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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: Phoenix87x on December 22, 2016, 06:59:40 AM
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Mine would be my failed relationship with my ex-fiance. Everything I have ever set my mind to I have been successful with. Logic and reason has always lead me down the right path, but when it comes to matters of the heart, things have to be approached much more delicately and differently.
I learned that women are not men. Seems very obvious, but its essential and what a fool I was. They look at and react to things totally different than men and I have to understand that, if a relationship is to be successful. I learned not to take a relationship for granted and that complacency is death, and that relationships take continual time and effort. There is no finish line and trophy. And most importantly, I learned that healthy communication is the foundation of a relationship that can go the distance. And maybe most importantly, I learned sometimes you need to know when to let go.
Despite all of that, I probably would never have a successful next relationship, if it wasn't for the lessons learned from this failure.
So what is your greatest failure and if you learned a lesson from it, what was it?
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My life. :lol
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Probably my marriage. I don't know. It's hard to look at it so closely, and for me, it's less about the "failure" itself, than it is the repeat of past mistakes. I suppose I could look at whether I've repeated any disastrous mistakes or not... I didn't do so well at a particular job, and got let go in the market crash of 2008, but I haven't really repeated those mistakes, so...
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My life. :lol
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I'd say probably my early twenties. There wasn't one big thing but it was a point in my life that I was very lazy, unmotivated and it really just compounded into many small failures that lead into me having to work my ass off in my later twenties to make up for time lost.
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My first marriage. Huge fail. When someone says a few years in that you probably shouldn't be together because she's selfish and she knows it, you should probably listen to them. I learned from it though, that my ex's sister-in-law was fucking awesome, so I ended up marrying her years later. And she's still fucking awesome.
So what's the lesson? Never take anything for granted. Every single tiny little thing that happens to you can potentially be the impetus for an enormous life change down the road. I can go back and count a number of little things that, at the time, were no huge big deal to me. Turns out, had those little things not happened, my entire life would've taken an altogether different course.
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Mine would be my failed relationship with my ex-fiance.
Probably the same for me too. Definitely learned a lot about myself going through that process of ending the engagement in discovering what I really think my life is about. I had dedicated 9 years and so much time and energy and devoted my future to that relationship and when it didn't work out, I felt like I had nothing but myself. I kind of learned that the only thing I truly have in this life is my time and since then I had made a very big effort to enjoy the time I have in this world and not force myself into something (like a marriage).
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When I failed my Digital Circuit Design Lab in college, what I learned was that I should schedule to take the pre-requisite first before taking the lab. I think the university didn't catch this because it was a lab course not. I managed to early drop it to save my GPA and took it again the next semester along side of the pre-requisite course (which since I had spent half a semester in the lab, I already knew a bit about it).
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Every single tiny little thing that happens to you can potentially be the impetus for an enormous life change down the road. I can go back and count a number of little things that, at the time, were no huge big deal to me. Turns out, had those little things not happened, my entire life would've taken an altogether different course.
This. Seriously, this. They don't teach you this in school. All the t-shirt bumper sticker slogan ("Shit happens!" and "Love like you have a huge penis, dance like you're Fred fucking Astaire, and laugh like you're going to be hit by a bus tomorrow" or whatever the fuck it is) are full of shit. The details matter. You can't always PLAN them, and you can't always CHANGE them, but they matter. A lot.
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Drug addiction between 1984 and 1989. Short period of time, but could have easily killed me. Five years I'd like to have back. I learned from it that escapism steals time and takes its toll on one's overall dexterity leaving a hole in one's life. I know drug use is more popular and accepted now, and everyone has different experiences, but for me it was escapism and digging a hole that becomes harder and harder to fill over time. That is what I learned.
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How much time do you have...
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Karen Elliott. Junior HS. Hot hot hot. Pinned me against the lockers. Lisa told me "she wants you". Danced together chest to busty chest while my classmates looked on in jealousy. Dude laughed at her "what are you doing with this chink loser?" She hugged me tighter. I failed. Lesson learned : you're never too young to get your pecker wet.
I'm happily married 28 years but I still think about it.
*Edit to add the racist epithet
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Math class in college. Failed it bad. Learned very little from it.
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Math class in college. Failed it bad. Learned very little from it.
Too bad you didn't have me around then.
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Not realizing that Accounting/Finance should have been the major for me to pick when I was 18 and ready for college. I just didn't go that route because it looked too simple for me to do and I wanted challenges to overcome (my ego was really big and in the clouds around 17-18) and had other aspirations (like playing online poker for a living and I failed in that as well due to a lack of discipline. The day the DOJ pulled the plug in playing online poker for money in the big sites in the US was really the writing on the wall for me to not continue to pursue in that direction).
It would take me until 22 and two committed and humbling years in Community College to get back into Cal Poly Pomona with aspirations to graduate with a degree in accounting and I did so.
The lesson would be that if you are absolutely sure a certain profession is extremely doable to your abilities and you want to do it with passion and can make a future living guarantee, I say take that chance while you can when you are younger.
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Math class in college. Failed it bad. Learned very little from it.
Too bad you didn't have me around then.
I always feel that way. :(
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Math class in college. Failed it bad. Learned very little from it.
Too bad you didn't have me around then.
I always feel that way. :(
Well, I can help you with math now, but I doubt you would need it for much.
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Math class in college. Failed it bad. Learned very little from it.
Too bad you didn't have me around then.
I always feel that way. :(
Well, I can help you with math now, but I doubt you would need it for much.
Not math but I just passed my statistics comprehensive test, so hopefully no more of anything resembling math for the rest of my life.
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Math class in college. Failed it bad. Learned very little from it.
Too bad you didn't have me around then.
I always feel that way. :(
Well, I can help you with math now, but I doubt you would need it for much.
Not math but I just passed my statistics comprehensive test, so hopefully no more of anything resembling math for the rest of my life.
Just knowing how to put 6 and 9 together.
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Hard to say, but off the top of my head:
Signing a contract with a noncompete clause that was quite restrictive and was indefinite in term length. Signed it right out of physical therapy school when I was nearly broke and needed a job fast. Didn't think much of it at the time as that big of a deal. But within the last 1-2 years, as coworkers become more disgruntled and the company itself seems to be spiraling down, I realize how shitty that clause is in limiting what other opportunities I can seek out and migrate to. Live and learn.
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Hard to say, but off the top of my head:
Signing a contract with a noncompete clause that was quite restrictive and was indefinite in term length. Signed it right out of physical therapy school when I was nearly broke and needed a job fast. Didn't think much of it at the time as that big of a deal. But within the last 1-2 years, as coworkers become more disgruntled and the company itself seems to be spiraling down, I realize how shitty that clause is in limiting what other opportunities I can seek out and migrate to. Live and learn.
Hey Snow Dog, not sure what state you are in but in a lot of states non-competes are restricted:
https://www.beckreedriden.com/httpwww-beckreedriden-comwp-contentuploads201508noncompetes-50-state-survey-chart-20150823/
In a few states, they aren't even permitted. May be worth checking with an attorney (or three) to get their opinion about how these things are enforced or not in your area. I signed many of these in California where they aren't even permitted. Employers may do it as an intimidation tactic, yet some of the time they aren't worth the paper they are printed on.
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My greatest failure is being unable to save my relationship with my girlfriend of eight years. I have some mental health issues that I was too afraid to work on and those issues are what eventually led to her leaving. It's been a rough few months where I decided to take care of my mental health and I'm just now starting to feel ok. The thing I learned is to start taking care of myself. I was so afraid of neglecting her to focus on myself but if I had just taken care of myself from the beginning I might still have her. I now know that I need to put myself first sometimes and only then will I be able to make the people that I love truly happy.
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My biggest failure is my scholarity, had a vanilla graduation and since I'm stuck with sh*tty works because I didn't choose a way and a university/school to open doors.
Whatever I do, I'll always hate my job, because I can't work in music and I can't be well paid neither
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Hard to say, but off the top of my head:
Signing a contract with a noncompete clause that was quite restrictive and was indefinite in term length. Signed it right out of physical therapy school when I was nearly broke and needed a job fast. Didn't think much of it at the time as that big of a deal. But within the last 1-2 years, as coworkers become more disgruntled and the company itself seems to be spiraling down, I realize how shitty that clause is in limiting what other opportunities I can seek out and migrate to. Live and learn.
Go see an attorney right now. It's very dependent on the state, but the "indefinite" part of that is a huge red flag for me (an attorney that doesn't do a lot of work in the labor field). Many attorney's (at least the good ones) will give you 15 or 30 minutes without the clock running in order to assess the value of your claim and whether it's worth pursuing. Where are you?
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Hard to say, but off the top of my head:
Signing a contract with a noncompete clause that was quite restrictive and was indefinite in term length. Signed it right out of physical therapy school when I was nearly broke and needed a job fast. Didn't think much of it at the time as that big of a deal. But within the last 1-2 years, as coworkers become more disgruntled and the company itself seems to be spiraling down, I realize how shitty that clause is in limiting what other opportunities I can seek out and migrate to. Live and learn.
Go see an attorney right now. It's very dependent on the state, but the "indefinite" part of that is a huge red flag for me (an attorney that doesn't do a lot of work in the labor field). Many attorney's (at least the good ones) will give you 15 or 30 minutes without the clock running in order to assess the value of your claim and whether it's worth pursuing. Where are you?
Living in Oregon. Checked the link that 7th provided (thanks for that, by the way) and these clauses are enforceable for up to two years after leaving, depending on the contract's terms. What I meant by indefinite was that it didn't expire after so long in working for the company. After leaving, I'd be restricted for a year in where I could go, but I'd be home free after that. There's also a loophole saying I could still work for a hospital or skilled nursing facility, or one of its facilities, during that time. I've got an application in to a local hospital network for a position at a satellite clinic of theirs, and interviews went reasonably well. I do appreciate the help. Thanks!