The post funny stuff thread v.Aleph-naught

[Adami]

I don't get the eye test one.

[King Postwhore]

I don't get the eye test one.

 

They are asking him to come in for the results with large font.  Hinting that he has poor eye sight and needs glasses.

[jingle.boy]

I don't get the eye test one.

Took me a minute to realize the joke was in the font size as well.

[Adami]

I don't get the eye test one.

Took me a minute to realize the joke was in the font size as well.

I get it. I just didn’t think the font size was particularly big.

Ah well.

[King Postwhore]

I don't get the eye test one.

Took me a minute to realize the joke was in the font size as well.

I get it. I just didn’t think the font size was particularly big.

Ah well.

You must go by thickness Steven Wright. 

[hefdaddy42]

[Zydar]

[pg1067]

The escorts and the cooking competition.   

I googled "oversize escorts mt vernon" and found this article with the headline "Ms. Sally Jo's Oversized Escort Service can handle your load":  https://onmilwaukee.com/articles/sallyjosescortservice   

[faizoff]

Having the herbivore pun joke right below the Dad fella is perfect positioning. Great Batch!

[Stadler]

The flight attendant ones are great.   

[TAC]

"No, this is her husband." 

[wolfking]

"No, this is her husband." 

That was my fav of that bunch too.

[Zydar]

[pg1067]

The Maiden one is great, and the hot dog one made me gag a little.  Hope I'm not the only one who doesn't get the last one.

[Stadler]

Durex makes condoms, but beyond that, I'm still pondering.

[Zydar]

If you use condoms you won't get your car interior ruined by kids. I think that's the joke.

[Adami]

Kids drew all over the console. Durex prevents kids.

[Orbert]

Alternately, don't leave your kids unattended in the car with markers, but yeah.  It's in the "kids as the best advertisement for birth control" category.

[MetalJunkie]

https://imaninja.com/

[hefdaddy42]

If you use condoms you won't get your car interior ruined by kids. I think that's the joke.

That is, in fact, the joke.

[Zydar]

[hefdaddy42]

[Adami]

Hard to argue with science.

[TAC]

Makes total sense. 

[hefdaddy42]

OK, you can touch my butt.

[Zydar]

OK, you can touch my butt.

I knew you'd come around.

[DragonAttack]

Showed this to the wife, and now we’re going to take an afternoon nap’ 

TMI? 

[lonestar]

Here's a choc chip cinnamon roll cookie recipe for after...
1/2 cup salted butter, softened, one stick
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 large egg, whisked
3/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/4 cup flour
2 tablespoons french vanilla pudding
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup cinnamon chips

Heat the oven to 350 degrees.
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silpat.
In a mixer, combine the sugars, and butter.
Mix for 1 minute then add the vanilla and egg and mix for another 15 seconds.
In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, pudding, baking soda and cinnamon.
Add the wet and dry ingredients together.
Mix for 30 seconds and add the cinnamon and white chocolate chips.
Scoop out the dough onto the baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, make the cinnamon roll frosting.
Remove the cookies from the oven and allow to cool and frost, or frost and top with another cookie!

[TAC]

Here's a choc chip cinnamon roll cookie recipe for after...
*snip*

After what? DragonAttack's nap?

[pg1067]

Here's a choc chip cinnamon roll cookie recipe for after...
1/2 cup salted butter, softened, one stick
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 large egg, whisked
3/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/4 cup flour
2 tablespoons french vanilla pudding
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup cinnamon chips

Heat the oven to 350 degrees.
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silpat.
In a mixer, combine the sugars, and butter.
Mix for 1 minute then add the vanilla and egg and mix for another 15 seconds.
In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, pudding, baking soda and cinnamon.
Add the wet and dry ingredients together.
Mix for 30 seconds and add the cinnamon and white chocolate chips.
Scoop out the dough onto the baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, make the cinnamon roll frosting.
Remove the cookies from the oven and allow to cool and frost, or frost and top with another cookie!

That'll be on my to do list for the weekend (no butt touching needed)!

EDIT:  How do you make the frosting?

[Adami]

I’d guess you mix powdered sugar with cream cheese, milk, vanilla abstract, and cinnamon until desired consistency. I’d start with 3 cups of powdered sugar and maybe 4 oz cream cheese and enough milk while whisking until you get the desired consistency.

This is just off the top of my head so the amounts may be off. But it’s easy to wing and adjust.

[DragonAttack]

I think the frosting ties in to the butt rub…..

[King Puppies and the Acid Guppies]

Showed this to the wife, and now we’re going to take an afternoon nap’ 

TMI? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu1UXCdyNo0

[DragonAttack]

More like...   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7IYSAUj78g 

[cramx3]

Here's a choc chip cinnamon roll cookie recipe for after...
1/2 cup salted butter, softened, one stick
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 large egg, whisked
3/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/4 cup flour
2 tablespoons french vanilla pudding
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup cinnamon chips

Heat the oven to 350 degrees.
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silpat.
In a mixer, combine the sugars, and butter.
Mix for 1 minute then add the vanilla and egg and mix for another 15 seconds.
In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, pudding, baking soda and cinnamon.
Add the wet and dry ingredients together.
Mix for 30 seconds and add the cinnamon and white chocolate chips.
Scoop out the dough onto the baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, make the cinnamon roll frosting.
Remove the cookies from the oven and allow to cool and frost, or frost and top with another cookie!

hmmm maybe I should use this recipe for my next batch of weed cookies