Kids

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

I understand your perspective, my brother is quite similar too you.

I commend you and him on taking the stance you do, my comments were aimed at the younger crowd, who are gung-ho on not having children

Is it a burden? sure. Does it require a change of lifestyle ? absolutely. But for all the cons there are some glorious pros as well.

And likewise, it takes a really special person to be able to do the job of being a parent.  No vacation, no sick leave, no weekends off, etc.  That's stress that would eat at me, like being handed a life sentence in jail.  So props to you and everyone else who IS capable of it.  I seriously do not know how you do it.

[bout to crash]

Yeah, fuck that 

[Chino]

Just something to consider 

[hefdaddy42]

All of that is the easy part.

[jingle.boy]

Or you could consider this:













There's an old saying... when I do good, no one remembers; when I do bad, no one forgets. 

I've got no beef for anyone that doesn't want to be a parent, but you're putting your blinders on if all you think/see are the bad parts of parenting, or the 'bad' parents in society.  Yes, there are irresponsible and immature people that shouldn't be parents - just the type that Josh references.  There are also a lot of Tick's, Hef's, Bosk's, TV's, gmiller's, lonestar's and jingle.boy's out there too.

So for every horror story you hear and see, there are just as many brilliant moments that absolutely melt our hearts, fill us with pride, give us a sense of accomplishment, and provide a selfless purpose for our life.

[hefdaddy42]

[Chino]

I completely agree. I just stumbled across an album on The Chive of a bunch of kids crying, I just thought I'd share a few of the pics. That's why I posted the "  " .

[jingle.boy]

I completely agree. I just stumbled across an album on The Chive of a bunch of kids crying, I just thought I'd share a few of the pics. That's why I posted the "  " .

   :itsallgood:

[bout to crash]

Oh, I think kids crying is adorable. Because I don't have to deal with it 

[eric42434224]

Having kids is a monster responsibility with many issues, challenges, heartbreak, and stress.
But the good outweighs the bad by orders of magnitude.  The joy I have received from being a parent is immense, and cant be repeated anywhere else.
It takes a person that is not as self centric to be able to give so much of themselves to properly raise children.
It is not for everyone, and I respect that.
Though I find it interesting that one can make a judgement on themselves having children, when all they base their decision is on their interaction with other peoples kids.
I am constantly annoyed by other parents, and their kids behavoir.
Whats missing in the judgement is the insanely crazy love you will have for your OWN children.  Trust me it is a feeling you cant imagine until it happens to you.
That is why most people who have kids would never take that decision back.

[Tick]

I have 1 child. My daughter Brianna is turning 14 next week and she is the most awesome kid I could ever ask for. She makes me proud everyday. She doesn't judge other kids and doesn't exclude people based on appearance. She has fat friends, skinny friends, and friends of all ethnic backgrounds and see's them all the same.
She is a great student in school. She is not having sex, and is not on drugs! Yes..I know this to be true.

To the parents of have said their kids lie...I believe that's something a lot of kids do when they are young. My daughter Bri used to lie when she was younger.

[eric42434224]

My daughter Bri used to lie when she was younger.

She still does Tick.  They all do.  Its OK.

You sound like a loving father.  Kudos to you.

[Tick]

My daughter Bri used to lie when she was younger.

She still does Tick.  They all do.  Its OK.

You sound like a loving father.  Kudos to you.

Oh I know Eric. I guess what I should have said was her lies when she was 6 or 7 were blatant and obvious. It was easy to call her on them.

[nightmare_cinema]

I love kids, I never really wanted them until I got a baby nephew when I was 22. Unfortunately I can't see him or his new younger brother anymore (my own brother, their dad, is a cunt) but they really triggered my maternal instincts. I'm 26 now and would quite like to think about kids 30-32 if life works out that way. I definitely don't want them any time before that, I only just literally this month qualified and got my first graduate job, and I want a good solid five years of hard work, learning the job, seeing where I can progress to etc. as being female, once you get pregnant your career is pretty much kaput for a couple of years at least. Also, in my line of work, if I got pregnant I'd be immediately removed from a major part of the job (risk issues as there are a lot of assaults) which would suck.

I look at people my age with kids trying to do what I'm doing, and struggling with childcare, with paying for a babysitter, with trying to get a job with short work shifts or stay near their kid's school, and thank fuck I haven't had them yet. When I finished my MA this year I applied for every single job I liked the look of in the entire country, and then moved to the first place that offered me a job. There were literally zero jobs in my field in my city (a few have popped up now but I didn't wanna hang around just in case). I always had family or relationships keeping me around in my home city, but now I don't and the freedom is intoxicating. Suddenly I'm living in a brand new city doing the job of my dreams earning more money than I've had before (not huge amounts by anyone's standards, but still more than I've had before and for less hours), I can't imagine how I'd have been able to pull of a two year MA working 70 hours per week if I'd had a child to think about.

If I don't have them biologically I'd love to adopt. Or, both. I just know that someday I want to be a parent, just not yet. I adored being a hands-on auntie to my nephews and it kills me every day I don't get to do that anymore, from the grossest parts to the most 'boring', I loved it all, nothing made me happier than taking my little toddler nephew out together for the day, I swear it was as close to heaven as I've ever felt. The only thing that concerns me is I don't know if I'll have them before I've lost parents as my mum already died and my dad is in his sixties and has emphysema. I would be devastated if I had kids without their grandparents around but you don't know what life is gonna deal you.

[Silver Tears]

I'm pretty sure I want to have kids at some point but not any time soon.

[Grizz]

it's 100% the fault of the fact that well over half of the current generation of young parents with kids under 10 are spineless, discourteous buffoons who've either been brainwashed by new age child-rearing books or the media that their child is too special for behavior-correcting discipline or are just lazy inconsiderate assholes.

I think that blaming the stance that spanking children is a bad idea (which, I'll admit, is based on nothing but tons of peer-reviewed research that is generally accepted as scientific fact nowadays) is misguided. Stupidity is a constant in human society, and there are always plenty of little heathens running around regardless of what's trendy in parenting.

She is a great student in school. She is not having sex, and is not on drugs! Yes..I know this to be true.

As far as you know
I kid. Nice work, Tick. I wish there were more kids like yours in my school of idiots, although luckily the social hierarchy is currently setup so that one doesn't usually have to deal with idiots.

[hefdaddy42]

If any of you parents start to experience anything going on with your kids on an emotional/mental health level, please get them help, as much as you can, as soon as you can.

[Hyperplex]

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't consider myself endlessly lucky to have my son in my life. He shows me every single day how special he is, even when he's misbehaving or testing our limits. Because, no matter how frustrated or upset with him I can get, there is nothing in the world that will every keep me from loving him. I can be angry as all hell and still be filled to the brim with love for him, and he shows me how amazing he is every day. I can't wait to share that same feeling with his sister-to-be.

And he is a great kid; intelligent, intuitive and extremely caring of others. Whether that is something inherent in him or something we have somehow managed to impart upon him, I don't know. I just know that, for me, becoming a husband and a father are the two best things I've ever done with my life.

[Neon]

Looking at pictures of screaming children, and imagining the awful noise coming out of them, is enough to make me never want them.

I can totally see myself screaming back at them, "SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL REALLY GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!!"
...And this is why I don't have kids.

[black_biff_stadler]

I can't wait to meet the goil of my dreams who'll bear zero children for me.

[bout to crash]

Hey, baby.

[Podaar]

[bout to crash]

D'awwwwwwww 

How could you even be mad?

[Chino]

Depends what they are. If that was my secret M&M stash, I'd be pretty pissed. If they were Skittles, I'd laugh.

[Podaar]

That's a giant bag of cereal. It's from a FB post by my son-in-law with the caption, "'Sorry. It slipped.' Does anyone else's day start like this?"

[mike099]

Kids are great, but grandkids are better.  One reason is you can keep them for awhile and give them back.

We have a boy(27) and girl(29).  Our son and daughter in law are trying to have a kid, but so far no luck.  Our two grandaughters are 8 and 4. 

Not really surprising how many younger couples have decided not to have kids.

[Neon]

What a PITA.  Just looking at that makes me angry.   

Who the hell has time to clean up a mess like that, particularly in the morning when you're trying to rush to get out the door? 

[bout to crash]

Oh come on, look at that face!

[Lynxo]

I just have one thing to say and that is that I have the greatest respect for all you responsible parents out there. You guys are heros and one of the reasons (not the only one, mind you) that I don't want to have kids is that I could never live up to that myself. So kudos to you. 

About that pic: Yeah, I would be pretty pissed if that happened to me as well.

[Chino]

Oh come on, look at that face!

I made the same face when I put the garden hose down the oil pipe for our furnace as a kid. That was a nice little $1500 cleanup.

[Podaar]

Who the hell has time to clean up a mess like that, particularly in the morning when you're trying to rush to get out the door?

Oh, silly Neon. This statement shows your total lack of experience in parenting.

First, when you have a child this age you are never "trying to rush to get out the door". The days of sleeping until the last possible moment and then rushing off to work (or where ever) are long gone. By this time the child has trained you to get up before the sun.

Second, you never clean up a child's mess for them unless it is too dangerous for them or is beyond their mental capacity. Still you should find a way to involve them whenever you can. Teaching responsibility for their own actions is extremely high on the list of desirable outcomes (although, what the child truly learns is completely out of your hands).

If that picture makes you angry, I would agree that parenting is a questionable occupation for you. Here's the same child in a different situation...how does this make you feel 

I made the same face when I put the garden hose down the oil pipe for our furnace as a kid. That was a nice little $1500 cleanup.

Being a bit clumsy and being deliberately destructive are not equal probability actions for children. The first one is highly probable, the second is more rare. It's up to the parent to determine which kind child they have and adjust their diligence accordingly. But, yes, destructive children are often bold-faced-liars and will try to manipulate by defusing a situation with fake affection.

[Chino]

I made the same face when I put the garden hose down the oil pipe for our furnace as a kid. That was a nice little $1500 cleanup.

Being a bit clumsy and being deliberately destructive are not equal probability actions for children. The first one is highly probable, the second is more rare. It's up to the parent to determine which kind child they have and adjust their diligence accordingly. But, yes, destructive children are often bold-faced-liars and will try to manipulate by defusing a situation with fake affection.

I didn't do it to be destructive. I was four years old. I didn't even know what our oil tank was or where that pipe went. All I knew was there was a pipe coming out of our house with a screw cap on it, and it was right next to the garden hose. I was probably trying to be like mommy and daddy when they were at a gas station.

[Podaar]

Ah, I see, that wasn't really the gist I got from your post. In that case, nothing to do but shrug and pay the bill! One of the many unusual costs to being a parent.

Like you said, you probably were just having some fun at imagination-station. Nothing wrong with that.

[Stadler]

One, and she's a pain in my ass. If the lying would stop all would be well, but she lies so much that it is done without a second thought. I lied too at her age, but this is ridiculous. And it's for the stupidest shit too. Otherwise, she's a good kid. Very smart, but god dammit stop fucking lying to me! She's 7 by the way.

So what's driving that?    Why is she seeing an upside for lying?   What are the rewards for not lying or the punishments for lying?   Or is there something else going on (like sensory perception disorder, where the lying is a way of seeking physical comfort)?

I got one, a 13-year old daughter.

[Fluffy Lothario]

27, no kids, going to the doctor to see about a vasectomy any day now.

I don't feel I can justify burdening a child with my rancid genetics, the sub-par upbringing I know I would give them, and a life in what's going to be left of this planet in fifty years.