Author Topic: The Depressed/Angry Thread.  (Read 138182 times)

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Offline ReaperKK

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #175 on: February 09, 2010, 06:45:16 PM »
Yeah pretty much, I mean I told her to piss off a month after the breakup, it was hard, I had (still have) the engagement ring, she broke up with me in the process of me planning the proposal. She came back 4 months later asking to talk again and catch up. I should've known better but we caught up, she didn't mention the guy she dated even when I asked her, and I was newly single, I had a rebound relationship. So we hung out and it was great, we discussed what ended our relationship and she was very apologetic about everything, I also admitted my mistakes. I come to find out that she started dating the rebound guy again, and well this time I'm not going to hang around. It sucks, I thought we really had a great connection again.

Oh well, you live and learn I guess, time for some drinks tonight.

Offline Tuneman

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #176 on: February 10, 2010, 05:07:52 PM »
Anyone who is keeping this sort of thing inside of them would do well to consider passing the torch to another person(s), because only then will you get the help you need to help you bettter about yourself, your life and everything in it.

For me it was the complete opposite.

I was depressed and feeling very sorry for myself.  I had lost my job, my girlfriend had broken up with me, and I was going to have to move home.  It was very easy for me to be depressed.  However, I got better extremely quickly by simply realizing that it was an addiction.  A stupid habit.  Depression was just like smoking for me.  Something I was doing that was bad for my health, and I needed to kick it.  

Feeling better about myself and my life only came from within.  It did not come from any medication, speaking to a doctor, a girlfriend, a job, or anything like that.  Once I realized that happiness is almost like a skill, something you practice, then everything got better.  You interact better and you go after what you want.

Really what was needed was a jump start.  Now I feel much better.


Offline austin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #177 on: February 12, 2010, 12:27:04 PM »
Soooo me and my girlfriend broke up (this was a few weeks ago), it was a mutual thing since it just kinda wasn't working out, but apparently my best friend thought it was a good idea to ask her out a few days later! Now they're dating. Awesome amiright? :neverusethis:

Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #178 on: February 12, 2010, 12:29:22 PM »
Soooo me and my girlfriend broke up (this was a few weeks ago), it was a mutual thing since it just kinda wasn't working out, but apparently my best friend thought it was a good idea to ask her out a few days later! Now they're dating. Awesome amiright? :neverusethis:

Isn't this against some kind of "guy" code? I mean, it happened to me, and seems to happen a lot. Shouldn't this be punishable by a good beating or something?
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Offline ZBomber

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #179 on: February 12, 2010, 12:39:52 PM »
Soooo me and my girlfriend broke up (this was a few weeks ago), it was a mutual thing since it just kinda wasn't working out, but apparently my best friend thought it was a good idea to ask her out a few days later! Now they're dating. Awesome amiright? :neverusethis:

Isn't this against some kind of "guy" code? I mean, it happened to me, and seems to happen a lot. Shouldn't this be punishable by a good beating or something?

I think it depends how long the relationship lasted/how it ended.

I tried a new psychiatrist yesterday, that was fun (not). I think I'm done with that, its not helping me at all. And the lady clearly has no idea what shes doing.

Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #180 on: February 12, 2010, 12:41:56 PM »
Psychiatrists by and large have no real interest in you. They're MDs, they care about what's possibly going on inside of you, rarley about you yourself.

And yes, I say that after having seen a psychiatrist for 8 years that cared deeply about what I went through.
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Offline KevShmev

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #181 on: February 12, 2010, 12:56:31 PM »
Soooo me and my girlfriend broke up (this was a few weeks ago), it was a mutual thing since it just kinda wasn't working out, but apparently my best friend thought it was a good idea to ask her out a few days later! Now they're dating. Awesome amiright? :neverusethis:

If that is your best friend, you need a new one.  A friend does not do that, much less a supposed best friend. 

Offline austin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #182 on: February 12, 2010, 01:12:28 PM »
Soooo me and my girlfriend broke up (this was a few weeks ago), it was a mutual thing since it just kinda wasn't working out, but apparently my best friend thought it was a good idea to ask her out a few days later! Now they're dating. Awesome amiright? :neverusethis:

If that is your best friend, you need a new one.  A friend does not do that, much less a supposed best friend. 

Agreed. I had to pretend like I was alright with it and everything. I almost lost my shit on him when he told me

Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #183 on: February 12, 2010, 01:13:21 PM »
The obvious thing to do is to have sex with his mother and or younger sister. I don't care how ugly they are.
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Offline austin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #184 on: February 12, 2010, 01:15:57 PM »
no younger sister. 2 older sisters I think they're both married so I think that would end up worse for me than him. his dad died a while ago so having sex with his mother would be super effective except that she's upwards of 65.

Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #185 on: February 12, 2010, 01:16:27 PM »
Just do it dude. Rape his mother.
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Offline KevShmev

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #186 on: February 12, 2010, 01:17:05 PM »
Soooo me and my girlfriend broke up (this was a few weeks ago), it was a mutual thing since it just kinda wasn't working out, but apparently my best friend thought it was a good idea to ask her out a few days later! Now they're dating. Awesome amiright? :neverusethis:

If that is your best friend, you need a new one.  A friend does not do that, much less a supposed best friend.  

Agreed. I had to pretend like I was alright with it and everything. I almost lost my shit on him when he told me

You could just be a jackass and randomly ask him intimate questions about her.

"Did she finally get rid of that gagging problem, or was is just the size of me that caused that?"

"Did she take care of that foul "smell" yet?

Ya know, stuff like that.  Given your ages, that sounds about right.  :biggrin: :biggrin: :lol :lol

Offline austin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #187 on: February 12, 2010, 01:21:17 PM »
ahahaha good call  :rollin :rollin

Offline Tuneman

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #188 on: February 12, 2010, 02:34:17 PM »
...

Offline Tuneman

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #189 on: February 12, 2010, 02:37:28 PM »
Soooo me and my girlfriend broke up (this was a few weeks ago), it was a mutual thing since it just kinda wasn't working out, but apparently my best friend thought it was a good idea to ask her out a few days later! Now they're dating. Awesome amiright? :neverusethis:

If that is your best friend, you need a new one.  A friend does not do that, much less a supposed best friend.  

Agreed. I had to pretend like I was alright with it and everything. I almost lost my shit on him when he told me

You could just be a jackass and randomly ask him intimate questions about her.

"Did she finally get rid of that gagging problem, or was is just the size of me that caused that?"

"Did she take care of that foul "smell" yet?

Ya know, stuff like that.  Given your ages, that sounds about right.  :biggrin: :biggrin: :lol :lol

Tell him: "next time you are kissing her, think about how you used to blow loads in her mouth"

Offline Marvellous G

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #190 on: February 17, 2010, 11:04:04 AM »
I'm not so much depressed at the minute, but really really crushingly bored. Just finished my mocks which were incredibly tiring and stressful, and then had to endure two weeks of school before having a break, but now I have one I'm literally not doing anything with it, I'm just lazing around all day, and I've already wasted half of it. I'm also not even catching up on sleep because I seem to have instantly developed insomnia, so I'm basically a tired bored wreck all day. Literally all I've done constructive this half term is go for a run or two, and replay all the Metal Gear games. Fun.

Offline Shadow2222

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #191 on: February 17, 2010, 11:57:05 AM »
I'm really fucking depressed. I'm sick of life. I am gay, and someone thought it would be funny to tell the straight guy that I liked , well... that I liked him. I don't ever want to impose on anyone.

Of course, not only is it bad that this kid is a 15 year old freshmen (and I am 18), but he is now apparently telling everybody because he is freaked out. Yeah its imature, but I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing in his place. But this isn't just about that, but it did trigger me to think about everything else.

Most people don't care that I am gay, but I am sick of being "different" and "outcast." There are barely any gay guys in my local area that aren't the "Hey bitches!" super feminine gay guys. I am minimally feminine. I don't know why the hell I'm gay. I don't know if I'm suppressing the thought that I might have chosen it, or if I was born this way, or what.

Not only this, but these problems aren't that great when I compare them to some of your problems, and other people in the world. But I must have some mental issue (or I'm just too much of a bitch to admit it) that makes me think every little problem is a gigantic deal. I tell myself that other people have it much worse, and I only get more depressed.

Then I come on an internet message board to complain about my problems. I'm fucking crazy, and stupid, and don't know why I exist.

I've tried psychologists and therapists and guidance counselors, and going to them and talking about my problems doesn't help at all.

I don't know what I'm going to do, but this may be the last message I ever post here. I know no one will truly miss me, because its a damn message board for God's sake. I don't blame you. You are all good people though. Thanks for the ride. Goodbye DTF
« Last Edit: February 17, 2010, 12:09:41 PM by Shadow2222 »
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Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #192 on: February 17, 2010, 11:58:40 AM »
Why the hell are straight guys so freaked out by being hit on gays? Are we freaked out by being hit on women we're not attracted to? Jesus.



Also, dude, I know you're going through a rough time, but please dont do the whole "(imply suicide here) goodbye DTF" posts. Just talk to us and let us talk to you.
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Offline Shadow2222

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #193 on: February 17, 2010, 12:04:47 PM »
Yeah I get it, obviously I'm implying suicide. But I probably won't of course, cause I'm "just doing it for attention." I will accept any help anyone here can give me, but I just don't think it will work. This time, I'm trying to get the courage to do it, cause I'm sick of this. Not of being gay, or the problems it causes, but of my whole life and what I've done with it.

I was raped when I was 11 by a (at the time) 19 year old. I never told anyone, and its been too long to press charges. I don't want to even see his face anyways. Maybe that's why I'm gay? Am I gonna become part of the statistics that say children who are raped often become child rapers themselves? Am I a pedophile? Do I like this 15 year old just because he is 15? Will this go away, or will I like 15 year olds even when I get older. I don't like how tall or big 18 year olds/seniors are. Am I well on my way?

I'm also sick of being constantly depressed for no reason. Why am I depressed? There is usually no reason. That's just how I live my life. And the funny thing is, of course, in two or three days, I'll come back and be really embarrassed I posted in this thread and say "Sorry guys  :lol". Then two days later, I'll be ready to die again. Its an endless cycle, and the lows definitely outweigh the highs. I don't know what to do anymore.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2010, 12:14:54 PM by Shadow2222 »
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Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #194 on: February 17, 2010, 12:24:03 PM »
Wow.

Ok, in my opinion there's always a reason you're depressed, even if you don't know it. You even listed plenty of good reasons.

Secondly, liking a 15 year old doesn't make you a pedophile at any age. Plus you're 18, it's fine. Are you gay because you were raped? who knows, but you're gay, and accepting that and coming to terms with it is the most important thing. Is it your fault that it's hard to be a gay man? No, it's the fact that the world has some kind of grudge against you out of their own insecurity and you are left to deal with their pain. It's sad and horrible, but it's just how life goes at times. Depending on where you live, there is probably a LGBT center not too far from you, I would contact them if you could. Find people who you can relate to, talk to them. If you're 18, it seems highschool is just about over for you, good thing. I assure you, college will be MUCH easier than highschool was. You pretty much have to tough it out for a short time and things will get better.

Like I said, if you didn't want to read all of that, find an LGBT center or something similar near you and call them. And remember that college is much less anti-gay (by and large) than highschool.
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Offline Dark Master Of Sin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #195 on: February 19, 2010, 10:43:55 PM »
My entire world got fucking gutted tonight. I don't know how to think, feel, or be. God, I...I can't think straight. I'm so fucking confused. Life makes absolutely no sense right now, and, things just got...fucking weird. Very rarely do I not know how to put something in to words, but today, I have met that thing. All I want to do is fucking cry, but I can't even cry. God, this is the worst feeling I've ever had...period. I wish I knew, goddamnit, I wish I fucking knew. I'm, numb. The only thing I know, is that I don't know fucking anything.
gone

Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #196 on: February 19, 2010, 10:48:07 PM »
What happened?
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Offline Dark Master Of Sin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #197 on: February 19, 2010, 10:53:23 PM »
don't want too many people to see this.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2010, 08:31:15 AM by Dark Master Of Sin »
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Offline sonatafanica

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #198 on: February 19, 2010, 10:57:47 PM »
Let it out, kiddo.

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #199 on: February 19, 2010, 11:03:16 PM »
Hey man, hang in there.  You are experiencing very conflicting feelings right now.  On one hand, you are feeling protective of a family member you love, a very natural feeling.  On the other hand, the guilt and shame you have kept bottled up inside you over the past has just been released in an instant(I have a very similar childhood background, and I know very well the shame it builds on you).  These two emotions are very conflicting, and being as young as you are, it is probably very difficult two deal with both at the same time.  My primary advice is to be there for your cousin during her healing process.  She will need your support in ways you can't imagine in the coming months.  The guilt and shame you hold over your past isn't going anywhere, I know this well, for I still feel mine, 25 years after the fact.  You have a lifetime to deal with it, and it does get better over time, trust me.  Right now, channel your anger and frustration into helping your cousin, that in itself will hold it's own healing benefits for you.  I will be signing off in a while, and won't be back till tomorrow afternoon, but feel free, please, to PM me with any questions or concerns you have.  Once again, hang in there bud.
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Offline Phantasmatron

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #200 on: February 20, 2010, 12:37:59 AM »
I'm sorry, DMoS, I don't have any advice to help you deal with all that stuff.  It's not really an area I know much about.

But I would like to say that you're a cool poster, I like you, I feel terrible for you right now, and I really wish you the best in coming to terms with everything that's happened. 

hang in there bud

Offline ReaPsTA

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #201 on: February 20, 2010, 01:30:23 AM »
Why the hell are straight guys so freaked out by being hit on gays? Are we freaked out by being hit on women we're not attracted to? Jesus.

To answer the second question - yes. If a guy is hit on by a girl he's not attracted to, it makes him feel like girls he's not attracted to (for whatever reason), find him to be what they want and/or obtainable to them.

Which leads to the answer to the first question. There are some guys that no guy man is ever going to hit on. If a gay guy is hitting on you, you're not one of those guys. You don't want to be someone the gays find obtainable and/or what they want.

Soooo me and my girlfriend broke up (this was a few weeks ago), it was a mutual thing since it just kinda wasn't working out, but apparently my best friend thought it was a good idea to ask her out a few days later! Now they're dating. Awesome amiright? :neverusethis:

Just to reiterate, a best friend is never the rebound boyfriend of your ex-girlfriend.

icysk8ter - If you're thinking of telling your parents you're gay, STOP AND DO NOT DO IT. If that's not your problem, then shoot me a PM I guess.
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Offline ReaPsTA

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #202 on: February 20, 2010, 02:10:48 AM »
So a few months ago I meet this girl who seemed to take an intrest in me. And finally three weeks ago -- after not sleeping for a week -- I get the balls to ask her out and she said yes... and now she's pretty much ignored my existance since then.

I asked her if I did something wrong, she says no, says it's other stuff in her life, but doesn't really cheer up when we're around one another. So I have no fricking clue what I did. I thought her saying no would be the worst, but at least I would know where she stands then. This is just torture.

You ask her out.
She says yes.
She doesn't act on what she said and makes excuses for it.

Quote
I don't really know. She said she would go to a movie, I just had to give her a day. I've asked her a few times and she's always busy. It doesn't even have to be a "date" I just like spending time with her.

She continues to avoid spending time with you and continues making excuses for why she does so. Instead of telling you she isn't interested, she continues to lead you on.

Quote
I know that's what I should do, but it's so hard when I care about her as much as I do. It kills me becasue I feel like I'm making her sad and I'd stop asking in a second if she just told me to... but she hasn't, so that still kind of gives me some hope. We work together, so we're kind of forced to talk.

If you think you're making her sad, and you say you love her, why are you doing things that make her feel negatively emotionally?

Quote
I spent about four hours with her the night I asked her, she was fine then. She said yes, we hugged each good bye and she hasn't said much since. We've talked a few times since then, but only breifly when we were alone and she kept insisting that I hadn't done anything wrong. Her actions are speaking louder though. I'm gonna try a few more times to get her to talk, maybe it really is the other stuff she's worried about; which is part of the reason I want to take her out and get her mind off stuff. I just don't want to frak it up so bad that we can't go back to being friends.

 - Hugging each other goodbye is meaningless. Women today hug for whatever reason.

 - "Her actions are speaking louder though." Maybe the most important thing you typed.

 - You already tried a bunch of times. Maybe it's a dead end? And even if there really is other stuff she's worried about (which I find questionable), isn't what you're doing exacerbating the problem?

 - "I just don't want to frak it up so bad that we can't go back to being friends." Then you should have aborted.

Random thought that I don't have a good answer for - What happened to taking time to cultivate relationships? Guys seem to have this attitude that if they don't ask a girl they meet out ASAP then there's no chance. Have the ideas behind ladder theory really achieved this level of cultural osmosis? Because if that's the case - we're doomed.

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Yeah, I definately have to ask her questions to get her to talk, but she has a few times, which is good I guess. I actually am usually pretty quiet too, and I think that's part of why I like her, because she'll actully listen to me. I'm hoping that she's not taking it that all I do is complain though.

You're talking - but you're not the one in emotional control of the situation. Nothing you say phases her - you hang on her every word.

Quote
o I tell that girl I was talking about earlier in the thread on Monday "I wanna tell you something, come talk if you can." I left out the "I want to ask you out Friday night" part.

"Alright I'll try." So Monday nothing. Tuesday nothing.

I don't know if it's a good thing to try the same thing as before and expect a different result.

Quote
This morning I see her again, in class. She sits in front of me. So her friend beside her introduces her to this guy beside her. Not sure who he is. They smile at one another. Great, I think. He walks up to her after class, "So what are you doing now?" It was like a freaking dream.  "Sorry, gotta go to class," she says. OK, maybe she didn't like him. She walks down the hall to her friend (as I try to keep up with her) "So, I just met someone," she says and smiles. I want to slit my wrists at this point.

Three things jump to mind:

 - Her interest in the guy makes it seem like she isn't actually too distracted by other issues to have a boyfriend. We'll get back to this in a second though.

 - Did she really have to go to class? Why wouldn't she talk to the guy but she'd talk to her friend? Maybe I'm reading too much into this.

 - Why were you stalking her? If she's really your friend, isn't she interested in where you are at the moment?

Quote
Finally I catch up to her, "Are you gonna be busy at 3? Stop by and see me." "I'm doing something with my friend here, but I'll try." Alright, finally. Go to class, distracted by thinking about what I'm gonna say to her. Completely frak over a quiz in Physics.

Sitting, waiting for her, nothing. I text her: "Stop by, I wanna talk to you." She's got class in the one room at 3:30, I had to go to that building anyway, so I hang around. Nothing. She sends me a text: "My boyfriend came home from college, I'm not on campus. Sorry. E-mail me."

Okay, so basically, she isn't willing to tell you she simply has a boyfriend. And then, if I read what you posted just a couple paragraphs ago correctly - you made it sound like she was interested in another guy while she had a boyfriend. Why would you be interested in someone so fundamentally dishonest?

I don't know what it means, but why would she ask you specifically to email her? Maybe she doesn't want your text messages on her phone?

Quote
Well, HOLY FUCK! Lost has nothing on my life. Talk about disbelief. Now she's gotten a boyfriend in the two weeks that she's avoided me enough that I didn't have a chance to ask her out. Asked her about lunch tomorrow, I still want to talk to her, but I guess the Friday night movie just got cancelled.  I know I should just say, screw it, and move on, but just wow.

You know what you should do. It's not even like this girl is a good person who just isn't right for you or isn't able to be emotionally available to you in the right way. I'm not saying she's a bad person (I simply don't know if that's true or not), but she's being dishonest in very fundamental ways.

If you do decide to end what I think is a futile quest, do not, DO NOT try to get in some kind of amazing last words. Unlike TV shows, dramatic real life events often don't get great speeches to conclude them, and this is one of those times. Just say something like "You know what, I didn't know you had a boyfriend, so don't worry about trying to set up a date, I don't want to mess up your relationship. I'll see you around school and work." It's a clear boundary statement (not boyfriend and girlfriend), it's not over-dramatic, and it's just simply polite.
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Offline blackngold29

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #203 on: February 20, 2010, 07:57:28 AM »
Hey dude, thanks for all your responses. I e-mailed her a big long message and kind of let it all out. It got her attention and she said she just wanted to be friends. It's been two weeks and we haven't got back to where we were (didn't expect we would this quick) but she will talk to me again.

It's almost weird now because by telling her everything I feel like I put her in a bit of an awkward situation; I didn't really have many options at that point though to save our friendship and I'm glad it seemed to work (so far, *knock on wood*). I was gonna tell her yesterday that I understand that, but chickened out. I wanted to ask, "Did we ever have a chance?" if she were to say yes to that I guess I don't think I would feel as bad.

I'm honestly trying to let her go, but she's different than any other girl that I've liked before. I'm just going to continue to be as good of a friend as I can, keep the conversation on other things. If there's ever a chance for us I think that to become a good friend first is the way to do it and then hopefully she'll realize everything and really open up (that sounded really naughty didn't? I didn't mean it like that!)
ďImagine me doing pelvic thrusts on stage while playing in 25/8.Ē Ė Mont Campbell ||| Reigning DTF Fantasy Baseball Champion ||| The Ytse Times - Your daily source for DT news

Offline Dark Master Of Sin

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #204 on: February 20, 2010, 08:35:17 AM »
Let it out, kiddo.
I did, I felt better afterwards.

Hey man, hang in there.  You are experiencing very conflicting feelings right now.  On one hand, you are feeling protective of a family member you love, a very natural feeling.  On the other hand, the guilt and shame you have kept bottled up inside you over the past has just been released in an instant(I have a very similar childhood background, and I know very well the shame it builds on you).  These two emotions are very conflicting, and being as young as you are, it is probably very difficult two deal with both at the same time.  My primary advice is to be there for your cousin during her healing process.  She will need your support in ways you can't imagine in the coming months.  The guilt and shame you hold over your past isn't going anywhere, I know this well, for I still feel mine, 25 years after the fact.  You have a lifetime to deal with it, and it does get better over time, trust me.  Right now, channel your anger and frustration into helping your cousin, that in itself will hold it's own healing benefits for you.  I will be signing off in a while, and won't be back till tomorrow afternoon, but feel free, please, to PM me with any questions or concerns you have.  Once again, hang in there bud.
I wont bother you with asking for details, or anything. Yeah, that's pretty much what I was thinking, and I think, what would help the best is if we actually talked about it, to gain closure. Neither of us hate eachother, but, I don't know if she feels anything bad towards me because of it, or if it would help her too. BUT, I'm going to wait for a time when she is recovered.

I'm sorry, DMoS, I don't have any advice to help you deal with all that stuff.  It's not really an area I know much about.

But I would like to say that you're a cool poster, I like you, I feel terrible for you right now, and I really wish you the best in coming to terms with everything that's happened. 

hang in there bud
Cheered me up, haha. Thanks Phantasmatron. And, after 10 hours of sleep I feel more relaxed, and less confused. I think I'll be okay. And as for my course of action, I put that in the reply above. :p


Thank you all who read, I took it down because I really don't want that circulating too much, I posted it because none of my friends were awake or able to talk. I needed somewhere to vent. So to those who read it, shhh :p Thank you all.  :heart
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Offline blackngold29

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #205 on: February 20, 2010, 05:12:53 PM »
Having a bad day, just things that have been building up for a while are all getting to me now. The first one I suppose is from my job at my school newspaper. Iím the editor, which is cool being in charge and all, but the situation that I and the other people I work with inherited from last semester can only be described as a clusterfuck. It wasnít completely their fault because they had little experience and they were really the only ones that stepped up to do it. That being said, the quality of the paperówhen it came outówas pretty poor and even worse is that they had a horrible person in charge of the money.

Their advisor didnít do all that great a job keeping them in line. So this semester, we replaced the entire staff and have a new advisor. I had a bunch of new ideas that I wanted to try out, but because we were left with shambles weíve been pretty bogged down trying to clean up their mess instead of moving forward. Iím now stuck being the editor, web editor, taking care of the money, doing the layout and graphics, being the PR guy, not to mention writing articles and a blog for the website. Ideally thatís the work of four different people.

Now itís a fun job, but to do all that (itís been about 20-25 hours per week) on top of school is pretty tough. All the feedback that weíve gotten has been very positive. There hasnít been all that much feedback though, so Iím starting to wonder if all of this effort is really worth it. The other people on the staff are all great, they all write and do a good job. Iíve tried to figure out how I can give them some of the workload that I do, but I donít know if I trust that theyíll do as good a job as I do (that might sound like I have an ego, but itís based on what Iíve seen them do before) and I feel that as the editor I have an obligation to do most of the work.
Last semester if I was having a tough time with something, I would just put all my effort into my school work and it did pay off. I was actually proud of myself for the first time in a long time. This semester though, I just canít get into any of my classes. Itís all the opposite of my major.
Then thereís this whole mess with a girl (scroll up for more on that). I donít know what it is. I do everything I can to stop thinking about her, but I canít. Iíve pretty much accepted that itís not gonna happen with us, at least any time soon, but that hasnít made much of a difference.

I purposely limited my social life in high school, because I saw other people having relationship problems and I didnít figure anything serious was bound to happen in high school anyway; that there was a very good chance that it would amount to no more than a headache and a heartache, so I just completely avoided it. Now, when I finally think I found ďher,Ē thatís exactly what happens.

So I was trying to think of somebody who I could talk to (well, bitch-and-complain to), I realize that thereís nobody there. It kind of hit me this morning that Iíve never really had a ďbest friend.Ē I mean I can walk around school and thereís not a lack of people that I know, but nobody that I would get this personal with. I have a few good friends, but weíve never really talked about feelings and love or stuff like that. Ironically the one person who I thought that I could go to, who would actually listen, is aforementioned girl. (I think) Sheís the one that comes closest to grasping how much I do for the paper.

Back when my depression was worse I went to the psychiatrist and he tried to give me drugs, and I didnít really want them. So I tried to go and talk to him a few times, but I realized that I didnít need a doctor; he didnít give a frak about me. I needed a friend.

Iím not as bad as I used to be, though it does certainly come up every once in a whileónow for instance. I was supposed to go out to dinner with my family tonight, didnít really want to but I figured I would try it, not sure what happened. We got to the restaurant and I was like, Ďscrew this.í And I walked a half mile home instead of going in. During my walk I thought about most of what I just wrote and figured since I canít tell anyone, I might as well tell you guys.

Beyond all that I kind of feel like a jerk because I know I have it 100 times better than so many other people out there. Hell, Iím better off than people in this thread. But thanks for listening anyway.
ďImagine me doing pelvic thrusts on stage while playing in 25/8.Ē Ė Mont Campbell ||| Reigning DTF Fantasy Baseball Champion ||| The Ytse Times - Your daily source for DT news

Offline Tick

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #206 on: February 20, 2010, 08:57:10 PM »
I'm just too bummed to read this thread right now...
Yup. Tick is dead on.  She's not your type.  Move on.   Tick is Obi Wan Kenobi


Offline Adami

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #207 on: February 20, 2010, 09:01:00 PM »
I'm just too bummed to read this thread right now...

Would you like to talk about it?
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Offline blackngold29

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #208 on: February 20, 2010, 09:02:31 PM »
Wow, I didn't realize how long that post was. I didn't really expect anyone to read it, just good to type it all out sometimes. Not that I feel a hell of a lot better or anything, lol.
ďImagine me doing pelvic thrusts on stage while playing in 25/8.Ē Ė Mont Campbell ||| Reigning DTF Fantasy Baseball Champion ||| The Ytse Times - Your daily source for DT news

Offline Marvellous G

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Re: The Depressed Thread.
« Reply #209 on: February 21, 2010, 03:17:35 PM »
My problems pale in comparison to you guys', and I'm gonna get round to reading them tomorrow, but right now it's bedtime on the last night of holidays.  :sadpanda: