How can I be sexy like you?
Considering that you have a gf that I'd do things to that are illegal in 46 states if you weren't with her, I feel like I should be the one asking you this question. However, if you wanna be a classy dame like me, here are some quick pointers:
1) Be born to a mother whose father was bald. Male pattern baldness has given me a distinguished Kelsey Grammer-esque sixhead:
2) The ladies like gently subduing sapphire peepers:
You look swell in tinted spectacles though so this part isn't critical:
Furthermore, if you end up single and need to get back in the game, it won't take much effort to become this:
And then you can at least end up with this:
And get some of this:
Relax, it's a closeup of a mouth.How can I be sexy like you?
You can't. Nobody can be sexy like the _floyd.
We both live in NC. In what city do you currently reside? (I'm in Chapel Hill)
Clayton. A small rural town ~30 minutes from Raleigh masquerading as a burgeoning "suburb."
I'll likely still be living here close to another year before moving back to New Orleans. Once I have a car and a little cash saved up, I'd absolutely love to have a triangle meetup with you, The Outlaw Xanadu, Hefdaddy, senecadawg, and skydivingninja as well as any other NCers I may be overlooking.
You ever been naked in public?
Nah. The closest was having to briefly be naked when I lost a game of strip poker at a friend's house back in 2001.
Run someone over with a vehicle?
No, pedestrians are annoyingly quick these days
Been caught with your pants down?
I accidentally flashed my sister-in-law on a cold winter morning back in '99 while she was sitting right next to my brother. When me and my bro both still lived at home, all 3 of us used to huddle up on my bed and watch movies sometimes and I think we were about to on that day as well. She and I have always had a zany rapport with one another humorwise since she's like the sister I never had so I was jokingly doing a fake striptease thing as I was shimmying off my work pants so I could change into my shorts and I didn't realize that the mouse was out of the house.
Sadly enough for my bro, that's just tied for being his greatest moment of shame involving me and her. Back when we were watching Seven on that same bed all three of us were huddled up side by side and I'm lying on my stomach. I'd held in a fart for a good 20-30 minutes but then I was just tired of holding it in and there was some dramatic silence during that scene in the field near the end and I ripped one that sounded more like the fake ones they use for comic effect in TV/movies.
My sis-in-law's face ended up bright pink with uncontrollable laughter and her eyes welled up with tears as my brother looked thoroughly mortified since they'd only been together for like 6 months at the time although he was choking back a smirk as well since, let's be real, farts like those come up like once a year, tops.
Gotten into any major fights?
Nah. Ten years ago on my 21st birthday was the last time I even came close. Me and my pep pep were bowling and there were these three big (6'0'-ish, 220 lbs.-ish) meatheads bowling on the next lane. One of them is sitting in a way that couldn't do any better of a job blocking the entry to the pit area where the seats are. I'm feeling quite good by now thanks to traditional 21st b-day activities so I have to briefly place my hands on his shoulders to steady myself as I walk through the nanometer of space the douche had left us to squeeze by.
He looks at me and tells me to never put my hands on him in a smug way that only a wigger can. I nonchalantly say "sorry man" cuz I didn't give a fuck. He repeats himself. I repeat myself. He says it a third time. I ignore him and go on. Throughout my game I started to notice the three dudes and their cum dumpster gfs looking at me and my dad and obviously laughing and cracking jokes to themselves about us. By the 9th frame, I was annoyed enough that I'd broken a sweat, my face was red, and I took my bowling ball and raised it over my head with both hands and plunked it down very loudly onto the lane and looked at them as if I was ready to kill any of them.
They all got this very uncomfortable look on their faces as the dudes tried to feign laughter as a means of hiding their reluctance to back up their tough guy front despite being bigger, taller, and younger than me and my pep pep and they also had 3 of them versus the 2 of us. My dad then went up for his shot and one of the dudes on the other lane had just bowled a strike and was doing a celebration dance. My dad mistook this for being a deliberate attempt to distract him from his shot and got in the dude's face and said "Look motherfucker, if you've got a beef we can settle this shit right here" as he struggled to even be that tactful.
I got right next to my dad to make sure they didn't rush him and we eyed down the three of them as they once again tried to diffuse the situation with feigned looks of amusement while poorly hiding the same look someone on the verge of jailhouse rape has in their eyes. The fact that they tried to fuck with us for no reason and eventually got their nuts clipped right in front of their gfs even with every conceivable advantage was hilarious.
Finally, what was the most disappointing episode of a tv show you've ever seen?
Seinfeld series finale. No other show even comes remotely close for me.
Alright my friend, what's your favorite beer and what dish do you like to pair with it?
Totally my kind of question
I tried no less than 70 new beers in the first 6-7 months I moved back up to NC so it's a bit hard to narrow it down.
Some highlights have definitely been:
Great Divide Espresso Oak-Aged Yeti
Breckenridge Small Batch 471
Ranger IPA
I've almost completely eliminated pairing beer and food though. I tried it for years but eventually decided I enjoy a good meal best when I wash it down with coke or juice since the sweet/savory back-and-forth tastes much better to me than beer and food. Also, I like beer much better when I taste all of it which doesn't quite happen for me if its flavor is fighting for space on my palate against a rich food dish.
That said, back when I did do the beer/food thing, my favorite was pan searing thick shark steaks by first marinating them in McCormick's lemon pepper Flavor Medleys marinade for 20-30 minutes and then pan searing them in a pan on high heat for ten minutes, flipping every two minutes, and finishing it by placing them into an inch deep oven-safe metal pan with all of the marinade that was left in the bowl it was previously marinating in, covering that pan with foil, venting that foil with several pokings of a fork, and then letting it steam in a preheated oven at broil temperature for ~20 minutes. Very juicy and dee-lish.
I'd pair it with 9% abv Chimay Grande Reserve:
Okay, on to my question... which is actually one of Scrop's (turn-about is fair play, my friend 
): Who do you believe has the best avatar/signature combo here on our favorite place to waste time and otherwise have a laugh or twenty in the process?
Strangely enough for as much time as I spend here, I don't subconsciously pick up on sigs that much so I sctually just had to spend 20 minutes trying to find a sig I could count as my favorite but nothing really stuck out head-and-shoulders above the rest. As for avatars, I'm partial to Fuzzboy:
Could you beat LHK in a battle of words?
Probably not. I use some pretty words but I think the strength of my posting style is a combo of eccentric deadpan humor coupled with genuine relatability peppered with some verbalingus. LeeHarveyKennedy, on the other hand, has had a longstanding reputation of being DTF royalty when it comes to his ability to wow the masses with his wit and vernacular and is likely only paralleled by RobWebster in that regard.
I was however flattered that he (I think) was the first person to ever sig me when there was some discussion that involved a hypothetical scenario where someone owed $5000 to someone else but the debtor had been treated like a dick or something like that so I made a post along the lines of "I'd walk right over to the guy's house with the $5000 in hand, hold it out for him to see, then immediately drop trou, shit on his front lawn and proceed to wipe my ass with said $5000. I dunno, maybe I was just raised in a better family than you."
Most surprising food concoction you've ever produced?
That's a tough call. I can't quite recall making anything absurd but I'd say the most surprising was when I spent 5 hours making a vegetable medley that ended up as good as most meat dishes I've ever made.
I started by caramelizing a 3 lb. bag of yellow onions by slivering them and cooking them down in butter until deep brown and candy sweet. I then added slivered red, orange, yellow, and green bell peppers and stewed them with the onions until thoroughly softened. While this was going on, I oven-roasted baby asparagus with parmesan, minced garlic, lemon juice, salt, and pepper until crisp and nutty in flavor. Then, I oven roasted zucchini with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Finally, I combined all of these and stewed it together over slightly higher than medium heat for 20 minutes so all the flavors married.
It stood toe-to-toe with the breaded eggplant topped with hollandaise and chicken in chardonnay and cremini sauce I'd made to go with it.
What are the merits of small family owned businesses?
I see you've been reading my threads. The ones I've worked in have been very nepotistic and generally operate with the mentality of "We don't have enough of our own family willing to work here so we'll bring in just enough outsiders to get by and make them the first in line to get their hours cut whenever business stagnates regardless of performance and we'll also place a glass ceiling on the career paths of any non-family personnel since all of the perks and benefits are reserved for those whom share a surname with the owners."
I know SystematicThought's family operates a store that he's rightfully proud of and I realize that clearly not all mom-n-pops are run like that but, speaking solely from my own experiences, that has been the case.
What should I have for breakfast on Thursday?
Onion bagel with cream cheese and smoked lox.
Trim the hedges?
Scorched earth, homie.
If you were given the chance to coach the Saints and/or LSU for a whole season, how would you whip them back into shape?
Saints:
Spend a solid hour with the defense working on tackling every practice day. Offer the backup D-linemen starting positions if any of them can run a faster 40 than who ever is our current "fastest" D-linemen. Give the WRs a chance to get out of the next day's practice two hours early for any of them that make it through the entire practice without a single dropped pass. Braid Thomas Morstead's hair.
LSU:
Force Zach Mettenberger to realize he's fucking 6'5" and that it's inexcusable to be impotent at passing over the middle when you're that tall. For the first half of practice each day, he's not allowed to pass to anyone outside the hash marks. Players will have to run a half mile for every fumble in practice. The defense has done their job aside from getting owned on the ground by Florida but that was all the offense's fault for making the D play easily an extra half-game worth of snaps due to how quickly they punted the ball seemingly every time they got it.
Of course, it doesn't hurt that I'm a female who came into a well-established sausage fest, so... 
Where are the sausages you speak of?
Slice these into pieces a little thicker than 1/4 inch at an angle that'll make them about 1 1/2 inches long, brown 'em over medium heat, and then mix them with the caramelized onion and bell pepper mixture part of the vegetable medley I mentioned above, stew all of this together for 20 minutes, and be prepared to have a cigarette handy for when you're done (you'll need it.)
Topic: The Ask black_floyd Thread (page 42) (Read 125277 times)
