As a recovering (self described) sexual addict.. I did "hook up for caual sex" hundreds of times. Probably somewhere in the "Lemmy" range of things if I had to guess. There was a time for many years when every weekend thats all I did. I was usually successful. Seeing as there are 52 weeks in a year, and a Friday AND a Saturday night, every week...it adds up. Hell...I once had sex with 5 women (individually) in a 24 hour period (Number 3 had just left not more than ten minutes earlier when #4 let herself into my apartment and climbed into the shower with me...I remember thinking.."They HAD to pass each other didn't they?"). I stopped continually trying to remember them all years ago, but I still recall an experience from time to time. It used to drive me crazy. Regrets? Yeah...I have a few. While I enjoyed every minute of it, I wish most of it had never happened really. I missed out on a lot actually. And broke more than a few hearts. Sometimes, when I look at my wife...I think I'm not worthy. Karmacally speaking.
How did you manage that - hookup websites or paying for it?
College football player.
That was a large portion of it indeed. I never paid for sex (okay divorce doesn't count here
), and I never went to a "hookup website". I have done just about everything else. My best friend and I (whom I've implicated as my partner in crime in many of these scenarios) had a bet our junior year (grade 11) of high school to see who could be first to sleep with a girl whose first name began with every letter of the alphabet before we graduated. They had to be done alphabetically, and we couldn't sleep with a girl that the other guy had already slept with. He made it to "N", got "Nancy" pregnant and wound up marrying her for about two years. I made it to the letter "Q". There arent many women in north America whose name begins with Q. To this day, I say I won. He says we never officially finished. I still don't think I've ever slept with a woman whose name began with "Q". In college it was bad...really, really bad. Girls, lonely alumni wives, and even a couple of college professors were willing recepients of "Dr. Tempus' Two-Ball Root Serum". I actually got an A from Dr. Stephanie Wiley in an English class my sophomore year, and not because of anything I'd done academically
. Grad school was just as insane, only then I lived for a while (about a year) in a ménage à trois relationship with two women (Angie and Lisa). We started getting into a pretty fast swinger lifestyle for a while and they in turn brought many other women in to share our bed(s) from time to time. I also sang in a few bands through the years as well to help pay the bills and I would get laid alot from that. It was crazy. Law school was just as intense. And for many years, every night that I went out, I went out for the sole purpose of getting laid. I used to take bets at clubs with friends on whether I could pick up someone. I used to let them pick. I was usually successful. I also was a part owner in a bar for many years. I didn't work the bar (at least not in the sense you would expect
), but if you think bartenders get a lot of play (they do btw), bar OWNERS get even more. My best friend was a partner in the venture
. Let's just say that it seemed like nearly every night we had a party after hours of some sort. Women used to line up, literally, at the bar, and we would all do free shots for awhile and then thin them out as we went along. At closing time, we'd say, "Lets keep partying", and they would. We'd lock the doors, kick out the staff; and the bar, the dance floor, tables, a booth, billiards tables, etc. became the beds. It was great. After a while I started having regular hookups almost every night of the week, and it nearly killed me.
There was a girl, Melissa, who used to drive me crazy. She started this crap where she wanted to have a dom relationship with me and have me be her master and she my sex slave. I played along for about a year, but she wanted to come around EVERY NIGHT. It was too much. I actually got bored one night, and ran out of shit for her to do, so after we'd had sex for like the fifth time that day I had her crawl around on all fours and bark like a dog for like two hours! And she did it!
I didn't know what else to do with her. She used to page me over and over and over again, or call EVERYWHERE trying to track me down, so I finally would get on the phone and she'd say " I REALLY need to see my Master tonight. Oh,
please Master tell me what you want me to do." And I'd get all serious and tell her, "The last time we were together, you didn't blow me enough, so as punishment, I'm going to have to discipline you and spank you the next time I see you"; and she'd get all breathy on the phone and moan and stuff and say "Ummm...Master...yessss...spank me. Spank me hard tonight!", and then I'd say, "Thats not all...as further punishment, you can't talk to me or see me for two weeks!"
She'd get all pouty and whiny, and I'd tell her "I'm serious, instead you have to play with yourself everyday." I'd get a two week break from her, and she'd come see me after two weeks, and tell me all about her masturbatory compliance with my commands, which would in turn make me hard enough to cut diamonds, and I'd take her home and bang the hell out of her, which was a mistake, because she'd start clingey again. But she would do ANYTHING...and I mean anything I told her to do. I started telling her to pick up other women for us both to have sex with and she did.
It was INSANE!! When I became an attorney, same thing. Women are attracted not only to power, but the perception of power. When I started writing, same thing. My first book tour, I thought I'd pulled my prostate!
Let me just say, this lifestyle cost me alot emotionally, spiritually and financially. I longed for a healthy relationship. I have been determined to have just that for many, many years now. I can't say that I've always been pure. But I don't have to try so hard to be these days. Mrs. Vox is more than enough for me...right now.
(JK)...My friend? He's long now been remarried, and has a couple of mistresses to this day, and still scores an occassional conquest; all while fathering two kids without his wife finding out!! Crazy!! He also hates it for the most part, but the opposite sex has a long history of making men weak. To paraphrase a line Chris Rock once pointed out, "I have never been able to run fast enough to get away from any pussy that's been after me." Only now, I try to stay away from places where it might sneak up on me.