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General => General Music Discussion => Topic started by: lonestar on June 28, 2018, 11:18:43 PM
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Former Van Halen singer Sammy Hagar has discovered a theoretical, second way to rock, following years of “extensive, rockin’ research,” the noted physicist/musician confirmed earlier today.
“In addition to crankin’ up the Les Paul in your face, it would also be possible to rock if each note created were replaced by a one-dimensional string-like object and placed in a singular spacial plane,” said Hagar from his Red Rocker Research Facility. “Anywhere these planes intersect would create a line of rock extending infinitely in both directions, theoretically allowing one to rock ‘n’ roll all night, and another to party every day.”
The insular hard-rock science community was stunned by the discovery.
“This changes everything we currently understand about rock ‘n’ roll physics,” said Eugene Watson, a professor at MIT who also occasionally fills in on bass in his cousin’s band. “If what Dr. Hagar has suggested is true, 99.9 percent of the world around us actually consists of invisible ways to rock. Tapping into those sources could provide a limitless amount of rock to every man, woman and child in the world for all time!”
Despite the promising applications of Hagar’s discovery, the findings have not been fully accepted within the community.
“The ‘Second Way to Rock Theory’ is a liberal-media lie. For decades, musicians relied on tube or solid state amps to rock out,” said Marshall Amplification lead engineer Daniel Choch. “All of a sudden, we’re expected to believe there’s a more sustainable, environmentally friendly way to rock? Nice try, hippies.”
https://thehardtimes.net/music/sammy-hagar-discovers-theoretical-second-way-rock/ (https://thehardtimes.net/music/sammy-hagar-discovers-theoretical-second-way-rock/)
The Red Rocker does it again, blazing trails for the rest of rock music to follow. Discuss the far reaching ramifications of this...
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I hear the Germans are doing atmospheric studies on the possibility of hurricanes spawning rock as well.
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(https://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/173/576/Wat8.jpg?1315930535)
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(https://media.giphy.com/media/T2lUjGdArRxQs/giphy.gif)
(https://i.imgur.com/Qw1sfx8.gif)
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:lol the red rocker needs a new song
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This thread reminds me of why I love RJ and makes me wonder why we have never hung out.
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Dat photoshop in the article :lol
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This thread reminds me of why I love RJ and makes me wonder why we have never hung out.
:heart
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Did you see the side ad? "Bartender texts ex-girlfriend "U up?" at 3PM". That's funny.
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Dat photoshop in the article :lol
The look on his face. :lol