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General => Archive => Topic started by: BlobVanDam on January 13, 2013, 07:02:27 AM
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Forget about movies about midgets and wizards, the hit movie of 2013 is going to be DTF: The Movie, a US remake of the Japanese movie "ドリーム·シアター·フォーラムは、後であなたを雌雄鑑別とあなたの女性パンティベーコン内部触手モンスターレイプ!", based on the best-selling Japanese erotic thriller novel of the same name.
The cast-
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/jim_caviezel.jpg)
Jim Caviezel stars as bosk1, a firm but fair lawyer by day, but by night he's not afraid to dish out some hard justice to keep the city safe from the trolls who dwell beneath the city.
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/michael_chiklis.png)
Michael Chiklis plays hefdaddy42, bosk's most trusted friend, known to his friends as simply "hef", or to his enemies as "God", because he decides who lives and who dies. Infamous for his short and concise one liners, and his secret weapon - his light-up glasses.
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/jonah_hill.jpg)
Jonah Hill as Nick. He's the youngest member of the team, but he's ready to prove himself, even if it means some (or many) failures along the way.
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/george_clooney.jpg)
George Clooney plays lonestar. Think Steve Seagal in Under Siege, except better in the kitchen, and better with a knife.
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/al_leong.jpg)
And of course Al Leong as Orbert (listed in the credits only as "asian man #1). He may or may not have any dialog, but he'll most definitely do something totally badass, such as arrange Christmas music for an odd ensemble, or start an intelligent conversation using only his MIND.
But alas I can't cast the entire movie by myself. Cast someone to play yourself, or to play someone else. And keep it fun, or I'll set Al Leong onto you while you sleep. You'll never hear him coming, you poor bastard.
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I am lauging out loud. Out loud, I tell you!
:lol
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I reviewed it on my blog. Check it out! :neverusethis:
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Paul Rudd as Zook: The sarcastic, miserable asshole.
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haha :lol
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I love all of this.
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I'm cool with it. :hat
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Almost fell out of my chair. :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
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I would ask that I would be animated by Terry Gilliam and voiced by Steven Wilson. Yeah, he's not an actor, but I have been mistaken for him both in voice and appearence (by Steve Hackett, in fact).
The animated character would be the wierd bastard who spouts inconsequential nonsense and generally confuses everyone.
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I would ask that I would be animated by Terry Gilliam and voiced by Steven Wilson. Yeah, he's not an actor, but I have been mistaken for him both in voice and appearence (by Steve Hackett, in fact).
Woah. So lemme get this straight,you were mistaken for Steven Wilson by Steve Hackett? My brain just exploded.
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:rollin
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Yeah, he didn't have his glasses on, and I was standing in about the second or third row in this tiny venue in Bath.
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Ivan is clearly more handsome than Steven Wilson.
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Featuring: Zydar Plays Zydar
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Featuring: Zydar Plays Zydar
That's cheating!
I was actually thinking of giving Robert Pattinson a bag of coke, and seeing what happens.
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/robert_pattinson.jpg)
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Holy crap this is fantastic
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Brilliant! :lol
Featuring: Zydar Plays Zydar
That's cheating!
I was actually thinking of giving Robert Pattinson a bag of coke, and seeing what happens.
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/robert_pattinson.jpg)
:clap:
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(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/christian_bale.jpg)
Christian Bale as DarkLord_Lalinc, a man suspected of being part of a large kidnapping operation, allegedly run by crime boss Zydar.
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/kurt_russell.jpg)
A young CGI Kurt Russell will play the part of Ravenheart, a wild haired and mysterious character.
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(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/christian_bale.jpg)
Christian Bale as DarkLord_Lalinc, a man suspected of being part of a large kidnapping operation, allegedly run by crime boss Zydar.
Whoa, he's hiding a Sith Lightsaber behind his back :omg:
But seriously, this is getting increasingly better. Can we cast Kevin Moore to play KevShmev?
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:clap: :hefdaddy :lol :rollin :lol :hefdaddy :clap:
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Featuring: Zydar Plays Zydar
That's cheating!
I was actually thinking of giving Robert Pattinson a bag of coke, and seeing what happens.
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/robert_pattinson.jpg)
:lol
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I got to Orbert's casting, and especially the name of the part, and now I can't stop laughing. :rollin
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If you look up Al Leong on IMDb (https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0502959/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1), half the roles he's played are "Chinese Thug" or "Asian Guy #2" and stuff like that. He's the guy you call when you need some nameless Asian badass. Or Genghis Khan in a Bill and Ted movie, but that's kinda the exception.
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...based on the best-selling Japanese erotic thriller novel of the same name.
I suspect alot of sexy-time will occur..... :hat
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:D
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Erotic...based on the best-selling Japanese erotic thriller novel of the same name.
I suspect alot of sexy-time will occur..... :hat
Oh yes, it will. The original Japanese title says it all, really.
Speaking of which, to avoid this cinematic masterpiece turning into a sausage-fest, I'll cast Mary Elizabeth Winstead as nightmare_cinema. She's not looking for love, but she'll find it in all the wrong places...... :zydarscouch:
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/mary_elizabeth_winstead.jpg)
If you look up Al Leong on IMDb (https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0502959/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1), half the roles he's played are "Chinese Thug" or "Asian Guy #2" and stuff like that. He's the guy you call when you need some nameless Asian badass. Or Genghis Khan in a Bill and Ted movie, but that's kinda the exception.
Well I upgraded him right to asian man #1! Only the geeks who will read the prequel comic will know that the character's name is actually Orbert.
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Yes no sausage-fest plz but were talking "Japanese sexy-time" that could get a bit kinky! Nevermind just realized it's the american version. :P
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This is one for the archives right here :clap:
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Ivan is clearly more handsome than Steven Wilson.
*flutters eyelashes and flicks the long, green wig*
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Ivan is clearly more handsome than Steven Wilson.
*flutters eyelashes and flicks the long, green wig*
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
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Amazing Blob!!! :hefdaddy
An archive no brainer!
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Best thread of 2013 so far.
:clap:
Also, Bruce Willis as jingle.boy, a jaded Canadian who finds his only solace in a glass of bourbon (or whatever Chad drinks, I'm not really sure) and submersion into his large music collection, which is his lifeline to a better time long past.
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AND HE'S ALWAYS IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME
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That goes without saying.
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3/10
Generic Hollywood trash.
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Ivan is clearly more handsome than Steven Wilson.
*flutters eyelashes and flicks the long, green wig*
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Can I pay you in cake to be my casting director?
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3/10
Generic Hollywood trash.
You know what, I'll make you a deal. I'll bump it up to a 4/10 if you cast Ellen Page to play me.
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I have a feeling that while this movie would be great, I would probably wait until it came out on Blu-ray/DVD to watch it. :lol
This thread is awesome!
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Yea that led me to the question: 3D of course but 24/48/60p or why not 72p is the question? I wanna see sexy-time crystal clear!
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I want Alice to do the audio commentary track.
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(https://i.imgur.com/JdpYT.gif)
I think that this describes how most of us feel about the thread.
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Epic thread. Blob, you're a genius.
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I want Alice to do the audio commentary track.
Does this mean I don't get to be portrayed in the movie? :(
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I want Alice to do the audio commentary track.
Does this mean I don't get to be portrayed in the movie? :(
Of course, you will be portrayed by Björk.
(https://www.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2012/11/bjork-surgery.gif)
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I think Blob should play himself, but we would never actually see him... he'd be like the anonymous informant in a movie, always hidden by the shadows or well placed obstructions.
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I want Alice to do the audio commentary track.
Does this mean I don't get to be portrayed in the movie? :(
Of course, you will be portrayed by Björk.
(https://www.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2012/11/bjork-surgery.gif)
This makes me happy.
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fantastic thread so far.
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black_floyd
(https://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120302034716/disney/images/1/15/Zach_Galifianakis.jpg)
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Can I be a tree? :o
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black_floyd
(https://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120302034716/disney/images/1/15/Zach_Galifianakis.jpg)
Someone shop an opeth hat on there and you're golden
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Ivan is clearly more handsome than Steven Wilson.
*flutters eyelashes and flicks the long, green wig*
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Can I pay you in cake to be my casting director?
Can that really happen? I'm pretty sure I could live off cake.
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This thread is fucking gold. If nobody else has a better idea for me, I'd like to be played by Sasha Grey, and my alter ego Admiral Jackbar played by the ghost of Peter Sellers.
(https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hw2xDAHr4Xc/Tx2XpzrBjaI/AAAAAAAAKF8/6IupravZaao/s1600/sasha_grey+%25282%2529.jpg)
(https://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/whats-new-pussycat-peter-sellers-1965-everett.jpg)
Eh?? :caffeine:
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:rollin :rollin :rollin
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Oh my fuck. The Sasha Gray similarities. They cannot be unseen. Wow what.
BRB (psionlyknowaboutsashagrayfromentourageidon'teverwatchpornitstruefuckyou)
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This thread is beautiful. I love that I knew who each of the actors were playing based solely on the pictures. :clap:
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Someone think we can get Eddie Griffin to put his Undercover Brother costume back on to play me?
(https://torontoist.com/attachments/toronto_davidf/2008_02_26_dundas.jpg)
:metal :metal
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BRB (psionlyknowaboutsashagrayfromentourageidon'teverwatchpornitstruefuckyou)
If that's the truth, you're missing out.
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And of course Johnny Depp as The Texas Pirate! A rum-downing, harlot-baiting curmudgeon; perpetually rowing to page 100.
(https://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g98/ddtonfire/JDCS_zpsaf10b11a.jpg)
:yarr
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The pic isn't working, but that's an amazing idea :yarr :metal
Oh my fuck. The Sasha Gray similarities. They cannot be unseen.
And you haven't even seen my...
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3/10
Generic Hollywood trash.
You know what, I'll make you a deal. I'll bump it up to a 4/10 if you cast Ellen Page to play me.
Offer's still good.
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OMFG this thread :lol :rollin :lol
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3/10
Generic Hollywood trash.
You know what, I'll make you a deal. I'll bump it up to a 4/10 if you cast Ellen Page to play me.
Offer's still good.
Fuck it. I'm casting Nicolas Cage to play you. And he's going to spend the whole movie trying to decipher the one liners that come from his pet hamster, which talks to him psychically and only he can hear it. Also, he's the janitor.
lat/10
Yea that led me to the question: 3D of course but 24/48/60p or why not 72p is the question? I wanna see sexy-time crystal clear!
This movie will only be available in 24p 2D. Zydar looks unnatural at high frame rates, and his substances don't translate well to 3D. In fact, all of Zydar's scenes will also be in black and white slow motion, because then it will look artsy instead of seedy and offensive.
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(https://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/20200000/DAN-daniel-radcliffe-20272794-1333-2000.jpg)
Daniel Radcliffe as icysk8r, an up-and-coming magician out to prove himself to the world--or perhaps take it over. With just enough personal issues to make him an appropriately flawed but sympathetic character, icysk8r will clash repeatedly with the society and leadership of DTF--always riding the line between hero and villain. On which side will he ultimately fall?
[edit]The picture's not showing up for me anymore. If it's gone, that sucks, because I managed to find a picture of Daniel Radcliffe with almost emo-ish hair across one of his eyes. It was in the same vein as the hair icy used to have back in the day. But whatever, at least everybody knows what Harry Potter looks like...just imagine him with emo hair.
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:clap:
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HOLYSHITTHISTHREAD
:heart
:rollin
:JayOctavarium:
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:rollin :rollin :rollin
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LMFAO @ this thread....(I'll be content with a cameo role, or an extra,or just a unanymous passer-by) :hefdaddy
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Yea that led me to the question: 3D of course but 24/48/60p or why not 72p is the question? I wanna see sexy-time crystal clear!
This movie will only be available in 24p 2D. Zydar looks unnatural at high frame rates, and his substances don't translate well to 3D. In fact, all of Zydar's scenes will also be in black and white slow motion, because then it will look artsy instead of seedy and offensive.
:rollin
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:zydar:
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(https://cdn.mos.musicradar.com/images/artist-news/steven-wilson/steven-wilson-press-shot-640-80.jpg)
Introducing, Steven Wilson as Sigz
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kingshmegland will be played by Bob Hoskins.
(https://lh6.ggpht.com/_fZ7TvbeRp2A/SZ2ikfgXW6I/AAAAAAAACc8/QdDOXGYSMs0/bob%2520hoskins%2520as%2520smee.jpg)
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kingshmegland will be played by Bob Hoskins.
(https://lh6.ggpht.com/_fZ7TvbeRp2A/SZ2ikfgXW6I/AAAAAAAACc8/QdDOXGYSMs0/bob%2520hoskins%2520as%2520smee.jpg)
:lol Or Dom Deluise! :lol
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:jets: Or Dom Deluise! :jets:
Oh man, that would have worked better! :jets:
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:jets: Or Dom Deluise! :jets:
Oh man, that would have worked better! :jets:
and don't discount an audition for Paul Prudhomme!
(https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PLmw5IX3x1E/Tb8C9B_lYUI/AAAAAAAAArI/Hzo8PYRBP0E/s1600/paul-prudhomme.jpg)
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:rollin Awesome thread. :tup
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Tick played by Shawn Astin
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:rollin Awesome thread. :tup
You will be played by the Nightwish drumming dude.
(https://static.rateyourmusic.com/lk/f/a/c9b172441670cb200a270657d5e9dcab/3938550.jpg)
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I think you guys should consider casting Richard Madden for DarkLoL, instead of the worn out Bale:
(https://i2.listal.com/image/3784427/600full-richard-madden.jpg)
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I don't know man, seems like a no brainer casting choice to me!
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/christian_bale.jpg)
(https://sphotos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/63713_10152396856975302_1588558574_n.jpg)
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(https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/forumavatars/avatar_7076_1354406123.gif) casted as: (https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/forumavatars/avatar_7076_1354406123.gif)
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It's just the precence of female captives to enhance the resemblance. Bale is no closer to LoL than Madden is :tup
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It's just the precence of female captives to enhance the resemblance. Bale is no closer to LoL than Madden is :tup
Are you kidding me? Just focus on the faces, and there's a much stronger resemblance! I don't see much resemblance at all with other dude.
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How did I know I was gonna get the Bruce Willis treatment? :lol I'll gladly take it. And for reference, scotch is my go-to.
Starring in the role of BlobVanDam, Joaquin Phoenix reprises his 'I-don't-give-a-fuck-that's-how-awesome-I-am' shtick. 3-D glasses and all.
(https://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/201074/300.stillhere.2.lc.080510.jpg)
And in his first cinematic appearance on the big-screen, Slash agrees to die his hair blond to tackle the role of SirGuitarCozmo
(https://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s218/celebitchy/slash2.jpg)
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(https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/forumavatars/avatar_7076_1354406123.gif) casted as: (https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/forumavatars/avatar_7076_1354406123.gif)
I would love to be an animated gleeful dead child :heart
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(https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/forumavatars/avatar_7076_1354406123.gif) casted as: (https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/forumavatars/avatar_7076_1354406123.gif)
I would love to be an animated gleeful dead child :heart
Hey HEY HEY, that's not in our VFX budget! You'll have to be a guy in bed sheets, and you'll have to cut the eye holes yourself. The costume department isn't budgeted to be cutting things.
Starring in the role of BlobVanDam, Joaquin Phoenix reprises his 'I-don't-give-a-fuck-that's-how-awesome-I-am' shtick. 3-D glasses and all.
(https://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/201074/300.stillhere.2.lc.080510.jpg)
It's almost like you used the Google "search by image" using the one photo I have on FB. :lol
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/16445_216934118145_3561265_n.jpg)
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Nope, in fact on only picked up on Phoenix based on the half-head, dimly lit pic you gave us a couple months ago.
Oh, and starring as the foreign female lead pining for a good concert, yet forever lamenting that her favorite bands stay the fuck away from her country, Alanis Morissette as MoraWintersoul
(https://media-cache-ec0.pinterest.com/avatars/morissette-13_600.jpg)
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Oh god, is this the first normal picture we have of you, Blob? :o
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Oh god, is this the first normal picture we have of you, Blob? :o
Well it's pretty much identical to the pic I posted a little while back. :lol Except different headphones, and natural light. :o
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Blob has long hair? :hefdaddy
Oh, and starring as the foreign female lead pining for a good concert, yet forever lamenting that her favorite bands stay the fuck away from her country, Alanis Morissette as MoraWintersoul
:heart thank you.
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Blob: You're more bearded than I had expected. Is that a recent pic of you?
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Starring as the sharp-eyed Pier-cop (who secretly longs for a segue), Jonah Hill as JayOctavarium
(https://www.celebrities.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/e82d4_jonah_hill_bb.jpg)
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Blob: You're more bearded than I had expected. Is that a recent pic of you?
Nope, that's a couple of years old. I'm actually more bearded than that pic.
Starring as the sharp-eyed Pier-cop (who secretly longs for a segue), Jonah Hill as JayOctavarium
(https://www.celebrities.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/e82d4_jonah_hill_bb.jpg)
Gosh darnit, I already cast Jonah Hill as Nick. Will I have to get Seth Rogan instead?
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Oh god, is this the first normal picture we have of you, Blob? :o
Well it's pretty much identical to the pic I posted a little while back. :lol Except different headphones, and natural light. :o
Natural light makes all the difference!
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I don't know why, but I always pictured blob as Tom Hardy. Like he had a secret Australian life as Optimus Prime or something.
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Starring as the sharp-eyed Pier-cop (who secretly longs for a segue), Jonah Hill as JayOctavarium
(https://www.celebrities.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/e82d4_jonah_hill_bb.jpg)
"I didn't read the OP!" Chad exclaimed, once he was told that Jonah Hill was already casted as Nick.
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Ivan is clearly more handsome than Steven Wilson.
*flutters eyelashes and flicks the long, green wig*
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Can I pay you in cake to be my casting director?
Can that really happen? I'm pretty sure I could live off cake.
Yup, I'll get a bakery book and I'll work my way through it, while also doing some of my own creations, like spiced tea cake (made with real yunnan gold).I want Alice to do the audio commentary track.
Does this mean I don't get to be portrayed in the movie? :(
Of course, you will be portrayed by Björk.
(https://www.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2012/11/bjork-surgery.gif)
This makes me happy.
Film will be so much win.
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Starring as the sharp-eyed Pier-cop (who secretly longs for a segue), Jonah Hill as JayOctavarium
(https://www.celebrities.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/e82d4_jonah_hill_bb.jpg)
"I didn't read the OP!" Chad exclaimed, once he was told that Jonah Hill was already casted as Nick.
I read the OP, I just disregarded it. Ok, Jonah can shoot half the movie with some stubble, and half clean-shaven.
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:lol
he's going for that Academy Award
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Yup, I'll get a bakery book and I'll work my way through it, while also doing some of my own creations, like spiced tea cake
You're the best boss I'll ever have.
I just realized that, if Alanis is me, I am to be played by a person who played God.
(https://i322.photobucket.com/albums/nn431/Moriel_Alcaril/reaction/okwiththis.png)
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And of course Adami will be played by Bryan Cranston:
(https://charactergrades.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Season_4_-_Walt.jpg)
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Benedict Cumberbatch will play AndyDT. Why? More like why not!
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c3/Benedict_Cumberbatch_2011_(jpg).jpg/220px-Benedict_Cumberbatch_2011_(jpg).jpg)
"For England, Andy?"
"No, for God."
*shoot out*
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:lol
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Sharing a voice with Sigz is something I have no problem with either.
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This is archive worthy stuff here.
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It just gets more and more magical.
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And in his first cinematic appearance on the big-screen, Slash agrees to die his hair blond to tackle the role of SirGuitarCozmo
(https://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s218/celebitchy/slash2.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/R3xE6.jpg)
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This is a thread of the Gods I say. :hefdaddy
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Damnit I wish I looked like someone famous still. When I was younger and in shape I could pull off Bruce Campbell well enough to go as Ash to Halloween parties.
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Chiklis is a great actor, but I'm pretty sure I'm taller and thinner than him.
But I can't think of anyone else to cast as me. Other than Stone Cold Steve Austin.
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Yeah, but you can't improve upon perfection, so whoever plays you will be flawed in some way Hef.
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So, who's directing this film? What's the plot?
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The guy who directed Snakes on a Plane just died, so he's out.
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So, who's directing this film? What's the plot?
Hey now, those are questions for marketing, nothing to concern yourself with.
Chiklis is a great actor, but I'm pretty sure I'm taller and thinner than him.
But I can't think of anyone else to cast as me. Other than Stone Cold Steve Austin.
He would have been my #2 choice.
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/steve_austin_glasses.jpg)
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The ghost of Bea Arthur as Tick's lens flare:
(https://www.kadist.org/sites/kadist.org/files/styles/large/public/null/jordan_kantor_lens_flare.jpg)
And I really thought Trey Anastasio should play Sigz
(https://cdn.pastemagazine.com/www/system/images/thumbs/www/articles_2006_11_27/trey_anastasio_300x188.jpg?1273939730)
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Chiklis is a great actor, but I'm pretty sure I'm taller and thinner than him.
But I can't think of anyone else to cast as me. Other than Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Dean Norris:
(https://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTgyNTM4NjQ4OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTgyODQ5Mw@@._V1._SY314_CR37,0,214,314_.jpg)
Qualifications: Mutant in Total Recall.
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Can't see it.
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The ghost of Bea Arthur as Tick's lens flare:
(https://www.kadist.org/sites/kadist.org/files/styles/large/public/null/jordan_kantor_lens_flare.jpg)
:clap:
This is fucking genius.
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Can I be a tree? :o
An oak or a maple?
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Chiklis is a great actor, but I'm pretty sure I'm taller and thinner than him.
But I can't think of anyone else to cast as me. Other than Stone Cold Steve Austin.
(https://www.nykola.com/images/jesseventura.jpg)
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SCENE 11
Exterior of a downtown row house. A dark sedan pulls up. Out step Bosk and Hef, wearing expensive suits and cheap cologne. As Hef turns to close his door, his suit jacket opens slightly, revealing a large semiautomatic handgun. They step quickly up the steps to the building and enter.
Lonestar is preparing breakfast in a well-stocked, ergonomically correct kitchen. He moves calmly yet deliberately from the cutting board to the stove and back, adding ingredients to various pans, stirring things, etc. He is wearing a chef's hat, apron, and nothing else. Camera is positioned to take in most of the kitchen, a passthrough to the main living area, a hallway which presumably leads to one or more bedrooms, and Lonestar's excellent backside.
Camera positioned at the end of the hall shooting towards the main living area. A female figure steps out from one of the rooms and walks away from the camera. She is wearing a small loose-fitting T-shirt and panties. She disappears into another room and closes the door. We hear water running.
There is a knock at the door. Lonestar quickly checks the various pans on the stove, then goes and answers the door. It is Bosk and Hef. They smile. Lonestar does not. They enter the apartment without saying a word, as Lonestar heads back to the kitchen. He continues to prepare breakfast.
LONESTAR: You said Thursday.
BOSK: I know.
LONESTAR: It's only Tuesday.
BOSK: I know.
Lonestar stops what he's doing. He looks through the passthrough into the living room, where Bosk and Hef have seated themselves on the couch. Lonestar sighs.
LONESTAR: You're not going to make this easy for me, are you?
BOSK: Why should we?
to be continued...
-
SCENE 11
Exterior of a downtown row house. A dark sedan pulls up. Out step Bosk and Hef, wearing expensive suits and cheap cologne. As Hef turns to close his door, his suit jacket opens slightly, revealing a large semiautomatic handgun. They step quickly up the steps to the building and enter.
Lonestar is preparing breakfast in a well-stocked, ergonomically correct kitchen. He moves calmly yet deliberately from the cutting board to the stove and back, adding ingredients to various pans, stirring things, etc. He is wearing a chef's hat, apron, and nothing else. Camera is positioned to take in most of the kitchen, a passthrough to the main living area, a hallway which presumably leads to one or more bedrooms, and Lonestar's excellent backside.
Camera positioned at the end of the hall shooting towards the main living area. A female figure steps out from one of the rooms and walks away from the camera. She is wearing a small loose-fitting T-shirt and panties. Her face is obscured. She disappears into another room and closes the door. We hear water running.
There is a knock at the door. Lonestar quickly checks the various pans on the stove, then goes and answers the door. It is Bosk and Hef. They smile. Lonestar does not. They enter the apartment without saying a word, as Lonestar heads back to the kitchen. He continues to prepare breakfast.
LONESTAR: You said Thursday.
BOSK: I know.
LONESTAR: It's only Tuesday.
BOSK: I know.
Lonestar stops what he's doing. He looks through the passthrough into the living room, where Bosk and Hef have seated themselves on the couch. Lonestar sighs.
LONESTAR: You're not going to make this easy for me, are you?
BOSK: Why should we?
to be continued...
FTFY
-
:clap:
-
If this script somehow manages to incorporate a water gollum and bacon-induced hallucinations, I think it will at the very least be tied for most epic thing ever, with the very real possibility of pulling out the outright victory.
-
There must be ghosts and UFOs as well.
-
And a cameo of Chris Collins singing the Your Majesty loop.
-
_can everyone write?-
Scene 12.
BosK rolls up his sleeves slowly. Reveals two very large and colourful Japanese style tattoo´s.
Hefdaddy looks over, a small smile around his lips.
Lonestar: ´Look, you guys....´
Bosk: ´NOT so fast.....you owe us, remember?´
Lonestar: ´Can I just check on the food real quick? I´m cooking a very special meal for a very special lady....and I´d HATE to spoil it´
Hefdaddy: (looks at Bosk who nods very slowly) ´okay. Real quick.....but I´m watching....and stay away from those steak knives´ Lonestar starts to move across the kitchen, very leisurlely.
All of a sudden, there´s a flash across the room. In a super slowmotion replay, we see the bedroom door open, and a womanfigure darts out at speed and cartwheels across the room. Bosk has just anough time to turn his head a quarter of the way around before one of the woman´s high heels catch him square across the nose. The blood flies out in slow motion and splatters across the near wall. In one movement (or so it seems) the woman has drawn a slim knife and has thrown it towards Hefdaddy, who anticipated something of the kind and throws himself behind the counter. Having come to a standstill, we now recognise the woman as Obscure.
-
The plot thickens!
-
There must be ghosts and UFOs as well.
Will there be lens flare involved?
-
Mickey Rourke as Cyclopssss?
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/226617_222659767751029_6100405_n.jpg)
(https://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Observer/Pix/pictures/2009/6/3/1244026701234/Mickey-Rourke-press-confe-002.jpg)
-
Seems out of character for me to hide behind a counter.
But proceed.
-
I just found this thread and OMG
:rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
-
He is wearing a chef's hat, apron, and nothing else. Camera is positioned to take in most of the kitchen, a passthrough to the main living area, a hallway which presumably leads to one or more bedrooms, and Lonestar's excellent backside.
:hat
-
Is this a Showtime original movie?
-
Micky Roarke would do me fine, thank you! Can I be a bum? I´d love to be a bum!
-
I know there has to be a scene at a marina :hat
-
Am I too late??
Cause it's pretty obvious who plays The Dude...
I'll be drinking White Russians to each and every one of you in honor of the DTF movie. (wow...I'm gonna be freakin plowed...)
:hat
-
I specifically left out any mention of Obscure because she hasn't been cast yet. Oh well.
-
Am I too late??
Cause it's pretty obvious who plays The Dude...
I'll be drinking White Russians to each and every one of you in honor of the DTF movie. (wow...I'm gonna be freakin plowed...)
:hat
(https://static.prtst.net/asset-proxy/6cccf047672686f9a0223eaa77bf9b5a3ff364d2/687474703a2f2f692e696d6775722e636f6d2f6d456769722e676966/https://i.imgur.com/mEgir.gif)
-
A toast to you all...
(https://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r47/jammindude/biglebowski08b_zps3539fba6.jpeg)
-
Lemme check....
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/384148_10151112739434983_1934947680_n.jpg)
Julia Roberts as Obscure?
(https://www.animaatjes.nl/beroemdheden/j/julia-roberts/animaatjes-julia-roberts-69436.jpg)
-
Or Nadia G. from Bitchin' Kitchen:
(https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nuyuADqiuPQ/T-IJxTv6AII/AAAAAAAAAtI/XzCJsRUhSVk/s1600/Nadia+G+1.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/384148_10151112739434983_1934947680_n.jpg)
-
_can everyone write?-
Scene 12.
BosK rolls up his sleeves slowly. Reveals two very large and colourful Japanese style tattoo´s.
Hefdaddy looks over, a small smile around his lips.
Lonestar: ´Look, you guys....´
Bosk: ´NOT so fast.....you owe us, remember?´
Lonestar: ´Can I just check on the food real quick? I´m cooking a very special meal for a very special lady....and I´d HATE to spoil it´
Hefdaddy: (looks at Bosk who nods very slowly) ´okay. Real quick.....but I´m watching....and stay away from those steak knives´ Lonestar starts to move across the kitchen, very leisurlely.
All of a sudden, there´s a flash across the room. In a super slowmotion replay, we see the bedroom door open, and a womanfigure darts out at speed and cartwheels across the room. Bosk has just anough time to turn his head a quarter of the way around before one of the woman´s high heels catch him square across the nose. The blood flies out in slow motion and splatters across the near wall. In one movement (or so it seems) the woman has drawn a slim knife and has thrown it towards Hefdaddy, who anticipated something of the kind and throws himself behind the counter. Having come to a standstill, we now recognise the woman as Obscure.
Scene 12, continued.
obscure flips her hair back sassily and stares at Hef, a small smile playing her lips.
obscure: You should have never come here. I had warned you many a time, but you didn't listen!
bosk (coughing blood): So you sent us the anonymous letters meant to intimidate us! But why?
obscure (laughing evilly): You know what? I actually lied. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist, and now I have you where I want you. You know, after our last encounter, I trained every day, sometimes with lonestar's help, sometimes without. I grew stronger every day, with only revenge on my mind, and I can say that I have finally, at least in terms of fighting, become as good as any guy out there.
obscure draws a gun out of the waistband of her skimpy panties, aiming at hef, who doesn't appear impressed. Without even looking, he smacks lonestar, who had been sneaking up on him with a frying pan, into the face, sending him stumbling. The sudden reaction lets obscure startle for a second, which hef uses by wrenching the frying pan from lonestar's graps and throwing it across the room with frightening accuracy. It hits obscure dead on the forehead, who slumps to the floor, unconscious.
hef (taking off his sunglasses): You, a guy? You're a fucking stupid bitch.
-
:clap:
:corn
-
hef (taking off his sunglasses): You, a guy? You're a fucking stupid bitch.
hef: puts sunglasses back on ...
:lhk:
(roll to intro)
-
I'm thinking Anna Torv for ms obscure.
(https://www.carreck.com/celebrities/wallpaper/anna-torv041.jpg)
maybe Julie Bowen or Kate Hudson.
-
Roberts actually works!
The guy who directed Snakes on a Plane just died, so he's out.
NOBODY TOLD ME
NOOOOOOOO
Camera is positioned to take in most of the kitchen, a passthrough to the main living area, a hallway which presumably leads to one or more bedrooms, and Lonestar's excellent backside.
This made me lose my shit.
*waits for more script* :caffeine:
I might write some after work.
-
:rollin
-
my goodness :lol :lol
thanks for the heads up Chad :tup
-
Just found this thread and OMG. :hefdaddy :hefdaddy
-
Scene 12, continued.
Hef draws his gun and points it at lonestar's head. bosk1 reaches over and gentle nudges the barrel of the gun down.
bosk1: It's okay, hef. We're all friends here. That's just her way of saying hello.
Hef: And why is it again that obscure's "hello"s always start with you needing more dental work and ending with you buying her dinner?
bosk1 (brushing hef's comment aside): Arj, you know why we're here.
lonestar (irritably): I'm retired.
bosk1: You were retired.
Lonestar looks around uncomfortably, as if looking for help, then lets out a sigh as his shoulders slump and he sits down.
Hef pulls a cigar out of his coat pocket, lights up, and then sits back on the sofa, smiling.
Scene cuts to a dark basement, lighted only by the glow from a computer monitor...
-
:tup
-
Scene 12, continued.
Hef draws his gun and points it at lonestar's head. bosk1 reaches over and gentle nudges the barrel of the gun down.
bosk1: It's okay, hef. We're all friends here. That's just her way of saying hello.
Hef: And why is it again that obscure's "hello"s always start with you needing more dental work and ending with you buying her dinner?
bosk1 (brushing hef's comment aside): Arj, you know why we're here.
lonestar (irritably): I'm retired.
bosk1: You were retired.
Lonestar looks around uncomfortably, as if looking for help, then lets out a sigh as his shoulders slump and he sits down.
Hef pulls a cigar out of his coat pocket, lights up, and then sits back on the sofa, smiling.
Scene cuts to a dark basement, lighted only by the glow from a computer monitor...
RJ in nothing but a chefs apron. Where is the gun pointed at again? :lol
-
Wait.....erotic thriller! Still waiting......
-
I'm really intrigued as to who you guys would cast for me. I've been told people I look like in the past, but I can't remember any of them. :lol
-
Scene 12, continued.
Hef draws his gun and points it at lonestar's head. bosk1 reaches over and gentle nudges the barrel of the gun down.
bosk1: It's okay, hef. We're all friends here. That's just her way of saying hello.
Hef: And why is it again that obscure's "hello"s always start with you needing more dental work and ending with you buying her dinner?
bosk1 (brushing hef's comment aside): Arj, you know why we're here.
lonestar (irritably): I'm retired.
bosk1: You were retired.
Lonestar looks around uncomfortably, as if looking for help, then lets out a sigh as his shoulders slump and he sits down.
Hef pulls a cigar out of his coat pocket, lights up, and then sits back on the sofa, smiling.
Scene cuts to a dark basement, lighted only by the glow from a computer monitor...
As if it were the only child of darkness, a voice, deeper than the betrayers'chasm of hell, quietly releases a word in the intoxicating air. The light of the monitor, filtered and dimmed by an old fashioned and worn out sight-saving screen, can barely light lips tisting to form a crooked smile. Above them, the story of a lawyer, his thug and a chef unfolds reflected on a pair of 3D glasses.
To Be Continued...
-
dahahahahahahah... I should start 'reading' this thread :lol
-
Suddenly the screen goes dark and an error message appears.
Blob: Well, shit.
-
Suddenly the screen goes BSOD and an error message appears.
Blob: Well, shit.
FTFT
-
Scene 13....
BlobVanDam is sweating profusely in the heat. It's 1am in Australia, and still over 100oF. Blob has been awake for precisely 17 minutes. The darkness is his only solace. Efforts to numb all senses fail, as the sound of random acts of coitus come oozing through the thin walls. Blob sighs... "Why can't I get these headphones to turn to 11? Coz has an amplifier that goes to 11, why can't I have headphones?"
He receives email. It's Worf's voice "Captain, incoming message".
Blob opens email
"Dude... that video you made of my song killed. Absolutely killed! I'm getting nominated for best new country artist with an animated video. I need you to do another... but by next week. I'm still not gonna pay you shit, but I know I can count on you".
Blob let's out a deeper sigh. "He doesn't know me too well, does he Admiral Jackbar?". Admiral Jackbar, despite the likeness to Peter Sellers is Blob's baby Dingo, lying patiently at Blob's feet.
Random acts of coitus become too much for Blob to bear. He removes 3-D glasses and headphones, and walks down the hall. With all the subtlety of a heart attack, Blob stroll's into his brother's room.
"Bro, can you for once .... " Utter shock seeps into Blob's expression.
"Jackie??"
To Be Continued ...
-
Awesome. :lol
-
:lol
-
Holy shit guys :rollin
-
This is like the world's weirdest fanfiction.
With real people.
-
Meanwhile, in a secret mountain lair, Cedar redaC begins finding 5/8 Nuggetz in almost everything he does. He begins to connect the dots that the album Octavarium is intertwined with the workings of the Universe in ways he previously thought impossible.
-
I'm really intrigued as to who you guys would cast for me. I've been told people I look like in the past, but I can't remember any of them. :lol
(https://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r243/ariich/me/CIMG5123.jpg)
(https://i48.tinypic.com/34fxth3.jpg)
Sacha Baron Cohen as ariich, one half of a pair of comic relief villains with British accents.
-
I'm really intrigued as to who you guys would cast for me. I've been told people I look like in the past, but I can't remember any of them. :lol
(https://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r243/ariich/me/CIMG5123.jpg)
(https://i48.tinypic.com/34fxth3.jpg)
Sacha Baron Cohen as ariich, one half of a pair of comic relief villains with British accents.
You kind of look like the guy from the Human League (https://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSYD-7jV1GZwz5RCiqUaoYzyo3v4HkoA8tb_hVSRikhlIfRe_VpkA)
-
I want in on this action...who's playing me?
-
(https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/sites/default/files/2011/07/zach_braff_2011_a_p.jpg)
and :rollin at the baby dingo.
-
I scoured actors and I can't say I can find any who look similar to myself
-
Introducing:
(https://cmsimg.rgj.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Site=J7&Date=20120229&Category=ENT02&ArtNo=302290026&Ref=AR&MaxW=300&Border=0&Don-t-look-nostalgia-Primus-reunion)
Les Claypool as Dylan!
(https://i.imgur.com/NIU0U.jpg?1)
-
b_f
YOU FUCKING ROCK
-
Introducing:
(https://cmsimg.rgj.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Site=J7&Date=20120229&Category=ENT02&ArtNo=302290026&Ref=AR&MaxW=300&Border=0&Don-t-look-nostalgia-Primus-reunion)
Les Claypool as Dylan!
(https://i.imgur.com/NIU0U.jpg?1)
Or
(https://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss272/kingshmegland/Waldo_zpsf668993d.jpg)
-
:rollin
b_f
YOU FUCKING ROCK
:heart :heart :heart
-
Introducing:
(https://cmsimg.rgj.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Site=J7&Date=20120229&Category=ENT02&ArtNo=302290026&Ref=AR&MaxW=300&Border=0&Don-t-look-nostalgia-Primus-reunion)
Les Claypool as Dylan!
(https://i.imgur.com/NIU0U.jpg?1)
TIME TO WORK ON MY FACIAL HAIR :hat
-
With a smallish cameo appearance by...
Kate Winslet as DebraKadabra, the plucky gal always armed with an emote and a heart of gold.
(picture to be added later, as I'm at work presently)
-
With a smallish cameo appearance by...
Kate Winslet as DebraKadabra, the plucky gal always armed with an emote and a heart of gold.
(picture to be added later, as I'm at work presently)
Well...my *favorite* pic of her is, of course, something I can't post here. :angel:
But this one is right up there, though...
(https://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r47/jammindude/KateW_zpscfaee293.jpg)
-
Heh - some of my favorite ones I can't post either *wink wink nudge nudge* ;)
LOVE the one you posted up though, and she still has the red hair too! :heart
-
Heh - some of my favorite ones I can't post either *wink wink nudge nudge* ;)
LOVE the one you posted up though, and she still has the red hair too! :heart
She DOES???
The most recent pics I've seen...she's gone blonde. On most people that looks good...but it makes her look older for some reason. I don't like it.
-
Oops - I worded that wrong: the pic was taken while she still HAD the red hair. She's most definitely blonde and has been for a good while, I just think she makes a stunning redhead - so, I disagree obviously.
-
Oops - I worded that wrong: the pic was taken while she still HAD the red hair. She's most definitely blonde and has been for a good while, I just think she makes a stunning redhead - so, I disagree obviously.
No...I think you agree. I think the *BLONDE* makes her look older and I don't like the BLONDE. She was always a redhead in my mind. STUNNING is the perfect word.
-
She has a more mature look with the blond hair. I dig it. :tup
-
No...I think you agree. I think the *BLONDE* makes her look older and I don't like the BLONDE. She was always a redhead in my mind. STUNNING is the perfect word.
Heh. Derp moment. :P
She has a more mature look with the blond hair. I dig it. :tup
I agree with The Dude - I think the blonde makes her look older and accentuates that (which is kind of a shame, as she's about 5 years younger than me).
Oh - I really dug all of her hair color changes in Eternal Sunshine too, but the deep red (during the Jim Carrey as a baby scenes) was PERFECT.
-
I'm really intrigued as to who you guys would cast for me. I've been told people I look like in the past, but I can't remember any of them. :lol
(https://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r243/ariich/me/CIMG5123.jpg)
(https://i48.tinypic.com/34fxth3.jpg)
Sacha Baron Cohen as ariich, one half of a pair of comic relief villains with British accents.
His partner in crime, presumably, being...
(https://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r243/ariich/forum%20stuff/robwebster.png)
(https://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r243/ariich/forum%20stuff/wenn_image_wenn4041480_54_3576_1.jpg)
The great robwebster, portrayed on screen by best-selling singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran.
-
Holy balls, rob. You look just like my friend Andy, so much so that your posts are now mentally in his voice for me. It's terrifying.
-
I originally thought Simon Pegg would be able to pull out rob. But I agree that this guy you posted is much more resembling.
-
Fucking great thread. :lol
-
The great robwebster, portrayed on screen by best-selling singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran.
Sacha Baron Cohen and Ed Sheeran - it's the comedy partnership everyone's been waiting for!
(Also - how on earth did you find that?! No issue with it, just thought it'd disappeared a long time ago.)
-
*chimes in to say she thinks Rob is Britishly cute. Carry on*
-
SCENE 23
Noon. A busy restaurant in Chinatown. Servers are pushing carts of food around, shouting things in Chinese, presumably the contents of their carts. Adami, Jingle Boy, and Jay Octavarium are eating Dim Sum.
ADAMI: I don't know what the hell is going on anymore. Does anyone know what the hell is going on?
JINGLE BOY: What do you mean?
ADAMI: I mean it seems like nothing makes sense. It's like we're all characters in a movie without any plot. One of those bad B movies that's just an excuse to have a bunch of people all in it, but with nothing like a coherent story.
JINGLE BOY: That's pretty meta.
JAY OCTAVARIUM: But that's how life is sometimes. Everybody has their own thing, and sometimes paths cross.
ADAMI: Yeah, but for no reason? Suddenly a bunch of people just end up together doing things? Like that whole thing with the pajama party. A bunch of girls hanging around in skimpy little nighties, guys hanging around outside the windows hoping to catch a glimpse of something...
JAY OCTAVARIUM: Man, that one was pretty hot.
ADAMI: The British one?
JAY OCTAVARIUM: Well her too, yeah, but...
ADAMI: The redhead?
JAY OCTAVARIUM: Would you let me...
ADAMI: The Serbian?
JAY OCTAVARIUM: She's not chubby!
ADAMI: What?
JINGLE BOY: What?
ADAMI: Sorry, I was thinking of something else.
A server stops by with a cart. He has long hair and impressive facial hair. He is the only male server in the restaurant.
ADAMI points at one of the items on the cart. The Asian Man picks it up and sets it on the table. He says something in Chinese, just so that he'll have a speaking role and be paid scale for his appearance, but he's not important enough for us to know his name.
JINGLE BOY points at something, and Asian Man sets it on the table as well. Asian Man looks at JINGLE BOY critically, and seems to recognize him. On the cart, hidden between the stacks of bamboo steamers, is a knife. He reaches for it...
-
:corn
-
:corn
Is that with extra butter, love that movie theater butter!!!
-
:corn
Is that with extra butter, love that movie theater butter!!!
You know it :tup
-
Extra artificial butter flavored grease.
-
This is going to go on forever, isn't it? :tup
-
It is, and we'll only catch glimpses of it here and there. Like fading in and out of consciousness, or remembering fleeting moments of a dream.
-
This is going to go on forever, isn't it? :tup
It won't be over until each and every DTF member has been introduced - even those who have never actually posted anything or been here for years! :lol
-
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/6696-15044.gif)
Bobcat Goldthwait as clinks63
-
I dare anyone to cast me. Good luck.
-
I dare anyone to cast me. Good luck.
-
You guys realise that someone will HAVE to write scene 1, don't you? Or else this ain't gonna make sense.....waitaminute.... ???
-
I got an idea for scene one,but I'm on the move now.
-
Hey! Someone said clinks! Clinks!!!! We love clinks!!!
-
I was actually sitting here thinking earlier "clinks has to get worked into this somehow".
-
I was actually sitting here thinking earlier "clinks has to get worked into this somehow".
He will only appear in the opening scene, and then he's never seen again.
-
In that case, I'd envision him as some sort of a rock star or or actor or something, such that when he gets off the plane and walks through the airport, he's absolutely mobbed with people.
-
I envision the first scene being kind of like the open for Reservoir Dogs. Some guys sitting around a table during or after breakfast, chatting, and getting ready for something big. I started writing a little bit, but it's not really that great. I was never very good at writing dialogue, and I'm still not any better.
-
SCENE 23, CONTINUED
As he reaches for the knife with one hand, Asian Man lifts the lid of the bamboo steamer he has placed in front of Jingle Boy with his other hand. It is an order of Sticky Rice, wrapped traditionally in a banana leaf and tied with a string. With an almost imperceptible motion, he cuts the string with the tip of the knife. The Sticky Rice "relaxes" and so does Jingle Boy.
Suddenly, there is a loud crashing sound elsewhere in the restaurant. Sir Guitar Cozmo, attempting to navigate the busy restaurant while wearing shades (and his Strat), has stumbled into a food cart, knocking it over.
Darklord Lalinc, seated at a nearby table, rises to see what has happened, and so do a dozen beautiful women who are seated with him. Darklord Lalinc glances at them with a stern look, and the women all sit back down obediently. Darklord Lalinc also sits back down, and they continue with their meal.
SIR GUITAR COZMO (observing the mess he has made): Whoa.
The server who was pushing the cart quickly rights the cart and begins scooping the food back into the bamboo steamers and stacking them back on the cart. Soon, everything is off the floor and back on the cart, and she continues her rounds as though nothing has happened.
SIR GUITAR COZMO (watching the entire thing): Whoa.
-
I think the plot should revolve around the disappearance of Indiscipline. Just sayin'.
-
OMG WE FORGOT ABOUT VLASTO
-
lol plot
edit: oh shit.. who will be vlasto??
-
lol plot
edit: oh shit.. who will be vlasto??
I don't know, but I imagine he'll show up for no particular reason at random times throughout the movie, a handful of people will lose their shit, and the rest of the extras will all stand around scratching their heads, clueless as to what the big deal is.
-
ben affleck and I look very similar................but he doesn't do nudes...so not sure that is a good casting choice.
-
Hmm, probably not in that case :lol
lol plot
edit: oh shit.. who will be vlasto??
I don't know, but I imagine he'll show up for no particular reason at random times throughout the movie, a handful of people will lose their shit, and the rest of the extras will all stand around scratching their heads, clueless as to what the big deal is.
And there was much rejoicing.
-
That reminds me, there should probably be a few Python-esque interludes, animated by Blob.
-
haha yeah definitely ;D
-
That reminds me, there should probably be a few Python-esque interludes, animated by Blob.
With action figuurrrrsss!!!! And political campaign endorsements.
-
I nominate the ghost of Rodney Dangerfield to play me, because I don't get any respect either.
-
I nominate Daniel Radcliffe to play me. But he first needs to put on a lil weight.
-
I think Vlasto should be an off-screen character who's referred to often but never seen. He should have some absurdly important role in the plot (that we never see) and then somewhere, near the end of the movie, we'll pull a Wilson-from-Home-Improvement-esque trick where you think you're about to see him, but the camera stops panning over right before he'd show up.
And then we'd have some ridiculously awesome actor voice his single speaking line. Someone like James Earl Jones. Or Patrick Stewart. Or Morgan Freeman.
-
I think Vlasto should be an off-screen character who's referred to often but never seen. He should have some absurdly important role in the plot (that we never see) and then somewhere, near the end of the movie, we'll pull a Wilson-from-Home-Improvement-esque trick where you think you're about to see him, but the camera stops panning over right before he'd show up.
And then we'd have some ridiculously awesome actor voice his single speaking line. Someone like James Earl Jones. Or Patrick Stewart. Or Morgan Freeman.
Twist ... Vlasto is female. I want Ali or Talia to voice her.
-
That reminds me, there should probably be a few Python-esque interludes, animated by Blob.
YES.
-
That reminds me, there should probably be a few Python-esque interludes, animated by Blob.
YES.
We need explosions for no reason
-
That too.
-
That reminds me, there should probably be a few Python-esque interludes, animated by Blob.
YES.
We need explosions for no reason
:splodearms:
-
So it'll be a Michael Bay film, then?
-
Oh GAWD I hope not...
-
Directed by M Night Shyamalanalanamanylanan.
-
:rollin
-
We need explosions for no reason
So it'll be a Michael Bay film, then?
YES YES YES
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJxj1mou03M
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There must be a bar scene. Anyone wanna play the bartender who is secretly a cyborg ninja?
A cyborg ninja?
Hmmmm...
(https://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080513174909/metalgear/images/1/1b/Grey_fox.jpg)
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:lol
-
If Blob needs any help in producing ideas for the interludes, I'd happily delve into the depths of my mind.
After all, I never did manage to get a shot of bishop-ninjas chasing protagonists through a forest on mountain bikes, and when one protagonist is captured, the rest keep on riding like crazy for no apparent reason, other than when they come to a fallen tree, they get off, calmly walk round and then carry on pedalling like mad.
-
The Opening Scene.....
(In a quiet, slightly overgrown cemetery, like one found in almost every small town across America- The rain falls gently, magically missing the aging Blob, though he is without an umbrella. Certain class of men, with the Armani suit, short cropped $1000 haircut, and a Bentley in waiting, seem impervious to the rain anyways. The only things hinting at his old, false identity, the one that almost consumed the billionaire jewel thief, were the 3D glasses hanging from his coat pocket, and the tattoo of a tear under one eye with the Majesty symbol in it, a reminder to himself of the many lives destroyed in his pursuit of a passion that could never be satiated. He picks a grave at random, as he does on every year at this time, and silently lays a single rose on it.)
(Voice of Blob in the background, sullen and full of remorse)- Was it worth it? I really don't think I will be able to answer that. Yes, the sale of the Lonestar Diamond to that Saudi Prince did set me up for life, but I was pretty well set anyways before. I did it for the hunt, for the kill, I just never intended for that life to become more real than mine. It was just meant to be a game. Never remembered so many dying in games though, so many that I came to love. The aborigine tribe that raised me never taught me love, they just made sure that the unpalatable white baby the dingo wouldn't eat lived long enough to survive on his own. I had to go in to learn it, and when I did, it died around me. But I am safe, I am set, and that security means absolute dick to me, I am as empty as I was before I stole the Diamond from that asshole chef, who the hell names a stone after himself anyways. It might have all gone OK if that crazy Turkish assassin didn't have eyes on Lonestar's stone for herself, but for Jackie's love, I would have done anything, anything.....
(Fade to a bank robbery in Switzerland, Clinks63 emerges from the tunnel, only his head and hand which holds the illustrious Lonestar Diamond show. In a messy red explosion, his head dissappears, the diamond almost hits the ground, saved by the beefy hand of Hef)
Hef: I love it when the noobs do the hard work, don't you boss?
Bosk: He was a pain in the ass anyways, but quiet as a mouse fart. He served his purpose. Let's go Hef, you know how Jackie gets when she is kept waiting....
Have fun boys....
-
The great robwebster, portrayed on screen by best-selling singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran.
Sacha Baron Cohen and Ed Sheeran - it's the comedy partnership everyone's been waiting for!
(Also - how on earth did you find that?! No issue with it, just thought it'd disappeared a long time ago.)
I don't even know, I have loads of random DTF crap on my computer, including a bunch of pics of tons of different people from ages ago (most of them probably pre-DTF.org). I tried going through your past posts to find a picture of you BUT THERE WERE NONE. At least, none within 20 pages or so. So I got bored and thought I'd see if there was anything I had already, and voila. I also have one where you look like you're drunkenly singing, but figured I'd save that one for blackmail purposes. :eyebrows:
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This thread is completely and utterly brilliant so far!
*begins composing the soundtrack*
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(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/BlobVanDam/6696-15044.gif)
Bobcat Goldthwait as clinks63
:lol
-
Directed by M Night Shyamalanalanamanylanan.
And of course starring M Night Shyamalanalanamanylanan.,...cus that's the way he rolls.... :tup This thread has major win :hat
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Let's go Hef, you know how Jackie gets when she is kept waiting....
:hat
:corn
-
:biggrin:
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Re: DTF: The Movie
Rob Webster would totally be played by Stephen Fry or Hugh Laurie.
-
*gratuitous sex scene involving myself, jackie, vlasto, and a jar of pickles*
-
*gratuitous sex scene involving myself, jackie, vlasto, and a jar of pickles*
:omg: THINK OF THE CHILDRENthat are allergic to pickles!!!
-
*gratuitous sex scene involving myself, jackie, vlasto, and a jar of pickles*
:omg: THINK OF THE CHILDRENthat are allergic to pickles!!!
What? You want to put children in a sex scene too? You disgust me!
-
olol
-
*gratuitous sex scene involving myself, jackie, vlasto, and a jar of pickles*
:omg: THINK OF THE CHILDRENthat are allergic to pickles!!!
What? You want to put children in a sex scene too? You disgust me!
Needs more Metal Gear characters. (Damn... This is what happens when I dont go to sleep and beat Metal Gear Sold games...) Btw we need a death scene. For who though?
-
*gratuitous sex scene involving myself, jackie, vlasto, and a jar of pickles*
:omg: THINK OF THE CHILDRENthat are allergic to pickles!!!
What? You want to put children in a sex scene too? You disgust me!
:ontome:
-
I'm gonna throw around some short actress names. None even look remotely like me, but they are short!
Reese Witherspoon
Hayden Panettiere
Salma Hayek
Natalie Portman
-
I'm gonna throw around some short actress names. None even look remotely like me, but they are short!
Reese Witherspoon
Hayden Panettiere
Salma Hayek
Natalie Portman
They don't need to be short. We'll do it with visual effects, LOTR style. You will be this movie's Frodo!
-
As long as I don't have gigantic hairy feet!
-
I'm gonna throw around some short actress names. None even look remotely like me, but they are short!
Reese Witherspoon
Hayden Panettiere
Salma Hayek
Natalie Portman
They don't need to be short. We'll do it with visual effects, LOTR style. You will be this movie's Frodo!
No dice. Alice has been the resident femme Hobbit for ages. I'll throw early era Britney Spears in since Trish and her both have that adorable slight baby face thing going on. Well early era Brit anyhoo.
-
Btw we need a death scene. For who though?
Me? I only have a smallish cameo appearance anyway. :jets:
-
Btw we need a death scene. For who though?
Me? I only have a smallish cameo appearance anyway. :jets:
Hefdaddy can die and come back three scenes later.
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I wouldn't advocate that. :angel:
-
Btw we need a death scene. For who though?
Me? I only have a smallish cameo appearance anyway. :jets:
Heck no. You're gonna save the world at the end.
By making it turn into a gigantic pinapple.
-
I'm gonna throw around some short actress names. None even look remotely like me, but they are short!
Reese Witherspoon
Hayden Panettiere
Salma Hayek
Natalie Portman
They don't need to be short. We'll do it with visual effects, LOTR style. You will be this movie's Frodo!
No dice. Alice has been the resident femme Hobbit for ages. I'll throw early era Britney Spears in since Trish and her both have that adorable slight baby face thing going on. Well early era Brit anyhoo.
I need a Hobbit companion, it's like a sausage fest in The Shire :(
-
Scene 1/2, (I guess)
Exterior. LA Harbor dockside, night.
In the dark, two figures in black clothing drag a third figure along the docks. A large ship is lies ankered in the distance, but the figures are heading the other way, towards an uninhabited area. They come to a standstill near the water and the figure they’re dragging along starts struggling when it figures out what’s about to happen. One of the black clad men, the larger of the two, punch the figure in the face, hard. The second of the two, the smaller one, draws a large handgun. Seconds later, two shots are heard and not long after, a large splash when the body hits the water. The two men in black brush their clothes off with their hands and then walk back to their waiting car, a dark blue Lincoln.
Not to far off, amongst some garbage dumpsters and dumped garbagebags…a seemingly lifeless hulk stirs, and one eye opens…..
Exterior. LA Harbor the same dockside, morning.
The three women exit their small vehicle and start walking toward the dockside.
Alirocker08: ‘I still don’t understand why you guys have dragged me out here. I’m freezing my arse off’.
Debrakadebra: ‘Babygirl, please. This is a warm day. I thought you British toffs were accustomed to rainy weather’
Alirocker08: ‘Yeah, well not this Brit….fucking cold!, Faye, fucking slow DOWN, will ya?’
NightmareCinema: ‘Yeah, Debs, what are we doing here, anyway?’
Debrakadebra: ‘Listen girls, I don’t know any more than you do, ok?, just trust me. I was told to meet someone here and bring you guys along’.
Bickering, the three women walk along the dockside, past some garbage pails and containers.
Suddenly, one of the ‘garbagebags’ moves, an empty bottle starts rolling tinkling away, startling the girls and making them scream out loud. A figure slowly sits up, removing a plastic sheet that he apparently spent the night under. He removes a dirty overcoat, revealing a pinkish/purple shirt. He’s wearing glasses and has a greyish beard. It appears to be a slightly rumpled Cyclopssss.
NightmareCinema: ‘For fucks sake! You scared the crap outta me!’
Alirocker08/Debrakadebra: ‘And me!’
Cyclopssss: Well, gee girls, I’m sorry. It’s just that, you see, something came up.’
Debrakadebra: ‘Yeah, spare us the deatails please!’
Alirocker08: ‘oooh…did it involve bubblewrap?’
Cyclopssss: ‘eehh…no. It did, however, involve a dead body. That’s why I put in the call to Wey, or the ghost of Wey, or whatever he’s called these days. I guess he’s sent the best he got, apparently. You girls.
Alirocker08: ‘Well, fuck me.’
NightmareCinema: ‘Yeah, Deb, what gives, huh? Is this why you called me in the middle of the night, to some godforsaken abandoned dockside, talking to some BUM, freezing my butt off?’
Cyclopssss: ‘And a very nice one it is, if I may be so blunt.’ :yarr
Debrakadebra: ’No you may fucking NOT!’ (takes a deep breathe) ‘Look, I’m having trouble understanding all of this as it is, and I’m freezing my arse off as well, OK??!
(towards a flustered Cyclopssss): ‘Look, I'm sorry, I get stressed. Just show me the fucking body. I’m getting sick and tired of the smell of this place….and that includes you!’
To be continued.... (have fun!)
(sorry Ali, just wanted to hear you say ‘fuck’ in that voice) :angel:
-
Heck no. You're gonna save the world at the end.
By making it turn into a gigantic pinapple.
:laugh:
I need a Hobbit companion, it's like a sausage fest in The Shire :(
I'm geeky enough, would that help? :)
Cy :jets: :rollin :jets: (I wouldn't say "babygirl" though... )
-
BUT IT'S IN THE SCRIPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol
-
:lolpalm:
Oh, and "ghost of Wey"?! You can't lose a wookiee that easy, unless something earlier in "the script" explains it. :jets:
-
scene 1/2...
so in a flashback? idk
-
*me shrugs*
-
-waits for another scene to show up-
I would write one but... wel... I suck. lol
-
Yeah, I can't really write dialog either.
-
Come on, give it a whirl....it's fun!
-
Maybe when I'm not hip deep in prep for my Top 50 album list. ;)
-
Scene 16-18: The Art Proposition
Setting: Boardroom inside the Museum of Modern Art, NY.
Players: Heretic, Sketchy, THED6, Lonestar, Clinks63
Inside an elevator, Lonestar and Heretic are heading up to the director's boardroom to propose the donation of the Lonestar Diamond to the museum's private collection.
Lonestar: Nervous?
Heretic: Kinda...I'm just hoping for a big payoff.
L: That's a lot to ask for these days.
H: I know. I know, it's just a big deal for me. Jewelry isn't mine thing.
L: Well it should, have you looked at it recently?
Elevator passes the 2nd floor.
L: Look the less you worry about their initial reaction the better suited you'll be for the deal. As long as you sink it, we'll be in the clear and I can go back to retirement.
H: You know, that has been bugging me for a while, how did the boys get you out of retirement anyway? There had to have been a payoff for you in this otherwise you wouldn't have come to me. You could have gone to Sketchy. He's already a shoe in here-
L: That's why I had to go to you. Sketchy had too many connections here. He'd rat me out in a second. Good thing is I got him pegged with an illegal orgy in the museum if he ever tries to hang me for this deal.
H: ...I don't want to know what you-
L: Asians....asians, asians, asians.
H: OK, you can shut up now.
Elevator reaches the 7th floor.
L: DING Good luck. Infect them with that good ol Stockholm Syndrome.
H: Nods You too...
Outside the elevator Heretic is escorted past rare Kandsnky's, Pollock's, and Seurat's. The atmosphere is intimidating, bold and dark. As they walk through a pair of double doors, to the right is THED6, Sketchy, and a Saudi Arabian. Saulations are made, and once the bodygaurds leave the room, Thed6 motions to the brandy.
THED6: Would you care for a glass? I only offer it to out most privileged clients...(Heretic accepts)...it's 20 years old. Most people would think I'd have something older or more prestigious, but that's not how I got here.
H: How did you get here?
6: The direct approach, I guess. When I was young, I assumed if you made a piece of art you needed to sell it. Then you would be famous and people would love you. In turn, you wouldn't have to pay for sex. Well, steps one and two went smoothly...three was a big stretch. Turns out women won't sleep with you just because you are famous. In fact, it's worse. They begin to see you as a dollar sign. They no longer give you flirtatious signs and you, in turn must give them a sign of obedience. You see the painting behind me?
Motions to a large scale, full wall, painting of ancient heiroglyphics with paintings of literal skeletons in them.
...I made that when I was at the fall of my time as an artist.
Sketchy: Let it be known though, that he never truly fell...He only aspired to rise in other fasions such as this museum, or collecting in general.
6: I must say, Sketch, you have away with words...but anyway. The point is I painted it when I felt alone. I was single and mad at the world. the world stopped appreciating what I had to offer. In the end I decided to send the world a message (points to painting) This message was, in a sense, a declaration of what it meant know me.
H: I guess I understand
6: Hm, how so?
H: Well...the heiroglyphics represent the ancient viewpoint you once had: fame leads to sex. But the detailing of the true skeletal form dictates that the truth is fame leads to death. In short, the downfall of those far-reaching 15 minutes we clamour for...
6: ..Chuckles Interesting analysis. You sound very learned and studious...but foolish and thickheaded. If you knew anything about my organization, you would understand that the truth is eveidently in front of you. After the girls started taking advantage of me, I did it to them as well. They took for granted that i would not retaliate. That I would not take my pound of flesh. So, What I would do is have sex with them...
Insert sex scenes of gratuitous orgies, threesomes, and rough, rough sex.
...while I pleasured their body, I focused on the task afterwards. To spare you the details of what I would do, I will simply say that the painting behind me is made of ...at least three women, and maybe one man. So, before you go into business with me, or any of my associates you must know one thing. If you fuck with me, I will fuck with the living body you came in here with. And that is the direct approach.
A brief moment for reflection...and Heretic and the Saudi ARabian to shit their pants a little. Including Clinks63, who is in the ventilation shaft just above the boardroom.
6: So...proceed.
H: Ah. Ok. Uh..Clears his throat Before I begin. How many jewels do you have in your collection?
6: Eight, two in house and others abroad on rotation in other museums and galleries.
H: How many have the chance to give you power beyond anything you're dreamed?
6: I don't follow.
H: Well, let me explain, you see, in the event that somebody tried to steal this piece of
As the conversation continues, just above the scene the camera stays on the group as we move up to the ceiling, eventually going into the shaft and seeing CLinks63 taking notes and trying hard to hear the conversation going on down there.
Clinks63: ...Interesting...power beyond power...ability to give anyone sexual prowess...does not point north...glows when turned on...I wonder what he means by that? I sure hope it's turned on by a button. I'd hate to turn on a jewel sexually...would I?...
Suddenly he gets a phone call. The phone vibrates softly as he takes it out of his pocket.
63: Clinks here...
-
:clap:
But lonestar got out of retirement in scene 11 ;)
But maybe it's a flashback.
Or, you know, quantum or something.
-
Oh shit, you're right.
Well, it's scenes 16-18 now.
-
Also: Character Actors:
THED6:
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/62/Steve_Valentine.jpg/220px-Steve_Valentine.jpg)
Steve Valentine
Sketchy:
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/70/Andrew_Lincoln_2012.jpg/220px-Andrew_Lincoln_2012.jpg)
Andrew Lincoln
Heretic:
(https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dc99SIx8rTU/T-kAsJVbrmI/AAAAAAAADLM/F91EqD4o-CM/s320/mgg2.jpg)
Mathew Gray Gubler
Heretic:
-
Btw we need a death scene. For who though?
Me? I only have a smallish cameo appearance anyway. :jets:
So you're Meg Griffin?!
-
Btw we need a death scene. For who though?
Me? I only have a smallish cameo appearance anyway. :jets:
Hefdaddy can die and come back three scenes later.
Hef: What? Who said I died? Are you suggesting I have clones of me? Don't be stupid, I don't have clones. Definitely not. I don't have clones, especially not in my basement. That's the last place I'd have them. Shit. They're on to me.
-
:lol
I really need to write a scene when I have some time. I haven't written screen stuff since college.
-
This is how I envision a DTF movie scene.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3MylWnK-Iw
-
This is how I envision a DTF movie scene.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3MylWnK-Iw
Who made my day? You did. :rollin
Can I be one of the midgets?
-
This is how I envision a DTF movie scene.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3MylWnK-Iw
"It's good to be the king" ;D
Love that movie.
-
New "casting"...
The part of Chino will be played by this guy.
(https://cdn.racerxonline.com/8922_full_body_cast.jpg)
-
:omg: Breaking news....Old Dio footage will be spliced in to play the role of Nicky Spanjaards! It will be dubbed by the voice of Christian Bale.
(https://www.accesshollywood.com/content/images/i/articles/32/32406/header_120067.jpg)
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:omg: Breaking news....Old Dio footage will be spliced in to play the role of Nicky Spanjaards! It will be dubbed by the voice of Christian Bale.
(https://www.accesshollywood.com/content/images/i/articles/32/32406/header_120067.jpg)
:rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
You just made my day.
-
Oh DTF you are awesome, catching up on this thread has been brilliant :heart
-
:omg: Breaking news....Old Dio footage will be spliced in to play the role of Nicky Spanjaards! It will be dubbed by the voice of Christian Bale.
(https://www.accesshollywood.com/content/images/i/articles/32/32406/header_120067.jpg)
This makes up for no one casting me.
Like I said, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCVR_ajL_Eo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCVR_ajL_Eo)
-
Tick, too damn funny!! :lol
Now playing the role of DTVT, Dennis Blunden of Head Of The Class!
(https://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss272/kingshmegland/DTVT_zpsbd196ef7.jpg)
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So you're Meg Griffin?!
Um... whatever gave you THAT idea? :jets:
This is how I envision a DTF movie scene.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3MylWnK-Iw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3MylWnK-Iw)
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That movie rocks! :floydapproves:
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Like I said, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCVR_ajL_Eo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCVR_ajL_Eo)
Careful what you ask for my friend.
(https://filebox.vt.edu/users/mrouser/nerdsapprove.JPG)
Reminded me of ...
(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-C-jUjjkKHQg/UIQwEWMri2I/AAAAAAAAABU/GtrpEjOyqAg/w497-h373/iphfyi.jpg)
Now, if Zydar could 'shop an Opeth tooque on Mr. Griffin, we'd be in business.
-
:corn
-
(https://i.imgur.com/VPhpE.jpg)
-
Seamless......
-
:lol
-
Yeah.
-
Knew I could count on ya!
-
Seamless......
:lol
-
:lol
-
:tup
-
Tick played by Shawn Astin
(https://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f72/rushgoober5/rushgoober2/frodoandtick.jpg)
-
Didn't anyone think to translate Blob's Japanese movie title that he quoted in the first post but me? :lol
Forget about movies about midgets and wizards, the hit movie of 2013 is going to be DTF: The Movie, a US remake of the Japanese movie "ドリーム·シアター·フォーラムは、後であなたを雌雄鑑別とあなたの女性パンティベーコン内部触手モンスターレイプ!", based on the best-selling Japanese erotic thriller novel of the same name.
Translated:
"Dream Theater Forum, you the sexing and your women panty bacon inside tentacle monster rape later!"
:lol