DreamTheaterForums.org Dream Theater Fan Site

General => Archive => Political and Religious => Topic started by: AndyDT on October 31, 2011, 07:52:32 AM

Title: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: AndyDT on October 31, 2011, 07:52:32 AM
If not (or if so) please explain in spiritual/religious terms.

For me the issue has always been no because it's an ego goal (and hence separate from God) and I'd rather devote the time to develop relationship skills.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Genowyn on October 31, 2011, 07:54:04 AM
I see no moral reason not to, so yes.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Dark Castle on October 31, 2011, 08:15:22 AM
After being in relationships where I commit myself to someone and it's just crashed and burned, I'd be open to mixing in casual sex between relationships.  I don't see a reason to think of it a bad thing, and I've basically become Agnostic.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: the Catfishman on October 31, 2011, 08:24:48 AM
I've never done it and am in a long term relationship at the moment but in general I see no moral objection to it if both parties agree with it.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Liberation on October 31, 2011, 08:34:01 AM
Most likely no for reasons which have nothing to do with religion or anything, it just wouldn't feel particularly great for me to do the most intimate thing in life with a person I have no significant emotional connection to. I find sex to be something more than just biology and even though it may be more difficult, I would need the emotional element for it to feel complete.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: MetalMike06 on October 31, 2011, 09:37:25 AM
Most likely no for reasons which have nothing to do with religion or anything, it just wouldn't feel particularly great for me to do the most intimate thing in life with a person I have no significant emotional connection to. I find sex to be something more than just biology and even though it may be more difficult, I would need the emotional element for it to feel complete.

My thoughts exactly.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: eric42434224 on October 31, 2011, 09:48:20 AM
I dont now as I am married.  But when I wasnt in a monogamous relationship, I did.  It was consentual, with no expectations other than feeling really, really good.  And it felt really, really good.  Really, really, really good.  As I orgasmed, I pulled out and yelled very loudly, "hahahahaha...take THAT Ego!"  Over in the corner, Jesus winked and gave me a thumbs-up.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: MasterShakezula on October 31, 2011, 09:50:22 AM
If it's gone about responsibly, I see no reason not to.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: zxlkho on October 31, 2011, 09:57:06 AM
I dont now as I am married.  But when I wasnt in a monogamous relationship, I did.  It was consentual, with no expectations other than feeling really, really good.  And it felt really, really good.  Really, really, really good.  As I orgasmed, I pulled out and yelled very loudly, "hahahahaha...take THAT Ego!"  Over in the corner, Jesus winked and gave me a thumbs-up.
:rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: eric42434224 on October 31, 2011, 12:01:01 PM
If not (or if so) please explain in spiritual/religious terms.

For me the issue has always been no because it's an ego goal (and hence separate from God) and I'd rather devote the time to develop relationship skills.

Why is something you think of as an "ego goal" not something that god wants you to do?  Why are they mutually exclusive?  Couldnt it be entirely possible that god wants you to enjoy sex regardless if it is within the confines of an emotional relationship?
I have sex with my wife on MANY ocassions where there is absolutley zero "emotional" factors involved.  It is outright, pure and simple fuc*ing, done only for the physical pleasure.  No deepening of the relationship.  No procreation.  Hell, sometimes we dont even kiss, no foreplay, I just bend her over the table.  Boom...just a lust filled ego bang.
How do you reconcile an obvious "ego" lay within a relationship?
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: snapple on October 31, 2011, 12:01:54 PM
Most likely no for reasons which have nothing to do with religion or anything, it just wouldn't feel particularly great for me to do the most intimate thing in life with a person I have no significant emotional connection to. I find sex to be something more than just biology and even though it may be more difficult, I would need the emotional element for it to feel complete.

this + religious reasons.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: eric42434224 on October 31, 2011, 12:11:02 PM
I think some people would benefit separating the two acts.  They are not the same, and shouldnt be compared as such.  There can be "fuc*king", and there can be "making love", with differing degrees of emotion and attachment between the two.  In many cases the lack of emotional attachment can enhance the experience of the former, just like deeper emotional attachment can increase the experience of the latter.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: kirksnosehair on October 31, 2011, 12:29:02 PM
I haven't done that since being married, but yeah, sure, I'm all for it.   As long as both parties are of legal age.  Why not?   


Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: eric42434224 on October 31, 2011, 12:33:52 PM
I had casual hook-up sex with the one who eventually became my wife.  It was the "one night stand that never ended".  I have been having casual hook-up sex with the same person for 10 years.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Rathma on October 31, 2011, 12:35:41 PM
If it's a thing just naturally happens I don't see how it's an ego goal.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: ClairvoyantCat on October 31, 2011, 01:46:27 PM
Quote
Would you hook up for "casual sex"?

Yes.  What time/whose place?
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Dark Castle on October 31, 2011, 02:05:35 PM
Quote
Would you hook up for "casual sex"?

Yes.  What time/whose place?
Higbie Hall #418, 9:00 pm.  Be there or be square.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: jcmistat on October 31, 2011, 03:01:35 PM
That would be a hell yes. I'm not religious so that part doesn't effect me. As for as morals I see sex as more of a pleasure act than an emotional act. It varies a lot, depends on who you're with how long you've known them but there's many people who constantly meet up for a long time and just have sex to have sex.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: zxlkho on October 31, 2011, 04:35:39 PM
What really blows my mind about this kind of question is how some people (not calling anyone out) answer the question with "well morally I do/don't have a problem with it..." then proceed to proclaim that some kind of objective set of morals actually exist.


On topic, hell yeah I would.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: MasterShakezula on October 31, 2011, 04:38:13 PM
I know, right?

I believe it's okay for me to screw around, hence I will do so.  If I believed I didn't, than I wouldn't.  Other people can go ahead and do whatever they want with their sex lives (or lack thereof), according their own individual beliefs; it's not of my concern. 

I can't see how it'd be any more complicated than that. 
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: rumborak on October 31, 2011, 10:16:11 PM
Done it with an ex of mine. Nothing wrong with it, especially if there's been a "drought" on both sides for a while. Makes two people who feel alone not so alone for a while, and there's nothing wrong with that.

rumborak
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Fuzzboy on November 01, 2011, 01:53:59 AM
I got no problem with it.

It's the same as going over to your buddy's house to have a few beers and play Xbox, but instead you're putting your penis in a woman.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Volk9 on November 01, 2011, 03:04:00 AM
Most likely no for reasons which have nothing to do with religion or anything, it just wouldn't feel particularly great for me to do the most intimate thing in life with a person I have no significant emotional connection to. I find sex to be something more than just biology and even though it may be more difficult, I would need the emotional element for it to feel complete.

My thoughts exactly.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Nick on November 01, 2011, 06:28:40 AM
If I weren't in a relationship, and the opportunity presented itself, sure.

I see no moral reason not to, so yes.

Same for me.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: AndyDT on November 01, 2011, 06:45:06 AM
Done it with an ex of mine. Nothing wrong with it, especially if there's been a "drought" on both sides for a while. Makes two people who feel alone not so alone for a while, and there's nothing wrong with that.

rumborak
That's a bit different I think, I'm talking about going from cold. From what you're saying you already had the attachment and had done the relational work earlier on.

Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: rumborak on November 01, 2011, 08:19:10 AM
Well, there was familiarity,  but whatever relationship there was a long time ago (we're talking 10 years between the breakup and having casual sex) was nonexistent. The only thing was that I knew I could trust her, but the very lack of relational attachment was in fact what made it possible.

rumborak
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Sir GuitarCozmo on November 01, 2011, 09:20:19 AM
If single, yes, I would.  I have.  Banged a chick on the road in '97.  She gave me her number and said "next time you guys are back in town, call me."  I knew I was guaranteed laid if we ever came back.  We never went back and I never saw her again.  Eh.  Makes a better story this way, anyway.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: obscure on November 01, 2011, 09:34:54 AM
Quote
Would you hook up for "casual sex"?

Yes.  What time/whose place?
:lol
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: King Postwhore on November 01, 2011, 06:45:57 PM
If I was single....YES!!
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: ReaperKK on November 02, 2011, 07:23:01 AM
I've done it before with an ex of mine and I don't see how there would be a problem with consenting adults.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Cyclopssss on November 02, 2011, 07:56:58 AM
 I always like to think I would and have come close a couple times, but it never happened.

I'm in a relationship, btw...  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Dublagent66 on November 02, 2011, 08:19:37 AM
I've done it before and it's pretty much meaningless.  Sex or making love or whatever is so much more meaningful with a special person that I bond with and get along with.  Once you've found that, nothing else matters.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: eric42434224 on November 02, 2011, 08:56:04 AM
I've done it before and it's pretty much meaningless.  Sex or making love or whatever is so much more meaningful with a special person that I bond with and get along with.  Once you've found that, nothing else matters.

It isnt meaningless.  It feels awesome and is fun.  Thats enough meaning to do LOTS of things.

Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: hefdaddy42 on November 02, 2011, 09:48:28 AM
I wouldn't hook up for casual sex, but I don't see how it is an ego thing.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: obscure on November 02, 2011, 09:51:59 AM
:clap:
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: j on November 02, 2011, 04:03:25 PM
I had a lot of "casual sex" before meeting my wife.  Some of it I'd take back, some of it I wouldn't, but I'm not against it on principle.

I'd like to think there's a healthy balance somewhere between the puritanical "sex is the ultimate sacred act and it is evil if done outside these constraints" and "sex should be treated like a meaningless animal instinct that warrants little to no consideration or discernment."

I wouldn't hook up for casual sex, but I don't see how it is an ego thing.

I think it is for some people.  For most, it's an attempt to satisfy a primal urge.  Simple as that.

-J
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: obscure on November 02, 2011, 10:29:59 PM
And that healthy balance is at: 90% meaningless 10% ultimate sacred act.  :lol







j/k guys... I've never had meaningless sex......









because sex is always meaningful no matter what :neverusethis:







jokes aside... What Hef said is really important.... wanting to have sex is OK.... having sex for only bodily needs with a partner who wants to same thing is OK too... (only theoretically for me) but sex for the male ego..... only for a score ... to show off......... now it's not cool....  it's cheap and childish.... and lame... and nonsense....

and you're highly likely to break a girl's heart if she's secretly in love with you........


(not from experience, I swear  ::) )
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: El Barto on November 03, 2011, 08:50:09 AM
I totally agree that an intimate bond makes sex all the better,  but I'm at a loss to why people think it's a requirement.  For some reason,  getting it on seems to be an area where plenty of people feel that it's an all or nothing endeavor--if it can't be the world's greatest, then it's not worth doing.  Strange behavior, IMO.

And the notion that feeding one's ego is necessarily a bad thing is baffling as well.  I don't see what purpose there could be without indulging it from time to time.  From what I can tell, Andy,  your ego could probably use a pretty big meal right about now.  Hell,  even a couple of saltines would probably improve things quite a bit.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: AndyDT on November 06, 2011, 03:36:05 PM
I know from experience that following ego does not boost self-esteem. I differentiate ego from self-esteem which some refer to as healthy ego or healthy narcissism.

To give an example, I contacted a xian woman via internent recently and she was  a bit insulting, not answering the post. I thought she was flirting so I replied positively. Then a couple of weeks later she replies and we end up speaking for an hour. She invites herself over and I say I don't work like that but would meet for a drink. So we meet and she says she has  a mental disorder and 5 minutes into the date starts acting out. She then phones somebody and says she has a situation developing and she's very worried or something. Eventually I offer to leave and we depart amicably. If I'd followed ego I probably would have instantly invited her over in the first place.

In fact I've sent a few texts to her since and I'm trying to finish positively whereas my ego is crying out for the attention. Recently as I probabyl mentioned here I kept going out with a woman because  I wanted the connection but didn't have the "chemistry". If I'd kept going I'd say that would have been ego.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Chino on November 06, 2011, 06:19:56 PM
The only reason it seems wrong is because we have been told growing up that meaningless sex is bad and that sex should be special. Had we grown up in a society where it was frowned upon to only have sex with those you love, meaningless sex would be the most awesome thing in the world.

I'm not saying sex with a partner isn't great/different. Of course there is a connection that you can't find with a stranger. However, there are awesome things you can't really do with a partner (most of the time) but can easily get away with while having sex with a stranger. By awesome things I mean being really rough, filthy, and not having to have to respect the one you are having sex with. I don't mean beating the shit of of a stranger while having sex, or anything anything along the lines ofnrape, I don't mean it like that.. I could never imagine getting violent (playfully) with my girlfriend, but with a stranger... hell yeah. I know not everyone is into that kind of thing, but kinda like it.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Perpetual Change on November 06, 2011, 06:27:40 PM
What I posted in the prostitution thread:

"I dunno. I just can't do the whole sex without strings attached thing. It's weird, and makes me feel very awkward. I'm already awkward enough, being close or inside of someone I don't or barely know just kinda would send me into a panic attack."

I know that might seem weird, but I don't think I'd enjoy a casual hook-up honestly. I'm too addicted not to the sex itself but to all the baggage that comes with it. If I just want to get off, I'll watch a porno instead.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: obscure on November 07, 2011, 03:41:20 AM
GFs/wives might like getting violent (playfully), dirty and filthy during sex.... don't assume to much... and have a go.... don not scare the ladies of course.. usually they don't even know that they might like it.... elevate it gradually... one new craziness at a time... you'd be surprised....
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: livehard on November 07, 2011, 11:58:27 AM
agreed, girls are much more dirty than they even know...  Its all about taking charge, which they love.  I think thats why rape fantasies are so prevelant for chicks.  If you dont give it a shot (not rape) they prolly wont. 

moreover, i dont think there's anything sacred about sex.  With the girls Ive been with there have been 1000x more sacred moments, and most of them dont necissarily involve touching.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: obscure on November 07, 2011, 05:12:49 PM
rape fantasy :caffeine:
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: rumborak on November 07, 2011, 11:08:55 PM
With the girls Ive been with there have been 1000x more sacred moments, and most of them dont necissarily involve touching.

This, absolutely. It's the non-physical, unspoken stuff that makes a relationship magical, not the sex. Sex is great and certainly can make or break a relationship, but in the end it's a bit like going white water rafting together. It's the fact that you're doing a thoroughly pleasing physical activity together that is its major value and that bonds you. Not some glorious union where cherubims are singing from the heavens. I've said it before, and with the obvious implication, Andy if you've had sex before I can't imagine you haven't been struck by the mechanic-ness of it.

rumborak
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Cyclopssss on November 08, 2011, 01:40:42 AM
rape fantasy :caffeine:

Nope, does nothing for me...
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: obscure on November 08, 2011, 01:43:26 AM
damn... I'll try to find another partner then....   :P
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Cyclopssss on November 08, 2011, 02:54:25 AM
Oh, hell....I guess I could be persuaded....so who'll bring the cuffs then?  :police:
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: obscure on November 08, 2011, 02:57:21 AM
But I can't be... not by you....  :hat
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: AndyDT on November 08, 2011, 03:16:40 AM
With the girls Ive been with there have been 1000x more sacred moments, and most of them dont necissarily involve touching.

This, absolutely. It's the non-physical, unspoken stuff that makes a relationship magical, not the sex. Sex is great and certainly can make or break a relationship, but in the end it's a bit like going white water rafting together. It's the fact that you're doing a thoroughly pleasing physical activity together that is its major value and that bonds you. Not some glorious union where cherubims are singing from the heavens. I've said it before, and with the obvious implication, Andy if you've had sex before I can't imagine you haven't been struck by the mechanic-ness of it.

rumborak
PM if you want to ask personal questions. You've just underlined everything I'm saying: the relational stuff and being with somebody rather than what I would call casual i.e. invite a stranger over straight away as in the recent example I talked about. I'm not talking about sex being ethereal at all just devoting one's life to relationship rather than self-serving. So yes, I agree.

Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: HeAvY-MeTaL-MaN on November 08, 2011, 08:58:56 AM
I wouldn't just have casual sex with a lady I have just met. Who knows where she has been, what she has got, what kind of person she is?
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Nick on November 08, 2011, 09:12:36 AM
I wouldn't just have casual sex with a lady I have just met. Who knows where she has been, what she has got, what kind of person she is?

Always wear protection, whether you know someone well or not!
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: HeAvY-MeTaL-MaN on November 08, 2011, 09:15:41 AM
I have known, and been with my current partner for well over 6 years, so should I still be wearing protection?  :biggrin:
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Nick on November 08, 2011, 09:16:47 AM
Trust them all you want as far as STDs are concerned, just know that even when taken properly birth control is not 100% effective.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: HeAvY-MeTaL-MaN on November 08, 2011, 09:17:59 AM
True my man, but does that mean you always wear protection regardless?
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Nick on November 08, 2011, 09:26:59 AM
True my man, but does that mean you always wear protection regardless?

I was in a committed and safe relationship for 2.5 years before, and even though she was on the pill I always wore protection, partially because the thought of a kid at this point of my life scares the shit out of me. It doesn't help my ex was a supreme klutz regularly forgetting a pill or taking it at the wrong hour etc. That said I have much more faith in my current girlfriend but still feel double protection is a good thing. I can see there being a time when we have been together longer that perhaps the pill and a calendar method could be used a week or so out of the month for still doubly protected no-condom fun, but for now I will always use one for sure.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: HeAvY-MeTaL-MaN on November 08, 2011, 09:31:52 AM
You are a very sensible fella, fair play to you dude.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: El Barto on November 08, 2011, 10:10:17 AM
With the girls Ive been with there have been 1000x more sacred moments, and most of them dont necissarily involve touching.

This, absolutely. It's the non-physical, unspoken stuff that makes a relationship magical, not the sex. Sex is great and certainly can make or break a relationship, but in the end it's a bit like going white water rafting together. It's the fact that you're doing a thoroughly pleasing physical activity together that is its major value and that bonds you. Not some glorious union where cherubims are singing from the heavens. I've said it before, and with the obvious implication, Andy if you've had sex before I can't imagine you haven't been struck by the mechanic-ness of it.

rumborak
PM if you want to ask personal questions. You've just underlined everything I'm saying: the relational stuff and being with somebody rather than what I would call casual i.e. invite a stranger over straight away as in the recent example I talked about. I'm not talking about sex being ethereal at all just devoting one's life to relationship rather than self-serving. So yes, I agree.
Why must devoting one's life to anything factor into the equation?  What's wrong with just occasionally trying to enjoy yourself?  Not everything that exists does so solely as a means of betterment.

I can name countless things that I enjoy doing.  I suppose that most of them would be better if done with the love of my life sitting next to me.  That doesn't mean that they're not worth doing otherwise. 
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: livehard on November 08, 2011, 11:55:00 AM
True my man, but does that mean you always wear protection regardless?

I was in a committed and safe relationship for 2.5 years before, and even though she was on the pill I always wore protection, partially because the thought of a kid at this point of my life scares the shit out of me. It doesn't help my ex was a supreme klutz regularly forgetting a pill or taking it at the wrong hour etc. That said I have much more faith in my current girlfriend but still feel double protection is a good thing. I can see there being a time when we have been together longer that perhaps the pill and a calendar method could be used a week or so out of the month for still doubly protected no-condom fun, but for now I will always use one for sure.

try without the rubber dude, its totally different...
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: sonatafanica on November 08, 2011, 02:28:11 PM
i feel like andydt is an angel sent here from heaven to make sure i am being the best christian i can be at all times



also, i don't see any reason not to casually score
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: livehard on November 08, 2011, 02:50:10 PM
I have known, and been with my current partner for well over 6 years, so should I still be wearing protection?  :biggrin:


Do you ever get bored of the sex? Ever wanna just F some other woman even if she were less hot because of the change in scenery?
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: livehard on November 08, 2011, 08:11:46 PM
With the girls Ive been with there have been 1000x more sacred moments, and most of them dont necissarily involve touching.

This, absolutely. It's the non-physical, unspoken stuff that makes a relationship magical, not the sex. Sex is great and certainly can make or break a relationship, but in the end it's a bit like going white water rafting together. It's the fact that you're doing a thoroughly pleasing physical activity together that is its major value and that bonds you. Not some glorious union where cherubims are singing from the heavens. I've said it before, and with the obvious implication, Andy if you've had sex before I can't imagine you haven't been struck by the mechanic-ness of it.

rumborak

Ya exactly.  I find the best moments are the ones where you're doing something together, taking on a challenge or a journey together.  Its the idea that you're there side by side with someone experiecing life together.  Sex is good and all but you can get a much more substantial connection with the person without even touching them.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: yeshaberto on November 08, 2011, 09:28:19 PM
i feel like andydt is an angel sent here from heaven to make sure i am being the best christian i can be at all times



also, i don't see any reason not to casually score

not cool...warning #dos
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: HeAvY-MeTaL-MaN on November 09, 2011, 01:36:57 AM
I have known, and been with my current partner for well over 6 years, so should I still be wearing protection?  :biggrin:


Do you ever get bored of the sex? Ever wanna just F some other woman even if she were less hot because of the change in scenery?
Honestly, yes sometimes I feel like wanting to bash someone else, but I don’t act on it. We all need to settle at some point, and this is likely to be my point. 6 Years I have been totally faithful to my current lady. She is a complete pain in the arse, but she is golden
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Perpetual Change on November 09, 2011, 02:54:27 AM
I was in a committed and safe relationship for 2.5 years before, and even though she was on the pill I always wore protection, partially because the thought of a kid at this point of my life scares the shit out of me. It doesn't help my ex was a supreme klutz regularly forgetting a pill or taking it at the wrong hour etc. That said I have much more faith in my current girlfriend but still feel double protection is a good thing. I can see there being a time when we have been together longer that perhaps the pill and a calendar method could be used a week or so out of the month for still doubly protected no-condom fun, but for now I will always use one for sure.

This. Until I'm ready to have a kid, I'm wrapping it up regardless of whether my lady is on the pill. Aside from klutz related issues like those you mentioned, the effects of the pill can also be cancelled out by commonly prescribed and even over the counter medications. Not taking that chance until after marriage.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: AndyDT on November 09, 2011, 04:21:22 AM
With the girls Ive been with there have been 1000x more sacred moments, and most of them dont necissarily involve touching.

This, absolutely. It's the non-physical, unspoken stuff that makes a relationship magical, not the sex. Sex is great and certainly can make or break a relationship, but in the end it's a bit like going white water rafting together. It's the fact that you're doing a thoroughly pleasing physical activity together that is its major value and that bonds you. Not some glorious union where cherubims are singing from the heavens. I've said it before, and with the obvious implication, Andy if you've had sex before I can't imagine you haven't been struck by the mechanic-ness of it.

rumborak
PM if you want to ask personal questions. You've just underlined everything I'm saying: the relational stuff and being with somebody rather than what I would call casual i.e. invite a stranger over straight away as in the recent example I talked about. I'm not talking about sex being ethereal at all just devoting one's life to relationship rather than self-serving. So yes, I agree.
Why must devoting one's life to anything factor into the equation?  What's wrong with just occasionally trying to enjoy yourself?  Not everything that exists does so solely as a means of betterment.

I can name countless things that I enjoy doing.  I suppose that most of them would be better if done with the love of my life sitting next to me.  That doesn't mean that they're not worth doing otherwise.
Speaking for myself sex involves two people so I have to consider whether the impact on both people is congruent to who I want to be. I don't really want to use somebody as a chemical toilet or vice versa and then expect that I can suddenly switch into living a life of meaning which I DO really want.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Sir GuitarCozmo on November 09, 2011, 09:16:43 AM
chemical toilet

Sounds so clinical and sterile.  I can only imagine how much less amusing it would have been if we'd referred to the girl I used to work with at Pizza Hut (20 years ago) as "chemical toilet" instead of "cum dumpster".  Though thinking about it, it really doesn't sound any more endearing.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: lonestar on November 09, 2011, 09:43:29 AM
chemical toilet

 "cum dumpster"

One of my all time favorite insults.


moreover, i dont think there's anything sacred about sex.  With the girls Ive been with there have been 1000x more sacred moments, and most of them dont necissarily involve touching.

I totally agree with the second part of this, but I do feel there is some sacredness to sex.  I mean, you're laying pipe on a lovely woman, and she is pulling your hair out in ecstasy, screaming "OH GOD, OH GOD I'M COMING", sounds pretty sacred to me.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Infinite Cactus on November 09, 2011, 02:07:43 PM
If I was single then yes, I would go back to just hooking up casually.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Tick on November 10, 2011, 06:20:41 AM
Well, I certainly have quite a few times back in the day but I was in a band so that makes it ok.
Seriously though, I have so I have to answer yes. Pretty much nothing was out of bounds when I was younger.
I'm not endorsing casual sex. I'm just saying I engaged in it. Follow your own moral compass. I didn't have one at the time.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: SeRoX on February 20, 2012, 08:01:30 PM
Not to say big words but I wouldn't hook up for casual sex because, from my view, sex can only be meaningful when love and passion unite. I can't sex with someone just to feed my natural instincts. Even though I know that instincts direct the humanity, so I know I'm against the system but these damn emotions get me every time. 
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Zook on February 20, 2012, 08:14:02 PM
Done it too many times. Wish I hadn't. It's not worth it, and just ends up being awkward in the end.

"Well if it wasn't worth it, why did you do it so many times?"

Well, you see Bob:






(https://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/003/619/Untitled-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Adami on February 20, 2012, 08:22:19 PM
I don't often have a strong urge to bang a random girl, but if I did I wouldn't have a problem with a casual hook up, assuming I didn't have a special girl.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Orbert on February 20, 2012, 10:23:18 PM
Well, I certainly have quite a few times back in the day but I was in a band so that makes it ok.

This.  Back in the day, things were so much simpler.  I would do whatever I could to make it happen before the guitarist or lead singer saw her, because if they did, it was all over.  I did manage to outwit them a few times.

Seriously though, I have so I have to answer yes. Pretty much nothing was out of bounds when I was younger.
I'm not endorsing casual sex. I'm just saying I engaged in it. Follow your own moral compass. I didn't have one at the time.

Wait, that first answer wasn't serious?  Oh well.  I agree with both the first and second answers anyway.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Tick on February 21, 2012, 12:12:30 PM
Well, I certainly have quite a few times back in the day but I was in a band so that makes it ok.

This.  Back in the day, things were so much simpler.  I would do whatever I could to make it happen before the guitarist or lead singer saw her, because if they did, it was all over.  I did manage to outwit them a few times.

Seriously though, I have so I have to answer yes. Pretty much nothing was out of bounds when I was younger.
I'm not endorsing casual sex. I'm just saying I engaged in it. Follow your own moral compass. I didn't have one at the time.

Wait, that first answer wasn't serious?  Oh well.  I agree with both the first and second answers anyway.
The reality is, if your single and a girl is watching you perform and giving you that look its hard to not go there.
When I got married, being in a band lost its luster, even though I still performed another 3 years after getting married. I have never cheated on my wife in 17 years of marriage.

Back to casual sex. I will say that the next day is way awkward. Its hard to be a slut and a gentleman at the same time. I always tried to be both if that's even possible.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Nihil-Morari on February 21, 2012, 12:41:23 PM
Well, I certainly have quite a few times back in the day but I was in a band so that makes it ok.

This.  Back in the day, things were so much simpler.  I would do whatever I could to make it happen before the guitarist or lead singer saw her, because if they did, it was all over.  I did manage to outwit them a few times.

Wait, that first answer wasn't serious?  Oh well.  I agree with both the first and second answers anyway.

As a fellow keyboard player I understand you, haha.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Tick on February 21, 2012, 12:43:53 PM

As
Well, I certainly have quite a few times back in the day but I was in a band so that makes it ok.

This.  Back in the day, things were so much simpler.  I would do whatever I could to make it happen before the guitarist or lead singer saw her, because if they did, it was all over.  I did manage to outwit them a few times.

Wait, that first answer wasn't serious?  Oh well.  I agree with both the first and second answers anyway.

As a fellow keyboard player I understand you, haha.
As a lead singer, all I can say is sorry dudes. :biggrin:
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: TempusVox on February 21, 2012, 12:46:27 PM
As a recovering (self described) sexual addict.. I did "hook up for caual sex" hundreds of times. Probably somewhere in the "Lemmy" range of things if I had to guess. There was a time for many years when every weekend thats all I did. I was usually successful. Seeing as there are 52 weeks in a year, and a Friday AND a Saturday night,  every week...it adds up. Hell...I once had sex with 5 women (individually) in a 24 hour period (Number 3 had just left not more than ten minutes earlier when #4 let herself into my apartment and climbed into the shower with me...I remember thinking.."They HAD to pass each other didn't they?"). I stopped continually trying to remember them all years ago, but I still recall an experience from time to time. It used to drive me crazy. Regrets? Yeah...I have a few. While I enjoyed every minute of it, I wish most of it had never happened really. I missed out on a lot actually. And broke more than a few hearts. Sometimes, when I look at my wife...I think I'm not worthy. Karmacally speaking.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: KevShmev on February 21, 2012, 01:15:10 PM
Here are my standard four reasons as to why masturbation is better than a one-night stand :biggrin::

1. No chance of getting someone pregnant.
2. No chance of catching an STD.
3. It's cheap.
4. If I want to have a quickie, no one is left aggravated or unsatisfied.

 :lol :lol
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Sigz on February 21, 2012, 01:18:05 PM
There's nothing wrong with it as long as you're safe, but casual sex isn't really my thing (well, sex in general isn't, but yeah).
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Tick on February 21, 2012, 01:29:33 PM
As a recovering (self described) sexual addict.. I did "hook up for caual sex" hundreds of times. Probably somewhere in the "Lemmy" range of things if I had to guess. There was a time for many years when every weekend thats all I did. I was usually successful. Seeing as there are 52 weeks in a year, and a Friday AND a Saturday night,  every week...it adds up. Hell...I once had sex with 5 women (individually) in a 24 hour period (Number 3 had just left not more than ten minutes earlier when #4 let herself into my apartment and climbed into the shower with me...I remember thinking.."They HAD to pass each other didn't they?"). I stopped continually trying to remember them all years ago, but I still recall an experience from time to time. It used to drive me crazy. Regrets? Yeah...I have a few. While I enjoyed every minute of it, I wish most of it had never happened really. I missed out on a lot actually. And broke more than a few hearts. Sometimes, when I look at my wife...I think I'm not worthy. Karmacally speaking.
If our pasts condemned us, we would be doomed very early in life. I am thankful I was given a future to right many wrongs.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Super Dude on February 21, 2012, 01:39:15 PM
when love and passion unite

The unreleased, unadulterated love/jam session featuring all original members of DT. Yes, even Chris Collins. Boy, you gotta hear his climax scream.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Sir GuitarCozmo on February 21, 2012, 06:11:49 PM
Is a threesome with Mrs. Cozmo and her friend considered casual?
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: BlobVanDam on February 21, 2012, 07:21:20 PM
Is a threesome with Mrs. Cozmo and her friend considered casual?

That depends........ I'll need more details............ Don't leave anything out though, because that could affect the result..................



:neverusethis:
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Zook on February 21, 2012, 09:39:13 PM
There's nothing wrong with it as long as you're safe, but casual sex isn't really my thing (well, sex in general isn't, but yeah).

Are you a eunuch?
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Orbert on February 21, 2012, 09:44:00 PM
Is a threesome with Mrs. Cozmo and her friend considered casual?

No, that sounds like something you should take very seriously.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Sigz on February 21, 2012, 09:46:31 PM
There's nothing wrong with it as long as you're safe, but casual sex isn't really my thing (well, sex in general isn't, but yeah).

Are you a eunuch?

No, just uninterested.

And no, not a virgin either.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Adami on February 21, 2012, 09:58:45 PM
There's nothing wrong with it as long as you're safe, but casual sex isn't really my thing (well, sex in general isn't, but yeah).

Are you a eunuch?

No, just uninterested.

And no, not a virgin either.

You seemed pretty damn interested when we met. Good thing I already had a butt plug in.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Tick on February 22, 2012, 05:56:41 AM
Is a threesome with Mrs. Cozmo and her friend considered casual?
Not if the friend is wearing an original by Vera Wang. :tick2:
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Orbert on February 22, 2012, 07:31:22 AM
Not for long she ain't.   :hat
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Tick on February 22, 2012, 07:54:44 AM
Not for long she ain't.   :hat
Well, it would still kind of be formal sex. crazy jungle monkey sex mind you, but the gown makes it formal for a limited time.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: AndyDT on February 22, 2012, 09:24:23 AM
As a recovering (self described) sexual addict.. I did "hook up for caual sex" hundreds of times. Probably somewhere in the "Lemmy" range of things if I had to guess. There was a time for many years when every weekend thats all I did. I was usually successful. Seeing as there are 52 weeks in a year, and a Friday AND a Saturday night,  every week...it adds up. Hell...I once had sex with 5 women (individually) in a 24 hour period (Number 3 had just left not more than ten minutes earlier when #4 let herself into my apartment and climbed into the shower with me...I remember thinking.."They HAD to pass each other didn't they?"). I stopped continually trying to remember them all years ago, but I still recall an experience from time to time. It used to drive me crazy. Regrets? Yeah...I have a few. While I enjoyed every minute of it, I wish most of it had never happened really. I missed out on a lot actually. And broke more than a few hearts. Sometimes, when I look at my wife...I think I'm not worthy. Karmacally speaking.
How did you manage that - hookup websites or paying for it?
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Sigz on February 22, 2012, 09:26:46 AM
There's nothing wrong with it as long as you're safe, but casual sex isn't really my thing (well, sex in general isn't, but yeah).

Are you a eunuch?

No, just uninterested.

And no, not a virgin either.

You seemed pretty damn interested when we met. Good thing I already had a butt plug in.

What can I say, beanies and buttplugs are just too hot to resist.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: lonestar on February 22, 2012, 09:41:29 AM
As a recovering (self described) sexual addict.. I did "hook up for caual sex" hundreds of times. Probably somewhere in the "Lemmy" range of things if I had to guess. There was a time for many years when every weekend thats all I did. I was usually successful. Seeing as there are 52 weeks in a year, and a Friday AND a Saturday night,  every week...it adds up. Hell...I once had sex with 5 women (individually) in a 24 hour period (Number 3 had just left not more than ten minutes earlier when #4 let herself into my apartment and climbed into the shower with me...I remember thinking.."They HAD to pass each other didn't they?"). I stopped continually trying to remember them all years ago, but I still recall an experience from time to time. It used to drive me crazy. Regrets? Yeah...I have a few. While I enjoyed every minute of it, I wish most of it had never happened really. I missed out on a lot actually. And broke more than a few hearts. Sometimes, when I look at my wife...I think I'm not worthy. Karmacally speaking.
How did you manage that - hookup websites or paying for it?

College football player.




I have had more than my share of casual sex.  Some came with regrets, some didn't, some I just don't fucking remember.  Gotta love those mornings you wake up smelling of sex and having no idea who you banged.  Those days ended years ago though, I will still hook up, but only in certain situations.  I won't do it just for the conquest or to satisfy the urge, but if I'm having fun with a girl, and things start heading in that direction, what the hell, it's diver down time.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: TempusVox on February 22, 2012, 10:52:51 PM
As a recovering (self described) sexual addict.. I did "hook up for caual sex" hundreds of times. Probably somewhere in the "Lemmy" range of things if I had to guess. There was a time for many years when every weekend thats all I did. I was usually successful. Seeing as there are 52 weeks in a year, and a Friday AND a Saturday night,  every week...it adds up. Hell...I once had sex with 5 women (individually) in a 24 hour period (Number 3 had just left not more than ten minutes earlier when #4 let herself into my apartment and climbed into the shower with me...I remember thinking.."They HAD to pass each other didn't they?"). I stopped continually trying to remember them all years ago, but I still recall an experience from time to time. It used to drive me crazy. Regrets? Yeah...I have a few. While I enjoyed every minute of it, I wish most of it had never happened really. I missed out on a lot actually. And broke more than a few hearts. Sometimes, when I look at my wife...I think I'm not worthy. Karmacally speaking.
How did you manage that - hookup websites or paying for it?

College football player.



That was a large portion of it indeed. I never paid for sex (okay divorce doesn't count here  :\ ), and I never went to a "hookup website". I have done just about everything else. My best friend and I (whom I've implicated as my partner in crime in many of these scenarios) had a bet our junior year (grade 11) of high school to see who could be first to sleep with a girl whose first name began with every letter of the alphabet before we graduated. They had to be done alphabetically, and we couldn't sleep with a girl that the other guy had already slept with. He made it to "N", got "Nancy" pregnant and wound up marrying her for about two years. I made it to the letter "Q". There arent many women in north America whose name begins with Q. To this day, I say I won. He says we never officially finished. I still don't think I've ever slept with a woman whose name began with "Q". In college it was bad...really, really bad. Girls, lonely alumni wives, and even a couple of college professors were willing recepients of "Dr. Tempus' Two-Ball Root Serum". I actually got an A from Dr. Stephanie Wiley in an English class my sophomore year, and not because of anything I'd done academically   :biggrin:. Grad school was just as insane, only then I lived for a while (about a year) in a ménage à trois relationship with two women (Angie and Lisa). We started getting into a pretty fast swinger lifestyle for a while and they in turn brought many other women in to share our bed(s) from time to time. I also sang in a few bands through the years as well to help pay the bills and I would get laid alot from that. It was crazy. Law school was just as intense. And for many years, every night that I went out, I went out for the sole purpose of getting laid. I used to take bets at clubs with friends on whether I could pick up someone. I used to let them pick. I was usually successful. I also was a part owner in a bar for many years. I didn't work the bar (at least not in the sense you would expect  :biggrin: ), but if you think bartenders get a lot of play (they do btw), bar OWNERS get even more. My best friend was a partner in the venture  :omg: . Let's just say that it seemed like nearly every night we had a party after hours of some sort. Women used to line up, literally, at the bar, and we would all do free shots for awhile and then thin them out as we went along. At closing time, we'd say, "Lets keep partying", and they would. We'd lock the doors, kick out the staff; and the bar, the dance floor, tables, a booth, billiards tables, etc. became the beds. It was great. After a while I started having regular hookups almost every night of the week, and it nearly killed me.

There was a girl, Melissa, who used to drive me crazy. She started this crap where she wanted to have a dom relationship with me and have me be her master and she my sex slave. I played along for about a year, but she wanted to come around EVERY NIGHT. It was too much. I actually got bored one night, and ran out of shit for her to do, so after we'd had sex for like the fifth time that day I had her crawl around on all fours and bark like a dog for like two hours! And she did it! :lol I didn't know what else to do with her. She used to page me over and over and over again, or call EVERYWHERE trying to track me down, so I finally would get on the phone and she'd say " I REALLY need to see my Master tonight. Oh, please Master tell me what you want me to do." And I'd get all serious and tell her, "The last time we were together, you didn't blow me enough, so as punishment, I'm going to have to discipline you and spank you the next time I see you"; and she'd get all breathy on the phone and moan and stuff and say "Ummm...Master...yessss...spank me. Spank me hard tonight!", and then I'd say, "Thats not all...as further punishment, you can't talk to me or see me for two weeks!"  :lol :lol She'd get all pouty and whiny, and I'd tell her "I'm serious, instead you have to play with yourself everyday." I'd get a two week break from her, and she'd come see me after two weeks, and tell me all about her masturbatory compliance with my commands, which would in turn make me hard enough to cut diamonds, and I'd take her home and bang the hell out of her, which was a mistake, because she'd start clingey again. But she would do ANYTHING...and I mean anything I told her to do. I started telling her to pick up other women for us both to have sex with and she did. :lol :lol It was INSANE!! When I became an attorney, same thing. Women are attracted not only to power, but the perception of power. When I started writing, same thing. My first book tour, I thought I'd pulled my prostate!

Let me just say, this lifestyle cost me alot emotionally, spiritually and financially. I longed for a healthy relationship. I have been determined to have just that for many, many years now. I can't say that I've always been pure. But I don't have to try so hard to be these days. Mrs. Vox is more than enough for me...right now.  :lol (JK)...My friend? He's long now been remarried, and has a couple of mistresses to this day, and still scores an occassional conquest; all while fathering two kids without his wife finding out!! Crazy!! He also hates it for the most part, but the opposite sex has a long history of making men weak. To paraphrase a line Chris Rock once pointed out, "I have never been able to run fast enough to get away from any pussy that's been after me." Only now, I try to stay away from places where it might sneak up on me.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: Nihil-Morari on February 23, 2012, 01:43:43 AM
 :tup Very cool read, on a lower scale recognisable too.
Title: Re: Would you hook up for "casual sex"?
Post by: AndyDT on February 24, 2012, 05:28:08 AM
As a recovering (self described) sexual addict.. I did "hook up for caual sex" hundreds of times. Probably somewhere in the "Lemmy" range of things if I had to guess. There was a time for many years when every weekend thats all I did. I was usually successful. Seeing as there are 52 weeks in a year, and a Friday AND a Saturday night,  every week...it adds up. Hell...I once had sex with 5 women (individually) in a 24 hour period (Number 3 had just left not more than ten minutes earlier when #4 let herself into my apartment and climbed into the shower with me...I remember thinking.."They HAD to pass each other didn't they?"). I stopped continually trying to remember them all years ago, but I still recall an experience from time to time. It used to drive me crazy. Regrets? Yeah...I have a few. While I enjoyed every minute of it, I wish most of it had never happened really. I missed out on a lot actually. And broke more than a few hearts. Sometimes, when I look at my wife...I think I'm not worthy. Karmacally speaking.
How did you manage that - hookup websites or paying for it?

College football player.



That was a large portion of it indeed. I never paid for sex (okay divorce doesn't count here  :\ ), and I never went to a "hookup website". I have done just about everything else. My best friend and I (whom I've implicated as my partner in crime in many of these scenarios) had a bet our junior year (grade 11) of high school to see who could be first to sleep with a girl whose first name began with every letter of the alphabet before we graduated. They had to be done alphabetically, and we couldn't sleep with a girl that the other guy had already slept with. He made it to "N", got "Nancy" pregnant and wound up marrying her for about two years. I made it to the letter "Q". There arent many women in north America whose name begins with Q. To this day, I say I won. He says we never officially finished. I still don't think I've ever slept with a woman whose name began with "Q". In college it was bad...really, really bad. Girls, lonely alumni wives, and even a couple of college professors were willing recepients of "Dr. Tempus' Two-Ball Root Serum". I actually got an A from Dr. Stephanie Wiley in an English class my sophomore year, and not because of anything I'd done academically   :biggrin:. Grad school was just as insane, only then I lived for a while (about a year) in a ménage à trois relationship with two women (Angie and Lisa). We started getting into a pretty fast swinger lifestyle for a while and they in turn brought many other women in to share our bed(s) from time to time. I also sang in a few bands through the years as well to help pay the bills and I would get laid alot from that. It was crazy. Law school was just as intense. And for many years, every night that I went out, I went out for the sole purpose of getting laid. I used to take bets at clubs with friends on whether I could pick up someone. I used to let them pick. I was usually successful. I also was a part owner in a bar for many years. I didn't work the bar (at least not in the sense you would expect  :biggrin: ), but if you think bartenders get a lot of play (they do btw), bar OWNERS get even more. My best friend was a partner in the venture  :omg: . Let's just say that it seemed like nearly every night we had a party after hours of some sort. Women used to line up, literally, at the bar, and we would all do free shots for awhile and then thin them out as we went along. At closing time, we'd say, "Lets keep partying", and they would. We'd lock the doors, kick out the staff; and the bar, the dance floor, tables, a booth, billiards tables, etc. became the beds. It was great. After a while I started having regular hookups almost every night of the week, and it nearly killed me.

There was a girl, Melissa, who used to drive me crazy. She started this crap where she wanted to have a dom relationship with me and have me be her master and she my sex slave. I played along for about a year, but she wanted to come around EVERY NIGHT. It was too much. I actually got bored one night, and ran out of shit for her to do, so after we'd had sex for like the fifth time that day I had her crawl around on all fours and bark like a dog for like two hours! And she did it! :lol I didn't know what else to do with her. She used to page me over and over and over again, or call EVERYWHERE trying to track me down, so I finally would get on the phone and she'd say " I REALLY need to see my Master tonight. Oh, please Master tell me what you want me to do." And I'd get all serious and tell her, "The last time we were together, you didn't blow me enough, so as punishment, I'm going to have to discipline you and spank you the next time I see you"; and she'd get all breathy on the phone and moan and stuff and say "Ummm...Master...yessss...spank me. Spank me hard tonight!", and then I'd say, "Thats not all...as further punishment, you can't talk to me or see me for two weeks!"  :lol :lol She'd get all pouty and whiny, and I'd tell her "I'm serious, instead you have to play with yourself everyday." I'd get a two week break from her, and she'd come see me after two weeks, and tell me all about her masturbatory compliance with my commands, which would in turn make me hard enough to cut diamonds, and I'd take her home and bang the hell out of her, which was a mistake, because she'd start clingey again. But she would do ANYTHING...and I mean anything I told her to do. I started telling her to pick up other women for us both to have sex with and she did. :lol :lol It was INSANE!! When I became an attorney, same thing. Women are attracted not only to power, but the perception of power. When I started writing, same thing. My first book tour, I thought I'd pulled my prostate!

Let me just say, this lifestyle cost me alot emotionally, spiritually and financially. I longed for a healthy relationship. I have been determined to have just that for many, many years now. I can't say that I've always been pure. But I don't have to try so hard to be these days. Mrs. Vox is more than enough for me...right now.  :lol (JK)...My friend? He's long now been remarried, and has a couple of mistresses to this day, and still scores an occassional conquest; all while fathering two kids without his wife finding out!! Crazy!! He also hates it for the most part, but the opposite sex has a long history of making men weak. To paraphrase a line Chris Rock once pointed out, "I have never been able to run fast enough to get away from any pussy that's been after me." Only now, I try to stay away from places where it might sneak up on me.
Sounds like you have a kind of energy that attracts that the type of woman who was looking for the same kind of thing as you.
The spiritual side reminded me of William Blake's quote "the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."