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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: zepp-head on September 21, 2012, 09:10:41 PM
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Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky and I went out for a drink?
He drove us to a vacant lot where we waited for a year and a half until sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us! P.J. McGinty's.
We ordered a single shot and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky shouted over the roar of the flames "ALWAYS LEAVE THINGS THE WAY YOU FOUND THEM!"
Best damn salesman in the office.
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BILL BRASKY!
Stands 7"8 340 pounds.
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His family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.
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Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky forced me to wear a woman's bikini? Well anyway, Brasky tears off my clothes and forces me to wear this skimpy bikini. For the next three months I had to conduct my business wearing only a woman's bathing suit. I would cry from shame and question my manhood daily, but Ill be damned if at the end of the quarter my sales hadn't tripled.
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One time Brasky came over for breakfast and he had a tall glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. He passed out, and eight months later he woke up, rubbed his eyes and said "all and all I prefer gin".
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Are you guys talking about Bill Brasky?
I KNOW Bill Brasky!
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HE ONCE BREASTFED AN INJURED FLAMINGO BACK TO HEALTH
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AND I'D LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE!
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HE HATED MEXICANS
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And he was half-Mexican!
And he hated irony.
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All the Yes album covers are Brasky family photos.
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His poop is considered currency in Argentina.
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They use his foreskin as a tarp at Yankee Stadium!
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I once saw him scissor kick Angela Lansbury.
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He had 9 sons, all boys.
Sired a baseball team. An orchestra if you count the bastards.
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Brasky got his wife pregnant, and she gave birth to a delicious sixteen ounce steak. The afterbirth was sautéed mushrooms.
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Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a rendition of The King and I? Well before the show, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast and slowly devours them in front of the audience for two hours. The play got pretty good reviews.
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Did you know that he once took a bubble bath with Bruce Jenner?
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He framed Roger Rabbit.
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Little known fact: I've been mistaken for Bill Brasky while on vacation.
Not once but twice.
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If you drop a phonograph needle on his left nipple it plays the Beach Boys' "Pet Sounds".
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I've been to his parties! He hooks you up with a car-wash! It's sweet!
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The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky, except for the part about planting apple trees and not raping men.
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That Bill Brasky is one sonuvabitch!
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To Brasky!
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He had a four day heart attack. A day for each chamber.
During the autopsy they said his heart was like a basketball filled with ricotta cheese.
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He taught me how to love a woman - and how to scold a child.
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He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
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He made love to all of our wives - and we loved him for it.
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Remember Brasky's bachelor party? He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper inside.
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I ever tell you about the time Brasky and I went camping? Well me and Brasky are in the back of a truck and he grabs this deer by the antlers and says "My name is Bill Brasky, say it!", and he squeezed the deer in such a way that it made a sound...billbrasky..
Well it wasn't exactly that, but it was pretty good for a deer.