DreamTheaterForums.org Dream Theater Fan Site
General => General Discussion => Topic started by: Ravenheart on May 31, 2011, 07:54:51 PM
-
1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.
2. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.
3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.
4. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".
5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)
6. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
8. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.
9. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.
10. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.
11. Do not torpedo single friends.
12. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
13. Before dating a buddy's ex you are required to ask his permission. If he grants it, he is however allowed to say, "man, your gonna love the way she licks your balls"
14. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.
15. If a mans zipper is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything!
16. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)
17. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
18. While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies girlfriends with in 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pal's boyfriends- low level sports bonding is all the law requires.
19. Unless you have a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.
20. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
21. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.
22. Only in a situation of mortal danger or ass peril are you permitted to kick another member of the male species in the testicles.
23. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. This includes men who aren't wearing shirts. If your buddy is outnumbered outmanned, or too drunk to defend himself, you must jump into the fight. Exception: if during the past 24 hours your friends actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs is a good ass wuppin", in which case you may refrain from getting involved and stand back and enjoy.
24. Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed.
25. Fives must be called at all times when getting out of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However, "house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is left up to the owner of the seat.
26. Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object, or it is at a reasonable time.
27. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline.
28. If you ever compliment a guy's six pack, you better be talking about his choice of beverage.
29. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.
30. Phrases that may never be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"Come on, give me one more, harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers"
"Nice ass! Are you a Sagittarius?"
31. Never hesitate to reach for the last beverage or pizza, but not both. That’s just mean.
32. Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.
33. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary.
34. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way up so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.
35. If you catch your girl messing around with your best friend, let your states crime of passion laws be your guide.
36. If your buddy is trying to hook up with a girl, you may sabotage him only in a manor that gives you no chances of getting any either.
37. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get up on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "fuck off" then you are absolved from all responsibility. Later on it is ok that you have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about.
38. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.
39. If a buddy has lint, an eyelash, or any other foreign object on his hair or face, under no circumstances are you permitted to remove it. However an appropriate hand gesture may be made to make him aware of it.
40. An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year
41. When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least one urinal will exist at all times. If the only empty urinal is directly next to an occupied on, then you are still required to wait. (Exception: at a sporting event where a line has formed to use the pisser)
42. When coming to a room which you know is occupied by your friend and possibly another girl, you must knock and wait for an adequate response. If no response occurs, and the door is locked, a 10 minute period is required before knocking again.
43. The only time dicking over a buddy for a girl is legal, is when the girl ranks a 8 or above on the 1-10 scale. (exception: a girl may rank from 5-7, as long as there is oral sex involved).
44. A mans gotta scratch what a mans gotta scratch. This applies to picking as well. Let the man be.
45. No man shall ever watch any of the following programs on TV:
Figure skating
Men's gymnastics
Any sport involving women (unless viewed for sexual purposes)
46. If you accidentally touch or brush against any part of another man below the waist, it is an understood accident, and NO apologies or any reference to the occurrence is necessary.
47. No man shall spend more than 2 minutes in front of a mirror. If more time is required, a three minute waiting period must be allowed before returning to the mirror.
48. Any dispute lasting any longer than 3 minutes will and must be settled by rock, paper, scissors. There is no argument too important for this determining method.
49. No man will ever willingly watch a movie in which the main theme is dancing, and if a man shall happen to view such a movie it is only acceptable if its with a girlfriend.
50. Only acceptable time when a man is allowed to cry:
when a heroic dog dies to save his master.
after being struck in the testicles with anything moving fast than 7 mph.
When your date is using her teeth.
The day Anna Kornikova chooses a husband.
51. If a bet is made, and the challenge is completed, then the bettor may recoup his money by immediately completing a more daring challenge. If he refuses the challenge or chooses not to propose one, then and only then, must the money be paid.
52. Masturbate often. (exception: if your roommate is due back within the hour)
53. If a hot girl shall happen to pass by while you are in an arms reach of your buddy, you must, and will, tap him on the shoulder to make him aware of the babe.
54. A man's shoes may not intentionally match any other article of clothing on his body.
55. No comment shall ever be made to a man about how much he is sweating. In fact, there is no need bring notice to any body part which he may be sweating from.
56. No man shall ever allow anyone to speak ill of The Simpsons or any Rocky movie. (Exception: Rocky V)
57. You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after reassembling or assembling an object. In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.
58. There are is never an occasion in which any shirt without buttons may be tucked in. (Exception: when you are participating in a organized sporting event)
59. Unless you are under the age of 11 or wearing a bathing suit,, DON’T wear whitey tighty's. It still escapes all reasoning as to why they even make them in adult sizes.
60. Any object thrown with reasonable speed and accuracy, MUST be caught.
61. No man shall ever keep track of, or count, the amount of beers he has had in a night.
62. Under no circumstances may two non-related men share a bed or anything which can be perceived as a mattress.
63. In an empty room, car, ect., a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isn’t talking.
64. If you jiggle more than twice, your playing with it.
65. A man shall never help another man apply sun tan oil.
66. The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.
67. If your friend says "Lick my nuts" as a way to put you down, don't try to be funny by saying "OK" and moving your head towards his crotch, two homosexual references in a row are just plain scary...
68. If you say ouch, you are a pussy!
69. It is the God given duty of every man to assist any other man that may be in need of assistance in obtaining every guys dream (threesome with two girls)
* with every set of laws, there are appropriate punishments. If any man shall happen to break any one of these codes, he will be found guilty, and will, for 24 hours from the time of the violation, be considered NOT A MAN. During this time he will not be referred to in any masculine way, and he shall bear the name Princess.
https://www.liquorwits.com/code.html
-
Meh.
-
12. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
Fuck. That.
I have a diagnosed overactive bladder. I'll be goddamned if you make me wait two hours in excruciating pain. It doesn't take more than 5 minutes to pull into a gas station and let someone piss.
-
hmmm
-
If I had more time before needing to go to bed I'd separate out the ones that are actually damn funny.
But it needs pruning.
-
:rollin
-
Some filler for sure, but there was also some awesome :lol ones.
-
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella
My favorite one
-
No offense, but I think this list is pretty retarded. Lying to someone's wife about their husband's whereabouts is just devious, sly, and sleazy; I stopped reading there because no REAL man should be so deceptive to someone who just cares about their loved one's whereabouts.
Not to mention the fact that this list deems anything slightly homosexual to be suddenly "Not MANLY".. whoever wrote this is EXTREMELY homophobic. It's ridiculous.
-
No offense, but I think this list is pretty retarded. Lying to someone's wife about their husband's whereabouts is just devious, sly, and sleazy; I stopped reading there because no REAL man should be so deceptive to someone who just cares about their loved one's whereabouts.
Not to mention the fact that this list deems anything slightly homosexual to be suddenly "Not MANLY".. whoever wrote this is EXTREMELY homophobic. It's ridiculous.
its supposed to be funny.
-
No offense, but I think this list is pretty retarded. Lying to someone's wife about their husband's whereabouts is just devious, sly, and sleazy; I stopped reading there because no REAL man should be so deceptive to someone who just cares about their loved one's whereabouts.
Not to mention the fact that this list deems anything slightly homosexual to be suddenly "Not MANLY".. whoever wrote this is EXTREMELY homophobic. It's ridiculous.
its supposed to be funny.
I just think it's insanely degrading and sexist.. this is juvenile humor that plays on stupid stereotypes. Might as well make a thread about fart-jokes.. or a thread about how black people love fried chicken.
It's not funny because there are a lot of men who believe and follow most of those "rules."
-
You either take this list too seriously or yourself too seriously. Lighten up.
-
You either take this list too seriously or yourself too seriously. Lighten up.
:C You haven't met people who stick so valiantly to this list.. it's sad and upsetting at the same time..
-
That's their problem.
But if you're going to use this thread as an opportunity to unnecessarily stand on your soapbox, well, I guess I can't stop you.
-
Kura, take it easy! Obviously these are gross exaggerations that are meant to be funny. No need to be so offended by these types of things.
-
i would not do some of the shit on here...
i do find them kidna fucked up
but i also see the humor
and laughed my ass off
-
That's their problem.
But if you're going to use this thread as an opportunity to unnecessarily stand on your soapbox, well, I guess I can't stop you.
Dude, I'm free to have an opinion, aren't I? I'm not attacking you.. I just don't find it funny. I don't see anything wrong with that; I'm just sharing an experience and an opinion. Please don't criticize my thoughts..
Why are you being a downer on what I want to say just because you don't agree with it? I feel like now you're imposing that I should take it in a different way just because what I said was unexpected or "more serious." If this is not here for discussion, why did you even make it its own thread instead of posting it in the chat or giving it to a buddy over an IM? Come on, man.. I know you're cooler than this so why don't you just let me speak my mind freely?
Ignore the post if you don't agree with me; don't tell me to loosen up because I feel strongly about it due to a personal experience :C It's like an atheist telling someone who's religious to stop believing in fairy tales. That's why I find it even more offensive.
-
Kura, take it easy! Obviously these are gross exaggerations that are meant to be funny. No need to be so offended by these types of things.
@_@ Dude, I know guys like this and they live their life by these rules. It bugs me because they are not exaggerations to quite a handful of people I rather actually not know. I feel like this is just spreading it.. makes me shudder and disturbs me.. It just feels like someone who endorses cheating because it's the swag thing to do or some shit that guys say around here.. I dunno.. I can't take it lightly because it really pains me to see it IRL. It's worse than passing on this to unsuspecting passerbys:
(https://i1083.photobucket.com/albums/j394/mazingetter2/ssof.jpg)
-
Just goes to show:
70. Under no circumstances should girls be allowed access to the internet.
-
This list is a joke based on these stereotypes. It's not promoting the stereotypes.
@kari
:rollin
-
This list is a joke based on these stereotypes. It's not promoting the stereotypes.
@kari
:rollin
I'm trying to believe you man.. but I've met some very stupid individuals lol.. Not all men; some very stereotypical women too!
Here's a quote from a blonde I know after a discussion about putting sunscreen on at night. She says: "Really?.. You mean you can't get a tan at night from the moon?"
*facepalm*
-
This list is a joke based on these stereotypes. It's not promoting the stereotypes.
This. The list is based on things that men already do. It's poking fun at men. Us men have a sense of humor about ourselves. But sure enough, someone will still find a way to get offended.
-
Dude, I'm free to have an opinion, aren't I? I'm not attacking you.. I just don't find it funny. I don't see anything wrong with that; I'm just sharing an experience and an opinion. Please don't criticize my thoughts..
Why are you being a downer on what I want to say just because you don't agree with it? I feel like now you're imposing that I should take it in a different way just because what I said was unexpected or "more serious." If this is not here for discussion, why did you even make it its own thread instead of posting it in the chat or giving it to a buddy over an IM? Come on, man.. I know you're cooler than this so why don't you just let me speak my mind freely?
Ignore the post if you don't agree with me; don't tell me to loosen up because I feel strongly about it due to a personal experience :C It's like an atheist telling someone who's religious to stop believing in fairy tales. That's why I find it even more offensive.
I....... don't even get what you're trying to say here.
First you parade the joys of having an opinion, then you tell me not to respond, and then you tell me that the point of this thread, like any thread, is to have a discussion (obviously). Yet what I was doing was having a discussion. My point was telling you to lighten up because you're being ridiculous.
When you post something I disagree with, I'm going to tell you, especially if it's in a thread I started. Isn't that what, y'know, discussing is? Or maybe I just shouldn't discuss it unless I agree with you? You posted your thoughts on a public forum. I gave you my thoughts in return.
As for "why don't you just let me speak my mind freely?" I could very easily ask the same thing. In fact, between the two of us, I'm the one who should be asking it after that silly post of blatant contradictions.
Me telling you to lighten up is in no way comparable to an atheist telling a religious person to stop believing. That's both laughable and insulting.
Plus, like MetalJunkie explain, this is poking fun at men, not glorifying this sort of behavior.
I can't believe I'm even posting this. *Sigh*
-
my question is why is she out of the kitchen
-
I'm actually now more offended that you're all singling me out just for not agreeing with the LOLZWORTHINESS of how amazing this list is, and are now instead making it a point to prove that I'm a buzzkill and putting me down by picking on my personal tolerance level.
Thanks, I'm leaving this thread now since it's now blazingly clear to me that I apparently have nothing to contribute.
And for those of you who read too deeply into this: I choose scissors.
-
:corn
-
Except no one was saying this list is amazing. I don't think it's amazing, either, but it made me lol enough to think it was worth posting on here. I figured a few level-headed people might get a laugh or two.
No one's picking on you, but it's obvious you get offended way too easily by storming out of this thread, and you just look ridiculous. And I bet you've done this very same thing in many other threads.
To say you're being "singled out" is completely useless. You posted an (unnecessarily) inflammatory comment in this thread, and you don't expect anyone to counter? Seriously? Again, I think you're the one who needs a reminder that the point of this board is to discuss things.
The fact that you failed to address my previous post just reinforces it all. Thank you for desecrating this thread with your rotten, unpleasant attitude.
-
could really use a sandwich right about now
-
49. No man will ever willingly watch a movie in which the main theme is dancing, and if a man shall happen to view such a movie it is only acceptable if its with a girlfriend.
but... what... about... Black Swan?
:heart Natalie Portman
-
Kura, it seems to me you've had some bad experiences with men, I understand that. Men can be dicks. The thing about this list is that it's supposed to be funny. Not offensive. I don't even see how it could... I'm baffled to see you offended by it.
My point is though that no one is ever going to take this list seriously (except you apparently)... And as said before, if guys behave like that it won't be because they're read this, it's the other way around.
Also, if I suspect a friend of mine (guy or girl) cheating on his boy/girlriend and he/she asks me about it, I will lie. It's not up to me to tell them. I will confront my friend about it though, and see to it that they are honest instead.
BTW: paper so you've won/should respond.
-
Dude, calling me rotten is not nice. I didn't call you any names, I just didn't like the list. No need to take it so personal. That's just being hurtful.. Instigating that I'm not "level-headed?" Saying I have an unpleasant attitude? Wow.. you're taking this a step up.. just because I didn't see your other post until now? :C But yeah to call me rotten for that is hurtful and IMO unnecessary.. How about we both calm down?
-
Oh my God :lol
-
Meh. The list would be funnier if I didn't know dudes that pretty much are defined by this list. "Nah bro, I'm whoppin his ass next time I see him bro. Why? Cuz I saw him talkin to her even though me and her went out for a week three years ago bro. That shit's not cool, he's s'posed to "aks" me if he's allowed bro"
-
can I hug you Kura
-
Kura, it seems to me you've had some bad experiences with men, I understand that. Men can be dicks. The thing about this list is that it's supposed to be funny. Not offensive. I don't even see how it could... I'm baffled to see you offended by it.
My point is though that no one is ever going to take this list seriously (except you apparently)... And as said before, if guys behave like that it won't be because they're read this, it's the other way around.
Also, if I suspect a friend of mine (guy or girl) cheating on his boy/girlriend and he/she asks me about it, I will lie. It's not up to me to tell them. I will confront my friend about it though, and see to it that they are honest instead.
BTW: paper so you've won/should respond.
Yeah, I have. No, I don't believe men are dicks. Everyone can be a dick, but I know some douchey guys who go by this list like it's their personal bible. (Haha kinda like what Fuzzboy says) And yes, I get that it was supposed to be funny now.. but as I said earlier, I stopped reading at that other one statement in that list because it hit a bad chord with me and I thought it was really degrading to women in relationships because I was with a friend who had to go through that. It's hard, man. But at the same time I realize I shouldn't have exploded and went the total opposite direction (declaring that I find the list disrespectful etc), you're completely right.
:C I'm just now upset that people keep throwing it in my face.. It's really frustrating. I don't think it's a crime to be serious or "easily offended" is it? But I've explained myself and I don't know why people don't understand where I'm coming from and just drop it. Now I'm just being made fun of and it's really not nice.
-
Isn't it passed all of your bedtimes?
-
Kura, it seems to me you've had some bad experiences with men, I understand that. Men can be dicks. The thing about this list is that it's supposed to be funny. Not offensive. I don't even see how it could... I'm baffled to see you offended by it.
My point is though that no one is ever going to take this list seriously (except you apparently)... And as said before, if guys behave like that it won't be because they're read this, it's the other way around.
Also, if I suspect a friend of mine (guy or girl) cheating on his boy/girlriend and he/she asks me about it, I will lie. It's not up to me to tell them. I will confront my friend about it though, and see to it that they are honest instead.
BTW: paper so you've won/should respond.
Yeah, I have. No, I don't believe men are dicks. Everyone can be a dick, but I know some douchey guys who go by this list like it's their personal bible. (Haha kinda like what Fuzzboy says) And yes, I get that it was supposed to be funny now.. but as I said earlier, I stopped reading at that other one statement in that list because it hit a bad chord with me and I thought it was really degrading to women in relationships because I was with a friend who had to go through that. It's hard, man. But at the same time I realize I shouldn't have exploded and went the total opposite direction (declaring that I find the list disrespectful etc), you're completely right.
:C I'm just now upset that people keep throwing it in my face.. It's really frustrating. I don't think it's a crime to be serious or "easily offended" is it? But I've explained myself and I don't know why people don't understand where I'm coming from and just drop it. Now I'm just being made fun of and it's really not nice.
I understand where you're coming from; I just think you're being ridiculous. This list is trivial and silly, not to mention a parody. Save it for someone/something that actually deserves it.
No one's making fun of you. I'm not. I just found it disappointing that you chose to use this thread as your misapplied soapbox.
-
Kura, it seems to me you've had some bad experiences with men, I understand that. Men can be dicks. The thing about this list is that it's supposed to be funny. Not offensive. I don't even see how it could... I'm baffled to see you offended by it.
My point is though that no one is ever going to take this list seriously (except you apparently)... And as said before, if guys behave like that it won't be because they're read this, it's the other way around.
Also, if I suspect a friend of mine (guy or girl) cheating on his boy/girlriend and he/she asks me about it, I will lie. It's not up to me to tell them. I will confront my friend about it though, and see to it that they are honest instead.
BTW: paper so you've won/should respond.
Yeah, I have. No, I don't believe men are dicks. Everyone can be a dick, but I know some douchey guys who go by this list like it's their personal bible. (Haha kinda like what Fuzzboy says) And yes, I get that it was supposed to be funny now.. but as I said earlier, I stopped reading at that other one statement in that list because it hit a bad chord with me and I thought it was really degrading to women in relationships because I was with a friend who had to go through that. It's hard, man. But at the same time I realize I shouldn't have exploded and went the total opposite direction (declaring that I find the list disrespectful etc), you're completely right.
:C I'm just now upset that people keep throwing it in my face.. It's really frustrating. I don't think it's a crime to be serious or "easily offended" is it? But I've explained myself and I don't know why people don't understand where I'm coming from and just drop it. Now I'm just being made fun of and it's really not nice.
I understand where you're coming from; I just think you're being ridiculous. This list is trivial and silly, not to mention a parody. Save it for someone/something that actually deserves it.
No one's making fun of you. I'm not. I just found it disappointing that you chose to use this thread as your misapplied soapbox.
Alright, that's fine. I don't want or like to dispute with you. I like you as a member. I just really didn't appreciate that you had to put me down for it, though, as it did feel like you were making fun of me when you chose some of the words that you did. I didn't mean for it to seek attention, I just wrote what first popped into my head. For that, I'm sorry for writing it in the first place. I guess with that perspective, my response was also a bit silly and I did overreact. You're right in that respect! Perhaps I am a bit sensitive tonight (cue PMS jokes) but I appreciate that you at least understand where I am coming from.
-
Isn't it passed all of your bedtimes?
There are other parts of the world as well.
-
Fwiw (and mainly 'cause Kura's getting precious little support!) I've never been comfortable with the pride with which blokes cling to misogenistic stereotypes. There's often a sort of undercurrent of bravado that blurs the line between humour and seriousness, which means that when viewed through the right lenses the gross exaggeration is pretty funny, but it doesn't particularly reflect well on gender politics. Offence is taken rather than given, but here, for once, I kind of sympathise more with those who go "man, what a bunch of dicks" than "we're just having fun!"
I genuinely think it's a harmful list of stereotypes. Yes, we get it - we're so neanderthal and clunky, har har har. Usually pretty funny, but a little hard to take with a pinch of salt when the fastest growing thead on the board right now is just pictures of some model. Don't get me wrong, Susan Coffey is absolutely gorgeous, but the atmosphere round here the last few days is fairly sweaty and testosteroney.
-
Isn't it passed all of your bedtimes?
There are other parts of the world as well.
Really? You're joking right?
-
whats the male to female ratio on DTF?
just wondering.
-
Isn't it passed all of your bedtimes?
Oh, the irony.
-
Isn't it passed all of your bedtimes?
There are other parts of the world as well.
Really? You're joking right?
Yeah, I was kidding. :D
whats the male to female ratio on DTF?
just wondering.
Male to Female Ratio: 10.3:1
-
well that explains the testosterone
-
Isn't it passed all of your bedtimes?
Oh, the irony.
Do you even know the meaning of that word, little one?
-
Dude, I'm free to have an opinion, aren't I? I'm not attacking you.. I just don't find it funny. I don't see anything wrong with that; I'm just sharing an experience and an opinion. Please don't criticize my thoughts..
Why are you being a downer on what I want to say just because you don't agree with it? I feel like now you're imposing that I should take it in a different way just because what I said was unexpected or "more serious." If this is not here for discussion, why did you even make it its own thread instead of posting it in the chat or giving it to a buddy over an IM? Come on, man.. I know you're cooler than this so why don't you just let me speak my mind freely?
Ignore the post if you don't agree with me; don't tell me to loosen up because I feel strongly about it due to a personal experience :C It's like an atheist telling someone who's religious to stop believing in fairy tales. That's why I find it even more offensive.
(https://imagemacros.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/oh_you.jpg)
-
Fwiw (and mainly 'cause Kura's getting precious little support!) I've never been comfortable with the pride with which blokes cling to misogenistic stereotypes. There's often a sort of undercurrent of bravado that blurs the line between humour and seriousness, which means that when viewed through the right lenses the gross exaggeration is pretty funny, but it doesn't particularly reflect well on gender politics. Offence is taken rather than given, but here, for once, I kind of sympathise more with those who go "man, what a bunch of dicks" than "we're just having fun!"
I genuinely think it's a harmful list of stereotypes. Yes, we get it - we're so neanderthal and clunky, har har har. Usually pretty funny, but a little hard to take with a pinch of salt when the fastest growing thead on the board right now is just pictures of some model. Don't get me wrong, Susan Coffey is absolutely gorgeous, but the atmosphere round here the last few days is fairly sweaty and testosteroney.
As is usually the case (except with The Count of Tuscany :P), Rob expresses my view more eloquently than I ever could.
-
but the atmosphere round here the last few days is fairly sweaty and testosteroney.
last few days
Er..
-
but the atmosphere round here the last few days is fairly sweaty and testosteroney.
last few days
Er..
Stand by it. We're usually a bunch of pansies. But if it helps, parse "fairly" as "particularly."
-
WTF this was a good thread at first, who the hell thought it was a great plan to turn this into a debate about feminism??
Especially since the whole point of the list was to make fun of men in the first place :lol :lol
-
5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)
6. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
9. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.
12. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
14. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.
20. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
22. Only in a situation of mortal danger or ass peril are you permitted to kick another member of the male species in the testicles.
24. Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed.
26. Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object, or it is at a reasonable time.
29. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.
30. Phrases that may never be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"Come on, give me one more, harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers"
"Nice ass! Are you a Sagittarius?"
33. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary.
34. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way up so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.
44. A mans gotta scratch what a mans gotta scratch. This applies to picking as well. Let the man be.
oup his money by immediately completing a more daring challenge. If he refuses the challenge or chooses not to propose one, then and only then, must the money be paid.
52. Masturbate often. (exception: if your roommate is due back within the hour)
53. If a hot girl shall happen to pass by while you are in an arms reach of your buddy, you must, and will, tap him on the shoulder to make him aware of the babe.
57. You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after reassembling or assembling an object. In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.
The best ones.
-
Yea! Don't hold me down baby!! (The wife is at the gym so I can type this) :lol
-
No offense, but I think this list is pretty retarded. Lying to someone's wife about their husband's whereabouts is just devious, sly, and sleazy; I stopped reading there because no REAL man should be so deceptive to someone who just cares about their loved one's whereabouts.
Not to mention the fact that this list deems anything slightly homosexual to be suddenly "Not MANLY".. whoever wrote this is EXTREMELY homophobic. It's ridiculous.
strong troll or strong butt hurt.
-
I can't fap to this
-
In an exercise devoted to fairness, I've just googled these Rules for Being a Woman.
Now we can all be happy, because these rules are to be taken seriously or else you are not a REAL woman. I'm serious.
1. PMS is every woman’s prerogative. It is always a good enough excuse for anything, and take advantage of it whenever possible.
2. Don’t be afraid to gossip. It is your responsibility to make sure your friends are well-informed about the latest happenings.
3. You may change your mind whenever you wish.
4. Never give a direct answer when a man asks you a question.
5. It is not wrong to withhold sex to get what you want.
6. Always ask a guy “What are you thinking?” after sex.
7. If he doesn’t call, take it as the most personal of insults.
8. Never believe “I love you” if it comes before sex.
9. Always wear matching bra and panties for the first few dates, then you can switch to the comfortable old plain white cotton ones you have impressed him with the stylishness of your underwear.
10. ALWAYS say that he is the best you’ve ever had.
11. Fake orgasms when necessary.
12. Find a “cute giggle”. Practice it constantly.
13. Learn to toss your hair around, even if it’s short.
14. Never admit that you’re not a real blonde.
15. Shopping always makes you feel better.
16. When with a group of girls, it is customary to talk particularly about the girl who is not present.
17. Always try to set up your single female friends with your single male friends.
18. Never forget that men are pigs.
19. Jeans: tighter is better.
20. The fact that you menstruate makes it okay to bitch as much as you want about anything you want.
21. Criticize every other woman behind her back.
22. Never reveal the full extent of your intelligence to a man.
23. Pretend that you can’t do certain “guy” things like change a flat tire. It’s even okay to claim that you can’t pump gasoline or check the oil. Helpless females make a guy feel macho.
24. If a guy really cares about you, he should be able to read your mind. You needn’t have to explain yourself, ever. And he should know what’s expected of him without you saying anything.
25. Be a tease.
26. Men always want to know how they compare to the last guy you were with.
27. Never dutch treat.
28. If he doesn’t spend money on you, don’t waste your time.
29. Guys like to see you flirt with their friends.
30. Develop a “cute butt” scale and use it to rate every guy’s butt that you see.
31. Never go to the ladies room alone, if you can help it.
32. Carry feminine hygiene products with you where ever you go, and don’t be shy about showing them to people.
-
Jen, I am taking SO MUCH OFFENSE FROM THAT LIST RIGHT NOW.
I can't even express, (in well thought-out, organized collection of relevant and accurate comments) how offensive that list is.
I mean, it's sexist, isn't it? Or something like that?
It has to be degrading to somebody in some way, right?
ah whatever. I'm going to go play pokemon or something.
-
19. Jeans: tighter is better.
OMFG YES
18. Never forget that men are pigs.
Oh...damn. I played right into that trap, didn't I?
-
black people love fried chicken.
We do.
I can't fap to this
-
black people love fried chicken.
We do.
I can't fap to this
I like you
You can borrow Susan
-
black people love fried chicken.
We do.
I can't fap to this
I like you
You can borrow Susan
You wont get her back. Once you go Black, you dont go back
-
WTF this was a good thread at first, who the hell thought it was a great plan to turn this into a debate about feminism??
Especially since the whole point of the list was to make fun of men in the first place :lol :lol
That happened with this thread, too: https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=19674.0 (https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=19674.0) While reading the list I was telling myself "I hope no girl takes this thread seriously" but hell, it happenned. I think making fun of stereotypes is funny and it doesn't do any harm, if some guy is stupid enough to cheat his wife because he thinks it's the cool thing to do, or idiot girls treat their husbands like crap or use sex to get what they want, let them be.
There were some funny ones, the umbrella one was the best, and the one about movies with dancing themes is my new facebook status.
-
Oh god this thread. :rollin :rollin
-
How has this thread not been locked?! :o :lol
-
:facepalm:
-
50. Only acceptable time when a man is allowed to cry:
The day Anna Kornikova chooses a husband.
Lol... really? Anna Kournikova? How old is this thing?
-
black people love fried chicken.
We do.
I can't fap to this
I like you
You can borrow Susan
You wont get her back. Once you go Black, you dont go back
:lol :lol :lol
-
black people love fried chicken.
We do.
I can't fap to this
I like you
You can borrow Susan
You wont get her back. Once you go Black, you dont go back
Unless she likes her soft serve ice cream as a swirl. ;)
-
50. Only acceptable time when a man is allowed to cry:
The day Anna Kornikova chooses a husband.
Lol... really? Anna Kournikova? How old is this thing?
I was thinking the same thing. I guess around '98-'99, when she was still a sensation.
-
Isn't Chris Evert available?
-
Isn't Chris Evert available?
Fuck that! Where's Billie Jean King when you need her?
-
Isn't Chris Evert available?
Fuck that! Where's Billie Jean King when you need her?
I 'd rather sleep with Bobby Riggs. :lol
-
Isn't Chris Evert available?
Fuck that! Where's Billie Jean King when you need her?
I 'd rather sleep with Bobby Riggs. :lol
Golly, who wouldn't? I heard it's like he's smuggling a coffee table leg in his tennis shorts.
-
Isn't Chris Evert available?
Fuck that! Where's Billie Jean King when you need her?
I 'd rather sleep with Bobby Gerald Riggs. :lol
I knew you were a football fan, but that's ridiculous.
-
Isn't Chris Evert available?
Fuck that! Where's Billie Jean King when you need her?
I 'd rather sleep with Bobby Gerald Riggs. :lol
I knew you were a football fan, but that's ridiculous.
Heh, perhaps the young man wants to see a Falcon's bird.
-
Not gonna lie, I laughed pretty hard at this:
60. Any object thrown with reasonable speed and accuracy, MUST be caught.
-
Well, maybe John Riggins but I'm on top.
-
27. Never dutch treat.
Never dutch treat? Jen, humor me...wtf does that mean???
-
27. Never dutch treat.
Never dutch treat? Jen, humor me...wtf does that mean???
when the chick pays for everything
edit: by the by, my name is Jen
-
I thought it was when you all pay your own share?
-
I thought it was when you all pay your own share?
Yes. Gadough, you are so screwed. Brush up so you know all about girls and such.....
-
I thought it was when you all pay your own share?
my bad, you're right
-
The idea of a girl paying for everything is just ridiculous. :P
-
Psh, woman better pay for everything. She's lucky I'm not charging her just to be around me.
*in this case 'woman' is non-existent, for self-evident reasons
-
The idea of a girl paying for everything is just ridiculous. :P
I dunno, I wouldn't mind it if the fairer sex payed for my meals
-
The idea of a girl paying for everything is just ridiculous. :P
But it can happen. I've been present for such occasions...
-
:lol
-
The girl I like that I've been hanging out with has paid for me a couple times. And she picks me up and drops me off every time. Makes me feel shitty :(
-
Hey nothing wrong with that, I was totally taking the piss, women should pay their share at least
-
The girl I like that I've been hanging out with has paid for me a couple times. And she picks me up and drops me off every time. Makes me feel shitty :(
get her a gift if/when you can afford it; tell her it may not be enough to make up for her kindness, but that it shows your appreciation
-
^^ someone's a romantic
-
:blush
Chicks Respectable single ladies like that, don't they?
-
They do tend to, yes
-
Don't worry guys.....they pay for it later.
-
The girl I like that I've been hanging out with has paid for me a couple times. And she picks me up and drops me off every time. Makes me feel shitty :(
get her a gift if/when you can afford it; tell her it may not be enough to make up for her kindness, but that it shows your appreciation
Thanks man, I'll definitely do that!
-
Don't worry guys.....they pay for it later.
:neverusethis:
The girl I like that I've been hanging out with has paid for me a couple times. And she picks me up and drops me off every time. Makes me feel shitty :(
get her a gift if/when you can afford it; tell her it may not be enough to make up for her kindness, but that it shows your appreciation
Thanks man, I'll definitely do that!
haha, no problem.
like tahlia said, i'm a romantic
i love that shit
-
Don't worry guys.....they pay for it later.
That sounds really sinister :|
-
Don't worry guys.....they pay for it later.
:neverusethis:
The girl I like that I've been hanging out with has paid for me a couple times. And she picks me up and drops me off every time. Makes me feel shitty :(
get her a gift if/when you can afford it; tell her it may not be enough to make up for her kindness, but that it shows your appreciation
Thanks man, I'll definitely do that!
haha, no problem.
like tahlia said, i'm a romantic
i love that shit
I do too but i'm not really in that headspace with this girl because we aren't quite on romantic terms unfortunately.
-
Don't worry guys.....they pay for it later.
That sounds really sinister :|
Or that's what my wife just said. She paying the price for marrying me. :lol
-
:lol
-
I do too but i'm not really in that headspace with this girl because we aren't quite on romantic terms unfortunately.
still, i think it's a nice gesture
although it's up to you whether you think it's required
-
I do too but i'm not really in that headspace with this girl because we aren't quite on romantic terms unfortunately.
still, i think it's a nice gesture
although it's up to you whether you think it's required
Agreed. I think i'm gonna let my debt mount up to a bit more so I can gets her something a bit more than a card or something tiny like that :D
-
Yeah it's still a nice thing to do anyway :)
-
I do too but i'm not really in that headspace with this girl because we aren't quite on romantic terms unfortunately.
still, i think it's a nice gesture
although it's up to you whether you think it's required
Agreed. I think i'm gonna let my debt mount up to a bit more so I can gets her something a bit more than a card or something tiny like that :D
Give her some orgasms. Big huge ones. Girls like that.
-
lol this thread
-
So wait, who's trying to say black people don't love chicken? Y'all know a nigga love chicken...
-
So wait, who's trying to say black people don't love chicken? Y'all know a nigga love chicken...
Uh.....yea.
-
So wait, who's trying to say black people don't love chicken? Y'all know a nigga love chicken...
Uh.....yea.
Oh, it's relevant. Somewhere on that first page... I'm just too lazy to pinpoint it.
-
More of a comment about your language than your point.
-
More of a comment about your language than your point.
-
More of a comment about your language than your point.
I was a little fucked up when I posted that, but it's not that bad of a word in the right context. Ask your black friends.
-
Here it's not in the right context, not even close, watch your language.
-
I do too but i'm not really in that headspace with this girl because we aren't quite on romantic terms unfortunately.
still, i think it's a nice gesture
although it's up to you whether you think it's required
Agreed. I think i'm gonna let my debt mount up to a bit more so I can gets her something a bit more than a card or something tiny like that :D
Give her some orgasms. Big huge ones. Girls like that.
:lol
Have You Had Your Orbert Today? (tm)
-
https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=19674
A previous topic covering some of the same kinds of things. It also turned into a feminism shit-fest. In particular (as mentioned) the nicknames item is 100% spot-on.
-
I read it and thought it was amusing :laugh:
the shit-fests are inevitable, but I agree with you Cozmo, it's mostly just the truth, exaggerated a little for comedic effect.
If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?
-
https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=19674
A previous topic covering some of the same kinds of things. It also turned into a feminism shit-fest. In particular (as mentioned) the nicknames item is 100% spot-on.
how the hell did I miss Jackie's last post in that thread......mother of holy......