So, for 13 years, it's been a tradition on my kids birthday that my parents (dad and stepmom), along with Mrs.jingle's parents come and celebrate with a very informal birthday party on their actual birth day. For the past number of years, our relationship with my father has been deteriorating, and don't even get me started on my step mom (whom we used to be pretty close with). I haven't talked with my dad in 5 weeks, or received any kind of email from him, so it wasn't much of a surprise yesterday when he called to talk to the kids. I answer the phone, and he sounds almost robotic, saying "I just called to wish the kids a happy birthday". No small talk, no 'how ya doin'. When he's talking to the kids, he asks my daughter if they got his letter that he mailed. Nope, not yet. He says he mailed it a week ago - A WEEK AGO!!! So, you decided you weren't coming last week!. (side note, it did come in the mail about 30 minutes after he called). Then, when talking to my son, my dad tells him a letter is on the way. My son says "you're not coming today!?!?". His response - "Well, I wasn't invited". My son says "you can still come". His response - "I don't think that's a good idea".
Unreal. For 12 years, there's never been an invite, just a quick discussion on what time to come over. If he really wanted to come, then I would've thought that he'd jump at the opportunity when my son 'invited' him. He could've actually talked to me when he called. But, this is his MO. This isn't the first time he's thrown a hissy-fit when he doesn't feel needed or get what he wants (the way he wants it). I could go on with the shit he's pulled with me and my brother. Not to mention my uncle (his brother) and that side of my family. He's a very controlling man, and when he can't control things, or get his way, he takes his toys and goes home. He was on a ski-trip in BC with my brother and his wife's family a few years ago, and abruptly up and announced he was going home (changed his flight, and expected the host to get up at 3am to take him on the 2 hour drive to the airport)... all because he didn't feel needed.
Well dad, bite me. I'm not feeding into your BS. I know you want me to call so you can start a confrontation, and chastise me for all the reasons this is my and Mrs.Jingle's fault. These are your issues. You are the only one that lost out yesterday, my kids understand what the situation is with you, they just don't know why ... and neither do I. The sad thing is, you've now finally completed the transformation into the person you despised most for the last 20 years - your own father. The circle is complete, but I sure as shit won't be joining that circle. Remember years ago when you told me "take me out to the woodshed if I ever become like that (like his father)"? Well, unfortunately, I've taken our relationship out to the woodshed. I will mourn the father and grandfather you once were, but will not invest any sadness, pain, or anger to the person that you are now. These are your crosses to bear, not mine.
tl;dr - Aging parents suck.
Topic: The Depressed/Angry Thread. (Read 255117 times)
