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Dream Theater => Dream Theater => Topic started by: Jamesman42 on February 03, 2012, 07:28:31 PM

Title: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 03, 2012, 07:28:31 PM: What do you call a progressive metal drummer who is good at math?

A PiMP.

:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zook on February 03, 2012, 07:32:10 PM: I don't get it.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 03, 2012, 07:33:34 PM: John Petrucci is a beary good guitarist.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: voncorn on February 03, 2012, 07:33:38 PM: -
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zook on February 03, 2012, 07:34:15 PM: Quote from: voncorn on February 03, 2012, 07:33:38 PM
Here's my joke: Mike Portnoy since 2007.

ban't in 3...2...
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 03, 2012, 07:39:21 PM: Wow, really? Did we have to go there? I was hoping for good clean fun. >:(
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 03, 2012, 07:39:54 PM: Quote from: Zook on February 03, 2012, 07:34:15 PM
Quote from: voncorn on February 03, 2012, 07:33:38 PM
Here's my joke: Mike Portnoy since 2007.

ban't in 3...2...

He can just use one of Mangini's three wishes to get unbanned.

no big deal
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 03, 2012, 07:44:15 PM: ^^^That counts as a joke btw^^^
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Captainchaos204 on February 03, 2012, 07:49:14 PM: Jordan Rudess is a Wiz at keyboards :laugh:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on February 03, 2012, 07:53:33 PM: If Dominici had stayed in DT, I&W would have been titled, "Conspiracy Theories".
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 03, 2012, 07:54:24 PM: :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ultimetalhead on February 03, 2012, 07:55:58 PM: When it comes to guitar, JP has got much more than the bear essentials.

:octavarium:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 03, 2012, 07:59:05 PM: What is Harry Potter's favorite Dream Theater song?

Scarred
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on February 03, 2012, 08:00:20 PM: :clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Aythesryche on February 03, 2012, 08:52:20 PM: An Eskimo carrying two hammers escorted by two firemen walk into a bar. The Eskimo walks over towards the bartender and then hits him in the eyes with the two hammers, rendering his vision useless as the two firemen proceed upstairs. As the Eskimo then pulls down his pants, the two firemen utilize the upper advantage and slaughter each other with seat belt cutters, bleeding on the patrons down below. John Petrucci then walks into the bar with his guitar and plays an E Minor chord, causing the bathroom door in the back of the establishment to open and emit a tremendous glowing light, causing everyone to become shitfaced instantly. Everyone cheers uncontrollably. -Fin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ħ on February 03, 2012, 08:53:06 PM: What the hell. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ħ on February 03, 2012, 09:01:52 PM: James LaBrie walks into a bar. He gets a drink and sits down to chat with a lifelong friend. They gather up a crew and set sail for a secret island that berths his old ship, in a last attempt to break the curse of the Aztec gold once and for all.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 03, 2012, 09:05:55 PM: Quote from: Aythesryche on February 03, 2012, 08:52:20 PM
An Eskimo carrying two hammers escorted by two firemen walk into a bar. The Eskimo walks over towards the bartender and then hits him in the eyes with the two hammers, rendering his vision useless as the two firemen proceed upstairs. As the Eskimo then pulls down his pants, the two firemen utilize the upper advantage and slaughter each other with seat belt cutters, bleeding on the patrons down below. John Petrucci then walks into the bar with his guitar and plays an E Minor chord, causing the bathroom door in the back of the establishment to open and emit a tremendous glowing light, causing everyone to become shitfaced instantly. Everyone cheers uncontrollably. -Fin

7.3/-10
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 03, 2012, 09:07:03 PM: Quote from: Aythesryche on February 03, 2012, 08:52:20 PM
An Eskimo carrying two hammers escorted by two firemen walk into a bar. The Eskimo walks over towards the bartender and then hits him in the eyes with the two hammers, rendering his vision useless as the two firemen proceed upstairs. As the Eskimo then pulls down his pants, the two firemen utilize the upper advantage and slaughter each other with seat belt cutters, bleeding on the patrons down below. John Petrucci then walks into the bar with his guitar and plays an E Minor chord, causing the bathroom door in the back of the establishment to open and emit a tremendous glowing light, causing everyone to become shitfaced instantly. Everyone cheers uncontrollably. -Fin

e/pi
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Rina on February 03, 2012, 10:50:09 PM: Quote from: Gadough on February 03, 2012, 09:05:55 PM
Quote from: Aythesryche on February 03, 2012, 08:52:20 PM
An Eskimo carrying two hammers escorted by two firemen walk into a bar. The Eskimo walks over towards the bartender and then hits him in the eyes with the two hammers, rendering his vision useless as the two firemen proceed upstairs. As the Eskimo then pulls down his pants, the two firemen utilize the upper advantage and slaughter each other with seat belt cutters, bleeding on the patrons down below. John Petrucci then walks into the bar with his guitar and plays an E Minor chord, causing the bathroom door in the back of the establishment to open and emit a tremendous glowing light, causing everyone to become shitfaced instantly. Everyone cheers uncontrollably. -Fin

7.3/-10

Wouldn't they be carrying ice picks? This whole thing just seems irrational now.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: voncorn on February 04, 2012, 12:09:58 AM: -
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 04, 2012, 12:14:17 AM: Quote from: voncorn on February 04, 2012, 12:09:58 AM
Quote from: Jamesman42 on February 03, 2012, 07:39:21 PM
Wow, really? Did we have to go there? I was hoping for good clean fun. >:(

You said "bad" jokes... I'm not being serious by the way, it was only just that, a joke! I still respect and hold Portnoy in high regard despite his less than stellar PR in the last year.

Alright. Just watch it. :)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: theseoafs on February 04, 2012, 12:37:44 AM: I don't get the initial joke, which was apparently so funny it made the thread creator laugh.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on February 04, 2012, 12:54:59 AM: What's Mike Portnoy's comment on Space-Dye Vest?

"I don't like Space-Dye Vest that much but we had a recording of that song and some free space on the CD so what the fuck"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: YtseJamittaja on February 04, 2012, 01:45:57 AM: Quote from: ? on February 04, 2012, 12:54:59 AM
What's Mike Portnoy's comment on Space-Dye Vest?

"I don't like Space-Dye Vest that much but we had a recording of that song and some free space on the CD so what the fuck"

:clap:

What a typical Japanese DT fan say before the consert?
- So hevi saaund, yyaah!
What a typical Japanese DT fan say after the consert?
- So energy, powah!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sixtease on February 04, 2012, 05:26:43 AM: Quote from: ? on February 04, 2012, 12:54:59 AM
What's Mike Portnoy's comment on Space-Dye Vest?

"I don't like Space-Dye Vest that much but we had a recording of that song and some free space on the CD so what the fuck"
Please, someone tell me what was the initial meme behind this? I never was able to google it out.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: BlobVanDam on February 04, 2012, 05:31:28 AM: Quote from: Sixtease on February 04, 2012, 05:26:43 AM
Quote from: ? on February 04, 2012, 12:54:59 AM
What's Mike Portnoy's comment on Space-Dye Vest?

"I don't like Space-Dye Vest that much but we had a recording of that song and some free space on the CD so what the fuck"
Please, someone tell me what was the initial meme behind this? I never was able to google it out.

It's from the Dream Theater Live in Tokyo video/DVD. There's some footage of them exploring Japan, and some asian chick gets an autograph and says something to the camera in Japanese. Then Kevin Moore says "She said 'I don't like Dream Theater that much, but I had a pen and some paper, so what the fuck'".
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sixtease on February 04, 2012, 06:20:30 AM: Stupid me, I even saw it, now I recall. Thanks Blob.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: AngelBack on February 04, 2012, 06:44:17 AM: From the BAD DT Practical Jokes department:

**sometime last year right before MP's press release**

(https://www.johnpetrucci.com/images/DSC_4574.jpg)

"Hey James, guess what ? I hacked Syn Gates email and offerred MP a job...let's see what happens " !!!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: m0hawk on February 04, 2012, 07:51:18 AM: Hey kids, what happens when you eat too much meat in one night?

Constant Motion!

...

sorry that was terrible :'(
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on February 04, 2012, 08:58:42 AM: You want hit songs? You won't find it here, look another way.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GunsOfThePatriots on February 04, 2012, 09:04:12 AM: Quote from: Jamesman42 on February 03, 2012, 07:28:31 PM
What do you call a progressive metal drummer who is good at math?

A PiMP.

:rollin

You Hate that Guy So Much
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GunsOfThePatriots on February 04, 2012, 09:06:29 AM: Quote from: voncorn on February 03, 2012, 07:33:38 PM
Here's my joke: Mike Portnoy since 2007.

Same For You
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: fibreoptix on February 04, 2012, 09:06:42 AM: Quote from: Jamesman42 on February 03, 2012, 07:28:31 PM
What do you call a progressive metal drummer who is good at math?

A PiMP.

:rollin

Pi Mike Portnoy?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 04, 2012, 02:51:17 PM: Quote from: theseoafs on February 04, 2012, 12:37:44 AM
I don't get the initial joke, which was apparently so funny it made the thread creator laugh.

You don't know Jamesman that well do you? :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on February 04, 2012, 03:04:02 PM: Math Portnoy
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: John94 on February 04, 2012, 03:08:26 PM: What's an insomniacs favourite Dream Theater album?

Awake
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: fibreoptix on February 04, 2012, 03:27:18 PM: What do you see when you open a DT booklet?

Images and Words.

...I'll never forgive myself for that.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 04, 2012, 03:37:21 PM: What happens when you jump headfirst into a problem involving division by 0?

You start falling into infinity holy fukcing lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 04, 2012, 04:44:18 PM: What is a turtle's favorite DT song?

Solitary Shell
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: fibreoptix on February 04, 2012, 04:52:30 PM: Quote from: Gadough on February 04, 2012, 04:44:18 PM
What is a turtle's favorite DT song?

Solitary Shell

And here was me thinking it was Metropolis! Silly me. ;)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 04, 2012, 04:58:17 PM: Convicts who live in glass prisons shouldn't throw stones.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Estiui on February 04, 2012, 05:02:16 PM: A 6 years old kid opens the door and watches his parents having sex. Name of the song?

Innocence faded.

Killing myself in 3, 2, 1...
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on February 04, 2012, 05:03:16 PM: What do Dream Theater and Adrenaline Mob have in common ( besides MP) ?

Nothing.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 04, 2012, 05:03:41 PM: What do you call a spanish speaker who is afraid?

Scarred.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 04, 2012, 05:03:56 PM: i regret making this thread
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 04, 2012, 05:04:08 PM: I already made a Scarred joke :angry:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on February 04, 2012, 05:07:52 PM: What does a horny DT fan do?

Applies Constant Lotion.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 04, 2012, 05:09:06 PM: I lol'd
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 04, 2012, 05:32:03 PM: Quote from: Gadough on February 04, 2012, 05:04:08 PM
I already made a Scarred joke :angry:

uncanny strange deja fuck vu
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 04, 2012, 05:33:54 PM: Why did the mathematician get a stomach ache when he found 2 angles of a triangle to have angle measures of 90 and 84?

Because that left him with six degrees of inner turbulence fucking shit that is funny
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: olliemedsy on February 04, 2012, 06:27:01 PM: lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: olliemedsy on February 04, 2012, 06:28:53 PM: When it comes to drums, Mike Portnoy is more than jew could ever ask for
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: olliemedsy on February 04, 2012, 06:31:49 PM: When it comes to keyboards, Jordan is the Rudesst
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: olliemedsy on February 04, 2012, 06:36:59 PM: If kevin stayed in dream theater, there would have been Moore good songs
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: johncal on February 04, 2012, 06:38:44 PM: Hey, and I late? When do the jokes start?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: olliemedsy on February 04, 2012, 06:39:38 PM: John's Myungcle
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: m0hawk on February 04, 2012, 07:07:29 PM: What is Hamlet the rapist's favourite song?

PULL ME UNDAH PERUVIAN SKIES
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: WindMaster on February 04, 2012, 07:25:47 PM: 4/4
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 04, 2012, 07:39:25 PM: Quote from: WindMaster on February 04, 2012, 07:25:47 PM
4/4

Honestly, the best joke so far :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on February 04, 2012, 09:18:21 PM: Quote from: Estiui on February 04, 2012, 05:02:16 PM
A 6 years old kid opens the door and watches his parents having sex. Name of the song?

Innocence faded.

Killing myself in 3, 2, 1...

This joke is a Fatal Tragedy.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 04, 2012, 09:26:11 PM: Quote from: Gadough on February 04, 2012, 07:39:25 PM
Quote from: WindMaster on February 04, 2012, 07:25:47 PM
4/4

Honestly, the best joke so far :lol

Except it is old as fuck cuzz
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: commanderbob on February 04, 2012, 10:11:36 PM: What did James say to his crew after they dug up the buried treasure?

Pull Me Plunder.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 04, 2012, 10:46:15 PM: :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: lonestar on February 04, 2012, 11:15:03 PM: :clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: darkshade on February 04, 2012, 11:36:11 PM: (https://i41.tinypic.com/ma86eg.jpg)

(https://i42.tinypic.com/mmadmc.jpg)

(https://i40.tinypic.com/2drigs0.jpg)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: darkshade on February 04, 2012, 11:51:56 PM: Quote from: FlyingBIZKIT on February 04, 2012, 05:07:52 PM
What does a horny DT fan do?

Not get laid.

fixed.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: fibreoptix on February 05, 2012, 03:06:11 AM: Quote from: olliemedsy on February 04, 2012, 06:39:38 PM
John's Myungcle

I let out a wee lol.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on February 05, 2012, 10:31:06 AM: Anyone who tries to make bad DT jokes, needs to get a fucking life!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: darkshade on February 05, 2012, 10:36:22 AM: ^ lol that was pretty good.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on February 05, 2012, 10:40:43 AM: Thanx. My best effort yet. Others were too bad.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on February 05, 2012, 10:44:34 AM: Here's another:

Mike Portnoy sued Dream Theater. What was the result?

Trial of Tears.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Frost134 on February 05, 2012, 11:01:22 AM: Japan is kind of a...a strange market to figure out.

.......... .i.(-_-).i. FUCK!!!!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: WindMaster on February 05, 2012, 11:05:38 AM: wat
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: darkshade on February 05, 2012, 11:07:02 AM: lol I got it

(Watch the Budokan bonus DVD)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on February 05, 2012, 11:39:58 AM: Dream Theater members gained each 30 more pounds. The band is now named Cream Eater.

Dream Theater followed the example of Metallica. Their new studio album is named: Metropolis pt.3: A New Love is Born.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 05, 2012, 11:42:19 AM: Quote from: Ruba on February 05, 2012, 11:39:58 AM
Dream Theater members gained each 30 more pounds. The band is now named Cream Eater.

I made that name up long ago. OLD
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mind Trail on February 05, 2012, 11:59:52 AM: A friend of mine thinks Dream Theater sucks, because they are generic and that anyone can play and compose their music. And also, an important reason is that they dont always sell out big arenas... :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 05, 2012, 03:45:06 PM: Quote from: Ruba on February 05, 2012, 10:31:06 AM
Anyone who tries to make bad DT jokes, needs to get a fucking life!

At first I was like (https://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/askville/6171170_8568295_mywrite/smiley-finger.gif)

Then I was like :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: vulcandj on February 05, 2012, 08:37:26 PM: When do black metal bands open their christmas presents?

6,6,6:00 on a christmas morning.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: cookienut on February 05, 2012, 08:44:31 PM: Dream Theater release new album. Mike Portnoy press release.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: mrjazzguitar on February 05, 2012, 08:50:45 PM: Why did the little boy die?

He tried head banging to Dance of Eternity
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Rina on February 06, 2012, 12:11:45 AM: Quote from: cookienut on February 05, 2012, 08:44:31 PM
Dream Theater release new album. Mike Portnoy press release.
:lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on February 06, 2012, 01:36:58 AM: Why Dream Theater moved to Roadrunner?

James LaBrie: I don't really like Roadrunner Records, but they had paper and I had a pen, so what the fuck.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ħ on February 06, 2012, 01:47:00 AM: Quote from: Gadough on February 05, 2012, 03:45:06 PM
Quote from: Ruba on February 05, 2012, 10:31:06 AM
Anyone who tries to make bad DT jokes, needs to get a fucking life!

At first I was like (https://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/askville/6171170_8568295_mywrite/smiley-finger.gif)

Then I was like :lol
i do not get
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on February 06, 2012, 04:10:23 AM: Quote from: Ħ on February 06, 2012, 01:47:00 AM
Quote from: Gadough on February 05, 2012, 03:45:06 PM
Quote from: Ruba on February 05, 2012, 10:31:06 AM
Anyone who tries to make bad DT jokes, needs to get a fucking life!

At first I was like (https://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/askville/6171170_8568295_mywrite/smiley-finger.gif)

Then I was like :lol
i do not get

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woxbCUpws44

Legendary DT moments you need to know.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: snapple on February 06, 2012, 04:42:35 AM: ~~mike wasnt funny in any of them~~
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Dublagent66 on February 06, 2012, 07:09:07 AM: Quote from: Ruba on February 05, 2012, 11:39:58 AM
Dream Theater members gained each 30 more pounds. The band is now named Cream Eater.

Nah, more like Crispy Cream Theater. :biggrin:

Will Dream Theater ever tour with Nightmare Cinema as an opener? :neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 06, 2012, 08:44:42 AM: I can't think of anything. At this point, I should be in the kitchen flipping burgers.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: OsMosis2259 on February 06, 2012, 02:42:26 PM: Quote from: Ruba on February 06, 2012, 01:36:58 AM
Why Dream Theater moved to Roadrunner?

James LaBrie: I don't really like Roadrunner Records, but they had paper and I had a pen, so what the fuck.

hahaha you can say that one with anything really.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 06, 2012, 03:08:11 PM: Quote from: OsMosis2259 on February 06, 2012, 02:42:26 PM
Quote from: Ruba on February 06, 2012, 01:36:58 AM
Why Dream Theater moved to Roadrunner?

James LaBrie: I don't really like Roadrunner Records, but they had paper and I had a pen, so what the fuck.
hahaha you can say that one with anything really, so what the fuck.

Fixed.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on February 06, 2012, 05:32:55 PM: What is Beavis and Butthead's favorite DT album?

Score
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: snapple on February 06, 2012, 05:40:44 PM: Quote from: Metropolaris on February 06, 2012, 05:32:55 PM
What is Beavis and Butthead's favorite DT album?

Score

Actually gave me a good chuckle. :D
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Fran521 on February 07, 2012, 07:23:09 AM: Why was Petrucci afraid of the Count of Tuscany?

Because he was a hunter
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 08, 2012, 01:19:58 PM: How did Moses lead the Jewish slaves from the deserts of Egypt?

There were lines in the sand.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 08, 2012, 01:30:55 PM: What does Dream Theater eat for breakfast?

Bacon
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on February 08, 2012, 01:36:58 PM: When MP left the band, the position as drummer was....

... Vacant.

(https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/forumavatars/avatar_1416_1328434500.png)

YYYEAAAAHHH!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 08, 2012, 01:43:45 PM: But there are no drums on vacant? ??????
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on February 08, 2012, 01:50:02 PM: All praise your sacrificed puns guys.......all praise your sacrificed puns.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: WindMaster on February 08, 2012, 03:12:36 PM: omg zydar. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 08, 2012, 09:27:21 PM: Don't like the jokes, come back another day.

...

Singularities
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Dublagent66 on February 08, 2012, 10:43:00 PM: What do you call Dream Theater when they Wait For Sleep?

Awake :neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Nekov on February 09, 2012, 05:25:21 AM: Quote from: Dublagent66 on February 08, 2012, 10:43:00 PM
What do you call Dream Theater when they Wait For Sleep?

Awake :neverusethis:

:lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on February 09, 2012, 07:40:46 AM: What do you get when you cross the 2nd Amendment and John Petrucci?

The right to arm bears :metal
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on February 09, 2012, 07:46:17 AM: hahahaha :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on February 13, 2012, 02:08:37 PM: I think this is the most fun I've had with a thread since Awake
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: darkshade on February 13, 2012, 02:24:32 PM: Not a joke, but I found this funny.

(https://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg94/scaled.php?server=94&filename=adtoeleakmemecopia.jpg&res=medium)

This was similar to me, I assume the end is because he should have waited.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: darkshade on February 13, 2012, 02:32:12 PM: What do the members of Dream Theater call their kids?

"My young"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FallTempest on February 14, 2012, 07:28:03 PM: What was MP's reaction to ADTOE?

He went absolutely mother fucking psychosane on our asses.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 14, 2012, 08:33:29 PM: Quote from: darkshade on February 13, 2012, 02:32:12 PM
What do the members of Dream Theater call their kids?

"My young"

:lol

What is John Petrucci's favourite flavour of ice cream?

Metropolitan.

Not DT-related, but music related.
What do you call a gnome that lives in the city?

A metrognome.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: LCArenas on February 14, 2012, 08:41:28 PM: What happens when Juice Malouse wants to get less viscous?

He pours his soul into the water.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 14, 2012, 09:26:10 PM: Quote from: LCArenas on February 14, 2012, 08:41:28 PM
What happens when Juice Malouse wants to get less viscous?

He pours his soul into the water.

:rollin Oh god that was amazing. :clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mind Trail on February 15, 2012, 06:11:12 AM: LaBrie James. LeBron James.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on February 15, 2012, 09:34:36 AM: Before every show, James has to "do hair!!!!"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: AngelBack on February 15, 2012, 10:45:12 AM: What do you call Nadya Suleman's womb.....

OK, that was way too easy....
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: slycordinator on February 15, 2012, 02:29:43 PM: KM was sad find out that his favorite restaurant closed early... and would never be open again.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: voncorn on February 15, 2012, 03:21:39 PM: -
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mind Trail on February 15, 2012, 03:33:50 PM: Quote from: slycordinator on February 15, 2012, 02:29:43 PM
KM was sad find out that his favorite restaurant closed early... and would never be open again.

:tup
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on February 15, 2012, 04:29:32 PM: Quote from: AngelBack on February 15, 2012, 10:45:12 AM
What do you call Nadya Suleman's womb.....

OK, that was way too easy....

What, an octo...?

Oh.

:lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on February 16, 2012, 12:07:44 AM: Quote from: slycordinator on February 15, 2012, 02:29:43 PM
KM was sad find out that his favorite restaurant closed early... and would never be open again.

The best.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mladen on February 16, 2012, 03:20:54 AM: Quote from: slycordinator on February 15, 2012, 02:29:43 PM
KM was sad find out that his favorite restaurant closed early... and would never be open again.
That's kinda sad, I loved that restaurant. :'(
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 16, 2012, 07:42:30 AM: One time jehova's witnesses came to my door, and I didn't want to deal with them, so when they asked me to buy a bible, I said "sorry, I'm too busy sacrificing sons in my backyard".
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on February 16, 2012, 07:49:17 AM: ^Were you roasting an amish steak? :neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on February 16, 2012, 08:18:37 AM: Quote from: Mladen on February 16, 2012, 03:20:54 AM
Quote from: slycordinator on February 15, 2012, 02:29:43 PM
KM was sad find out that his favorite restaurant closed early... and would never be open again.
That's kinda sad, I loved that restaurant. :'(

I went by there the other day. It was... Vacant.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on February 16, 2012, 08:20:48 AM: Quote from: Mladen on February 16, 2012, 03:20:54 AM
Quote from: slycordinator on February 15, 2012, 02:29:43 PM
KM was sad find out that his favorite restaurant closed early... and would never be open again.
That's kinda sad, I loved that restaurant. :'(

I think it was located in Hell's Kitchen.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 16, 2012, 11:10:49 AM: Quote from: Zydar on February 16, 2012, 08:20:48 AM
I think it was located in Hell's Kitchen.
On the streets of New York city.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: AngelBack on February 16, 2012, 11:26:14 AM: Why are female drug dealers at Raves so popular ??

(hint; Home)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mind Trail on February 16, 2012, 11:49:56 AM: Quote from: Zydar on February 16, 2012, 08:20:48 AM
Quote from: Mladen on February 16, 2012, 03:20:54 AM
Quote from: slycordinator on February 15, 2012, 02:29:43 PM
KM was sad find out that his favorite restaurant closed early... and would never be open again.
That's kinda sad, I loved that restaurant. :'(

I think it was located in Hell's Kitchen.

No wonder it got shut down. They poisoned LaBrie, remember? :eek
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 16, 2012, 01:42:33 PM: Push You Over
Today
Give the Space
Secluded
City Part 2: The Burden and the All-nighter
Over a Sand Sun
Avoid Awake
Teaching to Die
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: SeventhSon on February 16, 2012, 03:28:52 PM: I had an idea for one of those CSI "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH" puns but I can't find a good way to make it with the graphic, so this will have to suffice.

"Dream Theater was nominated for a Grammy award. They didn't win, but they'll treasure the memory forever."

"So I guess you could say the Grammy award was..."

*sunglasses*

"Lost Not Forgotten."

*YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH*
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on February 16, 2012, 04:22:10 PM: Orbert likes this.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: WindMaster on February 16, 2012, 04:49:08 PM: WindMaster approves of this thread.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: DreamTension on February 16, 2012, 08:25:40 PM: What do you call a foot with six toes?

ADTOE
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on February 16, 2012, 08:27:21 PM: Quote from: GasparXR on February 16, 2012, 01:42:33 PM
Push You Over
Today
Give the Space
Secluded
City Part 2: The Burden and the All-nighter
Over a Sand Sun
Avoid Awake
Teaching to Die

In response to this..
The Asleep album

2:30 PM
Free From a Net
Guilt Clear
Boner-Kill-Palooza
Thoughts
The Woman That Won't Shut Up
The Window
Truth
Throwing Light on Reality
Healed
Earth Colored Shirt
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: darkshade on February 16, 2012, 08:38:15 PM: Again, not a joke necessarily, but I found this funny.
(https://webspace.utexas.edu/chrispy/dtandmesmall.jpg)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 16, 2012, 08:53:15 PM: Quote from: Metropolaris on February 16, 2012, 08:27:21 PM

In response to this..
The Asleep album

2:30 PM
Free From a Net
Guilt Clear
Boner-Kill-Palooza
Thoughts
The Woman That Won't Shut Up
The Window
Truth
Throwing Light on Reality
Healed
Earth Colored Shirt

LOL

Rising From Zero

Old Century
Me Or You
Cuban Grounds
Solid Months
Freezing Your Body
Heaven's Diner
Squares out of the Stone
Give More Euphoria
Only Allow You to Swallow
Mary Chan
Test of Sneezes
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on February 16, 2012, 09:04:29 PM: Metropenis Pt.2: Scenes from a Pornography

Seduction
Overture 69
Strange Fetish
Through My Moans
Anal Tragedy
Beyond This Bed
Through Her Thighs
Her Husband Ain't Home
The Foreplay of Eternity
One More Time
The STD Carries On
Finally Free(Of the S&M Dungeon)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: darkshade on February 16, 2012, 09:07:24 PM: ^ what happened to Home?

Should be: "Home (Havin' Sex)"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on February 16, 2012, 09:13:50 PM: I thought the song was dirty enough with the "Moaning" section. But I'll change it :)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: darkshade on February 16, 2012, 09:17:10 PM: True. I wasn't thinking about the song content as much as just the titles. I forgot about the moaning section.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Gadough on February 17, 2012, 02:26:58 AM: Quote from: darkshade on February 16, 2012, 08:38:15 PM
Again, not a joke necessarily, but I found this funny.
(https://webspace.utexas.edu/chrispy/dtandmesmall.jpg)

It's only funny because Myung is refusing to participate. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on February 17, 2012, 03:34:17 AM: Thirdarium

The End of All Good
The Question Doesn't Exist
Those Floors
You Run Behind Me
Calm Defense
Always More
Saved Daughters
Thirdarium

Unorganized Order

Far From Friends, pt.1.
Found
Never Moving
The Light Nonexisting Day
Narcissism
Leaders of Peace
The Government of Found Bodies
Far From Friends, pt.2.

White Skies & Golden Interiors

A Daydream to Forget
A Rite of Leaving
Flourish
The Build Warfield
The Worst of Ages
The Lord of Sicily
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on February 17, 2012, 04:12:53 AM: Bus of Idea:

The Way You Aren't
That Healing Mind
Slaughter Without Beginning
Humiliate My Mother
Full
River of Passing Out
From the Title of Deity

When Awakeness and Night Divide:

A Property in Truth
Popularity Avoider
Gn Ik
The Foot That Gives Birth
Blow Fuse and Stay Here
Before Death
The Ones Who Prevent Moon from Rising
Just a Case of Infinity

Now somebody can do one for Six Degrees! :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on February 17, 2012, 05:00:13 AM: Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness

The Plastic Freedom
Seeing Doubt
Understood
The Tiny Argument
Emerge

Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness: Prelude
Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness: About To Thrive
Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness: Peace Outside Your Pancreas
Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness: The Solution That Bamboozled None
Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness: Farewell Hug
Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness: Crowded Clam
Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness: About To Thrive (Re-Run)
Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness: Winning Streak / Small Intro
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Nekov on February 17, 2012, 05:09:32 AM: :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on February 17, 2012, 05:32:03 AM: A Constant of Time

I. The Purple Sunset
II. Guilty
III. Grande Taco
IV. The Brightest of Summers
V. Same Planet
VI. The Spring That Never Comes
VII. The Purple Sunrise
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on February 17, 2012, 07:40:03 AM: The Tiny Argument and Grande Taco :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: reneranucci on February 17, 2012, 07:54:09 AM: Where did the guys take James for his birthday?

The Cuban all you can eat.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: chknptpie on February 17, 2012, 08:35:40 AM: Quote from: darkshade on February 16, 2012, 08:38:15 PM
Again, not a joke necessarily, but I found this funny.
(https://webspace.utexas.edu/chrispy/dtandmesmall.jpg)

Are you (or the person in the picture if it isn't you) a giant?! :eek
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Tomislav95 on February 17, 2012, 10:27:44 AM: Why is James LaBrie against ACTA?

Because he's a pirate :yarr
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ZKX-2099 on February 17, 2012, 11:34:18 AM: A Boring Line Of Incidents

Beneath Demons
Break Me Down, Build Me Up
Found Not Remembered
Thats Not The Death
Underwater Tunnels

In Heaven
Constructing Few Falsehoods
On The Ground
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mind Trail on February 17, 2012, 12:09:18 PM: Indians and Microsoft Words

Pull Me Up From Here!
It Ends Today
Hurry Up
Abandoned
Extremeley Small Village
Over a Rubber Sun
Not intending to wait for sleep, I'll rather sleep right now
Forgetting How to Die
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: RoeDent on February 17, 2012, 04:06:38 PM: Quote from: ? on February 17, 2012, 04:12:53 AM
Bus of Idea:

Full

Engaged ;D
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 17, 2012, 07:23:53 PM: Quote from: Mind Trail on February 17, 2012, 12:09:18 PM
Indians and Microsoft Words

Pull Me Up From Here!
It Ends Today
Hurry Up
Abandoned
Extremeley Small Village
Over a Rubber Sun
Not intending to wait for sleep, I'll rather sleep right now
Forgetting How to Die

Already did I&W :P
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mind Trail on February 17, 2012, 07:39:38 PM: Quote from: GasparXR on February 17, 2012, 07:23:53 PM
Quote from: Mind Trail on February 17, 2012, 12:09:18 PM
Indians and Microsoft Words

Pull Me Up From Here!
It Ends Today
Hurry Up
Abandoned
Extremeley Small Village
Over a Rubber Sun
Not intending to wait for sleep, I'll rather sleep right now
Forgetting How to Die

Already did I&W :P

That was just my own version, sorry :P
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: LCArenas on February 17, 2012, 07:53:05 PM: "Good thing I went to the gym today. I build things up and break them down"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: slycordinator on February 17, 2012, 07:56:15 PM: Quote from: LCArenas on February 17, 2012, 07:53:05 PM
"Good thing I went to the gym today. I build things up and break them down"
:lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on February 17, 2012, 08:31:52 PM: And just for the hell of it, Demos/unreleased songs.

FII Demos

Lower That Spoon
Where Have You Been?
The Way it is Now
Uncover My Ass
Shut the Fuck Up

Majesty Demos

No More Loss (Another Won)
One Near (Two Far)
Scream for Slavery (Cry for Freedom)
Moonwalk of the Saint (March of the Tyrant)
My King (Your Majesty)
A Memory (A Vision)
Unneeded Planet (Vital Star)

Others

Day After (Eve)
To Die Yesterday (To Live Forever)
Look Away from Me (Don't Look Past Me)
Cooked Cat (Raw Dog)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 17, 2012, 11:22:13 PM: Quote from: LCArenas on February 17, 2012, 07:53:05 PM
"Good thing I went to the gym today. I build things up and break them down"

XDDDD
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: adameastment on February 23, 2012, 09:18:23 AM: I went into a toilet and looked for a cubicle that was...

...Vacant...
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mladen on February 23, 2012, 02:37:31 PM: Quote from: Metropolaris on February 16, 2012, 09:04:29 PM
Metropenis Pt.2: Scenes from a Pornography

Seduction
Overture 69
Strange Fetish
Through My Moans
Anal Tragedy
Beyond This Bed
Through Her Thighs
Her Husband Ain't Home
The Foreplay of Eternity
One More Time
The STD Carries On
Finally Free(Of the S&M Dungeon)
Great job. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on February 24, 2012, 05:01:50 AM: What did John Petrucci say to Jordan Rudess when he went to stand next to him while shredding an uber technical solo?
-I wank beside you
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: m0hawk on February 27, 2012, 06:35:08 AM: What do you call John Myung?

...

The Silent Man

HAHA GUYS GET IT COS HE NEVER TALKS HAHAHAHAHAHA
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on February 27, 2012, 02:08:45 PM: Quote from: Metropolaris on February 16, 2012, 09:04:29 PM
Metropenis Pt.2: Scenes from a Pornography

Seduction
Overture 69
Strange Fetish
Through My Moans
Anal Tragedy
Beyond This Bed
Through Her Thighs
Her Husband Ain't Home
The Chance of Paternity
One More Time
The STD Carries On
Finally Free(Of the S&M Dungeon)

My friend came up with a better one for Dance of Eternity.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Scorpion on March 03, 2012, 03:13:42 AM: :rollin

Damn, that's awesome. I'd applaud you if I could find the smily for that.

What would have been Robespierre's favorite DT song?

Raise the Knife.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on May 29, 2012, 12:49:26 AM: Why is Al Jourgensen mad at DT?

Because they have a song "The Ministry of Lost Souls".

What was DT's reaction, when they heard the final version of Bridges in the Sky?

They were chuffed to the BITS.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: lonestar on May 29, 2012, 03:19:13 PM: Quote from: Scorpion on March 03, 2012, 03:13:42 AM
:rollin

Damn, that's awesome. I'd applaud you if I could find the smily for that.

Well, we got this :clap: and this :slowclap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jaffa on May 29, 2012, 03:23:18 PM: Quote from: Zydar on February 17, 2012, 05:00:13 AM
Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness: Peace Outside Your Pancreas
Five Divisions Of Outer Stillness: The Solution That Bamboozled None

:rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ResultsMayVary on May 29, 2012, 03:28:53 PM: Quote from: Metropolaris on February 17, 2012, 08:31:52 PM
And just for the hell of it, Demos/unreleased songs.

FII Demos

Lower That Spoon
Where Have You Been?
The Way it is Now
Uncover My Ass
Shut the Fuck Up

HAHAHA
:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Freko on May 29, 2012, 07:03:31 PM: James Labrie, Charlie Dominici and Chris Collins walk into a bar. The bartender says: "is this some kind of joke?"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: M4rksman on June 02, 2012, 12:28:54 PM: Just before John Petrucci goes to bed at night, he checks under his bed for the Count of Tuscany. :P
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on June 02, 2012, 12:48:14 PM: And The Count checks under his bed for The Dark Master.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on June 02, 2012, 01:01:33 PM: What does James say before he goes to church?

"God it's Sunday! DO HAIR!"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: senecadawg2 on June 02, 2012, 01:16:33 PM: What does Myung say before he goes to church?

:|
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on June 02, 2012, 01:18:47 PM: UFC 150: Portnoy vs Labrie
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Elite on June 02, 2012, 03:06:49 PM: Quote from: Metropolaris on February 17, 2012, 08:31:52 PM
FII Demos

Lower That Spoon
Where Have You Been?
The Way it is Now
Uncover My Ass
Shut the Fuck Up

This one is amazing. Especially the last, for the total simplicity of it. Awesome.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on June 03, 2012, 01:30:02 AM: Quote from: Metropolaris on February 17, 2012, 08:31:52 PM
FII Demos

Lower That Spoon
Where Have You Been?
The Way it is Now
Uncover My Ass
Shut the Fuck Up
WIN! :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ice9ine on June 03, 2012, 03:58:20 AM: Why have there been two Johns, two Kevins and two Mikes but only one Jordan in Dream Theater?

Because the other guys name was Derek.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Stonestef on June 03, 2012, 05:28:48 AM: (https://img850.imageshack.us/img850/2639/dominici.jpg)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zook on June 03, 2012, 05:34:00 AM: :clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on June 03, 2012, 05:52:32 AM: haha :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on June 03, 2012, 09:24:00 AM: Quote from: Stonestef on June 03, 2012, 05:28:48 AM
(https://img850.imageshack.us/img850/2639/dominici.jpg)

:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: King Postwhore on June 03, 2012, 10:26:57 AM: Mike Portnoy walks into a bar.......

Everyone survives.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on June 03, 2012, 10:39:13 AM: Quote from: chefkingshmegland on June 03, 2012, 10:26:57 AM
Mike Portnoy walks into a bar.......

Everyone survives.

Roooooooooooooaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: senecadawg2 on June 03, 2012, 11:56:46 AM: Quote from: Ice9ine on June 03, 2012, 03:58:20 AM
Why have there been two Johns, two Kevins and two Mikes but only one Jordan in Dream Theater?

Because the other guys name was Derek.

:\
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mladen on June 03, 2012, 12:11:10 PM: Quote from: Ice9ine on June 03, 2012, 03:58:20 AM
Why have there been two Johns, two Kevins and two Mikes but only one Jordan in Dream Theater?

Because the other guys name was Derek.
That would make a great anti-joke chicken meme for Dream Theater fans. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on June 04, 2012, 04:06:55 AM: Quote from: FlyingBIZKIT on June 02, 2012, 12:48:14 PM
And The Count checks under his bed for The Dark Master.

And The Dark Master is frightened from his closet.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on June 04, 2012, 04:53:27 AM: Whose Metropolis is it Anyway?: Scenes from a Hat
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Scorpion on June 04, 2012, 06:07:58 AM: Quote from: Stonestef on June 03, 2012, 05:28:48 AM
(https://img850.imageshack.us/img850/2639/dominici.jpg)
:lol :rollin :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on June 15, 2012, 09:58:42 AM: A little something I wrote for tumblr:
Dream Theater: So we wanted to name this album "Stream Of Consciousness", but we thought that was too pretentious.
World: Oh, cool, what's it called now?
Dream Theater: Falling Into Infinity.
World: ... and that is supposed to be less pretentious?
Dream Theater: Yes?
World: Get the fuck out.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on June 15, 2012, 10:14:10 AM: What's the opposite of Yourold?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Nick on June 15, 2012, 10:33:13 AM: Quote from: Scorpion on June 04, 2012, 06:07:58 AM
Quote from: Stonestef on June 03, 2012, 05:28:48 AM
(https://img850.imageshack.us/img850/2639/dominici.jpg)
:lol :rollin :lol

Yeah, that's pretty fucking phenomenal. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on June 15, 2012, 11:04:36 AM: Quote from: MoraWintersoul on June 15, 2012, 09:58:42 AM
A little something I wrote for tumblr:
Dream Theater: So we wanted to name this album "Stream Of Consciousness", but we thought that was too pretentious.
World: Oh, cool, what's it called now?
Dream Theater: Falling Into Infinity.
World: ... and that is supposed to be less pretentious?
Dream Theater: Yes?
World: Get the fuck out.

:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MondayMorningLunatic on July 24, 2012, 08:13:59 AM: https://www.healthgrades.com/dentist/dr-john-petrucci-264fc

Flossed Not Forgotten
The Spirit Caries On
Breaking All Occlusions
The Root Canal Of All Evil
Space Dye Crest
Plaque Clouds and Silver Fillings
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Scorpion on July 24, 2012, 08:15:55 AM: :clap:

I especially like Flossed Not Forgotten and The Spirit Caries On.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Implode on July 24, 2012, 08:16:31 AM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on June 15, 2012, 10:14:10 AM
What's the opposite of Yourold?

:pbjmyungemote:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 24, 2012, 10:41:31 AM: Quote from: MondayMorningLunatic on July 24, 2012, 08:13:59 AM
https://www.healthgrades.com/dentist/dr-john-petrucci-264fc

Flossed Not Forgotten
The Spirit Caries On
Breaking All Occlusions
The Root Canal Of All Evil
Space Dye Crest
Plaque Clouds and Silver Fillings

Don't forget The Drilling Hand
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on July 24, 2012, 10:45:31 AM: What did one Portnoy say to the other Portnoy?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 24, 2012, 10:47:30 AM: Quote from: FlyingBIZKIT on July 24, 2012, 10:45:31 AM
What did one Portnoy say to the other Portnoy?

INVENTORY!!!!

I dunno. What?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on July 24, 2012, 10:50:06 AM: That's the joke!!!! There's only ONE Portnoy!! :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin

Oh my God, I felt like Jamesman there.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on July 24, 2012, 11:13:01 AM: :facepalm:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Pols Voice on July 24, 2012, 11:20:50 AM: Quote from: FlyingBIZKIT on July 24, 2012, 10:50:06 AM
That's the joke!!!! There's only ONE Portnoy!! :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin

Oh my God, I felt like Jamesman there.

You're going psychosane.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on July 24, 2012, 12:37:04 PM: Quote from: FlyingBIZKIT on July 24, 2012, 10:45:31 AM
What did one Portnoy say to the other Portnoy?

Wanna go for a drink?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on July 24, 2012, 12:40:00 PM: Quote from: jonnybaxy on July 24, 2012, 12:37:04 PM
Quote from: FlyingBIZKIT on July 24, 2012, 10:45:31 AM
What did one Portnoy say to the other Portnoy?

Wanna go for a drink?

That...

is a good one. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: senecadawg2 on July 24, 2012, 12:43:15 PM: Quote from: jonnybaxy on July 24, 2012, 12:37:04 PM
Quote from: FlyingBIZKIT on July 24, 2012, 10:45:31 AM
What did one Portnoy say to the other Portnoy?

Wanna go for a drink?

:clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Implode on July 24, 2012, 12:43:57 PM: Quote from: FlyingBIZKIT on July 24, 2012, 10:45:31 AM
What did one Portnoy say to the other Portnoy?

Something about going out with his wife.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on July 24, 2012, 02:14:10 PM: What did DT and adrenaline mob do for MP's career?

One built it up, the other brought it down.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: XianL on July 26, 2012, 09:54:47 PM: Six pages, and not one Horatio Caine joke?

You've changed DTF, you've changed.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on July 27, 2012, 12:31:05 AM: Quote from: XianL on July 26, 2012, 09:54:47 PM
Six pages, and not one Horatio Caine joke?

You've changed DTF, you've changed.
I think it was... TIME FOR A CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on July 27, 2012, 07:54:47 AM: Quote from: ? on July 27, 2012, 12:31:05 AM
Quote from: XianL on July 26, 2012, 09:54:47 PM
Six pages, and not one Horatio Caine joke?

You've changed DTF, you've changed.
I think it was... TIME FOR A CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE!

YEEEAAAAAHHHH
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on July 27, 2012, 09:07:04 AM: Why did Kevin Moore leave DT?

Because the band was too big....he needed something smaller.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on July 27, 2012, 09:42:49 AM: Quote from: Marion Crane on July 27, 2012, 09:07:04 AM
Why did Kevin Moore leave DT?

Because the band was too big....he needed something smaller.
I almost choked on my snack. BRAVO.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on July 27, 2012, 09:44:35 AM: Is that a reference to something? I think I'm missing it.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on July 27, 2012, 09:51:19 AM: Quote from: Orbert on July 27, 2012, 09:44:35 AM
Is that a reference to something? I think I'm missing it.
The Live In Tokyo DVD, where they do shopping in Japan, right before "I don't even like Dream Theater that much" :azn:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on July 27, 2012, 11:45:23 AM: Thanks. I have that DVD, just haven't watched it in a while. This is as good an excuse as any, though. ♫♫
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 27, 2012, 11:47:02 AM: I just didn't connect it to that. I mean, it's not like they made fun of him for being small or anything. Now, if Pettrucci quit, and someone said that DT was too SMALL of a band for him, then I'd understand.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on July 28, 2012, 10:02:54 AM: Quote from: Marion Crane on July 27, 2012, 09:07:04 AM
Why did Kevin Moore leave DT?

Because the band was too big....he needed something smaller.

:clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on July 28, 2012, 10:10:58 AM: Quote from: GasparXR on July 28, 2012, 10:02:54 AM
Quote from: Marion Crane on July 27, 2012, 09:07:04 AM
Why did Kevin Moore leave DT?

Because the band was too big....he needed something smaller.

:clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on July 28, 2012, 10:28:38 AM: Really happy you guys got that one :metal
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ResultsMayVary on July 28, 2012, 10:31:18 AM: Well, done! :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: wasteland on July 28, 2012, 10:32:47 AM: Quote from: Marion Crane on July 28, 2012, 10:28:38 AM
Really happy you guys got that one :metal

Of course we got it. The joke was written in plain Engrish!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on July 28, 2012, 01:02:56 PM: People always forget the "John, would you be my laugh track?", and that one is awesome too.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Western Ninja on July 30, 2012, 04:20:33 AM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on July 27, 2012, 11:47:02 AM
I just didn't connect it to that. I mean, it's not like they made fun of him for being small or anything. Now, if Pettrucci quit, and someone said that DT was too SMALL of a band for him, then I'd understand.

Well he did leave a 5-man band, and then proceed to only take part in solo projects/2-man collaborations, as far as I know. I'd say that was smaller.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 30, 2012, 09:07:21 AM: Well, while we're on that particular DVD...

Why did Mike Portnoy cross the road?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: olliemedsy on July 30, 2012, 09:15:54 AM: If i remember correctly, isnt that on the 5 years in a livetime dvd?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 30, 2012, 09:17:13 AM: Quote from: olliemedsy on July 30, 2012, 09:15:54 AM
If i remember correctly, isnt that on the 5 years in a livetime dvd?

Nope, that was on the Live in Tokyo DVD. But hey:
Q: Why did Mike Portnoy cross the road?
A: To get to the second DVD.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: chrisbDTM on July 30, 2012, 09:19:15 AM: so many quotes from those commentaries. they NEED to do one again

'you can see where the line of our fans stop'
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: olliemedsy on July 30, 2012, 09:19:37 AM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on July 30, 2012, 09:17:13 AM
Quote from: olliemedsy on July 30, 2012, 09:15:54 AM
If i remember correctly, isnt that on the 5 years in a livetime dvd?

Nope, that was on the Live in Tokyo DVD. But hey:
Q: Why did Mike Portnoy cross the road?
A: To get to the second DVD.

well no, coz that is the road where abbey road studios is. thats in london, the tokyo
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Western Ninja on July 30, 2012, 12:09:00 PM: Jay Beckenstein was from Spyro Gyra, yeah?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on July 30, 2012, 12:10:24 PM: Yeah, that was his band, and his studio.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Western Ninja on July 30, 2012, 12:13:13 PM: And that was BearTracks, right?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on July 30, 2012, 12:17:47 PM: Yes
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: chrisbDTM on July 30, 2012, 01:01:55 PM: and then JP saying something along the lines of "James is very sure of himself"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Implode on July 30, 2012, 01:04:11 PM: "I was getting hungry."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on July 30, 2012, 01:17:29 PM: You know? I think this is the most fun I've had in a thread....since Awake....
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: showdonttell on July 30, 2012, 01:21:29 PM: Quote from: Marion Crane on July 27, 2012, 09:07:04 AM
Why did Kevin Moore leave DT?

Because the band was too big....he needed something smaller.
:lol :tup
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: showdonttell on July 30, 2012, 01:22:22 PM: JETLAG, PEOPLE.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: SystematicThought on July 30, 2012, 01:22:38 PM: I think at this point, I was in the back flipping burgers
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on July 30, 2012, 01:23:59 PM: "I think they were serving some really good.... cookies...."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: showdonttell on July 30, 2012, 01:25:14 PM: JLB: Hey John [Myung], what are you playing there?
JM: ........................................... Bass.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: chrisbDTM on July 30, 2012, 01:27:04 PM: He's the bass player, have you guys met?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on July 30, 2012, 01:28:18 PM: Quote from: chrisbDTM on July 30, 2012, 01:01:55 PM
and then JP saying something along the lines of "James is very sure of himself"
That was Mike, actually :)

My favorite goes something like:
Mike: Sorry, John, I interrupted you five minutes ago, what were you going to say?
John: Well the moment is gone now... I was just about to say how good-looking I am!
James: Yeah, me too!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: chrisbDTM on July 30, 2012, 01:30:52 PM: i love take the time where John is trying to say something and JLB's high notes are distracting him hahah
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 30, 2012, 01:33:24 PM: Quote from: olliemedsy on July 30, 2012, 09:19:37 AM
well no, coz that is the road where abbey road studios is. thats in london, the tokyo

Yeah, but not every single little piece of footage used was from Tokyo. I know it was on the Tokyo DVD because my mom was watching the Tokyo DVD with me and she made a comment on the Abbey Road part. And she's never seen the 5YIALT DVD.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on July 30, 2012, 01:58:27 PM: It is the Tokyo DVD, you're right.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: olliemedsy on July 30, 2012, 05:10:58 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on July 30, 2012, 01:33:24 PM
Quote from: olliemedsy on July 30, 2012, 09:19:37 AM
well no, coz that is the road where abbey road studios is. thats in london, the tokyo

Yeah, but not every single little piece of footage used was from Tokyo. I know it was on the Tokyo DVD because my mom was watching the Tokyo DVD with me and she made a comment on the Abbey Road part. And she's never seen the 5YIALT DVD.

oh, fair enough lol. my bad :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: chrisbDTM on July 30, 2012, 05:51:33 PM: watching the tokyo commentary now. regarding mike's leotard:

mike: look at that hair
james: LOOK AT THAT ASS
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Western Ninja on July 30, 2012, 06:53:00 PM: Quote from: showdonttell on July 30, 2012, 01:25:14 PM
JLB: Hey John [Myung], what are you playing there?
JM: ........................................... Bass.

Was everything alright back then?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sycsa on July 30, 2012, 10:06:25 PM: Just flipped through the Mike Portnoy Archives DVDs and it hit me: A Drumatic Turn of Events. It's the most obvious pun ever, *snip*
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on July 31, 2012, 01:08:40 AM: Quote from: chrisbDTM on July 30, 2012, 05:51:33 PM
watching the tokyo commentary now. regarding mike's leotard:

mike: look at that hair
james: LOOK AT THAT ASS
One of my faves too :)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on July 31, 2012, 10:34:51 AM: Quote from: Sycsa on July 30, 2012, 10:06:25 PM
Just flipped trough the Mike Portnoy Archives DVDs and it hit me: A Drumatic Turn of Events. It's the most obvious bad pun ever, although had MP stayed, the album would've been called something else.

Pretty good actually :P

But they didn't name the album about his departure (or so they say)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sycsa on July 31, 2012, 11:44:27 AM: Quote from: jonnybaxy on July 31, 2012, 10:34:51 AM
Quote from: Sycsa on July 30, 2012, 10:06:25 PM
Just flipped trough the Mike Portnoy Archives DVDs and it hit me: A Drumatic Turn of Events. It's the most obvious bad pun ever, although had MP stayed, the album would've been called something else.

Pretty good actually :P

But they didn't name the album about his departure (or so they say)

Yeah, I've also heard that, but it just makes too much sense. Whatever the case, I'll still miss those Archives DVDs.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on August 02, 2012, 03:33:50 AM: What did JM say to Portnoy?

- Eat my bass and balls!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on August 02, 2012, 12:48:44 PM: Quote from: Ruba on August 02, 2012, 03:33:50 AM
What did JM say to Portnoy?

- Eat my bass and balls!

JM didn't just tackle JLB. He killed him, chopped him into little pieces, cooked him, and rolled him into a Canadian Wrap.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: IdoSC on August 02, 2012, 12:57:00 PM: JP: "Sorry, I was interrupted by that note"
JLB: "I think everyone was interrupted by that note"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 02, 2012, 01:08:00 PM: Quote from: IdoSC on August 02, 2012, 12:57:00 PM
JP: "Sorry, I was interrupted by that note"
JLB: "I think everyone was interrupted by that note"

:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MrBoom_shack-a-lack on August 02, 2012, 01:10:55 PM: Not bad jokes but have anyone seen this? It may be old but anyway:

https://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/John_Myung

:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on August 02, 2012, 01:13:16 PM: The "do hair" joke appeared twice throughout the thread and I don't get it. Someone explain?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sketchy on August 02, 2012, 01:17:26 PM: Ah, I forgot about the JM blog. It took me a while to get it when I first saw it, but then realises the joke.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Nekov on August 02, 2012, 01:44:28 PM: Quote from: MoraWintersoul on August 02, 2012, 01:13:16 PM
The "do hair" joke appeared twice throughout the thread and I don't get it. Someone explain?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-s2hYxuonk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-s2hYxuonk)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on August 02, 2012, 02:00:44 PM: Quote from: MrBoom_shack-a-lack on August 02, 2012, 01:10:55 PM
Not bad jokes but have anyone seen this? It may be old but anyway:

https://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/John_Myung

:rollin

Super Myung RPG: The Legend of the 7 Bassists :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on August 02, 2012, 04:29:19 PM: Off MP's uncyclopedia page (discography)

When Straight and Gay Unite (1989)
Just Images, No Words(By John Myung) (1992). This is my favorite :biggrin:
Asleep...Go Away (1994)
A Change Of Keyboardists (1995)
Getting Rid of Virginity (1997)
Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes from a Crappy Porn Movie (1999)
Six Degrees of Inner Flatulence (2002)
Train of Phorn (2003)
Octo-pussy (2005)
Let's Score! 20th Anniversary (2006)
Systematic Phallus (2007)
Black Pimps & Silver Cadillacs (feat. Snoop Dogg) (2009)

↑
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MrBoom_shack-a-lack on August 02, 2012, 04:38:31 PM: Quote
"Myung has only four toes in his right foot. The fifth toe is in fact a mutant third leg which started to grow due to radioactive spits he got from his son Mike Portnoy"
:omg: I did not know!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on August 03, 2012, 09:18:34 AM: Quote from: Nekov on August 02, 2012, 01:44:28 PM
Quote from: MoraWintersoul on August 02, 2012, 01:13:16 PM
The "do hair" joke appeared twice throughout the thread and I don't get it. Someone explain?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-s2hYxuonk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-s2hYxuonk)
I played it. I laughed. I played it again. Diction is not one of JLB's fortes ;D
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Nekov on August 03, 2012, 09:28:08 AM: :lol

I think it's mostly that specific song. There are some other songs that can be miss heard but he just goes for really high notes all the time in that one.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Scorpion on August 03, 2012, 09:29:53 AM: I'm not sure about it being that one song - Sacrificed Sons and Metropolis is pretty bad as well (in terms of lyrical understadibility, the song itself rules).
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 03, 2012, 09:54:43 AM: I've never had any trouble understanding the words in Metropolis.

I've heard people give JLB flak for having lyrics that were difficult to understand, but I don't see why. There are plenty of other artists who I don't understand half the time, including Bruce Dickinson. I have no idea what he's saying in half the Maiden songs.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: chrisbDTM on August 04, 2012, 09:03:59 PM: JP: "the sound of children's laughter, always a pleasant diversion from the evil riffs that are coming out of this place"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: theseoafs on August 04, 2012, 09:11:39 PM: Quote from: MoraWintersoul on August 03, 2012, 09:18:34 AM
Quote from: Nekov on August 02, 2012, 01:44:28 PM
Quote from: MoraWintersoul on August 02, 2012, 01:13:16 PM
The "do hair" joke appeared twice throughout the thread and I don't get it. Someone explain?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-s2hYxuonk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-s2hYxuonk)
I played it. I laughed. I played it again. Diction is not one of JLB's fortes ;D

SOMETHING, SOMETHING! GOD IT'S SUNDAY
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Cedar redaC on August 04, 2012, 09:22:35 PM: Quote from: chrisbDTM on August 04, 2012, 09:03:59 PM
JP: "the sound of children's laughter, always a pleasant diversion from the evil riffs that are coming out of this place"

What is that? that sounds very funny!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on August 05, 2012, 12:05:03 PM: Who is the favourite guitarist of gay men?

Beartrucci.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: SomeoneLikeHim on August 05, 2012, 03:43:45 PM: Quote from: Cedar redaC on August 04, 2012, 09:22:35 PM
Quote from: chrisbDTM on August 04, 2012, 09:03:59 PM
JP: "the sound of children's laughter, always a pleasant diversion from the evil riffs that are coming out of this place"

What is that? that sounds very funny!
I think it's from the "Making of Six Degrees" video
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Cedar redaC on August 05, 2012, 04:18:37 PM: Quote from: SomeoneLikeHim on August 05, 2012, 03:43:45 PM
Quote from: Cedar redaC on August 04, 2012, 09:22:35 PM
Quote from: chrisbDTM on August 04, 2012, 09:03:59 PM
JP: "the sound of children's laughter, always a pleasant diversion from the evil riffs that are coming out of this place"

What is that? that sounds very funny!
I think it's from the "Making of Six Degrees" video
Hmmm, I haven't watched that in a while, so I'll have to youtube it again.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on September 10, 2012, 07:28:45 AM: I always thought SFAM was about a serial killer who murdered a lady named Victoria, cut off all of her body parts and cremated them, save for her breasts. The evidence? It's in Fatal Tragedy. "Victoria's gone forever, only mammories remain"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: SuperTaco on September 13, 2012, 06:23:00 PM: The day Mike Portnoy left the band is a nightmare I don't want to remember :biggrin:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on December 28, 2012, 07:26:52 AM: I came up with a DT joke that isn't particularly funny, but since the thread title is "post bad DT jokes", I assume it belongs here:

What did a groupie say to Kevin Moore after seeing him naked?
-It's too big, I need something smaller!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MrBoom_shack-a-lack on December 28, 2012, 07:29:00 AM: :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sycsa on December 28, 2012, 07:48:51 AM: Quote from: ? on December 28, 2012, 07:26:52 AM
I came up with a DT joke that isn't particularly funny, but since the thread title is "post bad DT jokes", I assume it belongs here:

What did a groupie say to Kevin Moore after seeing him naked?
-It's too big, I need something smaller!
Good one, it reminded me of my favorite DT joke in this topic.

Quote from: Marion Crane on July 27, 2012, 09:07:04 AM
Why did Kevin Moore leave DT?

Because the band was too big....he needed something smaller.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on December 28, 2012, 10:58:49 AM: What happens every time Mike Mangini gives a drum stick to one of his fans?

The fan gets wood.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on December 28, 2012, 12:08:36 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on December 28, 2012, 10:58:49 AM
What happens every time Mike Mangini gives a drum stick to one of his fans?

The fan gets wood.
:metal
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: wasteland on December 28, 2012, 12:15:03 PM: Quote from: MoraWintersoul on December 28, 2012, 12:08:36 PM
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on December 28, 2012, 10:58:49 AM
What happens every time Mike Mangini gives a drum stick to one of his fans?

The fan gets wood.
:metal

:lol :rollin :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheLordOfTheStrings on December 28, 2012, 03:29:36 PM: Mike Portnoy during his last interview in DT:

"Yeah we're gonna be recording a new album at the beginning of next year. But who knows, by the time you see this video, I probably will have been thrown out and some new guy will be the drummer, but.. nahh." *laughs*

I hope you guys get the reference..
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Scorpion on December 28, 2012, 03:33:25 PM: :whatthe:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: wasteland on December 28, 2012, 03:49:20 PM: Quote from: TheLordOfTheStrings on December 28, 2012, 03:29:36 PM
Mike Portnoy during his last interview in DT:

"Yeah we're gonna be recording a new album at the beginning of next year. But who knows, by the time you see this video, I probably will have been thrown out and some new guy will be the drummer, but.. nahh." *laughs*

I hope you guys get the reference..

Is that a joke or...?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on December 28, 2012, 03:53:57 PM: Is that a Charlie Dominici interview? I remember something like that in the I Can Remember When docu.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheLordOfTheStrings on December 28, 2012, 04:09:30 PM: Quote from: MoraWintersoul on December 28, 2012, 03:53:57 PM
Is that a Charlie Dominici interview? I remember something like that in the I Can Remember When docu.

Yes it was.

That was the joke.

:|
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on December 28, 2012, 05:53:06 PM: I'm the only big enough geek to catch on to that? Come on guys, you're letting a 20-year-old with too much time on her hands embarrass you :tdwn
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheLordOfTheStrings on December 28, 2012, 06:19:16 PM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvOM7wH9atI

It's at the end..
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on December 28, 2012, 06:45:17 PM: :tup
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on December 29, 2012, 12:54:49 AM: Quote from: MoraWintersoul on December 28, 2012, 05:53:06 PM
I'm the only big enough geek to catch on to that? Come on guys, you're letting a 20-year-old with too much time on her hands embarrass you :tdwn

No, I caught on right away. I actually thought it was kind of sad when Charlie said it. Ironic as hell, and it's good that he had no hard feelings, but still, kinda sad.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: wasteland on December 29, 2012, 12:55:48 AM: Quote from: TheLordOfTheStrings on December 28, 2012, 06:19:16 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvOM7wH9atI

It's at the end..

But that's the interview I never watched beacuase I don't like the Charlietalk there! :o
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on December 29, 2012, 03:41:27 AM: Well I don't either but I watched it. Dedication, my dear friend. Dedication to pointless things.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: wasteland on December 29, 2012, 03:44:35 AM: Quote from: MoraWintersoul on December 29, 2012, 03:41:27 AM
Well I don't either but I watched it. Dedication, my dear friend. Dedication to pointless things.

Every time someone says a word ending in -ion between commas or as a standalone word/sentence, The Mirror always comes to mind! :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: SomeoneLikeHim on December 29, 2012, 05:39:22 AM: I love how the thread title specifies that we're supposed to post the jokes for fun :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on December 29, 2012, 06:01:14 AM: Quote from: SomeoneLikeHim on December 29, 2012, 05:39:22 AM
I love how the thread title specifies that we're supposed to post the jokes for fun :lol
I honestly thought we were posting them for ANALYSIS. Or INVENTORY.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on December 29, 2012, 06:04:55 AM: Quote from: Sycsa on December 28, 2012, 07:48:51 AM
Quote from: ? on December 28, 2012, 07:26:52 AM
I came up with a DT joke that isn't particularly funny, but since the thread title is "post bad DT jokes", I assume it belongs here:

What did a groupie say to Kevin Moore after seeing him naked?
-It's too big, I need something smaller!
Good one, it reminded me of my favorite DT joke in this topic.

Quote from: Marion Crane on July 27, 2012, 09:07:04 AM
Why did Kevin Moore leave DT?

Because the band was too big....he needed something smaller.
Yeah, I remember that one. It's actually a perfect description of why he quit! :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sketchy on December 29, 2012, 06:06:44 AM: Quote from: MoraWintersoul on December 29, 2012, 06:01:14 AM
Quote from: SomeoneLikeHim on December 29, 2012, 05:39:22 AM
I love how the thread title specifies that we're supposed to post the jokes for fun :lol
I honestly thought we were posting them for ANALYSIS. Or INVENTORY.

Imagine how different The Shattered Fortress would have been if the headings were "FUN", "PISSTAKING" and "TREES".
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on December 29, 2012, 09:35:43 AM: Quote from: ? on December 29, 2012, 06:04:55 AM
Quote from: Marion Crane on July 27, 2012, 09:07:04 AM
Why did Kevin Moore leave DT?

Because the band was too big....he needed something smaller.
Yeah, I remember that one. It's actually a perfect description of why he quit! :lol
Totally!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Cedar redaC on December 30, 2012, 09:52:36 PM: Mike Portnoy went to McDonalds and said "I need some food." When the lady behind the counter asked what he wanted, he said "58 nuggetz".

:icy:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on December 31, 2012, 02:24:32 AM: The guys asked Myung to come up with the title for the 6th track, the big epic on their 6th album. All Myung said was, "6 - Do it."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on December 31, 2012, 10:07:09 AM: :clap: :clap: :clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on December 31, 2012, 10:16:05 AM: Quote from: Cedar redaC on December 30, 2012, 09:52:36 PM
Mike Portnoy went to McDonalds and said "I need some food." When the lady behind the counter asked what he wanted, he said "58 nuggetz".

:icy:

Because even the 20-pack is never enough.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on December 31, 2012, 10:56:50 AM: Fortunately all those packages aren't made of glass, otherwise he could build himself a glass prison at home. But then again, I bet he could easily raise the knife and FIGHT his way out of there and leave that shattered fortress that once bound him, being finally free from the root of all evil. Then he could look in the mirror, just let himself breathe and wait for a new millennium.

ENOUGH NUGGETS?!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on December 31, 2012, 11:29:38 AM: There are never enough nuggets.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Ruba on December 31, 2012, 11:45:24 AM: Quote from: Orbert on December 31, 2012, 11:29:38 AM
There are never enough nuggets.

There are= 8 letters (minus space)
never= 5 letters

5/8

enough= 6 letters, the amount of degrees of inner turbulence

there is five words
the sentence has eigth syllables

Another 5/8!

:neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on December 31, 2012, 12:43:47 PM: True DT fans find nuggets everywhere! :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 29, 2013, 08:20:51 PM: 8. Octavarium (24:00)

(https://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31200000/Ain-t-Nobody-Got-Time-Fo-Dat-sweet-brown-31241125-480-330.jpg?1352423795676)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on January 29, 2013, 08:47:38 PM: JP: "I want pancakes"

MM: "I want seafood"

JP: "Better to save the bisquick then surrender to the sea crab."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 29, 2013, 11:10:55 PM: Quote from: Marion Crane on January 29, 2013, 08:47:38 PM
JP: "I want pancakes"

MM: "I want seafood"

JP: "Better to save the bisquick then surrender to the sea crab."

JM: "...........................................Bass."

FTFY :biggrin:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: philmcson on January 30, 2013, 01:23:21 AM: Which hormone levels are elevated in DT members' wives?

The progesterone levels......
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: wasteland on January 30, 2013, 01:26:36 AM: Quote from: GasparXR on January 29, 2013, 11:10:55 PM
Quote from: Marion Crane on January 29, 2013, 08:47:38 PM
JP: "I want pancakes"

MM: "I want seafood"

JP: "Better to save the bisquick then surrender to the sea crab."

JM: "...........................................Bass."

FTFY :biggrin:

Imagine if JM said that like the actual scream on the song :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 30, 2013, 01:42:40 AM: Quote from: wasteland on January 30, 2013, 01:26:36 AM
Quote from: GasparXR on January 29, 2013, 11:10:55 PM
Quote from: Marion Crane on January 29, 2013, 08:47:38 PM
JP: "I want pancakes"

MM: "I want seafood"

JP: "Better to save the bisquick then surrender to the sea crab."

JM: "...........................................Bass."

FTFY :biggrin:

Imagine if JM said that like the actual scream on the song :lol

That's a song? I just put that there because it's a conversation between DT members. :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Prog Snob on January 30, 2013, 04:42:05 AM: What do you get when you cross Dream Theater and a capricious drummer?

Never Enough
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: wasteland on January 30, 2013, 04:45:39 AM: Quote from: GasparXR on January 30, 2013, 01:42:40 AM
Quote from: wasteland on January 30, 2013, 01:26:36 AM
Quote from: GasparXR on January 29, 2013, 11:10:55 PM
Quote from: Marion Crane on January 29, 2013, 08:47:38 PM
JP: "I want pancakes"

MM: "I want seafood"

JP: "Better to save the bisquick then surrender to the sea crab."

JM: "...........................................Bass."

FTFY :biggrin:

Imagine if JM said that like the actual scream on the song :lol

That's a song? I just put that there because it's a conversation between DT members. :rollin

Only the last two lines! "Betteeer to saaaaaave bisquick... then surrEEEnder to the sea craaaaaaaaaab...... BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 30, 2013, 04:46:33 AM: What do you get when you cross DTF?

Kevin Moore, or The Count of Tuscany.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on January 30, 2013, 09:09:28 AM: Remember when Jordan saved some guy's life on Lake Huron? I heard a rumor that he killed someone to do that - you could ask if he was justified in taking LIFE TO SAVE LIFE!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: BlobVanDam on January 30, 2013, 09:13:53 AM: Quote from: ? on January 30, 2013, 09:09:28 AM
Remember when Jordan saved some guy's life on Lake Huron? I heard a rumor that he killed someone to do that - you could ask if he was justified in taking LIFE TO SAVE LIFE!

He said he was ok with it because he believes that after you're gone, the spirit carries on.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on January 30, 2013, 09:25:07 AM: So you could say that... *puts sunglasses on* ...he believes in the Afterlife?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: DebraKadabra on January 30, 2013, 01:28:29 PM: :lhk:

Quote from: GasparXR on January 30, 2013, 04:46:33 AM
What do you get when you cross DTF?

Kevin Moore, or The Count of Tuscany.

ALWAYS.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on January 30, 2013, 02:45:47 PM: You know what? This is quite possibly the most fun I've had in a thread.....since Awake.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheLordOfTheStrings on January 30, 2013, 04:11:30 PM: Quote from: Marion Crane on January 30, 2013, 02:45:47 PM
You know what? This is quite possibly the most fun I've had in a thread.....since Awake.
:rollin :rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 30, 2013, 04:18:22 PM: Quote from: Marion Crane on January 30, 2013, 02:45:47 PM
You know what? This is quite possibly the most fun I've had in a thread.....since Awake.

:rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Scorpion on February 04, 2013, 03:55:43 PM: Only rumby will probably get this one, since it's related to German news, but:

Which DT song is related to sexual harassment?

#outcry

:rollin :rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on February 04, 2013, 05:47:22 PM: Whats JMX's favorite fish?

........Bass.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mindflux on February 04, 2013, 06:10:56 PM: Quote from: jonnybaxy on February 04, 2013, 05:47:22 PM
Whats JMX's favorite fish?

........Bass.

That was horrible. HORRIBLE.

:facepalm:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: m0hawk on February 04, 2013, 06:27:23 PM: Quote from: jonnybaxy on February 04, 2013, 05:47:22 PM
Whats JMX's favorite fish?

........Bass.

:D
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: theseoafs on February 04, 2013, 06:28:05 PM: Probably the first joke in this thread to actually make me laugh. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on February 04, 2013, 11:10:36 PM: Some people say DT's new drummer is a dick, others say he's a pussy. But he's both. He's Mangina!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on February 05, 2013, 07:36:07 AM: Quote from: jonnybaxy on February 04, 2013, 05:47:22 PM
Whats JMX's favorite fish?

........Bass.
"What were you fishing there, John?"

"......Bass."

And if you asked Petrucci:

"......Salmon."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on February 05, 2013, 12:30:27 PM: Quote from: Mindflux on February 04, 2013, 06:10:56 PM
Quote from: jonnybaxy on February 04, 2013, 05:47:22 PM
Whats JMX's favorite fish?

........Bass.

That was horrible. HORRIBLE.

:facepalm:

I know! I'm sorry :blush
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Onno on February 05, 2013, 03:41:28 PM: Quote from: jonnybaxy on February 04, 2013, 05:47:22 PM
Whats JMX's favorite fish?

........Bass.

:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on February 07, 2013, 11:46:45 AM: Quote from: ? on February 05, 2013, 07:36:07 AM
Quote from: jonnybaxy on February 04, 2013, 05:47:22 PM
Whats JMX's favorite fish?

........Bass.
"What were you fishing there, John?"

"......Bass."

And if you asked Petrucci:

"......Salmon."

Mike portnoy doesn't have a favorite fish. He usually just goes for carp e diem.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on February 09, 2013, 08:42:43 AM: ^James LaBrie, on the other hand, likes tuna sea crap.

WHAAAALE!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on February 09, 2013, 12:02:34 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on February 07, 2013, 11:46:45 AM
Quote from: ? on February 05, 2013, 07:36:07 AM
Quote from: jonnybaxy on February 04, 2013, 05:47:22 PM
Whats JMX's favorite fish?

........Bass.
"What were you fishing there, John?"

"......Bass."

And if you asked Petrucci:

"......Salmon."

Mike portnoy doesn't have a favorite fish. He usually just goes for carp e diem.

:clap:

He'd try and get it but Beartrucci would SEIZE THE FISH
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheLordOfTheStrings on February 09, 2013, 01:50:17 PM: Quote from: Kotowboy on February 09, 2013, 12:02:34 PM
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on February 07, 2013, 11:46:45 AM
Quote from: ? on February 05, 2013, 07:36:07 AM
Quote from: jonnybaxy on February 04, 2013, 05:47:22 PM
Whats JMX's favorite fish?

........Bass.
"What were you fishing there, John?"

"......Bass."

And if you asked Petrucci:

"......Salmon."

Mike portnoy doesn't have a favorite fish. He usually just goes for carp e diem.

:clap:

He'd try and get it but Beartrucci would SEIZE THE FISH

And Mike would be all "Hey John... "

COME AND HAVE A TASTE
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on March 07, 2013, 03:56:12 AM: What's Steven Wilson's favorite DT song?

Surrounded :neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on March 07, 2013, 07:01:29 AM: How many members of Dream Theater does it take to change a lightbulb?

It should take no more than one member to get the job done.

(https://www.seriouscat.com/serious_cat_is_serious.jpg)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on March 21, 2013, 01:23:38 AM: In trying to combine the lyrics of When Dream and Day Unite with the lyrics of A Dramatic Turn of Events, I seem to have trampled the lost not forgotten ones who help to set the sun, come shine my way. :|
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on March 21, 2013, 02:14:53 AM: Or how about this?

How many Dream Theater members does it take to change the light bulb?

One:

John Petrucci's muscles are too big. He'd crush the bulb.
Jordan Rudess' fingers won't stop moving. He can't even pick it up.
John Myung prefers total darkness.
James LaBrie is a pirate. He doesn't believe in technology.

That only leaves Mike Mangini.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on March 21, 2013, 12:01:47 PM: But mangin just keeps hitting it.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on March 22, 2013, 07:31:33 AM: Which DT lyrics do overobsessed stalkers like the most?

Don't Look Past Me (or at least the first few lines) :footloose:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: slycordinator on March 22, 2013, 05:08:42 PM: Quote from: ? on January 30, 2013, 09:09:28 AM
Remember when Jordan saved some guy's life on Lake Huron?
Yeah, the guy almost pulled him under.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Cedar redaC on March 22, 2013, 05:25:08 PM: Quote from: slycordinator on March 22, 2013, 05:08:42 PM
Quote from: ? on January 30, 2013, 09:09:28 AM
Remember when Jordan saved some guy's life on Lake Huron?
Yeah, the guy almost pulled him under.
Thankfully, everyone survived.

ROOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 01:06:16 PM: Quote from: Cedar redaC on March 22, 2013, 05:25:08 PM
Quote from: slycordinator on March 22, 2013, 05:08:42 PM
Quote from: ? on January 30, 2013, 09:09:28 AM
Remember when Jordan saved some guy's life on Lake Huron?
Yeah, the guy almost pulled him under.
Thankfully, everyone survived.

ROOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!

Wait there was that one drummer that died.... (please get it someone)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on March 23, 2013, 01:19:40 PM: Quote from: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 01:06:16 PM
Wait there was that one drummer that died.... (please get it someone)

Didn't every drummer die? One of them from spontaneous combustion?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on March 23, 2013, 01:20:19 PM: Quote from: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 01:06:16 PM
Quote from: Cedar redaC on March 22, 2013, 05:25:08 PM
Quote from: slycordinator on March 22, 2013, 05:08:42 PM
Quote from: ? on January 30, 2013, 09:09:28 AM
Remember when Jordan saved some guy's life on Lake Huron?
Yeah, the guy almost pulled him under.
Thankfully, everyone survived.

ROOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!

Wait there was that one drummer that died.... (please get it someone)
Wow, right at the audition? :biggrin:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on March 23, 2013, 01:21:15 PM: Couldn't take the heat.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 01:37:35 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on March 23, 2013, 01:19:40 PM
Quote from: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 01:06:16 PM
Wait there was that one drummer that died.... (please get it someone)

Didn't every drummer die? One of them from spontaneous combustion?

Spinal tap reference? :metal
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on March 23, 2013, 01:44:53 PM: Quote from: MoraWintersoul on March 23, 2013, 01:20:19 PM
Quote from: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 01:06:16 PM
Quote from: Cedar redaC on March 22, 2013, 05:25:08 PM
Quote from: slycordinator on March 22, 2013, 05:08:42 PM
Quote from: ? on January 30, 2013, 09:09:28 AM
Remember when Jordan saved some guy's life on Lake Huron?
Yeah, the guy almost pulled him under.
Thankfully, everyone survived.

ROOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!

Wait there was that one drummer that died.... (please get it someone)
Wow, right at the audition? :biggrin:
No, it happened on the lake. Maybe he had a dream that only drowned him, his demons were coming to drown him, his human spirit drowned, or perhaps he drowned in hesitation? So many ways to drown a man... Luckily Jordan still swam to save the other guy, even though the water was much colder then.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 02:06:11 PM: Quote from: ? on March 23, 2013, 01:44:53 PM
Quote from: MoraWintersoul on March 23, 2013, 01:20:19 PM
Quote from: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 01:06:16 PM
Quote from: Cedar redaC on March 22, 2013, 05:25:08 PM
Quote from: slycordinator on March 22, 2013, 05:08:42 PM
Quote from: ? on January 30, 2013, 09:09:28 AM
Remember when Jordan saved some guy's life on Lake Huron?
Yeah, the guy almost pulled him under.
Thankfully, everyone survived.

ROOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!

Wait there was that one drummer that died.... (please get it someone)
Wow, right at the audition? :biggrin:
No, it happened on the lake. Maybe he had a dream that only drowned him, his demons were coming to drown him, his human spirit drowned, or perhaps he drowned in hesitation? So many ways to drown a man... Luckily Jordan still swam to save the other guy, even though the water was much colder then.

The water was so cold, his anus tightened to an extreme degree, it'll never be open again.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on March 23, 2013, 03:05:43 PM: Quote from: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 01:37:35 PM
Spinal tap reference? :metal

:tup
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: philmcson on March 25, 2013, 08:27:50 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on March 23, 2013, 03:05:43 PM
Quote from: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 01:37:35 PM
Spinal tap reference? :metal

:tup

Isn't it called Spinal Pap?! :huh:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on March 25, 2013, 08:38:28 PM: Quote from: philmcson on March 25, 2013, 08:27:50 PM
Isn't it called Spinal Pap?! :huh:

No... Is that another joke I'm not getting?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on March 26, 2013, 10:12:03 PM: I don't know if this one has been said yet, but...

On September 9, 2010, Mike Portnoy gathered the band together and said, "I think it's about time we addressed the elephant on the cover."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on March 27, 2013, 11:22:39 AM: But nevertheless they STILL used Hugh Syme for the next artwork..

:facepalm:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Dublagent66 on March 27, 2013, 03:48:27 PM: Yeah, they should've used Mr. Janis instead. I believe his name is Hugh also. :omg:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on June 11, 2013, 03:38:31 PM: Open your eyes, ~~Victoria~~ Nicholas.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheLordOfTheStrings on June 11, 2013, 03:49:32 PM: Quote from: philmcson on March 25, 2013, 08:27:50 PM
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on March 23, 2013, 03:05:43 PM
Quote from: jonnybaxy on March 23, 2013, 01:37:35 PM
Spinal tap reference? :metal

:tup

Isn't it called Spinal Pap?! :huh:
Sounds like an all girl tribute band to Spinal Tap.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: DebraKadabra on June 11, 2013, 07:27:38 PM: Quote from: lateralus88 on June 11, 2013, 09:20:30 AM
Through Her Eyes is about skull-fucking.

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :heart
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on June 11, 2013, 07:28:57 PM: Michael Portnoy had a band

E I E I ....

...oh :sad:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: DebraKadabra on June 11, 2013, 07:30:28 PM: :o

:lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: aprilethereal on June 11, 2013, 10:47:24 PM: :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on June 12, 2013, 08:06:48 AM: If some musician announced that their collaboration album with JP will be delayed, what would they say in the press release?

Bear with me :neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: aprilethereal on June 12, 2013, 08:22:49 AM: Quote from: ? on June 12, 2013, 08:06:48 AM
If some musician announced that their collaboration album with JP will be delayed, what would they say in the press release?

Bear with me :neverusethis:
:|

:lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 18, 2013, 12:20:51 PM: I hear they're planning to build a concert hall in honor of Eric Clapton.

They want to call it Cream Theater.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: King Postwhore on August 18, 2013, 12:25:48 PM: John Myung walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. A patron asked him where he got him the parrot responds, "On loan from James."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 18, 2013, 12:42:39 PM: Quote from: kingshmegland on August 18, 2013, 12:25:48 PM
John Myung walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. A patron asked him where he got him the parrot responds, "On loan from James."

:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on August 18, 2013, 01:12:20 PM: And they heard his godly drumming and said :

" Be You Angel ? "

And the man replied :

" Nay - I am but MAN..........gini........"

:coolio

And they said " you are a genie ?! " :o

And the man spake saying :

" ..um....no...err...forget everything. listen to my paradiddlediddlediddles :D "
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: XB0BX on August 18, 2013, 03:04:27 PM: *Knock knock*
"Who's there?"
"..."
"Come in, John"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Shadow Ninja 2.0 on August 18, 2013, 03:05:32 PM: lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Lucien on August 18, 2013, 03:15:29 PM: Mangini has a drum clinic with many of his students.

A few days later, he had another one with the same students, who had all become very tan within those days.

Mangini asked, why are you all so tan?

You told us to work on our toooonnnne!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on August 18, 2013, 03:44:57 PM: Quote from: Lucien on August 18, 2013, 03:15:29 PM
Mangini has a drum clinic with many of his students.

A few days later, he had another one with the same students, who had all become very tan within those days.

Mangini asked, why are you all so tan?

You told us to work on our toooonnnne!

I wonder if their bodies were well after that!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 18, 2013, 08:09:39 PM: Mike Mangini was testing his snare and cymbal...
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: theseoafs on August 18, 2013, 08:25:56 PM: Quote from: Kotowboy on August 18, 2013, 01:12:20 PM
And they heard his godly drumming and said :

" Be You Angel ? "

And the man replied :

"I'M NO ANGELLLLL, CAN'T YOU SEEEEEEEEE"

FTFY
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: rumborak on August 18, 2013, 08:49:19 PM: Interviewer: "So, what project is the one most worth listening to?"

MP: "Oh, next to none."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: mikemangioy on August 20, 2013, 06:29:39 AM: What does MLK got?
He has a Dream

...Theater CD.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on August 20, 2013, 08:05:02 AM: Ouch.

And yet, I chuckled.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 20, 2013, 12:41:00 PM: Where does Mike Mangini live?

Inside a magic lamp.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: lyfeternl on August 20, 2013, 01:05:27 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on August 20, 2013, 12:41:00 PM
Where does Mike Mangini live?

Inside a magic lamp.

False. Boston. You lose.

:neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 20, 2013, 01:23:58 PM: Quote from: lyfeternl on August 20, 2013, 01:05:27 PM
False. Boston. You lose.

I never said the magic lamp wasn't IN Boston. So there!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: lyfeternl on August 20, 2013, 01:29:10 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on August 20, 2013, 01:23:58 PM
Quote from: lyfeternl on August 20, 2013, 01:05:27 PM
False. Boston. You lose.

I never said the magic lamp wasn't IN Boston. So there!

Oh, snap!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on August 20, 2013, 03:38:49 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on August 20, 2013, 01:23:58 PM
Quote from: lyfeternl on August 20, 2013, 01:05:27 PM
False. Boston. You lose.

I never said the magic lamp wasn't Boston. So there!

I guess genies are unique to the location. :neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: King Postwhore on August 20, 2013, 03:40:05 PM: That Genie is wickid pissa then.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 20, 2013, 03:42:09 PM: What did Jordan Rudess say to the little kid from Pet Cemetery?

"I'll see you on the road."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on August 20, 2013, 03:47:18 PM: How Many Petrucci's does it take to change a lightbulb ?

None. Petrucci simply looks at the light bulb and it changes it's self.

Or else.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on August 20, 2013, 03:47:31 PM: My favorite DT joke?

The 5/8 forums
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 20, 2013, 03:50:08 PM: Quote from: Marion Crane on August 20, 2013, 03:47:31 PM
My favorite DT joke?

The 5/8 forums

Yeah, that is a pretty bad joke..
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on August 20, 2013, 03:52:56 PM: :tup
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on August 20, 2013, 04:04:40 PM: Quote from: Marion Crane on August 20, 2013, 03:47:31 PM
My favorite DT joke?

The 5/8 forums

Nugg3tz
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Lucien on August 20, 2013, 04:23:49 PM: Quote from: Kotowboy on August 20, 2013, 03:47:18 PM
How Many Petrucci's does it take to change a lightbulb ?

None. Petrucci simply looks at the light bulb and it changes it's self.

Or else.

When Chuck Norris dies, John Petrucci will take his place.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 20, 2013, 04:30:46 PM: Quote from: Lucien on August 20, 2013, 04:23:49 PM
When Chuck Norris dies, John Petrucci will take his place.

The only way Chuck Norris can die is if his beard faces off against JR's beard. And yes, JR is sure to win.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: RodrigoAltaf on August 20, 2013, 05:54:41 PM: When John Petrucci goes for a swim he doesn´t get wet - the water gets petruccied.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on August 20, 2013, 05:57:13 PM: Life without John Petrucci would be un-bear-able.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 20, 2013, 05:58:27 PM: When Mike Portnoy quit the band, Petrucci had to grin and bear it.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on August 20, 2013, 06:00:14 PM: When Petrucci went over to JMX's house to introduce his kids - he said " John ? My young. "
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 20, 2013, 06:11:48 PM: What's James' favorite cheese?

Brie.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: aprilethereal on August 21, 2013, 12:15:10 AM: The jokes on this page are so bad and so awesome at the same time :lol :clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 21, 2013, 12:20:58 AM: On the final day of the drummer auditions, a nymphomaniac on the prowl came into the studio.
Jordan Rudess said, "But we're all happily married. Who's going to satisfy this horny slut?"
To which James LaBrie replied, "I know! Peter Will do 'er."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: aprilethereal on August 21, 2013, 12:47:56 AM: :lolpalm:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on August 21, 2013, 03:00:47 AM: WHEN PORNTOY QUIT THE BAND - PETRUCCI SAID " I COULD NOT BEAR LESS TO BE QUITE HONEST !!! "
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 21, 2013, 03:20:07 AM: What was John Petrucci's favorite studio?

BearTracks! :neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on August 21, 2013, 03:24:06 AM: Dees John Myung speak ?

Yes. Although he is very private and prefers not to if the situation does not call for it.

(https://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-ash2/41793_20708934598_1411_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 21, 2013, 03:47:00 AM: James LaBrie and Jay Beckenstein walk into a Greek restaurant.
Jame says, "I'll have the lamb shank. And Jay, you'll have the... Spyro Gyro, right?"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on August 21, 2013, 03:48:48 AM: Adrenaline Mob.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on August 21, 2013, 03:50:48 AM: Quote from: Kotowboy on August 21, 2013, 03:48:48 AM
Adrenaline Mob.

It's like a George Bush joke, it doesn't really apply anymore.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on August 21, 2013, 04:01:13 AM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on August 21, 2013, 03:50:48 AM
Quote from: Kotowboy on August 21, 2013, 03:48:48 AM
Adrenaline Mob.

It's like a George Bush joke, it doesn't really apply anymore.

Mike Portnoy.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: BlobVanDam on August 21, 2013, 04:05:59 AM: Quote from: Kotowboy on August 21, 2013, 04:01:13 AM
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on August 21, 2013, 03:50:48 AM
Quote from: Kotowboy on August 21, 2013, 03:48:48 AM
Adrenaline Mob.

It's like a George Bush joke, it doesn't really apply anymore.

Mike Portnoy.

Kotowboy.

Am I doing it right?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Bolsters on August 21, 2013, 04:08:18 AM: Quote from: BlobVanDam on August 21, 2013, 04:05:59 AM
Kotowboy.
:rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on August 21, 2013, 04:08:24 AM: Aussie twat who thinks he's a mod.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: hefdaddy42 on August 21, 2013, 07:10:58 AM: Quote from: Kotowboy on August 21, 2013, 04:08:24 AM
Aussie twat who thinks he's a mod.
Cut it out. No need for this, especially after the anti-MP things you've been posting.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Scorpion on August 21, 2013, 12:54:34 PM: Quote from: Marion Crane on August 20, 2013, 03:47:31 PM
My favorite DT joke?

The 5/8 forums

Eh, it can be quite an entertaining read if they're not trying to beat each other in bashing DT.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on August 30, 2013, 10:22:37 AM: I'd love to see the following scenario become reality:

*encore begins*
James: Do you wanna hear some MOOOOOORRREEEE?
audience: yyyyeeeaaaahhh
James: Alright, here's a song written by him
*Jordan starts playing Space-Dye Vest*
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: liran95 on August 30, 2013, 10:27:00 AM: Quote from: ? on August 30, 2013, 10:22:37 AM
I'd love to see the following scenario become reality:

*encore begins*
James: Do you wanna hear some MOOOOOORRREEEE?
audience: yyyyeeeaaaahhh
James: Alright, here's a song written by him
*Jordan starts playing Space-Dye Vest*

:rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ProgressiveIce on August 30, 2013, 03:44:11 PM: :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: BlobVanDam on August 30, 2013, 09:20:59 PM: Quote from: ? on August 30, 2013, 10:22:37 AM
I'd love to see the following scenario become reality:

*encore begins*
James: Do you wanna hear some MOOOOOORRREEEE?
audience: yyyyeeeaaaahhh
James: Alright, here's a song written by him
*Jordan starts playing Space-Dye Vest*

:marriageanalogy:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mosh on August 30, 2013, 10:41:49 PM: Quote from: ? on August 30, 2013, 10:22:37 AM
I'd love to see the following scenario become reality:

*encore begins*
James: Do you wanna hear some MOOOOOORRREEEE?
audience: yyyyeeeaaaahhh
James: Alright, here's a song written by him
*Jordan starts playing Space-Dye Vest*
As if I didn't have enough reasons to want them to play that song live. :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on September 01, 2013, 04:22:24 AM: What did John Myung say when he found out about the bonus disc on the deluxe edition of Black Clouds & Silver Linings?

"I've got basses to cover."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on September 01, 2013, 07:34:19 AM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on September 01, 2013, 04:22:24 AM
What did John Myung say when he found out about the bonus disc on the deluxe edition of Black Clouds & Silver Linings?

...
FTFY
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jonnybaxy on September 01, 2013, 02:29:27 PM: Quote from: Grizz on September 01, 2013, 07:34:19 AM
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on September 01, 2013, 04:22:24 AM
What did John Myung say when he found out about the bonus disc on the deluxe edition of Black Clouds & Silver Linings?

...Bass
FTFY

Fixed again
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Captain Reddot on September 03, 2013, 12:05:46 PM: I wonder if John Petrucci practices yoga.

Then we could call him 'Yogi Bear'
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Marion Crane on September 03, 2013, 03:55:48 PM: What was the name of the inn that Gandalf asked James LaBrie to meet him at in the town of Bree?

The Dancing Turtle
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on September 03, 2013, 06:40:49 PM: That was a really middle of the earth joke.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on September 03, 2013, 09:32:17 PM: If Mike Portnoy was James LaBrie's pirate rival, what would Portnoy's pirate name be?

Captain Blue Beard
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: m0hawk on September 03, 2013, 10:12:42 PM: When Mike Portnoy dumped his long-term girlfriend Dream Theater, what was his explanation?

"It's you, not me"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on January 24, 2014, 12:10:42 PM: Why does Dream Theater's baseball team always win?

Because they have the bigger pitcher.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sycsa on January 24, 2014, 12:13:08 PM: Quote from: m0hawk on September 03, 2013, 10:12:42 PM
When Mike Portnoy dumped his long-term girlfriend Dream Theater, what was his explanation?

"It's you, not me"
:lol George Costanza approves!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Prog Snob on January 24, 2014, 12:14:54 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on September 03, 2013, 09:32:17 PM
If Mike Portnoy was James LaBrie's pirate rival, what would Portnoy's pirate name be?

Captain Blue Beard

I was thinking Captain Turncoat
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sacul on January 24, 2014, 12:54:50 PM: (https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1/5741_10151838278236825_592343840_n.jpg)
Godtrucci having some small mamals as breakfast.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on January 24, 2014, 12:55:43 PM: Quote from: Marion Crane on September 03, 2013, 03:55:48 PM
What was the name of the inn that Gandalf asked James LaBrie to meet him at in the town of Bree?

The Dancing Turtle
aw man :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on January 24, 2014, 12:59:53 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on January 24, 2014, 12:10:42 PM
Why does Dream Theater's baseball team always win?

Because they have the bigger pitcher.

:lolpalm:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: The Holy Tune on January 24, 2014, 04:48:09 PM: Quote from: ? on August 30, 2013, 10:22:37 AM
I'd love to see the following scenario become reality:

*encore begins*
James: Do you wanna hear some MOOOOOORRREEEE?
audience: yyyyeeeaaaahhh
James: Alright, here's a song written by him
*Jordan starts playing Space-Dye Vest*

Oh well, not an encore, but they played it!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zyzzyva17 on January 24, 2014, 05:09:21 PM: Why did James Labrie stop eating at the seafood restaurant?
They kept on burning his sole.

What Dream Theater song can treat anxiety disorders?
Octavalium

What was the mathematician's favorite Dream Theater song?
Lie (most people won't get this one)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on January 24, 2014, 05:21:57 PM: Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on January 24, 2014, 05:09:21 PM
What Dream Theater song can treat anxiety disorders?
Octavalium

A higher dosage he prescribes?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on January 24, 2014, 05:25:26 PM: Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on January 24, 2014, 05:09:21 PM
Why did James Labrie stop eating at the seafood restaurant?
They kept on burning his sole.

:lol

Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on January 24, 2014, 05:09:21 PM
What was the mathematician's favorite Dream Theater song?
Lie (most people won't get this one)

I'm a mathematician, and I don't get this one. ???
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zyzzyva17 on January 24, 2014, 05:37:26 PM: Quote from: Orbert on January 24, 2014, 05:25:26 PM
Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on January 24, 2014, 05:09:21 PM
What was the mathematician's favorite Dream Theater song?
Lie (most people won't get this one)

I'm a mathematician, and I don't get this one. ???

Sophus Lie (pronounced "lee") is a semi-famous mathematician, though most is his work is taught in graduate level pure mathematics courses. Perhaps you've heard of Lie algebra?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 24, 2014, 07:49:46 PM: Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on January 24, 2014, 05:37:26 PM
Quote from: Orbert on January 24, 2014, 05:25:26 PM
Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on January 24, 2014, 05:09:21 PM
What was the mathematician's favorite Dream Theater song?
Lie (most people won't get this one)

I'm a mathematician, and I don't get this one. ???

Sophus Lie (pronounced "lee") is a semi-famous mathematician, though most is his work is taught in graduate level pure mathematics courses. Perhaps you've heard of Lie algebra?

So what you're saying is.... Anna Lie?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on January 24, 2014, 10:18:25 PM: Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on January 24, 2014, 05:37:26 PM
Quote from: Orbert on January 24, 2014, 05:25:26 PM
Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on January 24, 2014, 05:09:21 PM
What was the mathematician's favorite Dream Theater song?
Lie (most people won't get this one)

I'm a mathematician, and I don't get this one. ???

Sophus Lie (pronounced "lee") is a semi-famous mathematician, though most is his work is taught in graduate level pure mathematics courses. Perhaps you've heard of Lie algebra?

Never. But then, I'm not a very good mathematician.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Viking of the Sagas on January 25, 2014, 06:38:20 AM: A man walks up to an agent. He tells him that he's got a play. So the agent asks him to tell what's in the play.

"First Dream Theater gets on stage. They play their ass off, everyone's having fun. Then right in the middle of "Ministry of Lost Soul"'s instrumental part, Mangini starts flinging shit at Rudess. How does he accomplish this? Petrucci grabs the turds while playing solos with the five fingers of his left hand, handing them to Mangini who then proceeds to toss them at the band members inbetween drum fills. Jordan gets tired of all the shit, grabs his keyboard and starts beating on Mangini with it (he doesn't have anything to play there anyway). Then suddenly Mangini turns into a cookie monster robot and --"

The agent interrupts him with a look of pure disgust. "Hold on, I don't wanna hear anything else. Can you tell me what's its name?"

"The Aristocrats."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on January 25, 2014, 08:28:33 AM: Whoa.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: AngelBack on January 25, 2014, 08:53:00 AM: A white guy, a black guy and a jew walk into a bar. The bar tender walks up to them and says,......."Kevin Moore".
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sacul on January 25, 2014, 09:11:25 AM: While studying at Julliard, Jordan fingered a girl. Some years later, he told about that vast adventure to James. Anyways, we may never really know what the hell is Medicate about.

George R.R. Martin is writing a book about JP's guitars. By now, it's called Game of Tones
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on January 26, 2014, 03:27:39 PM: I didn't get any of the last four except Game of Tones
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Shadow Ninja 2.0 on January 26, 2014, 03:29:41 PM: Chris Collins.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Lucien on January 26, 2014, 04:50:25 PM: Quote from: Viking of the Sagas on January 25, 2014, 06:38:20 AM
A man walks up to an agent. He tells him that he's got a play. So the agent asks him to tell what's in the play.

"First Dream Theater gets on stage. They play their ass off, everyone's having fun. Then right in the middle of "Ministry of Lost Soul"'s instrumental part, Mangini starts flinging shit at Rudess. How does he accomplish this? Petrucci grabs the turds while playing solos with the five fingers of his left hand, handing them to Mangini who then proceeds to toss them at the band members inbetween drum fills. Jordan gets tired of all the shit, grabs his keyboard and starts beating on Mangini with it (he doesn't have anything to play there anyway). Then suddenly Mangini turns into a cookie monster robot and --"

The agent interrupts him with a look of pure disgust. "Hold on, I don't wanna hear anything else. Can you tell me what's its name?"

"The Aristocrats."

Well, all I can decipher from this is that Marco Minnemann is in The Aristocrats, so take it from there ::)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Lucidity on January 26, 2014, 04:52:08 PM: Quote from: Lucien on January 26, 2014, 04:50:25 PM
Quote from: Viking of the Sagas on January 25, 2014, 06:38:20 AM
A man walks up to an agent. He tells him that he's got a play. So the agent asks him to tell what's in the play.

"First Dream Theater gets on stage. They play their ass off, everyone's having fun. Then right in the middle of "Ministry of Lost Soul"'s instrumental part, Mangini starts flinging shit at Rudess. How does he accomplish this? Petrucci grabs the turds while playing solos with the five fingers of his left hand, handing them to Mangini who then proceeds to toss them at the band members inbetween drum fills. Jordan gets tired of all the shit, grabs his keyboard and starts beating on Mangini with it (he doesn't have anything to play there anyway). Then suddenly Mangini turns into a cookie monster robot and --"

The agent interrupts him with a look of pure disgust. "Hold on, I don't wanna hear anything else. Can you tell me what's its name?"

"The Aristocrats."

Well, all I can decipher from this is that Marco Minnemann is in The Aristocrats, so take it from there ::)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Lucien on January 26, 2014, 04:59:09 PM: Never heard of that term :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sycsa on January 26, 2014, 10:23:45 PM: Quote from: Lucien on January 26, 2014, 04:59:09 PM
Never heard of that term :lol
You can continue here, it'll give you the gist of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Z9cx1MG8w
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Lucien on January 26, 2014, 10:48:41 PM: Holy. Literal. Fuck.

:rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: genome on January 27, 2014, 05:48:45 AM: Why is yo mama so fat?

Because you are caught up in her graaaaaavity
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Onno on January 27, 2014, 11:45:56 AM: Quote from: genome on January 27, 2014, 05:48:45 AM
Why is yo mama so fat?

Because you are caught up in her graaaaaavity
:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 27, 2014, 02:37:27 PM: Quote from: genome on January 27, 2014, 05:48:45 AM
Why is yo mama so fat?

Because you are caught up in her graaaaaavity

:clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on January 27, 2014, 02:44:24 PM: Isn't it the other way around? Yo momma's so fat, you're caught up in her gravity.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 27, 2014, 03:32:18 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on January 27, 2014, 02:44:24 PM
Isn't it the other way around? Yo momma's so fat, you're caught up in her gravity.

...That's exactly what he said. :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on January 27, 2014, 03:52:59 PM: No, he said it the other way around, as TGP stated. Cause and effect are reversed.

Quote from: genome on January 27, 2014, 05:48:45 AM
Why is yo mama so fat?

Because you are caught up in her graaaaaavity

You are caught up in her gravity; that is why she is so fat. (This makes no sense, but it is a correct paraphrase.)

Quote from: TheGreatPretender on January 27, 2014, 02:44:24 PM
Isn't it the other way around? Yo momma's so fat, you're caught up in her gravity.

She is so fat that she actually has enough mass to create a gravitational field, and you are caught up in her gravity. (This is more scientifically accurate.)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: genome on January 27, 2014, 03:56:34 PM: I should've put quotation marks around "yo mama so fat". The question is more of a "why does this statement apply?", rather than, "why is she fat?"

Anyway, as the famous saying goes, analysing a joke is like dissecting a frog. No-one has any fun and the frog dies.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on January 27, 2014, 03:58:11 PM: Dissecting frogs is fun. You learn a lot, and the frog dies.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Lucien on January 27, 2014, 05:25:18 PM: Quote from: Orbert on January 27, 2014, 03:58:11 PM
Dissecting frogs is fun. You learn a lot, and the frog dies.

Implying the frog wasn't already dead lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on January 27, 2014, 06:01:52 PM: lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Shadow2222 on January 27, 2014, 06:41:47 PM: A guy and gal have sex together. They don't use any protection, as the guy thought he was sterile. During sex, the guy completely zonks out, but not before managing to "finish," which ends up, unbelievably, getting the girl pregnant. What did they call him?

The Miracle AND the Sleeper
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on January 27, 2014, 07:56:46 PM: :clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sycsa on January 27, 2014, 09:45:36 PM: The title of the topic always gives me a little chuckle. As if I wanted to post jokes for reasons other than fun. :hat
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zyzzyva17 on January 27, 2014, 10:16:37 PM: LaBrie wrote revised lyrics to the "Raise the Knife" demo. He called it "Lift the Fork."

Where does the first dancing turtle live? In his solitary shell.

Billy wanted to test his knowledge of birds. He got 500 sheets of paper. On each one, he put a picture of a bird on one side, and wrote the bird species on the other side. He then proceeded to go through each picture and try to identify the species...he was listing sparrows off a ream.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Onno on January 28, 2014, 02:33:55 AM: :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :tup
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on January 28, 2014, 10:12:28 AM: Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on January 27, 2014, 10:16:37 PM
Billy wanted to test his knowledge of birds. He got 500 sheets of paper. On each one, he put a picture of a bird on one side, and wrote the bird species on the other side. He then proceeded to go through each picture and try to identify the species...he was listing sparrows off a ream.
:lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Azazello on January 31, 2014, 02:30:56 PM: What does a DT fan say when he finds out his exam grade?

"I don't understand. I don't feel that I deserve this. What did I do wrong? I just don't understand."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on January 31, 2014, 03:20:08 PM: Quote from: Azazello on January 31, 2014, 02:30:56 PM
What does a DT fan say when he finds out his exam grade?

"I don't understand. I don't feel that I deserve this. What did I do wrong? I just don't understand."

Only a pushover would say that... When I get a bad grade, I usually say, "Now, wait a minute, man!!!"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Onno on January 31, 2014, 04:14:11 PM: When I just nearly pass something I always shout "EVERYONE SURVIVED! ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sacul on January 31, 2014, 06:52:28 PM: Everytime I look for an album cover on Google, I download the bigger picture.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 31, 2014, 11:11:54 PM: Quote from: Sacul on January 31, 2014, 06:52:28 PM
Everytime I look for an album cover on Google, I download the bigger picture.

So basically you try to find the album covers, can't find them, give up, and then download The Bigger Picture to cure your failure rage?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on January 31, 2014, 11:33:23 PM: Q: What would possess you to justify such dark and twisted ways?

A: Tits.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 31, 2014, 11:39:03 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on January 31, 2014, 11:33:23 PM
Q: What would possess you to justify such dark and twisted ways?

A: My rage became too powerful and my Kamui ate me.

Fixed.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on January 31, 2014, 11:41:41 PM: Suit yourself. More tits for me, I guess.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on January 31, 2014, 11:51:53 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on January 31, 2014, 11:41:41 PM
Suit yourself. More tits for me, I guess.

It's okay, there's still kinda tits with Senketsu.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on February 01, 2014, 01:31:33 AM: Quote from: GasparXR on January 31, 2014, 11:51:53 PM
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on January 31, 2014, 11:41:41 PM
Suit yourself. More tits for me, I guess.

It's okay, there's still kinda tits with Senketsu.

I am so lost...
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 01, 2014, 02:26:24 AM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on February 01, 2014, 01:31:33 AM
Quote from: GasparXR on January 31, 2014, 11:51:53 PM
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on January 31, 2014, 11:41:41 PM
Suit yourself. More tits for me, I guess.

It's okay, there's still kinda tits with Senketsu.

I am so lost...

Not Lost, Kill la Kill.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kill_la_Kill
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: BlobVanDam on February 01, 2014, 06:05:54 AM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on January 31, 2014, 11:41:41 PM
Suit yourself. More tits for me, I guess.

That is sig-worthy.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on February 02, 2014, 05:47:12 PM: John Petrucci's degree dissertation was entitled " Does turning on a light make the room less dark ? "

After months and months of research and scientific experiments - he finally concluded that

" Yes. They do. "

This was the basis for the 19 minute opus on Dream Theater's self titled 12th album

" Illumination Theory " .
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zyzzyva17 on February 02, 2014, 06:12:40 PM: And turning a light on and off repeatedly makes the room go from dark to light, light to dark, dark to light, light to dark.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: jmasterx on February 02, 2014, 06:21:26 PM: A DT fan gets 4/4 on his quiz. All his classmates think that's great, but he just finds the grade boring and would have been much happier had he gotten a few bonus marks to make it a 5/4 or 7/4.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Laughingplace56 on February 02, 2014, 09:43:50 PM: Quote from: Kotowboy on February 02, 2014, 05:47:12 PM
John Petrucci's degree dissertation was entitled " Does turning on a light make the room less dark ? "

After months and months of research and scientific experiments - he finally concluded that

" Yes. They do. "

This was the basis for the 19 minute opus on Dream Theater's self titled 12th album

" Illumination Theory " .
:clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on February 26, 2014, 06:23:13 PM: What's Batman's favorite DT song?

The Dark Eternal Knight

What's Spider-Man's favorite DT song?

Caught In A Web
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on February 26, 2014, 07:06:11 PM: Oh my god I started this thread.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on February 27, 2014, 01:36:11 PM: A prog nerd is having sex and makes his girlfriend have an orgasm. However, he's disappointed, thinking: "where's the keyboard solo?"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Shadow Ninja 2.0 on February 27, 2014, 01:40:01 PM: Quote from: ? on February 27, 2014, 01:36:11 PM
A prog nerd is having sex and makes her girlfriend have an orgasm. However, he's disappointed, thinking: "where's the keyboard solo?"

Her girlfriend?

...Us prog guys are doomed forever. :sad:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on February 27, 2014, 01:45:25 PM: Oops, fixed!

(Damn English for having different gender forms for third-person singular! :lol)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zyzzyva17 on February 27, 2014, 01:46:35 PM: Quote from: ? on February 27, 2014, 01:36:11 PM
A prog nerd is having sex and makes his girlfriend have an orgasm. However, he's disappointed, thinking: "where's the keyboard solo?"

Was that a reference to Home, or just a general comment about prog nerds?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on February 27, 2014, 01:48:48 PM: Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on February 27, 2014, 01:46:35 PM
Quote from: ? on February 27, 2014, 01:36:11 PM
A prog nerd is having sex and makes his girlfriend have an orgasm. However, he's disappointed, thinking: "where's the keyboard solo?"
Was that a reference to Home, or just a general comment about prog nerds?
The former :biggrin:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sycsa on February 27, 2014, 02:51:51 PM: Quote from: ? on February 27, 2014, 01:48:48 PM
Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on February 27, 2014, 01:46:35 PM
Quote from: ? on February 27, 2014, 01:36:11 PM
A prog nerd is having sex and makes his girlfriend have an orgasm. However, he's disappointed, thinking: "where's the keyboard solo?"
Was that a reference to Home, or just a general comment about prog nerds?
The former :biggrin:
:lol It doesn't make as much sense, but it's even funnier if I think of it as a general comment about prog nerds.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on February 27, 2014, 04:13:59 PM: Quote from: Sycsa on February 27, 2014, 02:51:51 PM
:lol It doesn't make as much sense, but it's even funnier if I think of it as a general comment about prog nerds.

Unfortunately, I'm single, so my keyboard solos come from wankery.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: King Postwhore on February 27, 2014, 04:34:32 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on February 27, 2014, 04:13:59 PM
Quote from: Sycsa on February 27, 2014, 02:51:51 PM
:lol It doesn't make as much sense, but it's even funnier if I think of it as a general comment about prog nerds.

Unfortunately, I'm single, so my keyboard solos come from wankery.

Um us married guys still love to wank. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on February 27, 2014, 04:44:40 PM: Quote from: kingshmegland on February 27, 2014, 04:34:32 PM
Um us married guys still love to wank. :lol

Yes, I hear once you get married, she'll never be open again.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: rumborak on February 27, 2014, 05:48:06 PM: I was told there's a new wife whore for each one that is lying.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on February 27, 2014, 05:49:03 PM: Well, there are some 1-900 numbers to call on, when I feel alone.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on February 27, 2014, 11:18:20 PM: And afraid :zydar:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on February 28, 2014, 06:45:13 AM: But if you dream of the next girl,
You'll find yourself
Swimming in a lake of fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Enalya on February 28, 2014, 06:45:36 AM: Quote from: DreamTension on February 16, 2012, 08:25:40 PM
What do you call a foot with six toes?

ADTOE

omg lol :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Enalya on February 28, 2014, 06:52:18 AM: What would Jordan have if he would fart in your face?

A rudeass.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on February 28, 2014, 06:53:12 AM: :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on February 28, 2014, 07:24:25 AM: Quote from: Enalya on February 28, 2014, 06:45:36 AM
Quote from: DreamTension on February 16, 2012, 08:25:40 PM
What do you call a foot with six toes?

ADTOE

omg lol :lol

I had totally forgotten about this one! I'm pretty sure I used it in real life somewhere. :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM: Does Petrucci Even Lift ?

Yes. Petrucci lifts. Have you seen a pic of him recently ?

DAYUM.

Does Petrucci prefer Coke Or Pepsi ?

... You would have to ask him - I don't know.....

.. i don't even know his favourite drink from Starbucks and that's like his 2nd home......

Portnoy was the coke guy in the band. . . . Mangini probably drinks pepsi as it's the choice of A NEW GENIE-ration.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: King Postwhore on March 02, 2014, 07:46:59 PM: John Myung walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get him?" and the parrot answers Berklee.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sacul on March 02, 2014, 08:32:57 PM: Quote from: Kotowboy on March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM
Does Petrucci Even Lift ?
He lifts shadows off a dream.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on March 03, 2014, 12:01:47 AM: Quote from: kingshmegland on March 02, 2014, 07:46:59 PM
John Myung walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get him?" and the parrot answers Berklee.

:lol

I like that. The question is, what's LaBrie's parrot doing with Myung? :yarr
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on March 03, 2014, 12:30:27 PM: Quote from: Kotowboy on March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM
Portnoy was the coke guy in the band. . . . Mangini probably drinks pepsi as it's the choice of A NEW GENIE-ration.
No. Pepsi is a Lars drink.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: PeaceLoveMetal7 on March 03, 2014, 01:02:49 PM: Over the past couple of months it's been really cold here (in the northeastern US) and awhile ago my boyfriend and I were complaining to each other via text about how cold it was... using Dream Theater puns. This is normal for us. We generally find this humorous, so enjoy.
(https://scontent-a-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/t31/q71/s720x720/1501191_687939064584778_442730660_o.jpg)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on March 03, 2014, 01:39:39 PM: DT puns are always welcome at this forum :D
Quote from: Kotowboy on March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM
Does Petrucci Even Lift ?
Does LaBrie even forklift?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on March 03, 2014, 05:17:55 PM: Quote from: Grizz on March 03, 2014, 12:30:27 PM
Quote from: Kotowboy on March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM
Portnoy was the coke guy in the band. . . . Mangini probably drinks pepsi as it's the choice of A NEW GENIE-ration.
No. Pepsi is a Lars drink.

Lars Ulrich is a diet coke with lime guy. He has HQ stocked with it.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 04, 2014, 10:31:23 PM: Why couldn't the verse riff from Another Day get into the bar?

Because it was A minor.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on March 04, 2014, 11:49:00 PM: Quote from: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 04, 2014, 10:31:23 PM
Why couldn't the verse riff from Another Day get into the bar?

Because it was A minor.

The bartender was a pedophile, I think. He should have let Another Day in, given that it was Ab Minor and all.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on March 05, 2014, 12:05:33 AM: Quote from: GasparXR on March 04, 2014, 11:49:00 PM
Quote from: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 04, 2014, 10:31:23 PM
Why couldn't the verse riff from Another Day get into the bar?

Because it was A minor.

The bartender was a pedophile, I think. He should have let Another Day in, given that it was Ab Minor and all.

Yeah, but maybe that's the problem. Because it was too flat.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 05, 2014, 12:10:10 AM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on March 05, 2014, 12:05:33 AM
Quote from: GasparXR on March 04, 2014, 11:49:00 PM
Quote from: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 04, 2014, 10:31:23 PM
Why couldn't the verse riff from Another Day get into the bar?

Because it was A minor.

The bartender was a pedophile, I think. He should have let Another Day in, given that it was Ab Minor and all.

Yeah, but maybe that's the problem. Because it was too flat.
Quote from: GasparXR on March 04, 2014, 11:49:00 PM
Quote from: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 04, 2014, 10:31:23 PM
Why couldn't the verse riff from Another Day get into the bar?

Because it was A minor.

The bartender was a pedophile, I think. He should have let Another Day in, given that it was Ab Minor and all.

Apparently, the song Another Day is now female, and underage, even though she was technically born in 1992.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on March 05, 2014, 12:11:16 AM: It's an old joke. I fell off my prog dinosaur.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on March 05, 2014, 04:35:45 PM: Five was hungry. Five ate nuggetz.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 05, 2014, 04:48:14 PM: I always thought an amazing Super Group would be Cream Theater featuring Eric Clapton (Old Slow Hand), and John Petrucci (Senior Speedy Fingers) Finally, Clapton and Petrucci meet up to record one of the most unevenly matched guitar legend albums ever released.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on March 05, 2014, 06:01:55 PM: Quote from: Grizz on March 05, 2014, 04:35:45 PM
Five was hungry. Five ate nuggetz.

:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on March 06, 2014, 05:52:03 AM: What is the best way to wake up a ninja ?

Throw him in the stream of consciousness :neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Invisible on March 06, 2014, 06:01:43 PM: - What does James say when he gets to his house?

Honey, IIIIII AAAAAM HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME.

- What does John wants to see in a baseball game?

The bigger pitcher

Why did Kevin Moore stopped buying lightbulbs?
Because he had a while to think it over, and in the end he only sees the change light to dark, dark to light, light to dark.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on March 07, 2014, 07:22:19 PM: Well that and his local Home Depot will never be open again.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on March 07, 2014, 07:36:47 PM: Quote from: Invisible on March 06, 2014, 06:01:43 PM
- What does James say when he gets to his house?

Honey, IIIIII AAAAAM HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME.

- What does John wants to see in a baseball game?

The bigger pitcher

Why did Kevin Moore stopped buying lightbulbs?
Because he had a while to think it over, and in the end he only sees the change light to dark, dark to light, light to dark.

Sorry, beat ya to it! ;D https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=30812.msg1754046#msg1754046
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Invisible on March 07, 2014, 08:09:40 PM: Damn! :facepalm: I was pretty sure no one did that before! I was also ninja'd the BearTracks joke :loser:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on March 07, 2014, 08:26:25 PM: What are DT members' favorite Disney movies?

MM - Aladdin
JLB - Peter Pan
JR - Sword in the Stone
JP - Brother Bear
JM - 3 Ninjas
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: aprilethereal on March 09, 2014, 11:25:15 AM: Quote from: ? on March 03, 2014, 01:39:39 PM
Quote from: Kotowboy on March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM
Does Petrucci Even Lift ?
Does LaBrie even forklift?

:lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on April 14, 2014, 04:15:12 PM: Why will I be listening to DT12 this upcoming sunday?
To get the Easter Egg at the end of it!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on April 15, 2014, 10:12:34 PM: To continue the Easter Egg theme....

Q : Are any of Dream Theater Easter Eggs ?

A : No.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Nearmyth on April 15, 2014, 10:21:52 PM: Quote from: Grizz on March 05, 2014, 04:35:45 PM
Five was hungry. Five ate nuggetz.

This was probably the simplest one, but it's the only one that made me laugh out loud :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on April 16, 2014, 08:44:17 AM: yey i win
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sir Walrus Cauliflower on June 02, 2014, 09:14:21 PM: I'll post these courtesy of my cousin...

How does DT get from concert to concert?
They ride the train of thought.

Why is the DT resturaunt so diverse?
They are known for their frequent Change of Seasonings

Why did DT stay at a crappy hotel?
It was the only one that was vacant.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: FlyingBIZKIT on June 03, 2014, 02:00:19 AM: Quote from: Sir Walrus Cauliflower on June 02, 2014, 09:14:21 PM
Why is the DT resturaunt so diverse?
They are known for their frequent Change of Seasonings

This one made me breathe more air out of my nose than usual.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sir Walrus Cauliflower on June 03, 2014, 08:16:41 AM: Quote from: FlyingBIZKIT on June 03, 2014, 02:00:19 AM
Quote from: Sir Walrus Cauliflower on June 02, 2014, 09:14:21 PM
Why is the DT resturaunt so diverse?
They are known for their frequent Change of Seasonings

This one made me breathe more air out of my nose than usual.

As your comment made me.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on June 03, 2014, 04:28:23 PM: Why did Dream Theater hang out with Sebastian Bach, and then let Richard Chycki into the studio?

Because all former members of Winter Rose look the same to them.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on June 26, 2014, 11:11:52 AM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on June 03, 2014, 04:28:23 PM
Why did Dream Theater hang out with Sebastian Bach, and then let Richard Chycki into the studio?

Because all former members of Winter Rose look the same to them.

(https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/forumavatars/avatar_5775_1401438084.gif)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sycsa on June 26, 2014, 11:49:44 AM: Nice one! :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: npiazza91 on June 26, 2014, 07:36:27 PM: Anyone like Chuck Norris jokes? Just for fun.

Chuck "Octavarium" Norris

The Root of all Chuck Norris (the disc explodes if you try to listen to this one)
The Answer Lies Within Chuck Norris
These Chuck Norrises (Chuck Norris hates this songs because there can only be one Chuck Norris)
Chuck Norris Walks Beside You (this song prevents all suicides to those that listen)
Chuck Norris Attack (this song is just a man screaming in agony...for a millisecond, because Chuck Norris already killed him)
Never Enough Chuck Norris (this song never ends...because there is "Never Enough" Chuck Norris)
Sacrificed Sons of Chuck Norris
Chuck "Octavarium" Norris

So I was talking to my friend and he had this to say to me. "Man, I was taking this test and it was A Nightmare to Remember. They made you take A Rite of Passage and it made me Wither in my seat. I just couldn't take my mind off of The Shattered Fortress from that one movie we saw remember? Man those were the Best of Times. Makes you want to become the Count of Tuscany huh?"

So I said this to him. "You know what, man? Why don't you just Pull Me Under Another Day huh? If you just Take The Time and relax, I'm sure you'll be Surrounded by women before you know it. Wouldn't that be a Metropolis, huh? Just don't go sitting outside Under a Glass Moon. When it comes down to it you just have to Wait For Sleep. What can I tell you, man? It's all about Learning to Live."

"You know what, man...that's so true."

haha, I can have fun with these for hours.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on June 26, 2014, 07:58:24 PM: Why do I doubt that 91 stands for your birthday?

Different strokes for different folks, but I've always found Chuck Norris jokes to be among the most stupid things I could find on the internet until I found an interview of the man himself.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on June 26, 2014, 08:17:27 PM: Those are more like Chuck Norris puns... But let's see, Chuck Norris/DT Joke... Hmm...

Chuck Norris is the only man to beat Jordan Rudess in a piano playing competition. (You see because it's a joke... And not a good one.)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zyzzyva17 on June 26, 2014, 10:03:02 PM: Chuck Norris can cross the crooked step.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: npiazza91 on June 26, 2014, 10:55:47 PM: Quote from: Grizz on June 26, 2014, 07:58:24 PM
Why do I doubt that 91 stands for your birthday?

Different strokes for different folks, but I've always found Chuck Norris jokes to be among the most stupid things I could find on the internet until I found an interview of the man himself.

It's all good. I don't necessarily find them very funny, but they don't bother me either. They are just so freaking stupid and out there that I get a chuckle out of them every now and again. Just think realistically about it for a sec. The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris when he goes to sleep. First of all, WHY CHUCK NORRIS? Second, imagine for a second that the boogeyman actually sleeps like a normal, regular human being. Then, imagine that he must have a room, which means he OWNS A HOUSE. The boogeyman owns a house. Not only that, but he's scared to go to sleep because of Chuck Norris. If you break it down like that, it's actually funny. I have a Seinfeld type sense of humor, so exaggerated humor is funny to me.

Also, yes I was born in 1991. It's hard to tell how someone is like on the internet, but I can't stand most of the people my age. Way too immature. I go to work full time, come home and...that's it. I volunteer as a crisis/suicide prevention counselor as well. I served in the US Army for 4 years as well, got out a few months ago. I guess the little kid in me comes out for certain things. I could be reading Stephen King (love his books) one minute, then pop in some Pokemon on my DS. Not trying to sound defensive, as I could totally tell where you're coming from. Just thought I'd put it out there.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on June 27, 2014, 09:43:35 AM: Quote from: Zyzzyva17 on June 26, 2014, 10:03:02 PM
Chuck Norris can cross the crooked step.
:rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 01, 2014, 11:25:35 PM: What did Dream Theater name their Chinese restaurant?

I Wok Beside You
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on July 02, 2014, 10:05:11 AM: :lol Not bad!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: puppyonacid on July 02, 2014, 10:20:55 AM: What did Dream Theater name their bakery?

A Cake
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: puppyonacid on July 02, 2014, 10:21:40 AM: No!

Cream Theater!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: BlobVanDam on July 02, 2014, 10:22:42 AM: Quote from: puppyonacid on July 02, 2014, 10:20:55 AM
What did Dream Theater name their bakery?

A Cake

Quote from: puppyonacid on July 02, 2014, 10:21:40 AM
No!

Cream Theater!

When Cream and Cake Unite?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: puppyonacid on July 02, 2014, 10:29:51 AM: Cream of Consciousness
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 02, 2014, 03:20:28 PM: Bake Away My Pain (Because in French, "pain" means bread)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on July 02, 2014, 07:10:13 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on July 02, 2014, 03:20:28 PM
Bake Away My Pain (Because in French, "pain" means bread)

I thought that was a stoner joke for a second there.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: kanutaros on July 02, 2014, 08:02:31 PM: How about we combine DT album names and come up with absurd titles:

- A Dramatic Change of Trains
- Images of Trains
- Black Clouds of Inner Turbulence

I'm out of ideas already. Bonus points for not using 'train' or 'turbulence'.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 02, 2014, 08:08:12 PM: Systematic Turn Of Infinity

Scenes From Images

Dream Awake
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zyzzyva17 on July 02, 2014, 11:29:24 PM: Six Dramatic Scenes from a Black Theater
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on July 03, 2014, 02:51:15 PM: Quote from: BlobVanDam on July 02, 2014, 10:22:42 AM
Quote from: puppyonacid on July 02, 2014, 10:20:55 AM
What did Dream Theater name their bakery?

A Cake

Quote from: puppyonacid on July 02, 2014, 10:21:40 AM
No!

Cream Theater!

When Cream and Cake Unite?

That used to be my sig.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: RoeDent on July 07, 2014, 03:51:45 PM: James LaBrie gets a new job as a shopkeeper. As each customer gives him money for their purchases, he opens the till and says "I think it's time for your CHAAAYEEAAAAAAAANGE!!!"
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: rumborak on July 07, 2014, 04:33:41 PM: What does the British government and DT have in common? Both get rid of their MPs after a while ;D

What does the camera man from LSFNY and Kristin Shepard have in common? Both shot JR.

Ok, I'm done.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on July 07, 2014, 04:49:12 PM: MM and JP walk into a bar.

JP says "I've waited forever to do that."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on July 07, 2014, 07:54:58 PM: Quote from: Grizz on July 07, 2014, 04:49:12 PM
MM and JP walk into a bar.

JP says "I've waited forever to do that."

they didnt wait long to be served. It was only a bar of 3.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on July 07, 2014, 08:03:56 PM: Different strokes for different folks. I know Edward likes to get it on in bars of 19 sometimes, other times bars of 1.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: vbrodrigues95 on July 10, 2014, 11:33:38 AM: DT went to a party to pick up some girls, but the security said that they could only score when they are 20 years old.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on July 10, 2014, 07:38:54 PM: It didn't help when JLB kept misrepresenting their age
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 10, 2014, 07:53:39 PM: Mike Portnoy gathered the band together in September of 2010 and decided to play a prank on them. He jokingly said that he wants the band to take a hiatus, otherwise he quits.

...

The joke backfired in a big way.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: MoraWintersoul on July 11, 2014, 08:43:11 AM: Kinda like when you go to your wife and say "Taking care of the baby is tiresome, I want a break or I'm out" and she hands you the divorce papers even when you've said you were kidding? Meanwhile she auditions 7 husbands-to-be, but hooks up with the first dude right away? And the baby gets two Grammy nominations?

I'll show myself out.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ? on July 11, 2014, 08:51:21 AM: Quote from: vbrodrigues95 on July 10, 2014, 11:33:38 AM
DT went to a party to pick up some girls, but the security said that they could only score when they are 20 years old.
Quote from: Grizz on July 10, 2014, 07:38:54 PM
It didn't help when JLB kept misrepresenting their age
:lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: genome on July 23, 2014, 03:12:13 PM: JP went to an art gallery, and at the end, walked into the gift shop. He noticed a print of a painting for sale, and loved it. Turning to the shop assistant, he enquired as to where he could see the real version of the painting.

"Oh, it's right here in the art gallery, sir."
JP: "Really? I didn't see it when I walked around."
"Let me grab an assistant for you to show you around the gallery."

The assistant arrives.

"Hello, sir. I understand you wish to see the full-size version of this painting?"
JP: "Yes. Be my guide so I can see the bigger picture."

I don't get it
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on July 23, 2014, 03:39:41 PM: Turns out he didn't see it because he didn't look behind the veil. After the assistant brought him along for the ride, he saw the beautiful painting of restless angels. Raw dog.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 23, 2014, 04:12:07 PM: How many guitar techs does it take to tune JP's guitar every show?

Two:
One tunes the guitar and the other sacrifices a virgin to appease the all mighty JP.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: King Postwhore on July 23, 2014, 04:13:23 PM: Q: What does JP like in his porn?

A: Chunk and Balls.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: genome on July 23, 2014, 04:27:49 PM: Quote from: kingshmegland on July 23, 2014, 04:13:23 PM
Q: What does MP like in his porn?

A: Ass and Balls.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 23, 2014, 04:28:28 PM: Quote from: genome on July 23, 2014, 04:27:49 PM
Quote from: kingshmegland on July 23, 2014, 04:13:23 PM
Q: What does MP like in his porn?

A: Ass and Balls.

Damn, ninja'd.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: King Postwhore on July 23, 2014, 04:29:58 PM: Old age boys! :lol

Haven't watched it in a while. I better brush up. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on July 23, 2014, 04:32:39 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on July 23, 2014, 04:12:07 PM
How many guitar techs does it take to tune JP's guitar every show?

Three:
One tunes the guitar, one sacrifices a virgin to appease the all mighty JP, and the third brings him a pot of honey.

Wait... Fixed it!
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on July 24, 2014, 01:23:54 AM: Quote from: genome on July 23, 2014, 03:12:13 PM
JP went to an art gallery, and at the end, walked into the gift shop. He noticed a print of a painting for sale, and loved it. Turning to the shop assistant, he enquired as to where he could see the real version of the painting.

"Oh, it's right here in the art gallery, sir."
JP: "Really? I didn't see it when I walked around."
"Let me grab an assistant for you to show you around the gallery."

The assistant arrives.

"Hello, sir. I understand you wish to see the full-size version of this painting?"
JP: "Yes. Be my guide so I can see the bigger picture."

I don't get it

:neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Zydar on July 24, 2014, 01:26:54 AM: :clap:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: chaossystem on July 31, 2014, 12:57:07 PM: I had dream that I was in Japan wearing a Dream theater shirt. The members of Metallica walked by, and I went up to them and said: "I don't really like Metallica that much, but I had a pen and some paper, so what the fuck."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: aprilethereal on September 12, 2014, 10:10:56 AM: I decided to dig up this thread for this pretty bad one I just thought of:

What does John Myung say when he swears? You Basshole.

Hopefully this one hasn't been posted yet, but whatever.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on October 06, 2015, 09:11:27 AM: James LaBrie is such a pirate that when he first joined the band, he used to sing, "pull me plunder."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: matthewmatt on October 06, 2015, 03:24:17 PM: After failing Dream Theater audition...

(https://s23.postimg.org/rpzi7ls63/index.jpg)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ToT-147 on October 06, 2015, 09:12:39 PM: (https://fdzeta.com/subir/images/mrA9i.png)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Vandalism on October 16, 2015, 07:24:12 AM: I am going mad waiting for more news and the title says bad jokes. So...here goes

What would you call a group of people having a ninja, a wizard, a pirate, a genie and Jesus?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: BlobVanDam on October 16, 2015, 07:26:38 AM: Quote from: Vandalism on October 16, 2015, 07:24:12 AM
What would you call a group of people having a ninja, a wizard, a pirate, a genie and Jesus?

The Village People v2.0? :neverusethis:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Vandalism on October 16, 2015, 07:28:56 AM: Quote from: BlobVanDam on October 16, 2015, 07:26:38 AM
Quote from: Vandalism on October 16, 2015, 07:24:12 AM
What would you call a group of people having a ninja, a wizard, a pirate, a genie and Jesus?

The Village People v2.0? :neverusethis:

:rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Sacul on October 16, 2015, 01:56:52 PM: If they wore masks would they be called Slipknot, or Slipflow?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ToT-147 on October 16, 2015, 09:39:02 PM: Quote from: Sacul on October 16, 2015, 01:56:52 PM
If they wore masks would they be called Slipknot, or Slipflow?

Impossible not to think of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfoEJEFHNQM ("DREAM THEATER USED MASKS")
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: James Mypetgiress on October 17, 2015, 04:56:51 AM: Quote from: ToT-147 on October 16, 2015, 09:39:02 PM
Quote from: Sacul on October 16, 2015, 01:56:52 PM
If they wore masks would they be called Slipknot, or Slipflow?

Impossible not to think of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfoEJEFHNQM ("DREAM THEATER USED MASKS")
Dream Theater 2015 Halloween dates - Gwar like suits confirmed.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: V_R11 on October 25, 2015, 11:04:04 AM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on July 23, 2014, 04:12:07 PM
How many guitar techs does it take to tune JP's guitar every show?

Two:
One tunes the guitar and the other sacrifices a virgin to appease the all mighty JP.

Oh my God :rollin
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on October 25, 2015, 05:01:44 PM: A Rudess, A Portnoy and a Petrucci walk into a bar.

They have some liquid. There is some tension and then this experiment of a joke.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Viking of the Sagas on November 23, 2015, 05:13:31 AM: That's really dry for a liquid.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ToT-147 on November 23, 2015, 01:04:30 PM: Quote from: Kotowboy on October 25, 2015, 05:01:44 PM
A Rudess, A Portnoy and a Petrucci walk into a bar.

They have some liquid. There is some tension and then this experiment of a joke.

They didn't like that project that much, but they had a liquid and some tension, so wtf..

That joke is probably the best thing KM did for while he was in DT.. Nah, I'm just joking.. Or am I not?
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Mastermax0213 on November 23, 2015, 10:18:29 PM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYFsSBs23G8
Absolutely hilarious.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ToT-147 on November 23, 2015, 10:42:12 PM: :lol :rollin

Also found this one, about ADToE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XX9NapOh4U
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on November 24, 2015, 05:16:27 AM: MP's reaction mirrors my own.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: CDrice on November 24, 2015, 10:45:32 AM: Why Dream Theater chose another guy named Mike to be their new drummer?

Because James needs a Mike to sing.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Orbert on November 24, 2015, 11:07:41 AM: :omg:
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Kotowboy on November 24, 2015, 11:15:40 AM: Quote from: CDrice on November 24, 2015, 10:45:32 AM
Why Dream Theater chose another guy named Mike to be their new drummer?

Because James needs a Mike to sing.

:|
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheCountOfNYC on November 24, 2015, 02:40:43 PM: Quote from: Mastermax0213 on November 23, 2015, 10:18:29 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYFsSBs23G8
Absolutely hilarious.

That was pretty much my face when I first heard that solo.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Pax on November 24, 2015, 02:45:27 PM: Why did Mike Mangini join the band?

Because he won the audition, duh
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: CDrice on November 24, 2015, 05:28:25 PM: Quote from: Kotowboy on November 24, 2015, 11:15:40 AM
Quote from: CDrice on November 24, 2015, 10:45:32 AM
Why Dream Theater chose another guy named Mike to be their new drummer?

Because James needs a Mike to sing.

:|

(https://orig09.deviantart.net/df73/f/2015/328/a/4/dt_mikemics_by_cdrice-d9hwkks.jpg)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Nothingface on November 24, 2015, 09:31:19 PM: I got a pretty bad Dream Theater joke right here:

(https://www.themonolith.com/wp-content/uploads/Dream-Theater-st-560x560.jpg)
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: ToT-147 on November 24, 2015, 11:00:36 PM: Let's hear it.. :corn
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: porcacultor on November 25, 2015, 02:18:07 AM: What did JP say when he ate an awful bucket of KFC?

A: This is Hell's Chicken.

What did JLB yell at JM when he was being tackled?

A: Just let me breathe!

How does the dream theater BBQ cookbook teach you to cut the chicken?

A: Raise the knife... cut through.

kill me
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: GasparXR on November 25, 2015, 05:28:47 AM: You can cut your chicken anytime you want.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Grizz on April 24, 2016, 09:18:56 PM: The ushers at The Astonishing concerts seem to really want DT to play Forsaken. They keep singing "Give your cellphone to me."
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheSilentHam on April 26, 2016, 03:34:07 PM: :rollin nice
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: pdurbin22 on April 28, 2016, 10:09:46 AM: Quote from: Grizz on April 24, 2016, 09:18:56 PM
The ushers at The Astonishing concerts seem to really want DT to play Forsaken. They keep singing "Give your cellphone to me."

For the win.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TheGreatPretender on September 14, 2016, 12:00:41 AM: What's The Dance of Eternity without a condom?

The Dance of Maternity
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Prog Snob on September 14, 2016, 05:27:25 AM: Just reading one new joke, I realize why this thread was abandoned since April. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: IDontNotDoThings on September 14, 2016, 05:43:27 AM: Quote from: Azazello on January 31, 2014, 02:30:56 PM
What does a DT fan say when he finds out his exam grade?

"I don't understand. I don't feel that I deserve this. What did I do wrong? I just don't understand."

I don't pretend to have the answer...
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on September 14, 2016, 09:56:41 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on September 14, 2016, 12:00:41 AM
What's The Dance of Eternity without a condom?

The Chance of Paternity

Fixed
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Jamesman42 on November 16, 2023, 07:58:24 PM: When cooking food for his dad, Mike Portnoy only wants herbs and spices that are top notch, you know, the best of thymes.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: wolfking on November 16, 2023, 08:01:06 PM: Fucking hell guys, these are awful. :lol
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: Metro on November 16, 2023, 08:02:08 PM: Quote from: Metro on September 14, 2016, 09:56:41 PM
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on September 14, 2016, 12:00:41 AM
What's The Dance of Eternity without a condom?

The Chance of Paternity

Fixed

I don't care if this killed the thread for 7 years, I stand by it.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: wolfking on November 16, 2023, 08:05:35 PM: Which song would JP send if he were in Metro's lubricated roulette?

Pull Me Under.
Title: Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
Post by: TAC on November 16, 2023, 08:10:08 PM: Quote from: TheGreatPretender on September 14, 2016, 12:00:41 AM
What's The Dance of Eternity without a condom?

The Sperm Carries On?