The Depressed/Angry Thread.

[Kotowboy]

Sorry to hear that 

My dad is the opposite - he really mellowed after my mum passed away and he got re-married and had another kid.

[Virtualman64]

I'm have Bi-Polar Disorder.So I can relate very well to bad mods,and depression.

[Kotowboy]

I thought I might be bi-polar but then I realised i'm never hyper - i'm just miserable

I thought it might explain how I can be really proud of something i'd been working on -

- but the next day just decide that it's fucking rubbish and delete it.


Maybe I have self-destructive tendencies instead of Bi-Polar.

[sueño]

I feel you on that, Kotowboy.

I'm gonna be taking some time off the internet -- period -- except what I need to do for work.  It takes a lot of time and lends itself to unnecessary convos.  That often results in misunderstandings and self-destructive situations, which sucks.     I've really enjoyed the interchange of music and film I learned here for my short stay (i'm out of here after today).  Thanks to all!

Keep up with your great music, though; you sound fantastic.  I'll see you around, take care! 

[Kotowboy]

I feel you on that, Kotowboy.

I'm gonna be taking some time off the internet -- period -- except what I need to do for work.  It takes a lot of time and lends itself to unnecessary convos.  That often results in misunderstandings and self-destructive situations, which sucks.     I've really enjoyed the interchange of music and film I learned here for my short stay (i'm out of here after today).  Thanks to all!

Keep up with your great music, though; you sound fantastic.  I'll see you around, take care! 

Toodle Pip old sport ! All the best ! 

[jonnybaxy]

*Deleted*

[Onno]

Ugggh I hate not being able to sleep... Makes me think... Thinking just gets me down.

On my mind tonight:

I feel my family just put up with me rather than like me,

I'm poor always due to no job, which means I can do less with my friends and I feel like I'm being pushed away because of it.

Education is shocking and makes me depressed

My last relationship left me feeling lonely and ended really badly

But I have a new girlfriend which makes me feel slightly less lonely

Hey man, you're just 17 (well, maybe I can't say shit 'cause I'm only 19... but I'll just do it anyway). Why don't you go looking for a job? Assuming you have the time for it regarding school etc. Education may be boring or hard or maybe you don't see the point, but there is a point man. No education means no job means no money means pretty much no life. If you make the right choices and do your best, you'll find something you like eventually, even if that means receiving education in a whole lotta field you're not interested in. You can't like everything, even if you're studying something you like. I study Earth Science, which pretty much contains a lot of different fields, so obviously I can't like everything. Even in the field I love (geology/geophysics) I don't like everything, not at all.

And you've got a new girlfriend? Stop thinking about your last relationship, and be happy with her 

[LCArenas]

I fucked up tremendously in an important university exam this week. Like, really, failed it completely and got a really low grade. I feel like a complete idiot, and fear that when my friends know about my grade they'll cast me out because I'll be the less intelligent of them. My parents don't know, and I feel ashamed of myself because there's no excuse to get a grade like that. My girlfriend broke up with me the same day, and I feel miserable.

For the last months I've been able to finally get my self-esteem together after years of insecurities, and this comes and fucks everything up. I live with the fear of dying alone. I know, I'm far too young to think about it, but having to work/study in an hospital doesn't help. You see old people abandoned and left on their own with their diseases too advanced to be cured, and you know they don't have much time left and nobody to hang on to or to even fucking visit them when they're slowly dying and yearning for at least somebody to make them company.

I'm afraid that if I keep fucking things up like I have been lately I'm going to end up like one of those people.

[PROGdrummer]

Is this also a heartbreak thread? Because the girl ive been madly in love with for over a year now left me a few days ago, and today is our fucking anniversary. she couldnt handle living four hours away from me anymore and she was so depressed about not being able to see me everyday so she dumped me. This is fucking bullshit, we knew it was hard and she left me before over it but came back TWICE already completely fucking regretting it and hating herself for giving up on what we had for a closer relationship. She fucked up this relationship so many times. I did nothing but treat her like a queen for over a year while everyone else spat on her like dirt and she knows that and she told me so hundreds of times.

 I have NOBODY to talk to about this, my closest friends dont know what to say they are just as shocked as i am. I cant communicate with her friends about this because i dont have their numbers. And we both knew it was going to be difficult until we graduated highschool and moved to a mutual place in the middle where we could finally just be together, but she PROMISED ME, EVERY SINGLE DAY,  that she would never give up on our relationship again, she promised every single day that she would prove to me that she was never going anywhere ever again and then she pulls this fucking shit and leaves me, 2 days before our anniversary because she decided nevermind this is too hard I cant keep my promise. I NEVER LOST FAITH, I NEVER LOST HOPE. AND SHE BROKE MY TRUST BEFORE AND SHE WON IT BACK BY BEING SO SINCERELY FAITHFUL AND WITH ME ALL SUMMER AND AS SOON AS SCHOOL STARTS UP AND SHE SEES COUPLES BEING ABLE TO HUG AND KISS IN THE HALLWAYS SHE GETS ALL DEPRESSED. we were so fucking close and she straight up tells me that she doest want me to come see her anymore and that she just wants to get over me and move on. Are u serious? This chick was so fucking extreme about our relationship that she named our future kids, chose our future pets, planned our wedding and  picked dozens of songs and albums from my ipod for wedding music. And now she just throws that all away and wants to forget all about it and move on. I cant believe this. I dont know what to do anymore.

This is bullshit, i was completely blindsided. Im hurt, angry, heartbroken. and the worst part is I DID ALL THE HARD WORK. She just sat at home and was depressed over me all day while i was the one trying to keep her with me, stressing over how im going to spend as much time with her as possible albeit the distance between us. I did everything and she still gives up. Since the day i met her ive been by her side while countless other came and went and never wanted anything to do with her ever again. I cant believe this. /rant someone please just, help? tell me something. anything. just ... what am i even supposed to do now.

[Kotowboy]

Sorry to read that. . . Hope you feel better soon.


At least you've had someone. I never have

One time I had a proper massive crush on someone for about a year but then I found out she was 20 and I was 32 at the time. **

That pretty much ended that for me

But it was the first time in my whole life that i'd ever felt that way about anyone . .

Oh well. C'est la Vie. . .



** I suppose that isn't such a massive issue. I just didn't see any point in pursuing. . My dad is 62 and my stepmum is 44 - so it's not uncommon in my own family.

[jonnybaxy]

.

[Onno]

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[Kotowboy]

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It's like you read my mind... 

[bout to crash]

Is this also a heartbreak thread? Because the girl ive been madly in love with for over a year now left me a few days ago, and today is our fucking anniversary. she couldnt handle living four hours away from me anymore and she was so depressed about not being able to see me everyday so she dumped me. This is fucking bullshit, we knew it was hard and she left me before over it but came back TWICE already completely fucking regretting it and hating herself for giving up on what we had for a closer relationship. She fucked up this relationship so many times. I did nothing but treat her like a queen for over a year while everyone else spat on her like dirt and she knows that and she told me so hundreds of times.

 I have NOBODY to talk to about this, my closest friends dont know what to say they are just as shocked as i am. I cant communicate with her friends about this because i dont have their numbers. And we both knew it was going to be difficult until we graduated highschool and moved to a mutual place in the middle where we could finally just be together, but she PROMISED ME, EVERY SINGLE DAY,  that she would never give up on our relationship again, she promised every single day that she would prove to me that she was never going anywhere ever again and then she pulls this fucking shit and leaves me, 2 days before our anniversary because she decided nevermind this is too hard I cant keep my promise. I NEVER LOST FAITH, I NEVER LOST HOPE. AND SHE BROKE MY TRUST BEFORE AND SHE WON IT BACK BY BEING SO SINCERELY FAITHFUL AND WITH ME ALL SUMMER AND AS SOON AS SCHOOL STARTS UP AND SHE SEES COUPLES BEING ABLE TO HUG AND KISS IN THE HALLWAYS SHE GETS ALL DEPRESSED. we were so fucking close and she straight up tells me that she doest want me to come see her anymore and that she just wants to get over me and move on. Are u serious? This chick was so fucking extreme about our relationship that she named our future kids, chose our future pets, planned our wedding and  picked dozens of songs and albums from my ipod for wedding music. And now she just throws that all away and wants to forget all about it and move on. I cant believe this. I dont know what to do anymore.

This is bullshit, i was completely blindsided. Im hurt, angry, heartbroken. and the worst part is I DID ALL THE HARD WORK. She just sat at home and was depressed over me all day while i was the one trying to keep her with me, stressing over how im going to spend as much time with her as possible albeit the distance between us. I did everything and she still gives up. Since the day i met her ive been by her side while countless other came and went and never wanted anything to do with her ever again. I cant believe this. /rant someone please just, help? tell me something. anything. just ... what am i even supposed to do now.

Okay, first of all I want to say I'm sorry you're hurting and acknowledge that this sucks. However... this may not be very helpful to you right now because you're really upset, but PEOPLE CAN'T MAKE PROMISES LIKE THAT! You can't promise that you won't give up or change your mind about a relationship, because there is NO way to predict where you are going to be at in the future. You can't promise someone you'll "never go anywhere again," especially when you've only been together a year. I'm not trying to minimize the relationship, but you're not being very realistic. Planning weddings in high school when you've only been together a year? I did that too, with my first "serious" boyfriend in college, and the relationship didn't even last a year and a half. We got so caught up in the idea of being in love but as it turned out we weren't actually that compatible. Again, I'm not trying to minimize your relationship or the hurt you're feeling, but you're acting like this girl completely betrayed you or lied to you by not "keeping her promise," but it was a completely unfair promise to expect someone to make in the first place. Being dumped fucking SUCKS, but god, there are so many more terrible ways she could have actually betrayed or hurt you. Trust me when I say you got off light. Long-distance relationships aren't for everyone, and it sounds like this gal may be one of those people who can't handle them well.

[Kotowboy]

Bleh...

[Dark Castle]

My cousin's 3 year old was diagnosed with cancer 
I remember just a couple of years ago holding her in my arms and thinking "Wow what a beautiful, rad little baby"
She's starting Chemo after Thanksgiving, and I'm really hoping that she kicks cancer butt.


I don't believe in prayer, but if some of you do pray, if you could say a few prayers for her, or keep her in your thoughts, it'd mean a lot.

[jingle.boy]

is literally what happened when I read this (and clearly not in a good way).     I'm not a man of faith, but will think positive thoughts for your cousin and family.

[sueño]

so, so sorry.      

[?]

That's not fair... I'm not a person with beliefs, either, but I hope she'll win the fight.

[bout to crash]

Amen... sorry she has to go through this

[Lucien]

My younger brother went through this, albeit at a later age.

"Don't worry, it will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

[Kotowboy]

So I went to the doc and he advised counselling and mild anti-depressants.

I chose the latter for now as I really hate talking about myself at the best of times.

had my first ever one today but the doc said they take a few weeks to be noticeable.

Either that or they're a placebo

The important thing is - I didn't feel unusual afterwards at any point, which was what was concerning me.

[King Postwhore]

DC, no words can express the feeling I have reading your post.  Every good though I have will be for her.

[Jarlaxle]

So I went to the doc and he advised counselling and mild anti-depressants.

I chose the latter for now as I really hate talking about myself at the best of times.

had my first ever one today but the doc said they take a few weeks to be noticeable.

Either that or they're a placebo

The important thing is - I didn't feel unusual afterwards at any point, which was what was concerning me.

Speaking from experience, Expect anywhere from 3-6 weeks before you notice a difference. After that, you will just realize one day that you feel great and have for a number of days.

[Kotowboy]

Hopefully.

[PROGdrummer]

*lol really dumb snip*

Okay, first of all I want to say I'm sorry you're hurting and acknowledge that this sucks. However... this may not be very helpful to you right now because you're really upset, but PEOPLE CAN'T MAKE PROMISES LIKE THAT! You can't promise that you won't give up or change your mind about a relationship, because there is NO way to predict where you are going to be at in the future. You can't promise someone you'll "never go anywhere again," especially when you've only been together a year. I'm not trying to minimize the relationship, but you're not being very realistic. Planning weddings in high school when you've only been together a year? I did that too, with my first "serious" boyfriend in college, and the relationship didn't even last a year and a half. We got so caught up in the idea of being in love but as it turned out we weren't actually that compatible. Again, I'm not trying to minimize your relationship or the hurt you're feeling, but you're acting like this girl completely betrayed you or lied to you by not "keeping her promise," but it was a completely unfair promise to expect someone to make in the first place. Being dumped fucking SUCKS, but god, there are so many more terrible ways she could have actually betrayed or hurt you. Trust me when I say you got off light. Long-distance relationships aren't for everyone, and it sounds like this gal may be one of those people who can't handle them well.

Lol wow i was dumb. I dont even care about that bitch anymore. Funny thing is, she pulled her crap again and tried to get me to take her back, AGAIN 
Im not making that mistake again. Shes got some real mental issues, thats for sure. I've already moved on with someone better. No matter how much she begs and calls me from a different number, my answer will always be no. Looking back at that "heartbroken" rant, Im laughing at how stupid I was. good times.

[WDADU]

Yeah, but now that you see how "stupid" you were (and you weren't, by the way; you were just upset and misguided), it means you've matured and you'll be wiser if something like this happens again. Best to ya! 

[Kotowboy]

So I went to the doc and he advised counselling and mild anti-depressants.

I chose the latter for now as I really hate talking about myself at the best of times.

had my first ever one today but the doc said they take a few weeks to be noticeable.

Either that or they're a placebo

The important thing is - I didn't feel unusual afterwards at any point, which was what was concerning me.

Speaking from experience, Expect anywhere from 3-6 weeks before you notice a difference. After that, you will just realize one day that you feel great and have for a number of days.

Update : I have now finished a course of anti-depressants and can report that I feel absolutely NO different.

Exactly the same / worse if anything.

So that's that. Also one-on-one counselling is a massive no-no for me.

I guess i'm just a miserable twat x

[Fiery Winds]

So I went to the doc and he advised counselling and mild anti-depressants.

I chose the latter for now as I really hate talking about myself at the best of times.

had my first ever one today but the doc said they take a few weeks to be noticeable.

Either that or they're a placebo

The important thing is - I didn't feel unusual afterwards at any point, which was what was concerning me.

Speaking from experience, Expect anywhere from 3-6 weeks before you notice a difference. After that, you will just realize one day that you feel great and have for a number of days.

Update : I have now finished a course of anti-depressants and can report that I feel absolutely NO different.

Exactly the same / worse if anything.

So that's that. Also one-on-one counselling is a massive no-no for me.

I guess i'm just a miserable twat x

Read this, it's not so much a book about depression as it is about how to communicate with yourself (thoughts) and others:

https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C

It combats your way of thinking from a very basic and logical level. The guy is a narcissist, but don't let that poison the fruit.   

[Cable]

I could tell the book was based in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) from the synopsis. After looking thru the sample, yeah the author mentions his original edition sparked interest in CBT (probably false, but I wasn't trained back then). So I see what you mean Fiery Winds.

Anyway, if you don't want to see a therapist Kotowboy, this book seems ok for self help due to its base in CBT, which is widespread in use for depression and anxiety to name a couple. It has also been adapted into other treatment types, one I ascribe to. So it's a pretty sound style of treatment.

[Onno]

Just came here to post the following.

SICK OF LYING SICK OF TRYING TIRED OF WAITING FOR FUCKING NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!

[MetalJunkie]

Yeah, that would be depressing.

[Akasha]

Yesterday I had to put my cat down.  That little girl was my baby. I'm laying here in bed and for once she isn't with me. She was 18 yrs old. I'm actually suprised I even slept a few hrs. She would sleep on me every night. The poor thing lost a pound in a few weeks. The last few days watching her we horrible. I know did the right thing but I hurt like hell.

[jingle.boy]

So sorry to hear that.  18 years!!!  Our little girl just turned 16.  We had to put a cat down after only having him for a year and a half back when our kids were born, and it was torture.  Cats can be a tremendous comfort. 

I can't imagine how sad you feel right now. 

[Akasha]

So sorry to hear that.  18 years!!!  Our little girl just turned 16.  We had to put a cat down after only having him for a year and a half back when our kids were born, and it was torture.  Cats can be a tremendous comfort. 

I can't imagine how sad you feel right now. 

Thanks it is a rough day. I'm not even going to work today.