Cross Generational Families

[Skeever]

At a recent family BBQ, my Uncle mentioned that he was considering adding an addition on to his home so that my cousin and her fiancé could move in with them and start their own family with them.

My parents loved "The Waltons" growing up and always talked about doing something similar, and honestly, it horrified me. The idea of living with my folks for all eternity sounded like hell. But having now done the nuclear family thing, I can see how the whole concept is just so emotionally, financially, and physically draining that it's not even really possible for so many people these days. My cousin, for example, has $100,000 in student loans, and a job with an OK starter salary. Her fiancé teaches special needs. Unless they wanted to push their wedding and starting their own family back, say, 5 years? 10 years? This could possibly be the best path forward for them.

Anyway, after hearing that, I quickly heard of several similar stories from other friends. Pretty much every I know seems to know someone starting life on these terms. It got me wondering if the nuclear family isn't going to be a thing of the past; and soon, as opportunities dwindle and upward mobility comes to a grinding halt for millions, the "family home" doesn't become like the "family farm" handed down from one generation to the next.

[Cool Chris]

At a recent family BBQ, my Uncle mentioned that he was considering adding an addition on to his home so that my cousin and her fiancé could move in with them and start their own family with them.

My parents loved "The Waltons" growing up and always talked about doing something similar, and honestly, it horrified me. The idea of living with my folks for all eternity sounded like hell. But having now done the nuclear family thing, I can see how the whole concept is just so emotionally, financially, and physically draining that it's not even really possible for so many people these days. My cousin, for example, has $100,000* in student loans, and a job with an OK starter salary. Her fiancé teaches special needs. Unless they wanted to push their wedding and starting their own family back, say, 5 years? 10 years? This could possibly be the best path forward for them.

Anyway, after hearing that, I quickly heard of several similar stories from other friends. Pretty much every I know seems to know someone starting life on these terms. It got me wondering if the nuclear family isn't going to be a thing of the past; and soon, as opportunities dwindle and upward mobility comes to a grinding halt for millions, the "family home" doesn't become like the "family farm" handed down from one generation to the next.

* Don't you mean $90,000? 

I've thought about this with our family. My wife thinks our kids will go off to college, live in the dorms, graduate, and get a job and their own place, just like she did (as did I, to a less succesfuk degree). And I try to (kindly) remind her that might be a difficult path for kids to take 10 years from now.

I do not know what you mean about a family being "emotionally, financially, and physically draining." Of course everyone has their own challenges and financial situations. Buying a "starter home" is getting more and more difficult. But I don't know how living in a multi-generational home is going to be much less emotionally and/or physically draining.

[lordxizor]

The viability of this depends a ton on your relationship with your parents. I think it can, and will, work for many people. But for many they want the he'll out of their childhood home and barely looks back. I know a lot of couples who lived with one of their parents for a while. My wife and I did for a few months after we moved back to our home state after living away for a couple years. I think it would be hard to start a marriage in your parents home, but it can be done if the right boundaries are set. And I suspect it will become more common due to our financial realities right now.

[Stadler]

Me doing it with my parents is, unfortunately, past, but I have my step son living with us now (he's 28) as he goes through his divorce, and it's awesome.  We're planning to put another building on our property - a two or three bay garage with a second level studio/one bedroom.  We have always intended that my wife's dad move in with us, and this would give us some flexibility if we have to expand that.   I personally love it. 

[cramx3]

Personally, I couldn't do it, but I think the situation would work for many people.  Not even just financially.  I think there's a lot of people who legit like being close to their parents and bigger family.  Some people may want their parents around to help with the kids too.  Everyone's different and has their own situation.  This would not be ideal for me, but I can't rip the idea because I wouldn't like it.  There's plenty of people who choose this path for various reasons.