Ahhhh...The "Black Shirt". Probably the single greatest thing that causes my wife to look at me while I sleep and think about ways to kill me.
Two years ago I was in Europe on a book tour, and my wife calls me and the following conversation actually took place:
Me: Hey babe. What's up?
Mrs. Vox: Tempus! Stop buying t-shirts! (you will note this was not a request, but a demand).
Me: What??
Mrs. Vox: Don't buy anymore damn t-shirts! It's insane!
Me: What are you talki--
Mrs. Vox: (interrupting me) I was just in your closet this morning. Do you know how many t-shirts you have in there? Do you?? I'll bet you don't even know!
Me: I have no idea! But you know I like t-shirts.
*FULL DISCLOSURE HERE* I have a few dozen concert tee's, but more importantly I have A LOT more that are adorned with what I think are clever sayings for example, some of my favs:
I have a shirt that has the table of elements on it and the caption reads, "I wear this shirt Periodically", 'Never trust an atom they make up everything", "Back in my day we had nine planets", "Let's eat grandma. Let's eat, grandma. Punctutation saves lives"
You get the gist I'm sure.
Mrs. Vox: 177!! ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-SEVEN!!! Who needs that many t-shirts Tempus?!?!
Me: We'll...I do. I like them. They're funny, and they represent bands and music I like.
Mrs. Vox: (Sighing) I know honey...but jeeze! C'mon. You can't even possibly ever wear them all.
Me: Not all at once.
Mrs. Vox: Fine! Whatever. Where are you today?
Me: We're sight seeing today. Karen (from my publishers office), Tony (business colleague of mine) and I just left the Eye. Tony had never been there; and now we're headed to get lunch.
Mrs. Vox: Okay have fun...Wait! I'll bet you bought a stupid t-shirt didn't you?
Me: *crickets*
Mrs. Vox: OHMYGOD!! 178!!! 178!! Or have you bought others already?
Me: Maybe...
Mrs. Vox: AGGGGHHH!! Whatever! Call me later.
Me: Okay, love you.
Mrs. Vox: Love you too...bye. WAIT!! Honey, I get the t-shirt thing, but do all of them HAVE to be black??
So, yeah...black tee's