The Depressed/Angry Thread.

[Dr. DTVT]

And they are doing a disservice to them.  Getting an education, for most people, costs money.  Employers also like to ask for the moon when hiring so they can try to keep only the best from applying, and also as a negotiation ploy for offering a lower salary.

But we as Americans need to recalibrate what it means to be successful to a more sociometric scale.

[Jarlaxle]

And school just isn't for everyone. I have had almost all of my past teachers tell me I'm the smartest kid they ever taught, but I don't like school and all and don't try as hard as I should. I tried university for a couple years, and at the entry level classes I still got really good grades without trying, but the senior level classes I just didn't have the work ethic for it because I never had to work at it before. None of my past teachers understand how I had to drop out, but there's a big difference between being smart and being able to use your smarts effectively.

But now I just get to laugh at everyone who has told me I won't amount to anything without going to school because I have a great job working for a friend of mine where it looks like I will make 70-80 thousand this year, having fun and not having a huge student loan.

[Super Dude]

What kinda work are you doing?

[Jarlaxle]

I put vinyl siding up on new houses. Physically it is super easy, and I get paid by how much I get done, so I can work as hard as I want to one day, or take off early and go play golf or something.

[MajorMatt]

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[MajorMatt]

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[r0cken]

Nothing important, just really don't feel like working today. Feel like smashing the phone with a sledgehammer every time it rings.

[wkiml]

Doctor took me off the anxiety/depression meds...they were completely fucking with my chemical balance in my brain....was told it would take a few days until the shit is out of my system

As someone with a previous chemical dependancy issue, why do doctors prescribe more meds?  never made sense to me

Blood work came back better than ever, seems my liver is finally functioning normally after 30+ years of abuse

Doc wants me to lose 20 lbs in 12 weeks otherwise he recommends lap-band surgery....looks like it rabbit food for me the next 3 months

[Kotowboy]

I think everyone on here knows I 'm a moody old c--- 

2012 was just a horrible, horrible year.

2009 and 2004 were also nightmarish.

This kinda thing really drags you down over time. *

I get extremely bad winter depression and the worst shit always seems to happen around then too.

My bro reckons I should see a GP about getting some depression medication but I don't want to just take pills to feel false happiness.





* This Kinda thing meaning : Insomnia. Nightmares. Migraines. Tinnitus. Disappointment.Not being able to keep at a job for very long without feeling intense claustrophobia and anxiety. Having to put up with unbelievably inconsiderate housemates...Nobody on my Music dgree helping me out so I had to drop out etc etc etc...

[Rattlehead]

Job hunting sucks, I just finished my undergrad studies and I don't really know what to do with myself now, I've only been looking for work for about 3 weeks and I've found absolutely nothing but shitty cashier jobs that a 16 year old high school student is qualified for. I don't know if I want to do grad school because I'm so burned out from school but it seems like the only good option right now for me.

[Dr. DTVT]

If that's your attitude don't do grad school.  Grad school is like being with the most demanding g/f in the world who takes you for granted and on the slightest occasion shows her gratitude.  You have to be committed to your field.  At least that's how it is in the physical sciences.

[Kotowboy]

Sounds like the managers in my last job.

Absolute power tripping fucks.

Tell you to take initiative - but tell you off when you did ( which I did often ).

The sort of person that would ask you what you wanna do then MAKE you do the opposite.

There was one department where they knew nobody liked working - so if anyone did the slightest thing wrong - they'd get sent to

work in that department for a while.

I didn't stay there very long and I almost complained to head office because I knew some of my co-workers would back me up - but i'd moved house and city and I really just wanted to leave it behind tbh...

[Rattlehead]

If that's your attitude don't do grad school.  Grad school is like being with the most demanding g/f in the world who takes you for granted and on the slightest occasion shows her gratitude.  You have to be committed to your field.  At least that's how it is in the physical sciences.

I had that same attitude while I was getting my bachelor's and I managed to graduate magna cum laude. I do like my field a lot, I'm just tired of the monotonous school grind, but I feel like a few more unproductive weeks of job searching will change my attitude.

[MajorMatt]

Ok so the last couple days have been pretty bad. I don't feel like myself anymore, I just feel an overwhelming sense of despair and even simple things like buying something in a shop are difficult because as soon as I get to the counter I am shaking with anxiety for some reason. I feel as if my life is completely falling apart. I ended up missing a lot of uni last week because I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I don't find any joy in things I used to love, like playing guitar, programming and gaming. My sleeping is terrible, I can't fall asleep at night because my mind is racing and I usually wake up really early, then want to sleep the rest of the day. I went out to meet some friends last night and no matter how much they said it was good to see me again and no matter how much they complimented me I still felt like a piece of shit. This morning I woke up and actually felt like sobbing my eyes out for no reason. What the fuck is wrong with me. I hate to bitch and whine on here but I'm not sure what else to do tbh.

[Ħ]

You just gotta get moving, dude. I was exactly in that mindset my sophomore year of school. I ditched classes, stayed in bed, ate terribly, didn't exercise, didn't do anything. I know it's hard but you have to will yourself out of it. Shock the system. Go for a run if you like running. Take a cold shower. Or whatever works for you.

A busy man is a happy man. Surprisingly, business gives you peace of mind. At the end of a busy day, you'll hit your pillow and fall asleep easily. Make yourself busy.

Make a list of your responsibilities and carry them out. Tell yourself that if you don't accomplish anything else, you'll do whatever it takes to go to class. When your responsibilities are taken care of, recreation is so much more enjoyable.

[r0cken]

What the fuck is wrong with me. I hate to bitch and whine on here but I'm not sure what else to do tbh.

You need to see a doctor, if you haven't already. There's treatment for anxiety and depression.

[MajorMatt]

I've booked an appointment to see the doc tomorrow. Today was crazy, the complete opposite of the dread I'd been experiencing. After having a restless night with vivid dreams, I lept out of bed and was so full of energy. I felt like I could do anything, my mind was racing and I felt like I was going to explode with energy. After this huge buzz I feel like I am going to crash massively. I can almost feel it approaching and it scares me in case it is worse than the previous experiences.

The thing that's worrying me about seeing the doc tomorrow is remembering everything that is going on and I don't want to be wasting his time.

[Rattlehead]

Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist (not sure if that's what you mean by doctor)? From the feelings that you have described, it sounds like you may be suffering from bi-polar disorder. I don't mean to scare you or make you feel bad, but it is definitely important to talk to some kind of professional if you are really feeling like that. I hope things get better man and I'm sure they will, just try to keep your head up and stay positive. Believe me, I know it's easier said than done, I've gone through a depression myself in my teen years. Try to find a healthy hobby like exercising or socializing, it always helps to get out and be around others that you feel comfortable with. I can really relate to what you are going through though, I have anxiety as well, but it has gotten much better over the years because I eventually learned how to overcome it. I know it can be overwhelming at times, I used to get really bad stress headaches and weird sensations in my face when I was in a social situation that I perceived as uncomfortable. I used to smoke a lot of pot as well and that wasn't helping my situation at all.  Breathing techniques can be good temporary solutions for when you're experiencing bad anxiety, you can find them online. Keep us posted on how you're feeling man, like I said I know it's tough but I'm sure you can overcome it. 

[r0cken]

The thing that's worrying me about seeing the doc tomorrow is remembering everything that is going on and I don't want to be wasting his time.

Keeping a journal helps. Or just writing down the key issues for yourself.

[MajorMatt]

First of all, thanks for the responses guys, they were very encouraging

Just got back from the appointment with my GP. I'd barely opened my mouth and he immediately seemed to get it and asked me to fill out some questionnaires regarding the subject and has booking me in for some counseling of some sort. I'm supposed to receive a phone call from them at some point to finalize an appointment. I'm not really sure what I'll be in for with the appointment, I just hope they stay with non medicinal approaches. The last thing I want to happen is to have a load of drugs thrown at me, merely masking the problem.

[MetalMike06]

That's one thing that makes me apprehensive about "getting help". Depression meds sometimes appear to screw people up even more, at least people I know that take them.

[MajorMatt]

That's one thing that makes me apprehensive about "getting help". Depression meds sometimes appear to screw people up even more, at least people I know that take them.

Exactly. I have personal experience of this, hence why I'm glad they have not taken this approach.

[MajorMatt]

Edit: few to many beers haha

[snapple]

So, my wife is closer to graduating than me. Last year, before we got married, we realized a couple things.

1.) I was struggling in school and I needed to take a break (that I did on my own)
2.) If I were able to work full time, we could finish out her degree without taking a loan

So, I agreed to put my education on hold for her. It's just one year, and I don't really mind doing it. However, I've now been unemployed for 3 months. I can't even find a job for fast food places I have worked for before (though, in a different town). I'm so frustrated. We might be able to make it out of here (mid-Michigan) without having to take on any debt before we head back to our home town, but I just feel like I am letting her down in so many ways. I can't even describe it. Then, I feel like I am letting myself down. Like, if we knew this was going to be the case, why didn't I enroll in classes? I'm just really down.

[jingle.boy]

I dropped a post in the drunk thread, but had to put another (with less typographical errors) one in... and here is the most logical place.

Life right now just feels like the biggest kick in the nuts ever. 

Edit ... Boy, I was wrong there. Just she you think you're down, nope... There's another level to go to.

FML

[lonestar]

You know where to find me if you need to talk man.

[DebraKadabra]

 

s Chad

[MajorMatt]

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[lonestar]

If you need to talk to someone, do so. They are their for that reason. Don't stay alone with the thoughts, it's not a good place to be, I know. Hang in there man, and reach out and talk to someone please.

[The Stray Seed]

I seriously feel like I am loosing it. I don't even know who I am anymore. Also, I did something really silly tonight. But this is the wrong place for this. Very tempted to phone the Samaritans.

I don't know anything of you except what you've expressed by your recent posts in this thread, but allow me to say one thing. Something I was told a while ago, in my darkest days:

Do not falter. Be brave, for your own courage is what can save you from your own darkness. Do not falter. Gather all your strength, and stare into the mirror.

I cannot watch you in the eye while I say this, as he did. But it's something I wrote with my very soul on my fingertips.
Hang in.

[Dark Castle]

Really mad about my haircut. Fucking 4-5 inches cut off, and now what I've been wanting to do and could have done has been put back 3 months. And what makes me the angry about it is she said she was just blending it with the sides and then lopped off a huge chunk without asking, and she and another stylist went on abut how my Mohawk was too long and I just sat there and took it, all because I don't like confrontation, and they would of had to buzz it all off anyways. So now I'm fucking sitting here with this short as fuck Mohawk, and I hate it.

[snapple]

I've been unemployed for nearly 4 months. My right knee feels like it's attached with a couple strands of dental floss. I have pride in spades, but I feel like I have nothing for my self to be proud of.

[Akasha]

I have been away for awhile as I need to deal with some issues, but I'm back for a couple days. Last Friday March 1st my cousin found her son unresponsive. He was rushed to local hospital which then flew him out to another and then that hospital flew him to Children's in DC. He had the flu and it turned into pneumonia and he also had meningitis. He went septic as well, kidneys shut down, bleeding out, bleeding in the brain, and no blood getting to his legs. He just turned 16 om Feb 22nd. Just a week before he was a very healthy kid. His Mom had to make the decision on Sunday to turn off the machines. No mother should have to make that decision for their 16 yr old son. He died on March 3rd. Michelle is a single mother with 2 other sons with one severely autistic. She is struggling to pay for his funeral which is tomorrow

I was in the delivery room the day he was born and now I have to say goodbye. I never thought I would have to say goodbye to him. He was such an awesome kid helping out his Mom with his little bothers. At time Issac could be a handful and Josh helped her out with him. He never will get to grow up to be the great man we all know he was going to be.

I have shed some tears this past week, but today it has hit me like a ton of bricks.  I went and order the flowers for his viewing tonight and broke  down while doing that. I went by work to pick up the check for his funeral expenses they helped raise on Friday and broke down again.

Fuck all he had was the flu! Why did he have to die?

[snapple]

The flu kills thousands of people in the USA every year.

[bout to crash]

Not usually healthy teenagers though

Regardless, I am so sorry Akasha.