Man, this really is one buggy-ass game. Given the scope of the whole thing, I'm willing to cut them some slack that things don't always work as planned, but a couple of them are just damned annoying. For one thing, I don't think my wife and kids have ever even met each other, since there's no way to get them both in the same house at the same time. Also, I'd love to have a bad-ass mage chick as a follower since higher level necromancers tend to kick Lydia's ass, but the Illia bug makes that fairly difficult. I thought I'd wrapped that up by making her the steward at Lakeview, which means that if you cut her loose she returns their, but now the follow me option seems to have vanished altogether.
I've got one last strategy to resolve the family thing. I figure if I divorce the old lady, I can then tell the kids to move to Solitude. Then I can remarry her and have her move there, as well. If that doesn't work, then I'm taking the lot of them out to the woods to Kaiser Soze their silly asses.