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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: MetalJunkie on March 24, 2017, 11:39:20 AM
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I came into work the other day and I saw this posted in the break room.
(https://i.imgur.com/2xIMUUv.jpg)
I asked around and no one seemed to have any idea about the person who left it. I asked one of my older co-workers who is in the know a lot (she's a gossip hound), and she said "I don't know. But caller her, get some fuckin' brownies!"
So I texted her. She didn't answer, but eventually she called me last night. The conversation went something like this:
"This is Tim."
"Hey this is [muffled] (assistant?) (assisted?) "Assisted" makes sense, if she's a customer I helped. I [muffled] brownies, was going to bring them up to your work. Do you work tomorrow?"
"No, actually I'm off. I could meet you somewhere? I have to go into town anyway."
"Okay, meet me at the high school at 1:30"
"Alright, sounds good."
So there it is. In less than in hour I'm meeting a stranger after finding a mysterious note. It's like I'm starting my own real-life RPG.
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"Okay, meet me at the high school at 1:30"
Uh oh. Park a block away with some binoculars to make sure it's not a trap.
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Should've asked for boob pics, obviously, but brownies are cool, too.
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Dude, I WOULD NOT advise taking a rocket-propelled grenade to a high school. Nothing good will come of this.
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Nice knowing you, Tim. RIP.
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Wasn't there an Emily a few years back? Obviously you'd know if it were the same gal, so I'm not suggesting that, but Emily isn't a particularly common name anymore.
Were it me, I'd find a way to causally slip into the conversation that you were born with only one, slightly malformed kidney. If her intention is to harvest you for parts I'd want to downplay their value from the onset.
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"Okay, meet me at the high school at 1:30"
Uh oh. Park a block away with some binoculars to make sure it's not a trap.
I think the bigger concern would be someone seeing me scoping out a high school with binoculars.
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Is there anything else in those brownies?
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(https://i1165.photobucket.com/albums/q591/Stadler111/Ackbar_zpsew0s9dkm.jpg)
I don't know, man; it sounded fun and interesting up until "meet me at the high school". I can't say I followed the "muffled" part, but still... I would worry that the Chris Hanson is going to be waiting with a camera crew.
Seems fishy, but unless you think "Emily" is one of your college buddies with Ashton Kutcher, you definitely do not want some unknown person coming to your office.
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Also, I watched the docs on the Jon Benet Ramsey so now I'm an expert... that note looks like it's written by two different people. Just saying.
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All I know is that if I'm Tim I don't reply to this thread for 17 days, just to fuck with us. If I do it's just to post "SOMEBODY CALL TH".
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All those years ago when I made this: I was a prophet.
(https://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i238/hefdaddy42/DTF/guitarded.jpg)
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Instantly heard Mcpoyle screaming: "YOU WILL CALL HER"!
After further reading, tread lightly.
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Brownies?? This is the sort of identity theft I can get behind!
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Yeah, I'm still not seeing the problem here. Free brownies at the very least, and if some girl named Emily likes you enough to stop by with free brownies, who knows what else she's willing to give?
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Yeah, I'm still not seeing the problem here. Free brownies at the very least, and if some girl named Emily likes you enough to stop by with free brownies, who knows what else she's willing to give?
Hopefully milk :o
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Hell if Orbert worked there he would've stolen the note right off your desk.
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Nice knowing you, Tim. RIP.
That's pretty much what my first thought was! :lol
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Hell if Orbert worked there he would've stolen the note right off your desk.
:lol
Reminds me in college when my roommate was getting mail around Valentine's Day with cards and letters. He was also getting packages from the same person with scorpion suckers and even sea salted crickets....It was very weird. To this day, he still has no clue who sent those to him
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Yeah, I'm still not seeing the problem here. Free brownies at the very least, and if some girl named Emily likes you enough to stop by with free brownies, who knows what else she's willing to give?
Hopefully milk :o
:lol
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Yeah, I'm still not seeing the problem here. Free brownies at the very least, and if some girl named Emily likes you enough to stop by with free brownies, who knows what else she's willing to give?
Hopefully milk :o
:lol
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Hell if Orbert worked there he would've stolen the note right off your desk.
:lol
Reminds me in college when my roommate was getting mail around Valentine's Day with cards and letters. He was also getting packages from the same person with scorpion suckers and even sea salted crickets....It was very weird. To this day, he still has no clue who sent those to him
Wow, I need to think of somebody to start doing that to. Easter's coming up. Seems like a reasonable day to be creepy and mischievous.
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This has bad made for tv movie written all over it.
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creepy or not creepy. Trap or no trap, there still seems to be the problem of it being at work and getting involved with someone at work usually gets messy. That's the biggest red flag I am feeling
Also, my ex fiance was named Emily and she raped my soul, so that doesn't help too much either.
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I predict a dark van pulling up next to you.
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With New Hampshire plates.
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With New Hampshire plates.
I'm so cool I own 2 Corollas. :lol
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(https://s2.quickmeme.com/img/54/548e4e8e20ff689bc803ae21cd42679ed288ab84970063ca85db586574fb35a7.jpg)
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(https://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss272/kingshmegland/IMG_20170304_212650_zps8ltmjji6.jpg) (https://s583.photobucket.com/user/kingshmegland/media/IMG_20170304_212650_zps8ltmjji6.jpg.html)
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:rollin
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"Okay, meet me at the high school at 1:30"
Uh oh. Park a block away with some binoculars to make sure it's not a trap.
I think the bigger concern would be someone seeing me scoping out a high school with binoculars.
Make sure to take some 'Mikes Hard Lemonade' also, goes well with brownies.
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It's been over 12 hours since this thread started. Is there a conclusion, hopefully good and positive, to this?
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Like El Barto said, it's way funnier if he doesn't respond for a week or so.
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OP will surely deliver, unless he is dead.
... I hope he isn't dead.
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.
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That's a nice car Podaar!
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Wrong thread, Reap.
I moved it to chat. :lol
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I noticed after I posted lol
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The Brownie Strangler strikes again!
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:o
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Also, I watched the docs on the Jon Benet Ramsey so now I'm an expert... that note looks like it's written by two different people. Just saying.
Good eyes, that is interesting when you notice it.
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Looking further at the note, for all we know, that writing probably looks more like Jim than Tim. Maybe, she's asking for Jim instead?
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Did you guys notice this in the corner?
(https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.215808251.3301/flat,800x800,075,f.u5.jpg)
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So, the Illuminati are using brownies as bate now? Those conniving bastards!
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this thread is gold. Assuming MJ isn't being instructed to rub lotion on itself.
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Also, I watched the docs on the Jon Benet Ramsey so now I'm an expert... that note looks like it's written by two different people. Just saying.
Good eyes, that is interesting when you notice it.
I think the 'if yes' and 'Emily' were added after the initial cursive for sure. Whether or not it was her just noticing she should clarify, hats the question.
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I had planned to fulfill El Barto's prophecy and wait exactly 17 days to post in this thread. However, developments and such...
So I went to the high school to meet her for brownies. Classes were getting out and kids were everywhere, so I wondered why the hell she would pick such a place to meet. I texted her that I had arrived and she said "ok, grabbing from fridge. I'm in the green shirt" Oh. She works at the school. Makes sense.
After a minute or so of perusing the crowd I saw a green-shirted girl carrying a plate.
Oh. Shit. I recognized her.
[FLASHBACK]
I was the "next up" rep, so I was waiting by the door. The next customers headed toward the store were an elderly woman and a dumpy little girl of about 18 I could only assume was her granddaughter. I helped her sign up for a GoPhone plan and sold her grandmother on DirecTV, so I signed her up for that as well. I like to build rapport with my customers as any good person/salesperson should do, so we had some small talk after I closed the sale and before they ultimately went on their way.
They came in for a separate issue a few weeks later, but they worked with another rep because I was busy when they arrived. The rep helped them with whatever their issue was, and walked them out the door. As he passed me, he said "her grandmother thinks you have eyes for her granddaughter."
whatthefuck.jpg
My buddy in line behind me laughs. "Tim, you should totally hit it."
"Dude, she looks like a troll!"
"So?"
"So I don't want to have to answer a riddle every time I cross a bridge with her!"
He laughed, I laughed, our day went on.
[END FLASHBACK]
It was the granddaughter from my previous interactions. I took the brownies, we said our hellos, made some small tank, and she left to go do her babysitting thing.
[LATER THAT NIGHT]
Text from her:
"Tim, I'm starting to lose faith in AT&T."
Of course, I waited until the next day when I'm on the clock to respond to her, and then I asked why. She explained her issue and I helped resolve it.
Then this:
(https://i.imgur.com/9iMa2WY.png)
So I let her know we would credit the account.
Then this:
(https://i.imgur.com/xY1sjyj.png)
...
:|
...
:censored
I TOOK BROWNIES FROM HER. SHE HAS THE HOTS FOR ME AND I TOOK BROWNIES FROM HER.
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Did you eat the brownies? Were they good?
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You better check that eating a troll's brownies isn't an agreement to marriage or something.
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So wait... is it the grandmother, or the dumpy grand-daughter?
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Stoner brownies....nice
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I'm totally confused here. You work at the AT&T store, but hang around high schools hoping to pick up dumpy 18-year-olds (which is creepy, but legal I think since she's 18) who bring you brownies? Or was it the trollish grandmother? The grandmother works at the school and has the hots for you, so she brought brownies? In that case, why mention the granddaughter at all? That's kinda creepy (but legal I think since she's 18). Unless it was just to mention that she's kinda dumpy-looking, which isn't very nice but if you were just including that detail as part of the story then I guess it's okay. Still confused tho.
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"So I don't want to have to answer a riddle every time I cross a bridge with her!"
The best I've read all week :lol
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I'm totally confused here. You work at the AT&T store, but hang around high schools hoping to pick up dumpy 18-year-olds (which is creepy, but legal I think since she's 18) who bring you brownies? Or was it the trollish grandmother? The grandmother works at the school and has the hots for you, so she brought brownies? In that case, why mention the granddaughter at all? That's kinda creepy (but legal I think since she's 18). Unless it was just to mention that she's kinda dumpy-looking, which isn't very nice but if you were just including that detail as part of the story then I guess it's okay. Still confused tho.
Nearly all this went through my head while reading.
Who was in the green smock, the grandmother or the dumpy granddaughter? I think we should be told.
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Yeah, we're having some problems with ambiguous pronouns in this story. We need clarity!
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Sorry. It was the granddaughter. Fixed the flashback for clarity. It was late when I wrote it, but now I see how the confusion came about.
Also, it's okay for me to call her dumpy-looking, because I'm dumpy-looking too.
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So what I'm gathering from this is you feel you've led her to believe you are interested in her by taking her brownies yet you really aren't interested....So you've found yourself in a conundrum? Is that it?
Also, they say a Cub Scout only becomes a Boy Scout once he eats his first Brownie. :eyebrows:
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I would strongly suggest not eating those brownies unless you are in a safe place with safe people to watch over you. Possibly have a doctor on hand.
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I would strongly suggest not eating those brownies unless you are in a safe place with safe people to watch over you. Possibly have a doctor on hand.
Agreed. And wait until after your next mandatory drug-test at work.
Alternatively, you could text her back and mention her grand-parents came in for some kind of assistance, and you were enough to share some of the brownies with them. Her reaction will reveal all you need to know.
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Maybe she did like they women in the 17th century did, and baked you goodies pressed with her butt and reproductive parts.
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:lol
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That's kinda gross, but also kinduv... interesting.
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The follow up to this did not disapoint :lol Thanks for sharing this story man
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Because I feel the need to back my claim: https://oxfordindex.oup.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095621122 (https://oxfordindex.oup.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095621122)
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Because I feel the need to back my claim: https://oxfordindex.oup.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095621122 (https://oxfordindex.oup.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095621122)
I have a sick sense of humor sometimes, but I just found that to be very bizarre...
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That's kinda gross, but also kinduv... interesting.
It peaked my interest lol.
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Before she quits her job and cashes in her 401k to buy a high end convection oven with which to bake you shit all day, just tell her the truth, that you're not interested. Something to the effect that your being intrigued by the note prompted you to agree to meet her, but that you normally don't do such things; and while very sweet and much appreciated, you're not available to date. Or something to that effect.
Trolls have feelings too.
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Before she quits her job and cashes in her 401k to buy a high end convection oven with which to bake you shit all day, just tell her the truth, that you're not interested. Something to the effect that your being intrigued by the note prompted you to agree to meet her, but that you normally don't do such things; and while very sweet and much appreciated, you're not available to date. Or something to that effect.
Trolls have feelings too.
This would be the kindest option, in my opinion.
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I'm never mean to anyone. Well, except for my friends. I'm not going to lead her on. It will probably be that we discontinue texting and that's that.
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Get Grandma's #. Old people need lovin too.
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He'd have to work to get those old magic juices flowing. She's probably drier than an nun's cunt.
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Yeah but he specifically mentioned that the girl is kinda dumpy. Maybe Grandma is the hot one.
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I'm still waiting on word of how good/bad the brownies were.
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I'm still waiting on word of how good/bad the brownies were.
It probably won't be for another 17 days.
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I'm confused, where does the cone play into all this?
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You do realize it's MJ's thread, not Chino's, right?
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You do realize it's MJ's thread, not Chino's, right?
Then who fell out of the balcony?
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And more importantly, who was phone?
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You do realize it's MJ's thread, not Chino's, right?
Thanks, I had no idea. :p
And more importantly, who was phone?
Dog was going to be phone, but then he didn't even fit.
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Gotcha. Hard to tell where sarcasm lies sometimes. :lol
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Yeah, the brownies were good. I meant to take a picture but I was too busy eating them.
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I'm confused, where does the cone play into all this?
I love you.
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It was brave as Hell for you to even show up. Can you imagine if you'd gone to the school and she was a Freshman? Yikes!
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It was brave as Hell for you to even show up. Can you imagine if you'd gone to the school and she was a Freshman? Yikes!
I knew she was of age because her phone was in her name.
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I'm never mean to anyone. Well, except for my friends. I'm not going to lead her on. It will probably be that we discontinue texting and that's that.
I think ATT would rather you two get together
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Get Grandma's #. Old people need lovin too.
GILF!!!! :yarr