, but the next month or so with the Christmas season and all is going to be awful.  And it's not like it will get any better after that, as life will go on and continue to just be awful for all of us. 

I shudder to think of how life will be if/when my dad passes, as I feel like he would just not have much fight in him if he got sick at all.

My wife is related to you?? 


Can't say I feel the same way about my mother as you do, but I do feel that strongly about my father. Just saw him for the first time in a year and a half yesterday, and well, he's definitely going first.

I definitely feel bad for your father. You've still got at half of your life ahead of you though. It'll get easier. It's still the first year.


@ Kev and Tom... Consider yourselves lucky. I have basically lived without my parents in my life for damn near 20 years.

[KevShmev]

I guess this is as good a place as any to put this.

As some of you know, my mom passed away this past February and this year has been fairly horrible as a result.  My dad is simply never going to be okay again.  I can see it on him every time I see him.  Honestly, it is depressing even going to the house and having any kind of family get-together as feels depressing to have it without Mom there.  Thanksgiving was actually fairly good because my cousin Maureen (who is in contention for the nicest person you could ever hope to meet) and her husband Tim had all of us over and the distraction of our cousins and close family members to talk to was a major plus, but the next month or so with the Christmas season and all is going to be awful.  And it's not like it will get any better after that, as life will go on and continue to just be awful for all of us. 

I shudder to think of how life will be if/when my dad passes, as I feel like he would just not have much fight in him if he got sick at all.

My wife is related to you?? 


Can't say I feel the same way about my mother as you do, but I do feel that strongly about my father. Just saw him for the first time in a year and a half yesterday, and well, he's definitely going first.

I definitely feel bad for your father. You've still got at half of your life ahead of you though. It'll get easier. It's still the first year.


@ Kev and Tom... Consider yourselves lucky. I have basically lived without my parents in my life for damn near 20 years.

Don't get me wrong, I have had the perspective that my brothers and I were lucky to have Mom for as many years as we did (50, 48 and 44 for the three of us at the time). I cannot imagine the people who lost one or both of their parents at a young age.  It is incomprehensible to me.

[TAC]

We lost a best friend of the family a few weeks ago, and his three daughters are my kids' ages. One of the girls is my oldest son's best friend. The youngest is a freshman in college. I definitely feel bad for them. 

[Glasser]

I guess this is as good a place as any to put this.

As some of you know, my mom passed away this past February and this year has been fairly horrible as a result.  My dad is simply never going to be okay again.  I can see it on him every time I see him.  Honestly, it is depressing even going to the house and having any kind of family get-together as feels depressing to have it without Mom there.  Thanksgiving was actually fairly good because my cousin Maureen (who is in contention for the nicest person you could ever hope to meet) and her husband Tim had all of us over and the distraction of our cousins and close family members to talk to was a major plus, but the next month or so with the Christmas season and all is going to be awful.  And it's not like it will get any better after that, as life will go on and continue to just be awful for all of us. 

I shudder to think of how life will be if/when my dad passes, as I feel like he would just not have much fight in him if he got sick at all.

My wife is related to you?? 


Can't say I feel the same way about my mother as you do, but I do feel that strongly about my father. Just saw him for the first time in a year and a half yesterday, and well, he's definitely going first.

I definitely feel bad for your father. You've still got at half of your life ahead of you though. It'll get easier. It's still the first year.


@ Kev and Tom... Consider yourselves lucky. I have basically lived without my parents in my life for damn near 20 years.

That's awful Tim. I'm blessed to have had the time I did but the pain I now feel is brutal. There was a LOT of collateral loss. My entire family was destroyed. I don't speak to my siblings, first cousins, pretty much everyone except my wife and kids. I just want to disappear.

[KevShmev]

We lost a best friend of the family a few weeks ago, and his three daughters are my kids' ages. One of the girls is my oldest son's best friend. The youngest is a freshman in college. I definitely feel bad for them.

Damn, that is terrible to hear.  Condolences for sure.  Life just sucks this year. 

[TAC]

I'm blessed to have had the time I did but the pain I now feel is brutal. There was a LOT of collateral loss. My entire family was destroyed. I don't speak to my siblings, first cousins, pretty much everyone except my wife and kids. I just want to disappear.

Was the collateral damage due to infighting, or more that your folks were the center of the family around who everyone gathered?