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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: Gadough on May 12, 2011, 05:53:43 PM
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Long story short: I'm 19, a college freshman, I've lived with my parents my whole life, I'll be moving out by mid-June at the latest. I'm moving into a house with two roommates. What I need from you guys is advice - on anything. Anything you feel I should know. Because to be honest, I'm really excited, but I'm also quite nervous. I've never been away from my parents and I've always relied on them. Now I'll have to be independent and take care of myself. I think I'm ready, but if anyone has any good tips, let me know.
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Make sure you don't pack until 5 hours before leaving.
Hopefully, your parents will have done a lot of it for you by then because you were too busy going out with friends to do it yourself.
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Moving far away, like different state, or just down the street? Roommates that you've known a long time, or strangers?
Any possibility of getting a small apartment on your own? Being out on your own is fantastic, but having a couple of roommates isn't the same thing.
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I'm moving in with my best friend that I've known since 3rd grade, and some guy we became friends with this year. I'll be 10 minutes away from my parent's house, so basically right down the street.
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Oh, that's pretty easy then. You don't even have to worry about not taking anything with you :lol
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Learn how to cook, and I don't mean how to make a box of mac & cheese.
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10 minutes down the street is the best of both worlds.
Don't be afraid to visit at weekends. You'll stay in touch with the rents - when you go home, it'll feel like you never left. But this way, you get to be independent.
Heck, I'm forty-five minutes or so down the road and sometimes my parents do the shopping for me. Don't necessarily visit most weekends, but many for sure.
Learn how to cook, and I don't mean how to make a box of mac & cheese.
That, in my experience, will come naturally.
I'm a horrifically fussy chef - very slow and pedantic - so I've ended up making a lot of microwave dinners. Not least because when I want a meal, I want it now! Not thirty minutes down the line. But then, over time, you'll come to resent the crap microwave food, and the ability to cook will sort of organically bloom from that. You'll end up making food 'cause you want nice food, so you sort of pick it up as you go along.
I play it down, a little, because going "oh you'll need to cook" and "don't forget x and y" is a little intimidating. You're right, of course. Cooking is such a good skill to have, and I would never try and dissuade anyone from teaching themselves before they go. But creating a checklist sort of builds it up as a "big thing," whereas I prefer to go with the flow, so I'd tell anyone who can't cook not to fret, 'cause it's not going to be a massive problem.
Three years of living on my own, now, and I'd still describe myself as a "crap chef" at best. But I can make a pasta meal! Bake a potato! Which doesn't sound like much, but it's not like I've been taking inventory. I've gradually began to create lots of lovely stuff. I've never taught myself, it just sort of... happened.
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Oh, that's pretty easy then. You don't even have to worry about not taking anything with you :lol
Don't worry Harry. I'll make sure to bring all my propane. :p
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:neverusethis:
DTVT made a good point. Learning to cook is really important.
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I'll have to start from scratch. I only know how to cook a few basic meals.
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Immediate thoughts:
- You're only living ten minutes away from your parents. Don't think they'll be out of your life, especially if you're as dependent on them as you imply.
- Do what you can to be a good roommate. Having a healthy group dynamic in the house/apartment will make everything in your life better.
- Make sure you know what your boundaries are and stick to them. It was more or less understood that no one stepped into my room without being explicitly invited, which I viewed as a good thing. Not saying you should have this specific boundary (or that it's necessarily healthy to), but that you have to know what yours are and not let them be messed with.
- Be able to take care of yourself. Do you know how to do laundry? If not, learn. It will take you like ten minutes. While as a group you and your roommates need to make sure you're sharing responsibility and have a sense of group loyalty, when it's your turn to use the washing machine you should be able to handle it so your roommates don't find your clothes in the dryer or that the lint catcher hasn't been cleaned.
- I feel the need to reiterate: Don't be a dick to your roommates, be cool with them. And learn how to do anything related to vacuuming, dusting, laundry, washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, etc. etc. etc.
- The biggest thing is your parents won't be around to tell you to do as much. You won't notice certain things your parents made you notice before. This is actually okay, because if for example dust doesn't bother you too much it's okay to not obsessively dust. But when it gets to the point where you get dust on your fingers just by touching the shelves, then it's gotten out of hand and you need to make yourself clean. That level of discipline is crucial.
I'll have to start from scratch. I only know how to cook a few basic meals.
Learn to cook. Your life will be about 10,000 times better.
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That's how I was when I first moved away. I slowly built up things I knew how to cook over the years though.
But, to be honest, I rarely ever spend a lot of time making meals (even though I know how to make quite a few) just because I'm only really cooking for myself so I just don't feel like putting the effort in.
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That's how I was when I first moved away. I slowly built up things I knew how to cook over the years though.
But, to be honest, I rarely ever spend a lot of time making meals (even though I know how to make quite a few) just because I'm only really cooking for myself so I just don't feel like putting the effort in.
Yep! Exactly the same.
I don't have the patience to do proper cooking, truth be told. It's not a waste of time, but I'm far too easily distracted. Which is a shame, as it's an ability I somewhat envy, but I can do little bits and I can make myself lovely lunches that I absolutely savour, so it's not like I'm going hungry or anything. Just stems from necessity.
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Thanks Reap. :) Good advice.
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Hate to be a thread hijacker here, but I was planning on moving out and getting an apartment with a few friends over the summer. The first question that came to me mind was paying for it all. So, my question is: If the rent is around $700/month can that be equally split 3 ways between 3 people without any hassle from the owners of the apartment?
Another thing, I'm actively looking for a job, and if I don't find anything until I move out, is it OK to use student loans on the payments? I would have been using loans if I were going to University, and got a dorm, so how would this be any different?
Thanks.
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The rent on our house will be $850 a month and we're splitting it amongst the three of us. I don't see why that wouldn't work for you as well.
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you'll be fine, trust me. when you live with people it can be very easy for them to get on your nerves, even if they're best friends. trust me when i say there are times you are going to get annoyed, but just be patient and do your best to forget about it, and it will work.
after you've been living together, you and your rooomates will find a rhythm. everything will make more sense.
overall, it is a fun experience. just make sure you keep posting on this forum.
p.s. don't just think it's your share of 850 a month, and that's it. alot of unexpected costs will come into play, so be prepared brotherman.
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Yeah, I'm like Reap, pity a soul that dares step foot in my room without my knowing. Death occurs. But it is understood without words.
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The rent on our house will be $850 a month and we're splitting it amongst the three of us. I don't see why that wouldn't work for you as well.
That's cheap as fuck! I think my share of the apartment where I'm moving will be maybe $560 per month
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The rent on our house will be $850 a month and we're splitting it amongst the three of us. I don't see why that wouldn't work for you as well.
That's cheap as fuck! I think my share of the apartment where I'm moving will be maybe $560 per month
Dang dude, do you have your own swimming pool or something?
My share of the rent (split 3 ways) is $225. :hat It is $300 when you factor in electric, water, netflix and internet.
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well, it's also tallahassee and a pretty crowded college town. I'm trying to find cheaper stuff
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For me the rent alone will be $283. With electric, water, TV, and internet, the total month's costs shouldn't exceed $350...right?
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I agree with Reap. You must keep things nice and good between you and your roommates, but you cannot let them get away with anything. As soon as you let them slack off, they won't do anything (especially if it's your best friend from grade 3; he/she will do the whole "I am offended that you're angry/ticked off with me, aren't I your friend?" spiel when you confront them about it :tdwn).
Cleaning the house is not difficult in itself; you just have to remember to keep a good stock of cleaning products/supplies. As was mentioned before, laundry is fairly simple (unless you have odd/special/american eagle clothing).
Cooking isn't difficult, but unless you really enjoy it, you'll find that you'll never want to actually cook.
If it helps any, my parents just got back from a 3-week vacation on a trans-Atlantic & Mediterranean luxury cruise, and my younger sister and I were home alone and had to fend for ourselves. Never having done this before, our parents were confident we could survive, and sure enough, we did (although my sister did abso-fucking-lutely nothing to help.)
Just make sure you make full meals, clean your dishes and share your responsibilities evenly
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For me the rent alone will be $283. With electric, water, TV, and internet, the total month's costs shouldn't exceed $350...right?
you were fishing for it weren't you?
before i joined the army in 08', i lived in a house with two room mates. one of them had a chihuahua that had a stomach problem, so it could only eat a veterinarian prescribed kind of dog food. my roomies and i took a day trip to orlando, and while we were gone, the dog (mikey) got into the trash and ate a mcdonald's wrapper (we found it later in the poo). i didn't just crap on the carpet, it diarrhea'd on it. and since we were gone all day, we couldn't clean it up, so it stained the carpet. it was a small dog, and to this day i don't understand how that dog was capable of producing so much crap, in all seriousness.
long story short, we had to pay for two rooms in the house to have the carpets professionally cleaned, and my share was 150 bucks. true story.
point is, stuff like that happens, so be prepared.
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Pretty much everything everyone has said here.
Coming from a background of living by myself, THEN having housemates, and now living on my own (again!), it is important to keep civil with your room mates, recognize your space and theirs and try not to make waves to the best of your ability, even though there will more than likely be a few times where you will all have disagreements. Living with anybody, even if they are your best friend, is not the easiest thing and it definately will require give-and-take on everyone's part to make it a pleasant place to live. But as long as you maintain civility and all that, you will be fine.
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For me the rent alone will be $283. With electric, water, TV, and internet, the total month's costs shouldn't exceed $350...right?
Depends on how much electric you use and what company, for one thing. From where I used to live, in the summer (and I live in Florida), the electric bill would be $400 a month! And we didn't even use it that much besides for normal A/C, fridge, hot water, and computer.
Where I live now, same conditions, $100, if that.
Also depends on what service you get with what company for internet and such. Some places have a bundle package, like Comcast (which we have currently). El Barto gave the awesome advice of getting a good amount of months free by calling them up, getting the service, and after a month, tell them you may need to cancel it because you can't afford it right now or you may have to switch providers. I did that (politely) and saved a year's worth of internet bills.
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Read Andy's posts about living away from his parents. Be the opposite.
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Wash your dishes right after eating!!!!
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Just be cool, man.
Also this:
p.s. don't just think it's your share of 850 a month, and that's it. alot of unexpected costs will come into play, so be prepared brotherman.
-J
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Clean up your personal messes. When I lived with someone and I ended up doing all the cleaning, it ruined our relationship. Talk openly about things that are getting on your nerves - communication is key with roommates.
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I'm a very clean person. I never leave trash lying around or anything. So cleaning up won't be a problem, at least on my end. My best friend is a pretty clean person too. I'm not sure about the other guy.
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It's always going to me more expensive than you thought.
Other than that I'm not sure what to say. When I moved out it was on my own and so I didn't have to worry about other people.
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You people are crazy, my share of the rent for my apartment last year was 735 a month. Oh the woes of Southern California.
But yeah, I don't really have any advice, even after living 5500 miles away from my parents. Be respectful to your roomates, know how to do laundry, learn how to cook some basic things, don't let your place become a total shithole. It's really not that hard to take care of yourself, don't worry.
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It's not such a big deal as people think. After two days you're glad you moved out and never want to move back in :p.
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My advice:
Keep the place reasonably clean. You're three guys living in a house together. A recipe for a shithole. Try not to let stuff grow in the bathtub or the kitchen. Any ladies you bring over will thank you.
Do not be tempted to use a credit card for expenses or for going out money. And do not be tempted to take out more student loans than you really need. Both will come back to haunt you when you're out of college and in the real world.
Have fun!
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My advice:
Keep the place reasonably clean. You're three guys living in a house together. A recipe for a shithole. Try not to let stuff grow in the bathtub or the kitchen. Any ladies you bring over will thank you.
Do not be tempted to use a credit card for expenses or for going out money. And do not be tempted to take out more student loans than you really need. Both will come back to haunt you when you're out of college and in the real world.
Have fun!
Great points!!!
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Rule #1.
Stay away from women. All they want from you is your man juice. Now, if you get any urges you can't suppress with hard liquor, use this:
(https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/news-articles/1006/hand_pic.JPG)
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Rule #1.
Stay away from women. All they want from you is your man juice. Now, if you get any urges you can't suppress with hard liquor, use this:
(https://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTLKc91vqtnBNlXSaRvvJAfD0lmULXndM6PaRhmePBGVoUiDrGD)
FTFY
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Well...I actually sat down and did some calculations today. I can't afford this. I'd be broke within two months. And my parents just sat me down and told me that it's my decision, but if I were to get in any sort of bind, they would not and could not help me out. And after adding up what I have now, what I'll be making, and subtracting all of my expected costs, I definitely wouldn't be able to get by without some support. I just don't have enough money in the bank right now. If this were to happen sometime late in the Fall, I could afford. But I can't right now, plain and simple.
God, this blows.
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Man, if it were me, I would KILL to live with my parents, or to have that opportunity. Having your own place is nice and all, but when you're not making that much money, it's better financially to stay with the parents.
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Living under my mothers roof all through college made it possible for me to buy a house at 25. Amazing.