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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: rumborak on August 19, 2012, 04:22:13 PM
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Holy shit.
https://www.jckonline.com/2011/09/02/average-engagement-ring-costs-5200-says-survey-knot
Amazing how society can reel people into spending money on stuff.
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Yeah. It is out of control.
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Yeah, it's pretty silly IMO
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I spent 1800. It was emerald (what she wanted) and it was quite beautiful if I might say so myself.
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Yeah, ours was short of $2000, largely even that high because we preferred platinum (with sapphires), and we thought that was a splurge. We cut corners almost everywhere else with the wedding, but with her rings we dished out some money for higher quality metal since we figured they were the everyday tokens. However, my ring was only $200, since I didn't want a precious metal. Guess I'll lose my finger if they ever have to cut it off, though.
Ha, that average is apparently down $600 from 2008, too.
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I've never understood the fascination some gals have with a rock the size of Gibraltar, or something that's so spendy your dude has to almost permanently pawn his nuts to pay it off.
For me, it's not the ring itself - it's the sentiment behind it. I'm perfectly fine with an unembellished, plain sterling silver or white gold band.
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The thing I don't get is, I mean this ring will be worn for about a year and then is useless, right? I could understand spending a good chunk on a wedding ring that you're gonna wear for the rest of your life, but for a one-year item that has almost zero resale value it's ridiculous to drop 5k.
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No, sometimes both are worn together, particularly for special events. You can even buy matched sets right from the start, which can get melded together after the wedding.
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Well, that's pretty fucking ridiculous.
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For me, it's not the ring itself - it's the sentiment behind it. I'm perfectly fine with an unembellished, plain sterling silver or white gold band.
Seriously, avoid the silver, it's a real pain for an everyday ring from all I've heard. The white gold is pretty high maintenance as I understand it, too. I viewed the process as going for the 'least care' metal, which ended up being platinum(pricey) for her and titanium(cheap) for me. They're both far more durable, and don't require as often of checkups. For the diamond setting make sure you have platinum prongs instead of gold or silver. Gold rings often come with platinum prongs because the gold just isn't strong enough to withstand the wear and tear from years of use, so it isn't hard to find that option.
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hahahaha
society :lol
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For me, it's not the ring itself - it's the sentiment behind it. I'm perfectly fine with an unembellished, plain sterling silver or white gold band.
Seriously, avoid the silver, it's a real pain for an everyday ring from all I've heard. The white gold is pretty high maintenance as I understand it, too. I viewed the process as going for the 'least care' metal, which ended up being platinum(pricey) for her and titanium(cheap) for me. They're both far more durable, and don't require as often of checkups. For the diamond setting make sure you have platinum prongs instead of gold or silver. Gold rings often come with platinum prongs because the gold just isn't strong enough to withstand the wear and tear from years of use, so it isn't hard to find that option.
Um... I'd said PLAIN band. No stone. I couldn't care less about ANY kind of a rock, be it a diamond or anything else.
I've also worn enough silver in my lifetime that I know how high maintenance it is. Don't care. I'm a silver gal, through and through.
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Wow. I spent under $1,000 (knew the guy + coupons + cash speaks). It was valued at 2,500, which is insane anyway
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Um... I'd said PLAIN band. No stone. I couldn't care less about ANY kind of a rock, be it a diamond or anything else.
I've also worn enough silver in my lifetime that I know how high maintenance it is. Don't care. I'm a silver gal, through and through.
I got it, but my advice stands for anyone getting a diamond setting.
Wow. I spent under $1,000 (knew the guy + coupons + cash speaks). It was valued at 2,500, which is insane anyway
I always wondered about this. My wife's rings are both valued way above what we payed, as are some of our friend's who we've talked to. Does anyone actually buy these things near their supposed value?
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Duh, sorry. :facepalm:
And I do realize that I am an aberration. I'm okay with that. :)
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I'm pretty sure most men would be ok with that as well.
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:)
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Gotta love a country where couples are expected to begin their marriages by incurring crippling debt.
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Gotta love a country where couples are expected to begin their marriages by incurring crippling debt.
I know, right?
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5200 is the going rate?! My car's not worth half of that. I could get her a nice engagement car.....my imaginary girlfriend....
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The cost of the ring aint nothing compared to the cost of raising the eventually produced child from birth to age 18:
https://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2012/06/14/cost-to-raise-a-child-around-300000-not-including-college/
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Um... I'd said PLAIN band. No stone. I couldn't care less about ANY kind of a rock, be it a diamond or anything else.
I've also worn enough silver in my lifetime that I know how high maintenance it is. Don't care. I'm a silver gal, through and through.
I got it, but my advice stands for anyone getting a diamond setting.
Wow. I spent under $1,000 (knew the guy + coupons + cash speaks). It was valued at 2,500, which is insane anyway
I always wondered about this. My wife's rings are both valued way above what we payed, as are some of our friend's who we've talked to. Does anyone actually buy these things near their supposed value?
I know a few people who have purchased rings for full retail.
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5200 is the going rate?! My car's not worth half of that. I could get her a nice engagement car.....my imaginary girlfriend....
:lol
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The thing I don't get is, I mean this ring will be worn for about a year and then is useless, right? I could understand spending a good chunk on a wedding ring that you're gonna wear for the rest of your life, but for a one-year item that has almost zero resale value it's ridiculous to drop 5k.
In America these days the engagement ring is usually the large ring that is worn forever. There is sometimes a small wedding band that is added and welded on once they're married. But it's not a ring in general that is only worn until the wedding, it's worn forever.
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Gotta love a country where couples are expected to begin their marriages by incurring crippling debt.
I know, right?
Did anyone here actually go in debt for their rings and wedding? I guess I'm not surprised that happens, but isn't it pretty normal to plan and budget for these things? My wife and I decided to get married, then started setting aside money for things like the rings. The actual proposal came probably 8 months after we decided to get married, more than enough time to save the money for it. We didn't make much money at the time and it was not hard to do everything with the wedding within our means, which was even on top of all the high expenses for immigration.
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I paid cash for my wife's engagement and wedding rings (about $5500 total) and we paid cash (including money given by parents) for the ceremony, reception and honeymoon. Granted, not everyone has that kind of cash laying around, but they should spend what they can afford.
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Hmph - I bought my own engagement ring. It's a silver band, Celtic knot style.
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Does it matter who pays? :lol Once we decided to get married we started viewing our finances jointly.
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It doesn't REALLY matter IMO. Not so much with the joint finances though, but that's just me.
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My mom gave me her engagement ring to give my girlfriend. It's very small, but it has meaning. And thankfully my fiance does not care about a big diamond.
It was funny, though, how the minute people found out we were engaged they became "gollums" obsessed over seeing the ring. Especially the woman :P
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Well, it is the only way to truly express how much you care about someone. Or something. Money.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6p60gHuyu8
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The thing I don't get is, I mean this ring will be worn for about a year and then is useless, right? I could understand spending a good chunk on a wedding ring that you're gonna wear for the rest of your life, but for a one-year item that has almost zero resale value it's ridiculous to drop 5k.
In America these days the engagement ring is usually the large ring that is worn forever. There is sometimes a small wedding band that is added and welded on once they're married. But it's not a ring in general that is only worn until the wedding, it's worn forever.
Are there places they are only worn until the wedding? I would have seriously dropped much less if that was the case with my wife. Now she wears both (we had the bands designed so they match) but they are not welded together. I don't recall the total but together they were less than $5,000.
My annoyance is when her friends share with her what their rings cost. They don't do it to show off their husbands' wealth, or maybe they do, but I think that is one of those things that doesn't need to be shared with everyone. She told me once what someone else paid (much more than me), not to make me feel bad, more out of astonishment. I told her not to do that again.
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The thing I don't get is, I mean this ring will be worn for about a year and then is useless, right? I could understand spending a good chunk on a wedding ring that you're gonna wear for the rest of your life, but for a one-year item that has almost zero resale value it's ridiculous to drop 5k.
I don't really know much about engagement ring customs, but I was never under the impression that engagement rings were only worn during the engagement then not after the wedding. I thought it was just the standard thing that people were given a ring like that for the engagement and just wore it indefinitely after that. At least, that's what I thought was the norm here in the UK and in the USA (judging from TV etc.) - I know there are a lot of different engagement / wedding ring customs throughout the world.
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The engagement I chose for the next girl (whoever she is) is about 10,000 dollars but so worth it.
10 minutes after initially putting it on, it bonds with the skin, making it impossible to take off. It is then linked wirelessly to a remote control I will keep on me. Anytime my fiance/wife does something of which I do not approve, I push a button which makes her feel the pain of a super nova inside of her.
You guys can get it at www.makethecuntsuffer.com
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Customs are definitely quite different around the globe. Women in Europe wear rings on the opposite hand than in the US, which to this day makes it confusing as fuck.
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Fuck the 2 month salary rule. I'm not dishing $10k+ for a ring on principle. I might go with the two week rule. Check that, the two box of cracker jack rule.
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I don't understand what the obsession is with engagement rings- in my opinion they are such a waste of money...but I guess to each his own, right?
For the few serious boyfriends that I have had, whenever the subject of rings came up, I told them that I'd be really friggen mad if they spent that much money on a ring. And certainly not that I wouldn't appreciate it...it's just that...well for one thing I'm not really much into "blingy" jewelry...I have a ton of gold jewelry with various gemstones that my parents have given me over the years that I literally NEVER wear.
I'd much rather you get a $50 silver piece from the renaissance faire or something (way more my style) and let us take that extra $4950 and do one of two things: 1) Save it for...whatever, or 2) Have the most bitchin' European honeymoon possible.
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You guys can get it at www.makethecuntsuffer.com
One day, a fetish porn site will be opened at that domain.
On that day, I will report this post.
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It'll certainly be amusing when you realize you left the link in your quote and get yourself banned, too.
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I don't understand what the obsession is with engagement rings- in my opinion they are such a waste of money...but I guess to each his own, right?
For the few serious boyfriends that I have had, whenever the subject of rings came up, I told them that I'd be really friggen mad if they spent that much money on a ring. And certainly not that I wouldn't appreciate it...it's just that...well for one thing I'm not really much into "blingy" jewelry...I have a ton of gold jewelry with various gemstones that my parents have given me over the years that I literally NEVER wear.
I'd much rather you get a $50 silver piece from the renaissance faire or something (way more my style) and let us take that extra $4950 and do one of two things: 1) Save it for...whatever, or 2) Have the most bitchin' European honeymoon possible.
Damn skippy, girl. :clap:
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I don't understand what the obsession is with engagement rings- in my opinion they are such a waste of money...but I guess to each his own, right?
For the few serious boyfriends that I have had, whenever the subject of rings came up, I told them that I'd be really friggen mad if they spent that much money on a ring. And certainly not that I wouldn't appreciate it...it's just that...well for one thing I'm not really much into "blingy" jewelry...I have a ton of gold jewelry with various gemstones that my parents have given me over the years that I literally NEVER wear.
I'd much rather you get a $50 silver piece from the renaissance faire or something (way more my style) and let us take that extra $4950 and do one of two things: 1) Save it for...whatever, or 2) Have the most bitchin' European honeymoon possible.
Marry me!
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I bought my wife's engagement ring for around $600.00. I was still in college at the time, and she was ecstatic with it.
Yes, she still wears it, along with her wedding band. We didn't go nuts with those either.
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All this talk about the wildly huge range of prices and attitudes regarding those prices makes me REALLY hope that the future Mrs. _floyd shares my attitude that the price of the ring should have zero bearing over the purchase and also that it shouldn't be a penny more than what I can comfortably afford. I'd really hate to see something so bogusly influenced and perpetuated by pretentious tradition become a point of contention in a serious relationship for me.
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Be careful what you wish for, at that time you might be able to afford more than you think, and with price thrown out the window you also lose a budget cap as protection. As I have vouched, choosing platinum for its strength and limited care certainly attacks the wallet.
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Nonsense. I'll relax my standards and propose with an onion ring like Homer did with Marge.
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Even more stupid. Mrs. C. watches shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" and both of us sit there aghast sometimes at the prices people will pay for a wedding dress. We saw one the other day where a chick had decided on a $34,000 wedding dress. If you pay that much money for a wedding dress, then you are a self-absorbed attention whore.
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My wife bought her wedding dress for $275.00 at a consignment shop. Smart girl.
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The thing I don't get is, I mean this ring will be worn for about a year and then is useless, right? I could understand spending a good chunk on a wedding ring that you're gonna wear for the rest of your life, but for a one-year item that has almost zero resale value it's ridiculous to drop 5k.
Er, my wife still wears her engagement ring and we've been married since 2000. As far as the resale value goes, I'm not even sure why that would be a consideration when you are buying something for the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with? It certainly wasn't a consideration for me.
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My wife bought her wedding dress for $275.00 at a consignment shop. Smart girl.
My wife's was along those lines as well.
We figured, no reason to throw money we can't afford on stuff that will only be used once. We went light on flowers and everything. That enabled us to be on a little bit better footing when we got back from the honeymoon.
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Same here. We had to pay for everything ourselves, pretty much, so it was important to be frugal. The only area I regret skimping was on the photographer. It would have been worth it to pay a bit more for better quality and control over the negatives since photos are something you keep around forever and actually go out of your way to look at every now and then.
Somewhat focused on the original point about the ring, I'll take a moment to also get up on a soapbox that my wife and I share on the subject in general: The tendency to go overboard and go into debt on things like the ring and the wedding is a symptom of a bigger problem that is too often overlooked, which is placing more emphasis on having an awesome wedding than on having an awesome marriage. I find it silly and sad that you have to study and prepare much more to get a driver's license than a marriage license. /rant
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A few things:
1) Diamonds value doesn't drop to zero resale value after a year. They appreciate over time. But that isn't why you buy them.
2) If you buy a diamond, then have it appraised (for insurance perhaps), the appraised value is likely much more than what you would get for it if you tried to sell it (which is its true value).
3) If you don't feel a ring is a good place to spend your money, that is your perfectly valid opinion. I am sure that everyone has things/activities they spend money on that others would look at as silly. Diamonds and jewelry aren't for everyone, and I would never recommend going into debt for a ring, or a wedding.
4) I spent 5k on the diamond alone (not including setting or wedding band). It was an appropriate amount considering my financial situation. My wife will likely hand it down as an heirloom years from now. It will be a family treasure.
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I've always heard diamonds are terrible investments, due to the market situation.
On the wedding dress, if you aren't planning on keeping it you can get good resale. We didn't go that high on my wife's, but I think it was $550 with a resell around $400 (or maybe $450 and $300). We kept it for about 5 months of use, two weddings (US/China) and pictures, so $150 seemed like a great price for that period.
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The tendency to go overboard and go into debt on things like the ring and the wedding is a symptom of a bigger problem that is too often overlooked, which is placing more emphasis on having an awesome wedding than on having an awesome marriage. I find it silly and sad that you have to study and prepare much more to get a driver's license than a marriage license. /rant
(https://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i238/hefdaddy42/funny/seinfeld-clapping-gif.gif)
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I've always heard diamonds are terrible investments, due to the market situation.
https://www.ajediam.com/images/site/Historical_diamond_prices_1960_2010_Source_Ajediam.jpg (https://www.ajediam.com/images/site/Historical_diamond_prices_1960_2010_Source_Ajediam.jpg)
(https://www.ajediam.com/images/site/Historical_diamond_prices_1960_2010_Source_Ajediam.jpg)
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Somewhat focused on the original point about the ring, I'll take a moment to also get up on a soapbox that my wife and I share on the subject in general: The tendency to go overboard and go into debt on things like the ring and the wedding is a symptom of a bigger problem that is too often overlooked, which is placing more emphasis on having an awesome wedding than on having an awesome marriage. I find it silly and sad that you have to study and prepare much more to get a driver's license than a marriage license. /rant
Exactly. I never noticed it was this big of a problem until I got engaged recently. And, just because two people are on the same page doesn't mean that it's going to be smooth sailing.
I mean, the ring I gave my fiance was pretty humble, which was fine, because neither of us care about that stuff, and neither does my family at all (my brother is married, and I'm not even sure he and his wife have wedding bands!). But, up until and after the engagement, a large portion of (mostly) her friends became, as I stated above, "gollum-like". The pressure I sense from other women to see my fiance's ring-- probably out of the need to validate for their own rings-- seemed immense. The best part was her getting text-messages from people who never even talk to her asking to see it. I guess everyone needs to know what everyone else has, because that's how you measure true value, right?
Now that the wedding is being planned, it's the same thing. We'd be happy with something humble. But, around every corner, you can bet their are friends and family telling us how "it's gotta be". For her, it's a matter of her friends telling her that it's her day to make all her dreams come true (or something like that). For me, it's a matter of me being told "what she deserves". Again, my brother forwent all of this. I believe he was married in a his wife's kitchen, actually :lol
Though, I guess a couple isn't really any good if they can't refrain from bowing down to pressures from friends and family to go their own way instead. So, a lot of times, I think my brother had the right of it. Don't let any friends and family get what they want, and disappoint everyone so they're forced to be happy with whatever you give them :D
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I think there's probably plenty of room for a happy medium in there somewhere.
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I think there's probably plenty of room for a happy medium in there somewhere.
Exactly. Make sound and informed decisions....just like you should do with every other part of your life.
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Yeah, true. And we are functioning along those lines, though most of the planning hasn't started yet.
I mean, I admire my brother's attitude, but he also pissed off half the family by not inviting them, so whatever we do will at least have to be big enough to make up for that.
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I've always heard diamonds are terrible investments, due to the market situation.
https://www.ajediam.com/images/site/Historical_diamond_prices_1960_2010_Source_Ajediam.jpg (https://www.ajediam.com/images/site/Historical_diamond_prices_1960_2010_Source_Ajediam.jpg)
(https://www.ajediam.com/images/site/Historical_diamond_prices_1960_2010_Source_Ajediam.jpg)
Yeah, that's purchase price though, right? The important thing is the sell price. And from what I hear you only get a fraction of the purchase price back.
rumborak
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I spent a little under $2000 on my wife's engagement ring, which I classify as a "shit load" of money. Can't believe that was less than half of what the average guy spends, good Christ. That is an alarming bit of information.
Anyway, she loves the ring and wears it with her wedding band, which is great. But is it an idiotic and pointless tradition? Absolutely yes.
-J
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Talked to a coworker today about that, he just commented "oh yeah, I'm well beyond that figure". Crazy.
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It's crazy if you go into debt for it, yeah, but if you have the money and you want to spend it, there's nothing crazy about it.
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Yeah, that's purchase price though, right? The important thing is the sell price. And from what I hear you only get a fraction of the purchase price back.
rumborak
I was unaware that there was a huge disparity in the diamond market....any sources that can show this?
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My impression was that it was frowned upon as an investment because if the manufactured market collapsed they could irrevocably lose almost all value.
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Yeah, that's purchase price though, right? The important thing is the sell price. And from what I hear you only get a fraction of the purchase price back.
rumborak
I was unaware that there was a huge disparity in the diamond market....any sources that can show this?
From my understanding it's a combination of heavily inflated retail values due to almost monopoly status of de Beers, and the social stigma of buying a previously owned ring. So, if you buy a ring you should consider it spent money that you will never recoup.
rumborak
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Resale value on pretty much ANY jewelry is never going to be very good. I'd say in most cases you'll be lucky to get ~30% of what you initially paid.
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I spent 1k on the one for Mrs. Wolves, guy worked with me on it for sure - had known him previously - it's valued quite a bit higher than what I purchased it for.
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Gotta love a country where couples are expected to begin their marriages by incurring crippling debt.
Same with weddings. It's amazing the weddings I've been to that easily cost >30 or 40k, then the couple mortgages the most expensive house they can afford, and are living paycheck to paycheck to pay for all that plus their 2 financed cars. Then we hear about the high cost of living "these days". Anecdotally speaking, this is the norm, since I get chastized and called cheap when I talk like this in front of most people.
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Nonsense. I'll relax my standards and propose with an onion ring like Homer did with Marge.
I'd take a Funyun over a big gaudy ring any day of the week. :lol
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It was funny, though, how the minute people found out we were engaged they became "gollums" obsessed over seeing the ring. Especially the woman :P
That is pathetic.
I paid 1,000 for my wife's ring in 94. It was appraised at 2,000. My wife still absolutely loves her ring 18 years later. Money can't buy a good marriage.
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It was funny, though, how the minute people found out we were engaged they became "gollums" obsessed over seeing the ring. Especially the woman :P
That is pathetic.
I paid 1,000 for my wife's ring in 94. It was appraised at 2,000. My wife still absolutely loves her ring 18 years later. Money can't buy a good marriage.
I am pretty sure not one single person has equated the price of the ring to the quality of the marriage.
Also, if we want to be honest here, I doubt a good woman would tell their husband they didn't like their ring.
I think the golf shirt my wife gave me is ugly. I say I love it and make sure to wear it once a month.
You think your wife is going to say she would have much rather had a different cut or setting?
The point is it doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with the quality of a marriage, or the size of ones love.
It is a gift of love, and as such, it shouldn't be judged on its size/value....big or small.
So....no....it isn't pathetic.
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Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.
I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
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I am pretty sure not one single person has equated the price of the ring to the quality of the marriage.
Nobody who has posted here has. But sadly, there are MANY misguided souls out there that do.
I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
:lol Glad I didn't mention the "special deal" I got then. But in my case, my mom sells diamonds for a living, and I KNOW she charged me below retail for it.
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I am pretty sure not one single person has equated the price of the ring to the quality of the marriage.
Nobody who has posted here has. But sadly, there are MANY misguided souls out there that do.
I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
:lol Glad I didn't mention the "special deal" I got then. But in my case, my mom sells diamonds for a living, and I KNOW she charged me below retail for it.
I dont think many people equate the quality of the ring will equate to a quality marriage. I think too many people think that: marriage will miraculously fix issues in the relationship; and/or the marriage will be great just because, and not require a lot of work. I dont think many factor in the price of a ring or wedding when thinking of a marriages future success.
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It was funny, though, how the minute people found out we were engaged they became "gollums" obsessed over seeing the ring. Especially the woman :P
That is pathetic.
I paid 1,000 for my wife's ring in 94. It was appraised at 2,000. My wife still absolutely loves her ring 18 years later. Money can't buy a good marriage.
I am pretty sure not one single person has equated the price of the ring to the quality of the marriage.
Also, if we want to be honest here, I doubt a good woman would tell their husband they didn't like their ring.
I think the golf shirt my wife gave me is ugly. I say I love it and make sure to wear it once a month.
You think your wife is going to say she would have much rather had a different cut or setting?
The point is it doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with the quality of a marriage, or the size of ones love.
It is a gift of love, and as such, it shouldn't be judged on its size/value....big or small.
So....no....it isn't pathetic.
Relax Eric, please!
Sentence 1 pertained to the sentence I quoted.
Sentence 2 pertained to my own personal experience. The last sentence is just a statement about those who marry for monetary possessions. Some do, and that was all I was pointing out.
Easy does it. This isn't politics. Do not go on the attack. Geez.
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Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.
I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
Since your conclusions are often wrong, we can all rest easy. :lol
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Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.
I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
I brought that point up, already, asking if anyone actually paid close to their appraisal value. Look back, someone pointed out they had friends that at least did. The appraisal value is just a markup, I guess it's that high partly to make people not feel cheated in the event they really got ripped off. I don't believe in the deal aspect of it, it's just shopping, you're looking for the best price you can get, if you don't shop around you probably aren't getting it no matter what you're told.
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It was funny, though, how the minute people found out we were engaged they became "gollums" obsessed over seeing the ring. Especially the woman :P
That is pathetic.
I paid 1,000 for my wife's ring in 94. It was appraised at 2,000. My wife still absolutely loves her ring 18 years later. Money can't buy a good marriage.
I am pretty sure not one single person has equated the price of the ring to the quality of the marriage.
Also, if we want to be honest here, I doubt a good woman would tell their husband they didn't like their ring.
I think the golf shirt my wife gave me is ugly. I say I love it and make sure to wear it once a month.
You think your wife is going to say she would have much rather had a different cut or setting?
The point is it doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with the quality of a marriage, or the size of ones love.
It is a gift of love, and as such, it shouldn't be judged on its size/value....big or small.
So....no....it isn't pathetic.
Relax Eric, please!
Sentence 1 pertained to the sentence I quoted.
Sentence 2 pertained to my own personal experience. The last sentence is just a statement about those who marry for monetary possessions. Some do, and that was all I was pointing out.
Easy does it. This isn't politics. Do not go on the attack. Geez.
Im not sure why you would characterize my response as an attack. Perhaps it is because you are attacked a lot on this forum? Not sure. My response was simply expressing my point of view in response to yours.
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Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.
I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
Since your conclusions are often wrong, we can all rest easy. :lol
Ooh, hidden double negative in the post. Tricky!
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Gotta love a country where couples are expected to begin their marriages by incurring crippling debt.
Same with weddings. It's amazing the weddings I've been to that easily cost >30 or 40k, then the couple mortgages the most expensive house they can afford, and are living paycheck to paycheck to pay for all that plus their 2 financed cars. Then we hear about the high cost of living "these days". Anecdotally speaking, this is the norm, since I get chastized and called cheap when I talk like this in front of most people.
Yeah, and even a "cheap" wedding still runs north of 5k correct? I've never been married, so I'll ask you guys....those who have had weddings.....was it worth it? I think I'd rather elope and spend the extra money on the honeymoon.
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We didn't spend anywhere near $5,000 on our wedding, and it was still memorable, and everyone had a great time.
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I am recently engaged and I spent 5200 on the ring and wedding band. A bit less than the "three months salary" standardand significantly less than my sisters and my mothers , but I don't think I could have spent more and been happier. The ring is perfect and I felt it was a perfect price.
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We didn't spend anywhere near $5,000 on our wedding, and it was still memorable, and everyone had a great time.
Same with us, except for the rings, the wedding, reception, and rehearsal topped out well below $5000 combined. We still get told by many of our guests how much they loved how we did our wedding. It was very easy to come up with a memorable wedding without all the costs. I think some people really hurt themselves by feeling they have so many people they have to invite.
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I didn't pay for my wedding....the in-laws did. They planned the whole thing (it was in Boston, and we were living in Florida). They paid well over $60,000.
It was at Braeburn Country Club in Newton, MA. https://www.braeburngolf.com/club/scripts/public/public.asp?GRP=15474&NS=PUBLIC (https://www.braeburngolf.com/club/scripts/public/public.asp?GRP=15474&NS=PUBLIC)
The dinner was lobster bisque and filet mignon...and open bar with all top shelf. Very nice.
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I'd rather take a couple of witnesses to the JP and spend the money we would've spent on the wedding on a MOTHER of an after party.
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I think it's pretty normal that the majority of the cost IS the after party. You can get married in picturesque places for very little money, cost cutting on the actual wedding ceremony without otherwise degrading it is incredibly easy.
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I think it's pretty normal that the majority of the cost IS the after party. You can get married in picturesque places for very little money, cost cutting on the actual wedding ceremony without otherwise degrading it is incredibly easy.
Absolutely. The church wedding didn't cost anything. The 60k was all for the reception.
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We did a nice compromise to have free alcohol without the expensive open bar policy. The restaurant we had our reception at got two quarter barrels of local craft beer and 6 bottles of wine of our choosing. That was all free to our guests, but anything else they had to pay for.
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I didn't pay for my wedding....the in-laws did. They planned the whole thing (it was in Boston, and we were living in Florida). They paid well over $60,000.
It was at Braeburn Country Club in Newton, MA. https://www.braeburngolf.com/club/scripts/public/public.asp?GRP=15474&NS=PUBLIC (https://www.braeburngolf.com/club/scripts/public/public.asp?GRP=15474&NS=PUBLIC)
The dinner was lobster bisque and filet mignon...and open bar with all top shelf. Very nice.
60 k??? Wow!!! :omg:
That must have been the fashizzle!
My in laws spent 10 grand on mine and it was a waterfront restaurant with an outdoor patio and open bar. Your in laws are pretty well off I guess, eh?
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Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.
I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
I was thinking the same right when I posted that. I have a hard time thinking that somehow the price I got was "special" whenever everyone seems to get their price "special" as well.
I will say this, and I had to learn this the hard way, no real advice from anyone before I went shopping - when you tell a dealer your budget, you can almost always expect them to go on the high end and go about 100 dollars over it.
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Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.
I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
I bought some diamond earrings for my girlfriend last year, and the very place that sold them to me appraised them for 25% more than I just paid for them. I was like ??? Something was funny there, so I didnt pay much attention to the appraised value. I'm sure its all part of salesmanship.
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I am recently engaged and I spent 5200 on the ring and wedding band. A bit less than the "three months salary" standardand significantly less than my sisters and my mothers , but I don't think I could have spent more and been happier. The ring is perfect and I felt it was a perfect price.
Wait...when did this become "three months salary"? I remember the advertisements when I was in HS talking about two months salary. When will the diamond industry try to make it four months salary?
(https://fc07.deviantart.net/fs46/f/2009/204/c/2/Screw_you_guys_I__m_going_home_by_h4X0ry0uL34.jpg)
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Yeah, and even a "cheap" wedding still runs north of 5k correct? I've never been married, so I'll ask you guys....those who have had weddings.....was it worth it? I think I'd rather elope and spend the extra money on the honeymoon.
I loved our wedding. I think it cost around $12k, but I honestly don't know because I didn't pay for much myself. However, in retrospect, I would have a done a much smaller ceremony and had a smaller, more intimate party afterward.
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The friend of mine who paid way more than 5k was complaining about that. Apparently his mother-in-law is in charge of the invitations, and he was saying he won't know the majority of the people attending the wedding. That just sounds wrong.
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Sounds like it's more an event for her than for them as a couple.
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The friend of mine who paid way more than 5k was complaining about that. Apparently his mother-in-law is in charge of the invitations, and he was saying he won't know the majority of the people attending the wedding. That just sounds wrong.
Parents do that. Adding people you don't remember as a kid. I got the line from my mom, "I have to invite so and so!"
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When the parents are paying for 90% of the wedding, it's pretty hard to tell them that they can't invite their friends.
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I guess, but it's still selfish.
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Yeah. Like, sure you're offering to pay for the wedding, but if you just take over and do it the way you want to you're essentially making it your own party, which entirely defeats the purpose.
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Seriously. There's two major problems (at least):
1. The parents feeling entitled to prioritize their wishes ahead of the couples becuase they're the ones paying. If covering the expenses or a big chunk of it makes you feel entitled to do this, the intent of your gesture is clearly rooted in the wrong place.
2. The parents feeling it's more important to haphazardly navigate the rough seas of their friends' bullshit politics than it is to make it the best wedding possible for the kids.
Edit: Yeah what Sigz said.
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The best advice I think I could ever give anyone is when buying a diamond ring...NEVER, never, never buy it at a jewelry store. Instead, find a diamond broker in your town and buy it there. Jewelry stores typically sell crap to the masses. It's nearly always over priced. Walk into any jewelry store and look up. Track lighting is everyhwere. Track lighting makes everything sparkle. Also, most engagement rings are already in the setting. They do this to hide yellowing in poor stones. If you are going to make the investment, get a nice loose, high quality stone from a broker and have them set it. Go quality over quantity. Get something she can proudly pass on to her grandkids, or great grandkids someday. Don't get sucked into the bullshit jewelry stores dish out.
When I was a young man and was getting engaged for the first time, a friend turned me onto a broker in my town. His office was in a high rise building, with no advertising of any kind, yet he had been in business for over 30 years. I walked in and he gave me a diamond tutorial for about an hour. We walked into a room with track lights overhead. He took a loose stone and placed it in a setting and carefully handed it to me. "Look at this one", he said. "See how it shines?" And it did. Under the light it sparkled like crazy and the ring was gorgeous in the setting. "You like this one?" he asked. "Yes..its beautiful." I answered. He then carefully took it from me and dropped the diamond onto a blank piece of white copy paper. The diamond was nearly as yellow as a crayon, and it was cloudy. He turned off the track lights and it stopped sparkling too. "How about now?" he asked.
Any diamond broker worth his salt should be able to do the same for you. They can save you thousands. My ex wife got a smaller stone than many of her friends, but damnit she and I knew that her stone was a perfect, museum quality diamond. In fact she has since remarried, but plans to offer the stone someday to my sons bride should he every get married.
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Seriously. There's two major problems (at least):
1. The parents feeling entitled to prioritize their wishes ahead of the couples becuase they're the ones paying. If covering the expenses or a big chunk of it makes you feel entitled to do this, the intent of your gesture is clearly rooted in the wrong place.
2. The parents feeling it's more important to haphazardly navigate the rough seas of their friends' bullshit politics than it is to make it the best wedding possible for the kids.
Edit: Yeah what Sigz said.
I just remember back to my high school graduation party where I made some joke about the lack of food the caterers brought which prompted my mom to angrily state "This isn't a party for you. This is a party for me." I normally but have nothing ever bad to say about my mom but it really stuck with me that more often than not when it comes to bigger events, probably moreso with women than men, it's a bigger, show-offy check off a list of life goals for the parents than the people actually involved.
Makes me want to have a celebration more geared towards my close friends than family, as shitty as that sounds.
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Not shitty to me, a great idea, our wedding was primarily good friends. We've been very complimented for it.
Even paying for our own wedding my mom kept telling us people we had to invite. We just told her no. In the end we even had an aunt, who was not yet invited to the wedding, assume she was a guest even for the rehearsal. That was some awkward fights with mom, getting her to confront her sister about it. Luckily, trust me on that, she did not come to the rehearsal, but we eventually did invite the aunts and uncles to the wedding. FYI, about 30 guests total, aunts and uncles were like first alternates. :lol
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Seriously. There's two major problems (at least):
1. The parents feeling entitled to prioritize their wishes ahead of the couples becuase they're the ones paying. If covering the expenses or a big chunk of it makes you feel entitled to do this, the intent of your gesture is clearly rooted in the wrong place.
2. The parents feeling it's more important to haphazardly navigate the rough seas of their friends' bullshit politics than it is to make it the best wedding possible for the kids.
Edit: Yeah what Sigz said.
I just remember back to my high school graduation party where I made some joke about the lack of food the caterers brought which prompted my mom to angrily state "This isn't a party for you. This is a party for me." I normally but have nothing ever bad to say about my mom but it really stuck with me that more often than not when it comes to bigger events, probably moreso with women than men, it's a bigger, show-offy check off a list of life goals for the parents than the people actually involved.
My parents said the same thing about my graduation. And frankly, that really doesn't bother me, primarily because my high school graduation meant fuckall to me - I mean come on, it's high school FFS. But if it was something actually important to me, like a wedding, I'd be pretty fucking pissed if they co-opted it to fulfill whatever their bullshit desires were for it.
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With the high school graduation I think it pays to consider that the students aren't often attending their own party since so many happen at once. Where I grew up it was common for graduates to be hopping around to various parties in packs. That was sort of our party, the specific parties really were more for the parents.
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It seems like it goes both ways. Engagement rings are getting insanely expenses and people are just filing in assuming they should pay 2 months salary for one. Yet more and more people are also finding alternatives. I think that's a good thing. The whole "diamonds and gold" thing is a hollow tradition, and there's a lot of ugliness behind the scenes too.
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If you read the original link you'll see the average cost has actually dropped $600 dollars in the last four years. That suggests the opposite, that people are backing off.
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If you read the original link you'll see the average cost has actually dropped $600 dollars in the last four years. That suggests the opposite, that people are backing off.
The last four years, people havent had as much money to spend.
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Sure, but that doesn't mean you can draw you conclusions about people and prices from a receding price indicator.
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If you read the original link you'll see the average cost has actually dropped $600 dollars in the last four years. That suggests the opposite, that people are backing off.
Well, in this day and age a lot of marriages don't last all that long. Mind as well keep saving for your second marriage so you can really get that big rock! :metal
Second wives get the best jewelry.
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There were 10 or 12 people at my wedding and we just got a few cases of beer and a case of wine and a boom box with a few CDs. We had a blast. We passed the hat and everyone tossed in a little bit of money and I think my wife and I ended up breaking even on the whole thing. That was my second (current and final) wife.
My first wedding was absolutely ridiculous. 400+ people attended and I think I knew maybe 10 of them. I have no idea what it cost. Her parents paid for it.
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Of course, none of us spent $90,000 on jetpacks for the ceremony...
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/24/jetpack-wedding-amanda-volf-grant-engler_n_1826806.html
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Wow. Filing that one under "sounds really cool on paper, but is really lame in real life".
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I can think of a lot better ways to unload $90 large
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I mean, had they hovered 100 feet in the air when getting married, that would have been cool. Still having your feet in the water ... eh.