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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: AndyDT on July 21, 2011, 05:49:29 AM

Title: What's going on here?
Post by: AndyDT on July 21, 2011, 05:49:29 AM

I've been out on a couple of dates with a woman but I'm not sure if the attraction is there. I like her and feel relaxed with her but part of me is telling me to go out with her because not going out with somebody then I've got to start looking again. Another part is saying "are you judging this by looks, who are you to judge". Any advice?

Title: Re: What's going on here?
Post by: Sir GuitarCozmo on July 21, 2011, 06:10:51 AM

Stop analyzing it so much.  Sure her looks drew you to her, it's one of the first things that dictates attraction.  If after time, she has nothing of substance to offer beneath the good looks, then yes, you'd be staying for good looks.  Don't worry why you're with her, just celebrate the fact that you ARE with her and enjoy it.

Title: Re: What's going on here?
Post by: AndyDT on July 21, 2011, 07:40:24 AM

Quote from: Sir GuitarCozmo on July 21, 2011, 06:10:51 AM

Stop analyzing it so much.  Sure her looks drew you to her, it's one of the first things that dictates attraction.  If after time, she has nothing of substance to offer beneath the good looks, then yes, you'd be staying for good looks.  Don't worry why you're with her, just celebrate the fact that you ARE with her and enjoy it.

Thanks, but I mean I'm not sure if the attraction based on looks is there. But I suppose your answer still works.

Title: Re: What's going on here?
Post by: Sir GuitarCozmo on July 21, 2011, 07:46:32 AM

Ahhh, I see.  I thought you meant you were possibly judging based on an attraction to looks.  My bad.

One thing I have noticed in past relationships (and I've had other people echo this sentiment) is that if you start seeing someone who you initially didn't find to be really attractive, as you spend more time with them, get to know them more, etc. somehow, as if by magic, they start to actually look more attractive to you than they were to begin with.

Title: Re: What's going on here?
Post by: King Postwhore on July 21, 2011, 08:09:20 AM

Andy, there is no perfect spouse out there.  We all have faults.  Simply said if it feels right after a month or two go with it.  If you have doubts, I'm guessing it won't work out and don't drag it out for her sake.

Title: Re: What's going on here?
Post by: lonestar on July 21, 2011, 09:39:11 AM

Damn, this turned into a fogie thread quick.  I gotta agree with Coz, your overanylizing. Take time,enjoy her company, be natural. Answers will come at their own pace.

Title: Re: What's going on here?
Post by: AndyDT on July 21, 2011, 10:01:46 AM

Thanks a lot for the advice. I'll try to use it well.