Author Topic: The Depressed/Angry Thread.  (Read 252519 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Kotowboy

  • Yes THAT Kotowboy.
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 28561
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1750 on: May 28, 2015, 09:23:44 AM »
I get emotional at everything at the moment.

I'm sorting things out though and my situation in Reading wasn't the nicest. I enjoyed my job but where I lived was very stressful.


What was where you left; Friends, significant other? Was the community and lifestyle a better fit for you there, vs. by your folks? Do you think moving closer to your parents is a positive, or a negative thing? Do you enjoy some level of stress, but not to the levels where you were before?

Or are things ultimately looking better now? Tears of course can go both ways.

1. I liked my job at Starbucks but I didn't have any "friends" that I saw regularly. Only colleagues.

2. I liked my flat but my neighbours were pretty noisy and that was pretty stressful.

3. I liked where I lived - It was a short walk to a huge park area.

4. I wasn't very far from my bro's house and often caught the train to his place to watch movies and stay over.


But now - I have my own transport - a new job that I like - i'm currently living with relatives & near the beach. I have actual friends nearby that I can go and visit.

I suppose some of the stress of moving and the heartbreak of losing another job are still lingering. But It could be much worse.

Offline MetalMike06

  • DT.net Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1549
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1751 on: May 31, 2015, 08:08:38 PM »
Been in pretty bad shape financially and emotionally lately.

I got a certification a couple years ago for a pretty neat field in aviation. I did great in the class, and felt really good about my abilities to do that job. Since then, however, I've still not been able to get a job in it, even though others in my class got jobs relatively quickly.

I got laid off from a job in December (didn't pay much but it was a foot in the door of the industry), and about a month ago I had to take a menial overnight job with no benefits nearby, just to keep a roof over my head (I was getting unemployment previously but it wasn't really enough to live on).

At this point, I'm literally sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag, in a furniture-less apartment, because I can't afford a bed, eat mostly eggs every day, and will be going into more debt going back to school this summer (something I tried to avoid for a long time, but obviously to stay competitive in the job hunt I need to finish).

I always had the attitude that "money isn't everything", but obviously my lack of it has been bogging down every other area of my life. For example, I can't date because what woman wants to date a guy that's broke and stocks shelves overnight?

On top of this, I have just about no friends where I live, and it's hard to make them since I also have social anxiety (example - a couple weekends ago I tried going to a party with my roommate, and after a few minutes standing around, had to go sit in the car because I was so scared; I didn't know anybody there).

My parents have not offered any real help, and I don't blame them; I'm in my late 20s now and have yet to really succeed at anything.

Life sucks pretty hard at the moment, but I still somehow manage to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

Offline Onno

  • Well, it's just entertainment, folks!
  • Posts: 4361
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1752 on: June 01, 2015, 02:36:10 AM »
That sucks man, good luck with that. But keep going and you will pull through. If you're going back to school this summer, that might just provide you the extra skills/certificates/qualifications to be able to get a job. Once you have a job, you can start sorting out the other things. Good luck!

Offline Kotowboy

  • Yes THAT Kotowboy.
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 28561
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1753 on: June 01, 2015, 08:35:35 AM »
You'd be surprised how much people are willing to help.

When I lost my Starbucks job I was inconsolable. I wrote an email to Dad apologising for being such a monumental fuck up and he said he'd help me out with whatever I needed.


Offline took_the_time11

  • Posts: 58
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1754 on: June 01, 2015, 02:07:37 PM »
I've been socially frustrated. I've always been more introverted and I embrace that. However I feel alienated trying to get involved with people. I know people like me I just get really anxious and lose confidence. Also, I'm in the same damn musical rut I've been in for a while. I've played guitar for 5 years. I just can't connect mentally. Also, I get really disorganized and forget things. These things are brought on by ADHD and the symptoms of that often lead to anxiety/depression. Fuck, today I really wanted to die inside.
I know the Aries Code & I enjoy the right to date.

Offline adace

  • Posts: 2267
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1755 on: June 02, 2015, 03:52:01 AM »
I've been socially frustrated. I've always been more introverted and I embrace that. However I feel alienated trying to get involved with people. I know people like me I just get really anxious and lose confidence.
Fellow social anxiety sufferer here. For me, just getting the motivation to apply for a job takes monumental effort because I'm absolutely terrified of interviews and get serious anxiety before I go to them. In general, I'm just really scared to meet new people because I'm constantly thinking about them judging me. I know it's totally irrational but the mind can be an extremely hard beast to tame. And the depression doesn't help matters either.


Offline Lucien

  • James 5:1-5
  • Posts: 4618
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1756 on: June 08, 2015, 02:33:02 PM »
Didn't know where else to put this. It's a fake Calvin and Hobbes strip, and holy shit is it depressing.

"Kind of a stupid game, isn't it?" - Calvin

Offline Kotowboy

  • Yes THAT Kotowboy.
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 28561
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1757 on: June 08, 2015, 04:11:13 PM »
I've been socially frustrated. I've always been more introverted and I embrace that. However I feel alienated trying to get involved with people. I know people like me I just get really anxious and lose confidence.
Fellow social anxiety sufferer here. For me, just getting the motivation to apply for a job takes monumental effort because I'm absolutely terrified of interviews and get serious anxiety before I go to them. In general, I'm just really scared to meet new people because I'm constantly thinking about them judging me. I know it's totally irrational but the mind can be an extremely hard beast to tame. And the depression doesn't help matters either.

Anyone else *hate* big family get togethers and knowing you'll be surrounded by people ALL DAY and they'll all want to know all about you - what you're doing now - what you've been doing recently and what you wanna do ?

Almost torture for me.





EDIT : And yes - any job interview where you have to GET INTO GROUPS AND / OR TALK ABOUT YOURSELF are a fucking nightmare.  >:(


Offline Cable

  • Posts: 1513
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1758 on: June 08, 2015, 09:38:54 PM »
^ I used to feel that way, and still do from time to time. My hang-ups were in the past were not being social at that time, and at other times feeling I have not accomplished much. So I can relate to that. I long for family get-togethers now; there will usually be awkward moments, and/or individuals. I also live away, so that makes them more sweet. But when putting the circle of life into it, and the positive supports many families provides, it would be hard to shun them. I get how they can be so-long-and-tedious though.

And big resounding "YES" about the group interviews. I think they are beneficial if it is the middle out of at least three interviews. The most beneficial is the group you will be working with is there.  But if it is with a group of candidates, that is awful. I know it helps weed out people, and does it efficiently. But if someone has issues speaking in front of, or with a group, that is an awful way to determine fit. More so if it is the first or last, determining the final pick. Many people warm up to group members and people overall, but it's unfair to think an extrovert would be a better fit than introvert.

Shoot, my job is basically ALL ABOUT being an extrovert, when I lean more introverted. Yet I do just fine.
---

Offline Metro

  • DTF Resident Sloth
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 3054
  • The Sloth Rules
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1759 on: June 19, 2015, 08:36:48 PM »
Just drove 8 hours back home only to find out my best friend has cancer.

He has a few weeks to a month to live.
Fuck everything.


Offline eric42434224

  • Posts: 4174
  • Gender: Male
  • Wilson
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1760 on: June 19, 2015, 08:39:33 PM »
Your best friend is a cat?
Oh shit, you're right!

rumborak

Rumborak to me 10/29

Offline Metro

  • DTF Resident Sloth
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 3054
  • The Sloth Rules
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1761 on: June 19, 2015, 08:45:26 PM »
Your best friend is a cat?

Yeah. I'm pathetic like that. Sue me.

He's been the only constant thing in my life for the past decade. Life was already shit recently this is just the cherry on top, I guess.

Offline eric42434224

  • Posts: 4174
  • Gender: Male
  • Wilson
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1762 on: June 19, 2015, 08:57:11 PM »
Your best friend is a cat?

Yeah. I'm pathetic like that. Sue me.

He's been the only constant thing in my life for the past decade. Life was already shit recently this is just the cherry on top, I guess.

I am sorry to hear that.  Both that you are in a place in your life where you do not have a close relationship with other people, and that the one relationship in life you value is ending.  I lost my beloved dog Stella last year and it still affects me.  I hope you not only heal from your loss, but that you can eventually develop relationships with other people.  Good luck through this difficult time.
Oh shit, you're right!

rumborak

Rumborak to me 10/29

Offline Kotowboy

  • Yes THAT Kotowboy.
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 28561
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1763 on: June 21, 2015, 12:35:14 PM »
:( :hug:

Offline Dr. DTVT

  • DTF's resident Mad Scientist
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 9482
  • Gender: Male
  • What's your favorite planet? Mine's the Sun!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1764 on: June 22, 2015, 05:43:44 PM »
I see my human friends once a week, tops.

I wake up with my dog, I hang out with him every day, and I go to sleep with him curled up at my feet.  So that probably makes him my best friend too.  Nothing wrong with that.  I'll be more upset when he passes than a lot of people I know, and I've been through that before.  Much love to you Metropolaris. Make the most of the rest of your time together.  :hug:
     

Offline Cable

  • Posts: 1513
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1765 on: June 26, 2015, 09:15:06 PM »
Fuck you the US Mail.  >:(  >:(  >:(  >:(  >:(

I have had an increasing amount of problems, but never as much at my current address. I bought a detached condo, which is great except for a few things. One of them being a shared mailbox strip (like an apartment). Also, the complex made addresses within one digit of each other. Which doesn't make a lot of sense, because the other streets don't start in the same range (thousands digits), nor is the city big yet where the development is.

So the US mail. I guess the close addresses throws them off. This is not only a courier issue, but a sorting issue. I have had at least 5 mis-delivered pieces of mail in my box, off by a digit or two. Secondly, I had an envelope that was destined to go to Florida come to Ohio because the return address digits were the same as mine.

I had my professional license upgrade delayed, due to untimely mis-delivery. As a result, I could have been passed over for my pending position, all thanks to the US Mail.

Further, I have had two checks NOT come to my house on time, with one needing to be reissued. And of the course the top of the mountain, two packages now delivered to the WRONG FUCKING ADDRESS. Also, someone else's package was delivered to my house, so that actually is three basically. And of course packages have a monetary value, with some not been insured, or some not through a big cooperation. I know it's probably a federal crime, but who can really trace a mis-delivered package when someone kept the contents? Further, this one indicated that it was delivered to a box. No way to track it, and no way to keep the fucker accountable. I had a mis-delivered iPod before that was my fault, and the person opened it and all. I'm sure they gave it a whirl, before thanks be to FedEx came to their door to take it back.

Lived here for many years one would think? Nope, a little less than 1.5 years.

I have sent a letter UPS before, and paid 10 more dollars because USPS is such a piece of shit. I'm really sorry that the internet destroyed most of their business, and I do not envy couriers, especially ones who walk up to every residence. However, my complex does not have one of those, and the person can sit at one location and dump mail in. And they know what they got into, so just do your fucking job and do it well. Some people really depend on stuff that gets sent through you. If I didn't have a total lack of faith in them, I would throw more shipping business their way.

These are little mistakes that I would have probably been fired for in a past career, doing rank & file. Instead, I have to just take it because it is USPS. I never dealt with a sorrier bunch of rank-and-file incompetence in my life, and my present gig has complete fools for rank-&-file staff.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2015, 09:21:30 PM by CableX »
---

Offline JayOctavarium

  • I used to be a whorejerk
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 10055
  • Gender: Male
  • But then I took a Hef to the knee...
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1766 on: June 27, 2015, 12:23:00 AM »
USPS sucks balls.


Wow will admit I am drunk... and I started going through old emails from my ex. It's fucking insane how in sync we were. How in lovve we were and all that shit.

:sadpanda:
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

-BlobVanDam on "Scarred"

Offline Kotowboy

  • Yes THAT Kotowboy.
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 28561
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1767 on: June 27, 2015, 06:07:24 PM »
LOLAVARIUM

Offline Kotowboy

  • Yes THAT Kotowboy.
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 28561
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1768 on: June 27, 2015, 06:08:20 PM »
Finally bought a new inner tube. A new tyre. Got a garage to fit it.

Put the back wheel back on.

Went to start her up.

Noticed the clutch lever was just hanging off.

FOR.

FUCKS.

SAKE.

Offline Chino

  • Be excellent to each other.
  • DT.net Veteran
  • ****
  • Posts: 25282
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1769 on: June 29, 2015, 07:31:18 AM »
Perhaps the universe is telling you something. Maybe you're destined to own your own motorcycle repair shop/used bike dealership and will become a super successful businessman.


Offline Kotowboy

  • Yes THAT Kotowboy.
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 28561
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1770 on: June 29, 2015, 03:32:34 PM »
It's ok - we got a replacement the day after.

Offline Sub Luna Vitrea

  • literally Emma Goldman
  • Posts: 166
  • Gender: Female
  • go team
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1771 on: September 12, 2015, 11:51:14 AM »
not sure why i'm posting this here, i haven't been here in months, and before that it was years.

my friend sophia committed suicide. she is the second friend of mine who has killed herself. in the last week i have talked two people out of suicide, and then yesterday i suddenly found out about her, and it was like what the fuck, i could have told her what i told those two people, and i can't now, i never will be able to tell her that it will be ok if she just waits it out, and i want to so bad, that's all i want to tell her is that it will be ok, and i never can.

i've been talking to an amazing guy on okcupid, but i told him today i couldn't go meet him at the park because i'm an emotional wreck over my friend, and he understood.

Offline Dr. DTVT

  • DTF's resident Mad Scientist
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 9482
  • Gender: Male
  • What's your favorite planet? Mine's the Sun!
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1772 on: September 12, 2015, 12:57:46 PM »
A friend's suicide is always a mindfuck, I'm sorry for your loss.  Don't shoulder any of the blame or play "What if..." games.  It's pointless and will just drag you down.
     

Offline Kotowboy

  • Yes THAT Kotowboy.
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 28561
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1773 on: September 12, 2015, 01:23:25 PM »
 :'( :-* :'( :-* :'( :-*

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Offline Sub Luna Vitrea

  • literally Emma Goldman
  • Posts: 166
  • Gender: Female
  • go team
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1774 on: September 12, 2015, 01:27:55 PM »
thank you. on an intellectual level i know not to blame myself or to play "what if?", i've been through this once before with someone else. on an emotional level it is tearing me up.

Offline Sub Luna Vitrea

  • literally Emma Goldman
  • Posts: 166
  • Gender: Female
  • go team
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1775 on: September 15, 2015, 10:18:26 AM »
I wrote myself a little note this morning:

"You are grieving. Your emotions and perceptions are less reliable than usual."

It has been somewhat helpful for me to keep from flipping out on people.

Offline Fiery Winds

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 2959
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1776 on: September 16, 2015, 06:49:28 PM »
I wrote myself a little note this morning:

"You are grieving. Your emotions and perceptions are less reliable than usual."

It has been somewhat helpful for me to keep from flipping out on people.


So sorry for your loss. Writing notes like that is a really good idea. I do something similar where I vocalize self-encouraging phrases (like on the drive in to work). A couple years ago I could go days without hearing my own voice, and this was really helpful in bringing my attention away from the mental chatter and focusing on the present moment. Over time, I noticed my enthusiasm and content grow more positive.


Hang in there, you're doing OK.  :tup

Offline Sub Luna Vitrea

  • literally Emma Goldman
  • Posts: 166
  • Gender: Female
  • go team
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1777 on: September 17, 2015, 03:32:07 PM »
I wrote myself a little note this morning:

"You are grieving. Your emotions and perceptions are less reliable than usual."

It has been somewhat helpful for me to keep from flipping out on people.


So sorry for your loss. Writing notes like that is a really good idea. I do something similar where I vocalize self-encouraging phrases (like on the drive in to work). A couple years ago I could go days without hearing my own voice, and this was really helpful in bringing my attention away from the mental chatter and focusing on the present moment. Over time, I noticed my enthusiasm and content grow more positive.


Hang in there, you're doing OK.  :tup

Thank you!

I saw my counselor last night and received the best news I've received in a long time. For most of my 20s (starting at age 21), I was diagnosed with a very severe and disabling mental illness, but it turns out that I don't have it. I was misdiagnosed. It had been gender dysphoria all along, and transitioning (I'm a trans woman) has cleared it all away.

Calvin6s

  • Guest
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1778 on: September 17, 2015, 10:21:31 PM »
thank you. on an intellectual level i know not to blame myself or to play "what if?", i've been through this once before with someone else. on an emotional level it is tearing me up.
We aren't supposed to play what if, but from my experience, it is human nature.  I'm sure it has more to do with hoping you discover something by going over it in your head so you might have a chance to do what you wished you were given the opportunity this time.  It isn't your burden, but you are still going to try to do everything you can to prevent it.

More importantly, do you feel vulnerable yourself right now?  Do you just need somebody to talk to that is far enough removed from your inner circle so you don't have to worry about creating new vulnerabilities?  There are far better people than me here for this, but if even just unloading some thoughts safely will give you some level of catharsis, feel free to PM.  Or at least check in on this thread each day so we know you are pulling through the worst of it.  We care.

Calvin6s

  • Guest
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1779 on: September 17, 2015, 10:26:25 PM »
Been in pretty bad shape financially and emotionally lately.
I'm hoping things have improved for you.  Can you give us an update?

Offline Sub Luna Vitrea

  • literally Emma Goldman
  • Posts: 166
  • Gender: Female
  • go team
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1780 on: September 19, 2015, 02:38:27 AM »
I'm OK... this is unrelated to my friend's suicide, but another friend told me something yesterday that has made me feel a lot less angry at the world. She told me she thought I was an empath, and so I looked up what an "empath" was, and I was very shocked to find out that not everyone was like that. At first this made me very sad, but now it has helped me be less frustrated, less angry with everyone for not doing something about all the pain that so many other people are in. They can't help it because they can't feel it, which makes me a lot less angry at them than I would be if they could feel it. I feel so much more at peace all of a sudden.

Offline Sub Luna Vitrea

  • literally Emma Goldman
  • Posts: 166
  • Gender: Female
  • go team
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1781 on: October 27, 2015, 07:54:54 AM »
I feel both extremely depressed and completely hopeless at the same time. I have tried everything, and everything has just been one false promise after another. Whether that false promise was drugs, or religion, or cults like AA, or psychiatry, it has never, ever delivered on its promise, and I have simply been taken advantage of while being indoctrinated with various forms of bullshit and, in some cases (like psychiatry), having my human rights taken away.

I feel beyond help at this point. There are some things I have never tried, like cognitive-behavioral therapy, but I am worried that this is just another cult or false promise. I have a hard time believing anyone anymore about anything. I don't want to see a therapist or anyone at all, really. Life is maddening.

Calvin6s

  • Guest
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1782 on: November 10, 2015, 10:00:52 PM »
Are things getting any better Sub Luna?

Offline Sub Luna Vitrea

  • literally Emma Goldman
  • Posts: 166
  • Gender: Female
  • go team
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1783 on: November 12, 2015, 04:42:48 AM »
Ah, yes! I'm sorry for leaving that in the thread and not coming back to it to update you. Things are slowly getting better, and I have not needed any medication thus far. Have been doing self-directed CBT out of a book by SMART Recovery.

Offline Cable

  • Posts: 1513
  • Gender: Male
Re: The Depressed/Angry Thread.
« Reply #1784 on: November 13, 2015, 08:14:48 PM »
^ CBT is an extremely standard therapy Sub Luna, so perfect choice.  ;D  It probably is the most common, as it kind of cuts right to the core quickly. A modality of treatment I use is a modified version of it, which I think is better. But regardless, CBT is solid as it built on a couple of things before it (Beck-Cognitive and Behavioral-Wolpe).
---